The TRIUMPH of the URPG

Spoiler

I love you URPG <333 also sorry I prolly screwed up at least 2,108,394 friend dynamics in this!! Also, giddy Chainy / Harry clapping / Dun stop believin' are references from the URPG Musical heuheu stop reading now before implosion and possible eye failure

Pokemon: Scolipede
Characters: ~41k

AKA URPAYG'$$$ V. VENIPAID



HAYYAY

dedicated to the URPG​

The day descended into a different dimension. A platinum shine subdued the softly retreating sunlight. In the middle of the lightscape, where sun and shine met and reflected a kaleidoscope of colors into the sky above, stood the URPG complex. Its structure today took the form of a glass mansion sitting atop a humming sea like a legendary trident thrust through water. Over the rainbow sky, enormous and profound creatures of flight swept into the dome of the mansion where epic battles were held. The birds held URPG trainers, who smiled at their water-bound friends below. The mansion stood at the intersection of three underground waterways that led to the metropolis of Bulbagarden, the highly-advanced tribal woodland of Petalburg Woods Network, and the thriving pony society of Pokémon Crossroads. The deserted yet beloved city of PokémonElite2000 sat beyond the sea, a standing memory of friendship and origin.

Fifteen years ago, the URPG complex was built by the mighty dreams of just a few talented friends. It was erected in the honor of the Pokémon masters of old and new, for the love of all friends and their aspirations. Its form changes every few years and the sea it sits on bends and declines, gently bringing new players to the shore and providing a way for other players to always return. Its monumental excellence seems to bend the light around it, removing the eye strains for players caused by overexposure to being online. Paperwork thrown out of the windows vanishes into the sea forever, the calming air opening the minds of people within.

The toll of school bells decrescendos into the sound of summer, which sounds a little like Swiftie saying, “Hey guys, can you help me strap into my Gallade costume? Just wait until my date sees this!”

Applause followed as a few URPGers helped their friend into his fancy nightwear.

“Dude, rad!” Commander Badass exclaimed as he beheld his young apprentice. The badass himself had on a ProtoAerodactyl suit. He screamed his AERO mating call before flying away to his gorgeous girlfriend who was a complete Babe.

“I approve,” Ash K. said as he adjusted his Kanto hat. He had not yet dressed up as Gallade for Knitty… Yet.

“Hi~,” Fellykins said as she strolled in, her hair blowing like a goddess. She had returned from guiding a trainer through the National Park, and welcomed a break with her fellow URPGes. Her face contorted into horror when she beheld not Swiftie, not what he was wearing, but the thing that was wearing him!

“Swiftie, what the hell is on your back?!” she exclaimed. Everyone turned to face Swiftie, who gave a yelp of surprise and whirled around. Clinging onto the seagreen Gallade suit he wore was a little itty bitty red baby! – Err, more precisely, a red beetle-like Pokémon with an enlarged throrax and head turned towards the party. Its green midsection wiggled joyously, four pairs of little legs squirming this way and that on Swiftie’s back. Two yellow eyes looked like two twin moons.

“heya derr! i want jeww 2 be my wife,” the little Venipede sang, its voice like a squishy ball that bounced off the glass walls. Its eyes closed contentedly as it rubbed itself all over Swiftie’s back.

“Omg, Zak turned into a Venipede!” Fellykins exclaimed, looking all around for signs of the macho man. Instead, she only saw a Swiftie who began slightly panicking. Ash K. tried to soothe him with his deep calming voice, but instead Swiftie began running through the giant mansion. He hoped to desperately shake the giggling fiend off him, and ran across the halls at lightning speed –

“Wow, so much exercise! I hope he’s hungry!” Bluey said as he walked in, holding a five-course meal in his arms. The aroma of well-seasoned lamb wafted through the URPG lounge, bringing down other hungry players.

Siless walked in with his buff arms outstretched. “Hiya there!” Cats said, tucked away in his arms, tossing a softball back and forth. Accidentally, she missed her softball and hit the returning Swifite right on his head!

“I think,” Swiftie started, huffing and puffing, “that I’m going to make a thread in the Trainer’s…” he panted wildly, his ribcage puffing in and out,” … Court, for URPG trainer abuse.”

Cats began apologizing but was cut off by the sounds of the ceiling shattering. The rain of glass shards pelting the ground became obscured by a plume of smoke that came from the blue fire of a mythical dragon. Writhing shades of blue and black scales glimmered like an iron sea, a roar of a tumultuous beast breaking against everyone’s eardrums. The dragon eventually settled to the ground, its great jaw a graveyard for annihilated foes. It held a Monbrey on top of it.

“No, no you’re not,” Monbrey said coolly. “That’s a terrible idea for many reasons.”

