The Watcher [WaR]

I am the Watcher. You will never see my true face. You will most likely never hear my voice. I see everything that has ever happened in every timeline, and everything that will happen in the future. Only those truly deserving, truly needy or truly worthy shall have the chance to receive my gift. There should always be balance, and it is my duty to keep it in check, or put measures in place to restore it where necessary.

In another timeline, there was a recipient known as Timo Holtzer. Born in 1958 in Berlin, you may think of him as your typical post-war baby boomer, but in his timeline, the war ended very differently. Molotov never seceded power to Stalin, so sought peace with the Third Reich in 1939. As there was no Eastern Front for Hitler to concern himself with, he was able to concentrate all of his efforts upon the British in Europe, conquering them in March 1941. As the European war was over by now, Japan never attacked Pearl Harbour, and in fact the United States maintained cordial relationships with the 2 new European superpowers of the USSR and the Third Reich, as well as their willing associates Spain & Yugoslavia.

As there was no Cold War, governments did not plough money into meaningless defence strategies, and instead invested in furthering themselves scientifically, so the Germans were first to put a man on the moon in 1953. Technology developed sooner than in other timelines, with sophisticated computing available in the 1970s and wireless portable communication in everyone’s possession by 1981. This technology was developed by the Yugoslavian government as a way to keep track of their citizens’ movements & communications, a feature that was naturally not released to the public. It was this technology that lead to the supposed downfall of Timo Holtzer.

Timo was a member of ‘Der Strichgegener’, the underground resistance against the Nazi Regime in 1981 Berlin. Whilst its members came from many different backgrounds, with their own individual goals & politics, their collective aim was to remove Rudolf Hitler, son of Adolf, from power and restore democracy to Germany. Hitler had the strategic mind of his father, coupled with looks similar to his mother, but his temper was absolutely foul. He made Adolf seem almost gentleman-like in comparison. Timo wasn’t particularly high in the hierarchy, his office equivalent would be middle management, but he knew enough to be dangerous to the regime. They knew where he lived, where he worked, what he bought from the store, and most importantly, who he desired.

Her name was Maria Voss, she was a shop assistant. Pretty, but a bit simple. She had shoulder length strawberry blonde hair and emerald eyes that lit up every room she entered. She invited Timo over for dinner one night, to try a new recipe on him and this, dear reader, is where his story begins.

Timo stood outside Maria’s apartment block, staring at his reflection in the window, making sure his appearance was immaculate. His navy herringbone suit was perfectly pressed, the pristine white shirt beneath it freshly ironed, no tie though. He brushed his fingers through his golden curls, his icy blue eyes scanned his mirror image to make sure that everything was as it should be. He pressed the buzzer by the intercom, and saw her face appear on the screen. She smiled and invited him in, pressing the button on her end that unlocked the immense door to the complex. He climbed the spiralling staircase to the 3rd floor, turned to his left and knocked on the 2nd door on the right, her door.

Maria welcomed Timo in with a hug and lead him to the wooden table in the corner where two plates were set out. She offered him a glass of wine, which he gladly accepted as he sat down opposite her. They made polite conversation for a few moments, waiting for the meal to be cooked. Timo never noticed that the oven was not even turned on. He was not the most observant of people at this time, nor had Maria thought about it herself. Timo felt himself growing slower, his body becoming more reluctant to move. Maria saw him begin to lose focus and with a tear in her eye, she whispered to him.

“Es tut mir leid.”

I’m sorry.

These were the last words Timo Holtzer would hear as a free man, before he slipped into unconsciousness and a pair of large calloused hands grabbed his lifeless body.


Maria had sold Timo out to the authorities, in exchange for a considerable cash incentive, and protection against any revenge he sought to bring. He was imprisoned in Brandenburg, infamous for the tremendous glass ceiling atop its walls and the harsh regime that it inflicted upon its more long term residents. He had received a 50 year sentence for treason, sedition & other associated crimes against the state, without a trial naturally. It was on his tenth night in his cell that I made myself known to him.
He was clad head to toe in the standard prison wear, your rather cliché cotton shirt & trousers in matching tan tones. He sat in the corner of his room, alone. He appeared a shadow of his former self, his face gaunt from malnutrition, his golden locks had been shaved clean off to provide the conformity that ‘Die Partei’ required of state prisoners and his skin was pale from lack of exposure to the light. He currently had no cellmate as the previous had just passed on. This was the right moment to introduce myself.

“Timo, wie gehts?” I asked. He looked around, startled, trying to work out where the voice was coming from. I had not yet created a physical manifestation for this timeline, so there was nowhere for him to focus. I decided he was ready for what I was going to offer him.