Swiftie HMPHED before pointing towards the Venipede that was now enjoying the meal Bluey had cooked! A squeal of enjoyment followed long, Miltank-like chewing sounds.

“weeee! u are the best cook in da world!!” Before everyone’s eyes, the Venipede began growing in size! A rainbow-light surrounded it as it expanded a foot all around. Its light giggling descended into a deep baritone that seemed to slow down time itself.

“Hm, an adorable creature,” the ever-patient Bluey pleasantly said. “Might need to get him looked at by park rangers, or anybody who would know where it came from.” He nodded twice.

“I’m a ranger, but I’ve never seen anything like this before,” Fellykins said, her voice taking on the tone of Ashleigh Martin’s. “We might have to go to the Head Rangers for this.”

“Or we could kill it with fire,” Monbrey said, a devilish grin spreading across his face.

Those words summoned shadows. A corner of a wall concealed in darkness a shade off from its surroundings broke in two, a grey block morphing into a muscled wolf with a scythe jutting from its head. Enormous paws slipped this way and that on the glass surface, the Absol’s black face sticking out against snow-white tufts of fur.

Atop her Absol, Elysia smiled so brightly the sun arose within her.

“Uhh, guys,” Swiftie said uncomfortably as the Absol and Charizard began charging their Godzilla-esque Flamethrowers. The Venipede had found its way back into Swiftie’s arms, muttering happily about Swiftie being his wife.

“Oh uhm, yeah, maybe you should see the rangers then.” Monbrey looked disappointed. Elysia sunk back into the shadows.

Ash thought a mile a minute as he turned to Monbrey, wondering if the URPG calc could be tweaked to weaken the beast. The specifics of the conversation turned into math jargon nobody else quite understood. The URPGer’s play proceeded, with Cats tossing her softball to Fellykins and Fellykins throwing it to Bluey. Siless smiled and joined in. Darkness found his way into the URPG lounge, his children, angels on earth, following behind him. PrinceVultan came in with blood pudding for everyone!

Swiftie sighed contentedly, the Venipede still in his arms. With the back of his Gallade costume scratched in multiple places and his legs on fire, he began trekking towards the Ranger Headquarters. He treaded on walkways where the glass was fashioned into tile, rows of white-red stained glass turning upwards towards massive staircases. He muttered something about hating to be the protagonist, looking through the glass absently and reflecting on the undulations of water. The setting sun lay its body across the water in pink and purple curves, never to sink and leave the URPG in darkness. The sweet creature in Swiftie’s arms may have grown another foot all around, but the strong Swiftie had not noticed in his reflections.

Swiftie heard the sound of pencils scribbling across a wall. Curious, he turned onto a grand hallway where the glass walls were replaced with paper. He cautiously walked across the billowing paper bridge that connected the fourth floor to the Art hall of the mansion. Fifteen-foot walls were covered in murals, the whole space a giant canvas for the artists who lived within. Huge white slabs distorted the space, leading to the little nooks and crannies of the artistic heart.

“Whoa, cool!” Swiftie said, Venipede in arms, as he walked sideways and then upside down on one of the slabs. He was laughing at the way the world was suspended in an assortment of a thousand different alleys, like he found himself in an Escher painting. He admired one of the newest submissions, his heart growing with anticipation over curating it.

“Cool, right?” a voice said among the strokes of paintbrushes on the other side. “This one will get a 40/100, so it definitely passes.”

Elamite wore high-definition spectacles that let him examine the artwork in detail. Extending his arms outwards, he expanded the slab before him and turned it on its side for more clarity.

“What’s that thing you got with you,” he absently asked without looking at Swiftie. “Does it need to be curated?”

“Uhhh, not quite… Well actually, I’m not sure if it came from here or not.”

Swiftie looked upwards. The cries of Pokémon came out of nowhere, like little babies born on a good day. Up there, Axion worked on a complex 3-D modeling machine. He too was suspended sideways, a few Magnet-like creature floating around him in rhythmic pattern. The whole place seemed to Swiftie like one big, artistic design.

“Yeah! And then me and this girl...” Alonzo narrated from above, his happy voice booming across the white walls at different intervals. He was a one-eyed guy with a huge smile. Nitro replied with something sarcastically, and the two laughed again. The bromantically involved brothers often liked to troll each other, and Alonzo pushed Nitro off the ledge of one of the slabs. He was going down; he was yelling, “TIMBEEEER!”

“Hmm yeah,” Elamite gently murmured. “Bring it back here if it did come from here after all. Someone will claim it eventually.”

Swiftie agreed and began making his way out of the Art hall when he noticed the Venipede now had a monocle! A well-embroidered Victorian hat and cane were equipped on the Venipede, who continued giggling to itself.

“Hey! Where’d you get that from? And where can I get one?” Swiftie asked as he began walking out. Gun6 walked by with a huge pencil and a crooked grin.
-
“Da URPG art section is da best!!” Venipede exclaimed, adjusting his tophat.

“Yeah calm down,” Swiftie said to the creature. “We’re going to see if the Story section maybe created you. And then we’ll head up to the rangers.”

Swiftie followed the tantalizing scent of coffee towards another staircase that doubled as a bookcase. Crammed across a hundred rows were books, the ancient stories URPGers had written and their corresponding grades. The moist, mildew scent of old pages had little Venipede sneezing. Swiftie cradled the creature in his arms, unconsciously inching towards the bookcase

“Hmm, How-To-Not-Suck-At-Battling by Monbrey.” He drew the maroon cover out, running a hand across the leather. With his massive strength, he cradled Venipede against his left arm and cracked open the spine of the book with another. Dust blew out of the pages, finally free, the prisoners of an ancient and eternal battle.

“Geez, no one’s read this at all! Look at all these people who try to snatch Sucker Punch!”

At that moment, the floor caved through! Swiftie screamed, hurling the book in one direction as he clutched Venipede tightly to his chest. The aperture of light slowly shrunk like he was being blinded by darkness as his body whorled through floors and floors; he felt a cold air seize him, dragging him further and further until all he felt was the dank darkness being replaced by a surreal sleep.

~*~

“Jesus kid, you’re not supposed to be the one falling through walls,” a soothing voice said to him. He felt his head being elevated by kind hands, his body cradled between someone’s warm and comforting Legs.

When he focused, he saw the darkened rims of eyes belonging to an oddly beautiful woman. Black bangs curved across her forehead like the wing of a pigeon frozen in its highest flight. She held a bubbling drink in her hand that she handed to him. He sniffed it, his eyes lolling in their sockets with its aromatic scent. The hands that lifted his head began kneading his hair, and he closed his eyes contentedly…

“Where am I? Is this URPG After Dark?” he asked, his voice barely a whisper.

“Baby, you’re right where you need to be,” a richly masculine voice whispered back. Swiftie’s eyes snapped open and he beheld the two muscled arms that held him in place. A handsome face grinned crookedly at him from above.

Swiftie screamed! Scrambling to his feet, he still managed to hold his drink in place like a pro.

“Dammit JOM,” Alaska muttered as she took the drink back from Swiftie. “We almost had him to... curate our art work.” She looked back at Swiftie, her eyes slightly rising. “You’re more than welcome here, man. You might want to take off your pants though. It’s a bottomless party.”

Without asking more, Swiftie stripped off his pants. His HelloKitty boxers received no judgment in the land of the ancients. Moving slowly across the polished wood floor, he took in the glass wall that showed the deep ocean floor. Tremendous creatures weaved in and out of the shifting waves, a prehistoric dragon-looking Pokémon with colossal fins flying through the water. Its roar shook the whole space, but not as much as the laugher from the inside. Next to the Gyarados, a few Ninja Turtles swam, drawn by a legendary artist.

An elaborate bar stood next to the glass wall, bathed in the warm light from above that illuminated glasses upon glasses. Fossil Fusion worked the counter, smiling, looking dashing in the button-up shirt tucked into his speedo. He handed a couple of trays of nachos to Roulette, who trekked back to his table with a huge grin on his face. He reached the low, circular table, where TED, Ebail, Xali, iReign, Stinky, and Haze sat like old buddies in a bar, laughing and making inappropriate gestures despite the current performance.

At the far edge of the room, a grandeur stage held Kat and Bryce. Kat played her flute, Bryce his guitar, and between them Jr. wildly sang the lyrics to Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing,” fist-pumping the whole time.

“What da hell,” Swiftie said as he took a seat at one of the tables. Pidge, WeTastePies, Marth, and SiberianTiger greeted him warmly, finding a good interruption from their heated discussion on the intricacies of battling. Jr, finished his song and stumbled down from the stage, placing his hands on Swiftie’s shoulders before sitting back down.

“GO KAI!” Alaska shouted as she pushed her friend up from another table. Kai muttered something darkly under her breath, not being able to retreat as Galleon and Scourge forced her onto the stage. The other graders at the table cheered, from the black, lean shadow known as NeighborhoodGuest to the man dressed in the chicken costume, MagikChicken. Sorocoroto sipped on his drink, lost in the vibe. Luciole said something encouragingly in French, dancing in his seat, already far gone. Buoy ate nachos off Luc’s head, twirling around in little circles all the while.

And then little Kai began rapping “Too Much Booty in the Pants,” causing the bar to erupt in applause and wild booty shaking. Through the chaos, Swiftie squinted and saw Venipede on the stage! The Pokémon stood upside down, twerking and receiving another explosion of applause.