To his eyes, it appeared as though all of the dust particles in the room collected in the centre of the room and formed a pile 6ft tall, hovering in the air. The dust turned black and a figure emerged from it, formed of the same black dust. This was the avatar I would use in this timeline. Three fingers emerged from each hand, the wrists cloaked by what could be considered a long robe. My head was bald, with just two pale orbs the colour of dried bone set in the sockets of the eyes to give any other colour to my appearance. My form floated down to the floor and rested upon the cold stone tiles, standing would not be an appropriate phrase as I was not affected by the gravity of this timeline. Timo’s fear was obvious to even the most emotionally immune, he had pushed himself so far into the corner that it seemed he would slip straight through the stones, an appropriate action considering the gift I was prepared to bestow upon him. I spoke directly into his mind, in order to provide complete clarity on what I was doing for him.

“Timo. I am The Watcher. I exist to provide balance in every timeline. The balance in your world has been unfairly shifted and it must be restored. I believe that you are deserving of my talents. Hold out your hand.”
Timo held out his right hand, palm side down, as I created a cloud around it. A black sphere was imprinted on the dorsal area, surrounded by a pale purple mist. It was the mark of the Gastly, a Pokémon, a concept from a timeline different to this. It would provide Timo with abilities similar to those that the Pokémon was capable of, such as the ability to walk through walls, to cast illusions that would deceive the human eye and to launch spectral projectiles that would harm those who came within touching distance.

“This is the mark of the Gastly Timo, it will give you powers beyond your wildest imagination. Use this gift to restore the balance. Walk through the wall and leave.”

Timo looked at the stone wall beside him. He knew that just yards away on the other side were the outer walls of the prison. He felt the cold stone beneath his palm and closed his eyes. The cool feeling spread across his hand and began to spread up his wrist, he opened his eyes again and saw that the majority of his arm was now inside the wall itself. For the first time in months, his conviction returned to fuel him and with a triumphant bound, he pushed himself through the wall and out of the prison.


Over a period of months, Timo’s strength returned to him. He was able to build himself back up again both physically and mentally, and with his new ghostly talents, he was able to acquire considerable financing to secure himself a place from which he could plan strikes against the regime, and against those who had betrayed him. Maria had turned against Timo and Der Strichgegener, providing key information to the authorities and acting as a witness in the 1 public trial that actually occurred. Because of her actions the leader of the movement, Florian Klopp, was given a public execution as a warning to the citizens of the Third Reich that any dissent against the authorities would be appropriately punished. The remaining members of the movement who had been detained were not given public trials and were merely thrown into cells as Timo was, stripped of their possessions and their spirit.

With his new found wealth and abilities, Timo had acquired an apartment block in Wilmersdorf, Southwest Berlin, in the vicinity of the state-run swimming pool complex. His hair had struggled to grow back, so he spent the majority of his time hooded, the purple cowl covering his face adequately to disguise him from the authorities. No official statement had ever been made of his escape, naturally this was something that the government wished to keep a secret, but privately it was said by those in the civil service that the regime were furious, and that the Justice minister’s recent ‘heart attack’ was no coincidence. He was certain that they would be looking for him, so did his best to disguise himself. A sleeve tattoo rose from his right hand up to the shoulder to make the mark of the Gastly less conspicuous. He wore dark jeans in tandem with his purple hooded sweatshirt in accordance with the colours of Gastly.

The desk in his study was a smorgasbord of paper as detailed architect drawings of the floor plans of government buildings spread themselves across the table. The grand council meeting was to be held in just 3 nights, and he planned on making a statement. Hitler would be there, as would Göring, Hess and Bormann, the four horsemen of the Nazi Party, successors to their fathers and every bit as vicious, ruthless and thoroughly despicable. The gift that I presented him with would allow him to infiltrate the complex and cause complete chaos, perfect for puncturing the party’s propaganda and potentially permanently providing a change in course for the country.

The meeting was being held in the upper halls of the Reichstag, rebuilt after the fire of 1933 and more opulent than before, it was the shining jewel in the centre of the crown of the Third Reich. Timo’s plan was simple, he was going to take the most direct route there and deal with the consequences of his actions on the fly. There was no exit strategy as he was fully aware that this may well be a suicide mission. He may have a spectral form, but he was still mortal, and bullets move faster than men.