“Hey!” Swiftie said, trying to get through the crowd of wild dancers to take back the Venipede. He was stopped by strong arms on his shoulders. He looked behind him to see JOM, followed by Derian and Kers.

“Hey man, be cool,” JOM said, wrapping his arms around Swiftie’s shoulders. “Let’s just see where this goes!”

And Swiftie started dancing too, popping up and down like Thugtrio as the ocean outside matured into midnight purple and black.

~*~

Swiftie awoke on the floor. He blinked twice, the filtered light from the ocean too bright. The bar, setting, and people had all disappeared, gone far too soon already. The immaculate floor smelled like lemons and he felt Venipede wriggling on his back, murmuring something happily.

“Geez, URPG in 2010 @[email protected],” Swiftie thought as he stood up. With one or two stumbles, he began walking normally again. He donned his Gallade pants before running up the tiny staircase that lead out of the hall that had once housed the URPG Musical.

“U dance so naise!!” Venipede exclaimed, squirming in his arms.

“That didn’t happen,” Swiftie quickly corrected. “None of that happened when we go up to Stories, ok?” The Venipede merely smiled back at him, swaying from side to side.

Swiftie followed the scent of fresh coffee until he reached the Story section. The circular room was surrounded by a tilted panoramic screen that flashed with scenes from the pure imagination of URPG storywriters. Jess stood next to CLC, showing visceral images on a part of the screen from her Monsters of the Machine. CLC nodded, taking notes that she pinned onto the storyboard next to her. Next, she showed Jess the vivid scenes from her own mind. Jess nodded appreciatively before Elysia, Queen of the Darkness, approached them both to brainstorm her next big story.

Swiftie smiled in greeting to the group as he walked along. In the center of the Story section, an enormous coffee machine stretched to the arched ceiling. The coffee machine had been a gift from the National Park, received when some legendary ranger discovered all the coffeebeans in existence. The coffee fueled the energy of the tireless writers, like NSFA, who sat at a Grader desk. A manuscript rolled onto the floor, a story for a Demanding-ranked Pokémon that she scrutinized. She wore special Grader glasses that caught little typos. She held a large pen in her hands, and when she finished writing her extensive critique, she stamped the manuscript with a large CAPTURED!

“Hey man,” a voice kindly said, snapping Swiftie out of his focus. A majestic lark transformed into a man holding another story to grade. Sky Lark looked at the creature in Swiftie’s arms, about to ask something when Swiftie spoke first.

“It’s a very long Story,” he started, “but do you know if anybody wrote for this ‘mon?”

Sky Lark analyzed the red beetle Pokémon for a moment. In the background, Muddy and Mow Wow chatted excitedly, making rainbows with their hands as they did so. In the far corner, VoltChen Magneton and Marius discussed a story intensely, their spoken words materializing on the panoramic behind them in brilliant fonts. Today, they were crafting a special Korean story, with Sehun as the main character set in a futuristic PWN dynasty. Soulmaster laughed as he read their story, an avid reader and frequent visitor to the Story section.

“Does it even belong to the URPG?” Sky Lark asked. Swiftie’s eye widened; he had not yet thought that amidst the pandemonium, and he had no idea what world if would have come from if it was not the vast world of URPG.

At that moment, the word TIMBEEEEER could be heard from afar! Nitro crashed into the Story Section from above, wearing his ranger gear like a boss. Clearing his throat, he took his newest story out of a pocket from his leather jacket and left it on a grader’s desk. He said something about the Story page taking a long time to load before Swiftie greeted him. Nitro grabbed them both a cup of coffee as he agreed to lead Swiftie up to the infamous Ranger Alliance.

Swiftie said bye to the graders, walking past the embellished oak desks where the Head Grader and Lead Grader usually sat. The trio walked to the end of a long hallway that eventually stopped entirely. An open door revealed the lush wildlife outside, supported by the life blood of the sea. Nothing remained out there but the thin air and a one-hundred foot drop into the wilderness; yet Nitro never stopped as he walked on, walking on air!

“Yeah, rangers are all creative and fearless,” Nitro said, ushering Swiftie onto the invisible bridge. Holding his breath, Swiftie tested the supposed bridge with one foot. The bridge gently rocked under his weight, a feeling without a sight to its source.

Nitro said bye to the duo, putting his ranger goggles on before diving spread-eagle over where the bridge’s handrails might have been. Swiftie watched the ranger’s silhouette shrink into a tiny dot. The ranger flew through the air with only a whipping sound as the wind rushed past. Down below, Nitro had found his newest trainer to escort through the park. Swiftie barely caught the sounds of affable greetings from down below, sounding from here like the smallest echoes in a cave.

Clearing his head, Swiftie walked on the invisible bridge, sucking in his breath every time the entire structure seemed about to fail. A spiral tower stood thirty meters before him, piercing the clouds and extending well into the Heavens. Venipede murmured something about flying, but Swiftie’s determination would not be interrupted. The cries of wild Park Pokémon broke against his senses but his train of focus remained on track.

Finally reaching the spiral tower, Swiftie exhaled. “Omg yay u did it!!” Venipede exclaimed, waving his stubby feet-things in the air. Swiftie high-fived him, huffing as he began the five-mile run up to the Head Ranger Headquarters. The air became thinner but the young hero huffed on with the endurance of an Olympian!

“Hmmm,” a rather large and well-built man said as he leaned back in his chair, nearly taking the leather piece of furniture down with him. Black spikes of hair shot savagely up into the air, accentuating eyes seemingly torn down the pupil with scars.

Next to him sat a beautiful Goddess clad in a Mamoswine’s fur, her frosted hair dripping with small snowflakes as she turned her head towards the man with mockery. She said something brilliant about rangery and ranger-esque business, causing the epic Automatan on the other side of the table to nod his head approvingly.

“Hey there Swift,” Akinai said as the wondrous trainer entered the elite Headquarters. Akinai was a ranger and a writer, her badass vests stocked with pens, paper, along with an array of ranger gear. A Flygon, an orange-and-tanned dragon with a mesmerizing triangle patters and a rattle for tail, slumbered cozily next to her.

“Hi!” Swiftie replied back, surveying the Ranger Headquarters. Sitting at the very peak of the tower, the Headquarters overlooked a blanket of white clouds rolled out far below. The sun shined nearly at level with the tower, its corona sizzling as if in warning for the Head Rangers to protect Mother Nature down below. Swiftie, panting, took a seat at the long wooden table. Venipede waved hi to everyone, drooling acidic saliva that melted tiny holes in the table.

“Hmmm,” Chainy ‘hmme’d’ again. “Bee, is that Venipede the child of any of your Pokémon?”

Bee had nearly completed the PokeDex, a distinguishable feat that he humbly kept to himself. In fact, his Pokémon were the ancestors to nearly all the Pokémon that roamed the dense region of the National Park. However, Bee would know any of his baby’s babies instantly, and shook his head ‘no’ with a mechanical swinging sound. He sat politely, putting an enormous hand reassuringly on Swiftie’s shoulder.

“Gah!” Swiftie put his head in his hands, not sure where the Pokémon came from or what to do with it now. Meanwhile, little Venipede crawled quickly towards the edge of the table where WinterVines calculated this week’s wages. To everyone’s surprise, Venipede began eating all of the wages!

“omg wow, wages so gud!!” The creature ravenously munched on the wages for the hardworking rangers, swallowing dollar bills whole! As it ate, the same rainbow light enveloped it until it grew as long as a door! The Ranger Alliance got to their feet, ready to battle the monstrous fiend. But as they reached for Pokeballs strapped onto heavy-duty ranger belts, two voices sounded from seemingly nowhere.

“You won’t be needing those,” a sleek voice belonging to a Weavile named Maxie said. The Pokémon burst through the window with sharpened claws; a screech, a yelp, and a gasp followed as the evil Pokémon snatched Venipede into its thin black arms. A crown of red feathers burst upward, matching the collar of velvet adorning its neck. A gold jewel was embedded in the forehead, a mesmerizing piece that captured everyone’s attention in a hypnotic moment.

“^,” Fawkes said, or rather pointed, in approval towards Maxie. No one could quite be sure; they saw that the human named Fawkes had on a pair of hipster glasses and a grumpy cat sprawled across his head. The evil trio seemed to blur dimensions with their presence!

“Take their Pokeballs,” second-in-command Maxie said to the henchman Tychiel, who had just then showed up. The “lazy henchmen” went by many names and many guises, but today he looked like Deadpool because Smiles told him to do so (and she loves him cause he actually did!). In slow motion, Maxie passed Tychiel the Pokebelts that he had stolen in just under a second.

“need moar wages to munch on!!” Venipede commanded in its gurgly voice. It threw its hands up in the hair, doing a mini-wave with a body that looked like a line of genetically overgrown raspberries bumping up and down.

And like that, the trio and the Venipede disappeared!

“We need to tell HKim!” Akinai exclaimed, gently nudging awake the Flygon that yawned spurts of smoke from its treacherous jaw.

“Geez! Why’d they have to take your Pokémon?!” Swiftie asked, bewildered, as the rangers came into character.

“Not all of them,” a smooth tone rolled out of nowhere. When Swiftie turned, he saw a woman with burning red hair tumbling down her shoulders. She plucked a secret Pokeball from beneath the table they sat at, throwing it into the air while exclaiming, “Come on out, Haji!”