Before he departed for what may well be his final mission, he decided to take a visit to Maria, to enact his first justice. The night sky was fading into a cool navy, the clouds had dissolved during the day and the stars were beginning to glimmer. She still lived in that same apartment block that had caused his transformation, the pristine white exterior walls almost glowed golden in the pale fluorescence of the amber streetlights. He wouldn’t have to buzz up to her this time, he had a much more personal impression to make. He phased through the front door of the building and began to climb those familiar stairs, the last time he had been on them he was unconscious with a sack placed over his head, carried by two agents of the state. To him the time it took to ascend the three flights disappeared in an instant, adrenaline was coursing through his veins, fuelling his desire for revenge against her.

Thoughts were racing through Timo’s brain as he stood outside Maria’s door. In hindsight she had provided him with the greatest gift that arguably anyone had ever received, but the intent was not there. Her intent was… What? Greed? Dedication to the state? Fear? He had to know. He reached a hand out to knock on her door and paused, he realised that this would alert her and allow her time to prepare. There was the possibility she was not alone. He had to use his element of surprise.

Timo silently walked through her door and found Maria slumped on the settee with a bottle of vodka in hand. Her strawberry blonde hair was matted, as though it had not been washed in days, her emerald eyes were bloodshot with great bags beneath them. She wore just some flannel trousers and a bra, nothing else. Her feet and the majority of her upper body were bare. Her head turned to see what the glimpse in the corner of her eye was, and upon seeing Timo she began to laugh.

“Warum ? Warum Maria ? Warum hast du mich verraten?“ Timo asked, wishing to know the cause of her betrayal. She emptied the bottle down her throat and cackled towards him.

“Du bist nicht hier. Sie sind nur ein weiterer Alptraum. Ein weiterer Grund, um zu trinken.“ He wasn’t real, just a nightmare, another reason to drink. She thought the alcohol would dumb the pain inside her. Timo realised she wasn’t to blame for what had happened to him, she had been manipulated. She had still caused him a great deal of pain though, and that needed to be avenged. Yet at the same time, she was crying out for help and nobody was listening, so he could always do something about that.

Timo silently brought his right hand to his lips and spoke into the mark of the Gastly. Apparitions of himself began to fill the room, with his face replaced by those of a Gastly. In each vision his blue eyes were replaced by the jet black pupils and triangular eye shape, his mouth had expanded and great fangs grew, producing a villanous and slightly cartoonish grin. The visions surrounded Maria and began asking her questions, shouting at her. If anyone had walked into the room at that moment, all they would have seen would be a half naked woman on the floor crying with a bottle in her hand. He launched a shadow ball at the lamp on her table and turned towards her.

“Es tut mir leid Maria.“

He apologised moments before he launched a shadow ball through the window and floated down to the street level. The noise of the breaking glass alerted her neighbours who called for an Ambulance. She was immediately taken to a mental institution outside Brandenburg in order to get clean and to clear her of the ‘visions‘ she was now experiencing.



Two nights later, Timo was in his home, the final preparations complete. Maria was getting the help she needed, and now it was time for him to get what he needed, what his country needed, what the world needed. The end of the party, and the restoration of the monarchy. With the impending deaths of four of the most powerful men in the Reich, there would be an immense power vacuum that someone with an intense hatred for the party, with the right bloodline could occupy. In Timo’s eyes, that man was Louis Ferdinand Hohenzollern, a man whom he had met on occasion at meetings of Der Strichgegener, but was not officially affiliated with the group. He was the great-grandson of Kaiser Wilhelm, and admittedly now old at the age of 74, but he had the right temperament to smooth the transition from Dictatorship back to Monarchy, even if there had to be some concessions, such as a federal government serving the Kaiser.

The journey from his home to the Reichstag was not a long one, only seven kilometres, but with security heightened for the meeting, he knew that travel would be difficult. Driving would be impossible with the roadblocks around the vicinity, and public transport posed the risk of being exposed by an undercover agent on the same Strassebahn. He would have to resort to the rather more impractical method of walking, and find a way to scale the roadblocks. He could not make himself truly invisible, much to his dismay. His best plan was to head to the Tiergarten and make his way on foot over the last couple of kilometres to the Reichstag. There would be fewer patrols, but also fewer crowds to blend into. The dusk would help him however. He could tint his skin as though he were a Gastly, although it did provide the unusual side effect of surrounding him with a purple haze.