“Yeah, rangers are always ready for this type of stuff,” a handsome dark prince said, transforming from his Transformer form. Like that, the rangers all held out their right fist and shouted, “RANGER ALLIANCE 5EVR!” Haji’s psychic power seized the group in a mauve light, carrying them straight through the glass window!

“What,” Swiftie asked as he wriggled in midair, not completely used to the power of the Ranger Alliance yet. Cold air intermingled with the call of Pokémon slapped him, invigorating him to fly through the vast land of the URPG! Down below, he heard the mighty roar of a Pokémon that shook Haji’s whiskers even up here. Swiftie’s eyes widened when he beheld a gargantuan dragon thrashing about in the air, its scale coat as sleek as a sheet of gold. The Dragonite, with two antennas, clutched a trainer in arms the size of tree trunks!

“KAMEHAMEHA!”

Light shot across the land as a canon of blue madness bulleted towards the outraging Pokémon. An extremely well-built man put two “left” hands together with fingers outstretched, trembling slightly at the power that had just left him. Orange robes cloaked him, snug boots upon his feet, and wristbands added to the image of the most epic fictional character ever. Thick black hair swayed gently in the breeze.

“Good work, Ranger Eric!” Ranger Ivy shouted towards him as he glided through the air on nimbus. He flew towards the defeated Pokémon, grabbing the Dragonite in one hand, the saved trainer in the other.

“No problem,” Ebail replied with a smile. He gave a polite wave towards the whole group before beginning the descent towards the ground like a man sliding downward on a rainbow.

“Hey look, a Gym Leader battle!” Ranger Dylan said giddily as they floated past the battle dome of the URPG mansion.

A mountain of metal skidded across the glass walls at an impossible speed. Four enormous sledgehammer arms sprouted metal claws sharper than diamond as they prowled across the glass. An “X” scarred the middle of the Pokémon’s face, crisscrossing deep-set red eyes.

Facing across the Mega Metagross, a vile crusader cut through the air with pincers. The flying-Scorpion Pokémon unfurled its black cape as it readied its next attack, poising the lethal stinger on its tail.

“Mega Metagross in! Gliscor in at 100%! Send moves!” Hannah called from the middle of the battlefield. At the edges of the rectangular field bisected by an outline of a Pokeball, GliscorMan and Neonsands glared at each other. They seemed as in-sync as their opposing Pokémon were, a battle made of metal music. Not another second passed before both trainers sent their moves and the battle continued.

“We’re flying past the Trainer’s Court now,” Ranger Ivy said in her focused voice. “After we cruise past this, we’ll be in the Marketplace. That’s usually where Harry’s office is.”

Swiftie nodded, somersaulting in midair to get a better perspective of the happenings in the Trainer’s Court. He saw another version of himself down there with multiple other URPGers, avidly arguing for better clauses or new techniques to be implemented in the URPG. The court was edged with palm trees; the light of the sun hit the room in a way that shined upon ideas. He saw a wondrous gentleman named Greg and his piano, alongside a monkey holding a huge block of cheese and pointing at a delicate poster board. Poll booths were situated throughout the room, alongside pedestals for URPGers to advocate their ideas from.

“Ah, here!” Ranger Akinai pointed towards the bustling Marketplace of the URPG mansion. Ranger Ivy grinned as Haji set them peacefully upon the ground. Ranger Jerome flexed his muscles, feeling refreshed by the psychic capabilities of Haji!

Swiftie jumped up and down, matching the energy of the PokeMart nearby. Officials sat behind granite countertops, mile-high shelves filled with Pokémon goodies above them. Little Fairy-Type Pokémon happily chirped away as they flitted up and down the wall, grabbing the items the trainers down below ordered. From PokeBalls filled with new Pokémon to battling items, the PokeMart had it all! To either side of the PokeMart, the heads of the URPG sections set up a booth where they distributed wages. All throughout the Marketplace, URPG trainers of all levels of skill walked around happily!

“HKim should know what to do about this wage-eating Venipede,” Ranger Ivy said, The jangling of Pokemonies all around slightly blurred her voice. “We’ll leave it to you to find out. As Rangers, we’ve got to stay alert and protect the people from Venipede, wherever he may be now.”

Ranger Ivy saw the disconcerted look on Swiftie’s face, and smiled warmly back at him. “Take this Ranger transmitter, and call us when you find out what Harry knows about this.” Holding out the sleek, circular device with the words Ranger Alliance inscribed in gold at the side, Ranger Ivy turned towards the other rangers. “Let’s head out!” Swiftie took the device, honored to be a part of the Ranger Alliance, and watched the rangers fly off again.

Motivated, Swiftie began making his way through the Marketplace. Kantomaster walked past with a huge cone of cotton candy, looking happier than a kid at a county fair. His beloved Butterfree and flying Pikachu strode alongside him, just one of many sets of jubilant Pokemon pals at the market today. Swiftie wanted to collect his hard-earned referee wages, but steeled himself as he marched on towards the skyscraper in the middle of the market.

The silver-plated tower shined as if made from an ancient armor, with long vines trailing down it. As tall as the Mansion directly before it, it too shot into the clouds above and shimmied in the eternal light of the URPG. At its top, barely visible to the naked eye, a green bulb sprouted as a symbol for the constant growth of the URPG.

“Oh, hello,” a smooth voice kindly called out to the gawking Swiftie. He apologized briefly, getting so caught up in the magic of Headquarters Harry that he bumped into Ataro. The Elite Four member, so humble and powerful, gave Swiftie a sweet smile.

“Congratulations on Senior Ref!” he called out behind him. He wanted to talk longer with Swiftie, but had yet another ambitious trainer who wanted to claim victory over him.

“Thanks!” Swiftie said, before turning around and entering Harry Headquarters. Among the modernly decorated space, Committees ate lunch together. The savory smells of pasta, salad, and more delicious food Felly described wafted along the first floor. The Committees’ work was drafted among huge chalkboards. They were leading the way towards a brighter URPG day, and Swiftie greeted all the members warmly. He continued his quest.

Little Bulbasaur-cherubs cried out happily to Swiftie as he entered the elevator. They played string instruments in their tiny paws, gliding along in the air with their wings. Their heavenly music transitioned into the My Little Pony theme song, and Swiftie knew he had reached the top of the tower.

“Hello, friend!” a kind voice greeted. The sound of Harry’s voice shook the ground slightly, and up sprouted little dancing flowers. “Sorry about the trek up to the top. It’s the only place I have a good connection.” He sighed, cursing wobbly Internet setups.

The Head of the URPG wore a well-fitted tuxedo yet still managed to create a friendly environment with his presence. Swiftie sat down casually across from him, admiring the fancy pen collection gifted upon Harry by URPGers of the past.

“There’s this Venipede-thing wandering around the URPG, eating wages,” Swiftie said, “and he’s wearing a top-hat made by Gun6 and I didn’t get one. AND he’s making people evil!”

“Hmm… This is quite the worrying situation. URPG maintains a formal alliance with the Scolipede nation, which is a highly-intelligent and peaceful society in the south of here. I’m not sure if they know about this evil bug in the system, as it certainly doesn’t belong to us.” Harry, with a deeply pensive expression, thanked Swiftie for coming all the way to the Tower to report the situation. A moment of silence passed before Harry came up with a solution.

“Why not settle this old school, by battling the creature?” Harry’s eyed widened. “Perhaps in an FFA?”

Swiftie brightened in realization. Before he could respond however, his Ranger receiver began buzzing. He excused himself with an apologetic wave of his hand, answering the receiver. WinterVines’ voice came over the receiver, as clear as if she also sat in the room with them.

“Swift, we have a situation. The Venipede’s not just eating wages now, but he’s literally eating away people’s creativity too. Whole pages of Stories are vanishing out of the Story Section; Park runs are being abandoned! The Art section is dying!”

“NO, not the Art Section!” Swiftie exclaimed, jumping out of his seat. “Harry gave me a good solution. There’s only one way to handle this now.” He breathed in deeply, aseembling a serious composure that transformed his Gallade costume into a silk suit. “Broadcast this over all the URPG chats!” He exhaled, ready for the biggest challenge ahead.

“FFA in [FFA]: URPG vs. the Venipede!”

A set of excited gasps came over the receiver. Harry clapped slowly.

~*~

“Oh boy,” Swiftie said to himself excitedly. He jumped up and down to calm his nerves, shaking the ref cage that suspended him above the battlefield dome. A myriad of holographic reffing calculators appeared in front of him, ready for him to implement the values of the thirty Pokémon and their trainers down below. This was the biggest FFA yet, and he felt sweat drops budding at the back of his neck. He earned the title of Senior Ref, and was ready to dominate!

Down below, URPGers and their Pokémon gathered behind mini doors, ready to charge the battlefield all at once! Among them, a Gyarados made of clay thrashed through the entrance to the FFA dome. The monstrous-mold masterpiece shot ice beams made out of stone that cleared its pathway. Ayotui grinned atop it.

A pink Rapidash, a unicorn with a spiraled horn sprouting from its forehead, trotted down the staircase. It roared happily, “BUSINESS BUSINESS BUSINESS!” in a Charlie voice while the Zolar on top of it followed by chanting, “EVERYTHING IS AWESOME!”

A legendary Arcanine followed on the staircase. The enormous tiger-like Pokémon gracefully slid down the steps, matching his trainer in beauty and grace. Hannah smiled as she entered the FFA dome, ready to own everything!