It took around an hour to reach the centre of the Tiergarten, with the Reichstag now firmly in Timo’s sight. There were irregular patrols around the area, but no checkpoints had been set up, as though the regime had not thought that anyone would dare to enter the building from the ground. Timo ran silently along the paths, crouching down to reduce the chance of being seen. His dark attire blended well with the shrubbery in the reduced light. The patrols did not seem to be very frequent along the paths that he was taking, which allowed him to reach the walls of the Reichstag in a relatively short amount of time. He knew that the meeting was taking place in the largest room of the upper floors, the same room that the German Parliament meets in during your timeline beneath a spectacular dome. That dome was never built in his world, as Germany was neither split nor reunified.
Timo entered the building through a window, that was naturally unopened, and headed towards the elevator shaft that lead directly to the top floor. This was one of the few doors he had to wait for, as he couldn’t risk walking into an open shaft and falling to his death. He prepared a shadow ball in his fist in case anyone was inside the elevator when the door opened.

The bell chimed to signal it’s arrival at the floor, time slowed down. Timo took a deep breath as the doors parted like a yawning lion. Relief, it was empty. He quickly slid into the elevator and selected his floor at the same time as pressing the button to close the doors behind him. The Shadow Ball remained poised in his hand for just in case. He was only yards away from the meeting as the doors of the elevator opened. He could see the room ahead, with two guards poised outside the egress.

The guard on his left was half asleep, glasses almost falling from his rounded face as his head had slumped slightly due to being tired towards the end of an 8 hour shift. He was clad in the pristine grey uniform of the party with the swastika wristband around his right arm. The guard on the other side was alert however, with jet black hair and a pencil thin moustache. Timo launched the shadow ball at his chest, before creating a second to aim at the snoozing sentinel. By the time the second knew what was coming, it was too late for him to escape the impact. The two bodies lay motionless on the ground, the shadow balls made no visible impression upon the skin, but caused immense cerebral haemmoraging that had rendered the defenders of the four men inside the room completely redundant.

Timo phased through the door and came face to face with the four most powerful people in the nation. They were hunched around a desk, deep in furious debate about how to deal with the potential uprising in France, apparently the Parisians waned their independance back and were forming a resistance of their own. Hitler could be overheard chuckling to his compatriots.

“Genau wie die Strichgegener nehme ich an? Denken Sie daran, was mit ihnen passiert ?“ he fondly recalled the downfall of the resistance with Germany itself. He looked up to see blank faces from Hess & Bormann. Completely blank. Timo’s fists were embedded directly in their skulls. Their deaths were instant and painless. He opened his mouth to call for help, but could only watch as a Shadow Ball seeming launched itself from inside Bormann’s face directly into Göring. Timo pulled his blood soaked hands from the crania and pointed them at the Führer.

“Es wird keine Vergebung. Ihre Existenz ist böse . Es muss ausgeglichen sein. Ich werde Gleichgewicht in diese Welt zu bringen. Auf Wiedersehen.”

There would be no forgiveness, there must be balance. Timo’s hands glowed as his skin darkened to black. A purple haze surrounded his body as he screamed. There would be no apologies.


I observed this final act myself, hidden in that room. Four of those men never heard my voice. None ever saw my true face. I am the Watcher, and balance will always be restored.

Spoiler

Target Mon: Gastly
Rank: Hard (20-30k)
Char Count: 20,446
Notes: Longest story I've ever posted! FMPOV, the 'main' character is the watcher, not Timo, but a grader may disagree. It's kinda like a blend of alternate World War 2 history theories and Dishonored. And the Watcher is definitely not The Outsider...

 

@Vultan;

Post your WaR prompt in this thread & I'll grade this. I don't feel like digging for it. I'm a grader, not a searcher, dammit. >:c

Grade will be up by Wednesday or sooner, depending on when you post your prompt.

 

@Felly;

I be silly goose. Not as much as you are a lazy goose for not reading your own roll, but still.

Action, Alternate Universe, ???

 

Welp, today's Wednesday, so it's only fitting that I post the grade today.

Story Stuff
Alright, so I tried something a little different with this grade than I normally do. No, it was not the long ass wait, before you ask. That was actually mildly unintentional, but that's besides the point. What I actually did do was put the story into a Word document (and saved it onto my computer), partially because BMGf had been down for so long and I figured it would be safer on my computer in case BMGf went down again and I had time to grade it, I would actually have access to the story without having to contact you for a copy or a heavily encouraged repost on PWN, and partially because I wanted to try something new involving marking comments as I read the story. I think it worked nicely, but of course, yours was the first story I did it on, so we'll see how it continues to work (or not work) in the future as I grade more stories.

That said, the vast majority of my comments were in the other sections, detail and grammar, so the "story stuff" is going to be relatively short today, I'm sorry. I thought the story was pretty nice, and I liked it. However, I think the usage of German kinda hurt it. It's not that using the foreign language is bad; I'm not in a place to say that it is because of how I've used a foreign language in another story. It's that aside from one specific line in the story, I didn't really have an idea of what the characters were saying to each other when they spoke to each other. I wasn't really concerned about the names of places because of course those would be in German, and while a translation would've been cool and a nice character count booster, I didn't really find it overly necessary. It was mainly the dialogue that got me.

“Es tut mir leid.”

I was able to infer that the above line of dialogue meant "I'm sorry" based on the fact that you said it literally right after. The other lines of dialogue? No clue. No freakin' clue. I would have to whip out the Google Translate to be able to figure out what that meant. I think a translation at the end of the story in a spoiler would've been helpful. I would've had to go and look up what the phrases meant in order to understand, but I would've rather had that than to not understand what was being said at all.

That was pretty much the only negative point I had for you towards your story, so I'm gonna go ahead and move right into detail and grammar.

Detail Stuff
Most of the detail was pretty good, but there's one thing that kinda bothered me that I want to point out and another thing that I just want to throw at you as a piece of advice for future stories.

Alright, so this is where the Watcher first pops up and Timo meets him. Given his odd form, Timo is naturally freaked the fuck out by it, for lack of a better phrase. But then the Watcher says "hey, this is who I am, I'm gonna be a bro and help you out, hold out your hand." And without hesitation, Timo holds his hand out for the Watcher. He's freaked out by this guy, and yet he'll hold his hand out for the guy without any hesitation or any questioning whatsoever. That seems kinda weird to me. Why was he so terrified by this guy and then so willing to accept his help without hesitation?

This is where the Watcher basically explains Timo's powers that he's just received. I'm throwing this in as a bit of advice, so do with it as you will. My advice for you here is that instead of having the Watcher explain Timo's powers right when he gets them, show the powers being used. You show them after the fact, which is cool, but I think just showing them instead of showing and telling them.

Grammar Stuff
Alright, so my main thing here is proofread. Read it over because a lot of the things I saw were things that could be easily caught by reading over the story again. I'm not going to point those out because I trust you can find them on your own, and instead I'm going to point out the things that were more prominent in the things I saw.

This was one of the most common things that I had highlighted for review when looking this over. Numbers under 100 should be spelled out. The ampersand also shouldn't be used, and instead use the actual word that the symbol replaces. 2nd and 3rd should also be spelled out.

Another thing I noticed was sentence structure, but that could also be remedied with a read over of the story. If you want me to point them out though, I can, but I don't think it's really necessary for me to point out here.

Decision Stuff + Length
Your character count, by my count, is 20509. You're just within the recommended range of a Hard ranked Pokemon. I do think Timo is the main character, by the way. I feel like the Watcher acts as a sort of narrator, but I kinda feel like he's a bit of an overpowering narrator, if that makes sense. He does a lot of the telling, which is fine in some cases because it would be hard to show the historical context of the story and much easier to just tell it, but in other cases, it would've been easier to just allow Timo to show the reader what was going on rather than having the Watcher explain everything. Hopefully that all makes sense.

That said, while there were issues with the narration and the German and the grammar and the detail, I think that the story itself was enough to warrant you a pass. It's not every day you see a twist on World War 2 in URPG. I also would feel kinda guilty to take this long to give you a grade (especially when I said I would have the grade up just over three months ago) and then fail you and make you fix it and then take another three months for something as simple as a regrade. (Not that it would take this long, but yeah.) Maybe this is the spirit of finals season and the spirit of the holidays kicking in, but be warned that I may not be this nice next time in a story of this rank. If you haven't figured it out already, I'm going ahead and saying Gastly is captured because I'm nice. I hope whoever gets this Pokemon is appreciative of their new basic since I know you're not keeping this since you were gifted a Gengar.

For your WaR grade, I'm gonna give you the following grades:
B+ in Action = It didn't really feel hella action-y. It felt more historical with some action-y stuff, but not enough to warrant an A.
A+ in Alternate Universe = I'm pretty sure there's no World War 2 in Pokemon yet. I'm also pretty sure there's no German equivalent in the Pokemon world yet, so there's that too.
F in ??? = Like I said above, I feel like Timo is the main character, not the Watcher. I said above the Watcher feels more like the narrator, and I don't really feel like he's the main character. Since Timo is more or less human with Gastly powers, he doesn't really fall under ???. I guess he'd fall under Pokemon and human, hybrid? Either way, he's not ???, so that's an F.

I'm going to go ahead and drop you just one rank though, so you can also claim a Medium ranked Pokemon in addition to your Gastly. At least you're able to claim this in time for gift station to pawn off to some random person? Unless you want the Medium, in which case take it. It's your Pokemon.