Stomping down the staircase, Vensaur roared in its deep baritone. It barely fit on the staircase with the flower blossoming atop its back and legs each like a 1,000-year-old tree stump. Airik whistled, sitting atop the Pokémon’s head.

Besty and his Flareon sprinted down the staircase, past the FFA dome, and towards the bathroom! He hoped he would make it back in time!

The elevator door opened.

Emma stepped out, high-fiving the Dunsparce curled across her shoulders like a shawl. The sleepy yellow-snake Pokémon opened its mouth in anticipation, seeping droplets of spit to the floor. Emma and her partner in crime would win this FFA, and everyone shook in excitement for the war ahead.

Gathered in the middle of the battlefield were the evil Venipede and its syndicate. Maxie, Tychiel, and Fawkes surrounded the Pokémon as bravely as they could in face of all the opposing trainers… Or rather, it seemed like Venipede surrounded them all! The evil Pokémon had grown even larger since the last time, and now towered over its evil peeps. Its top hat and monocle were sucked into bubbly layers of fat, but it held onto its cane with aplomb.

“wages plz!!” it commanded, receiving a thundering rumble of roars from all the Pokémon. Swiftie finished typing all the moves in for Turn One, and then officially began the FFA! Pokémon moves piled Venipede, surging towards the gang in a white-hued explosion of energy.

“WAIT!” a medieval Irish accent cried.

Synthesis, the tumblr warrior, flew into the FFA dome! Glass rained down as the warrior jumped right into the line of fire, his ancient tumblr sword rearing for the kill. He sliced the Venipede right in half! Purple blood arched across the dome, spraying the field with the gooey remains of the wage-hungry beast. Synthesis, clad in gold-plated armor and a fedora, rolled across the field and evaded the megapile of moves that was once aimed for the Venipede. He took down Maxie, Fawkes, and Tychiel with him, graciously saving the evil trio.

“Ha-ha! I’m here too!” Echo sang as he drifted downwards from the cracked top of the dome. The superhero apprentice helped his mentor back up, who panted with the effort of being awesome.

“I wonder if I can get a record for this FFA,” Swiftie thought to himself. The numbers on his holographic calculator projections smudged together due to an unheard of energy in the URPG. Undoing the lock on the referee cage, Swiftie jumped down to the battlefield to examine what was happening.

The air, ripe with the tang of Pecha berries, tingled with energy. Synthesis led Swiftie by the small of his back to the center of the slimy battlefield, where Venipede’s body was strewn into two bloody pieces. Electricity crackled from the still remains. In the middle of the split body, an orb of red and blue glistened.

Unfolding gently, the orb spread into a six-foot long body. Four thin legs poked out from beneath a grey underbelly. A vibrant red coating marked by blue circles made up the top half of the body, complete with spiked antenna and tail. The creature exhaled slowly, its knowing yellow eyes examining the URPGers who stood before it. When it was ready, it bowed before the two and the URPG as a whole.

“Thank you for freeing me from bondage, Swiftgallade46 and Synthesislol. My name is Marvin, Ruler of the Scolipede Nation.” Its words rolled out slowly and evenly, loud enough for all URPGers to hear.

“I apologize for the havoc Venipede spread across your nation. He is a Bug in the system, glitched by the Poison of the Internet. While your URPG or tumblr did not create the beast, he was fashioned from the pestilent thinking that’s been spreading across the URPG as of late. People have been discouraged from playing the wonderful game you play. People have lost touch with the magic friendship creates, with the love you all provide each other.”

Marvin breathed in deeply. “As such, he is the symbol of the negative energy chewing through the very threads of the URPG existence itself. He consumed me, hoping to take over the Scolipede Nation after the URPG, and then possibly tumblr. You may thank Synthesislol and his tumblr adventures for realizing I was a captive.”

“But how did you fit into Venipede,” Swiftie asked under his breath.

“Internet physics,” Marvin replied quickly before coughing. “Now that Venipede has been destroyed, your fellow players have been released from his evil. But be warned: Venipede will come again if the negative thinking continues. Fight off the evil by loving each other, enjoying the game you play together, and always finding strength in each other.”

At that moment, Marvin began sputtering. The time spent in Venipede’s poisonous insides took their toll on the majestic centipede. Harry flew across the battlefield atop his Braviary, dropping down at Marvin’s feet.

“Marvin! Are you ok?” he cried. The URPG as a whole gasped, hoping for the best for the Bug-Type Pokémon. After a moment, Marvin’s sputtering stopped.

“Oh hey, Poison-types can’t be poisoned!” he joyously said, all of his spikes twirling in happiness. “On with the FFA! I’ll take Echo as my Trainer!”

A boom of applause followed! And like that, the URPG triumphed over darkness once again! With their best friends at their sides, URPGers continued to play the bestest Pokémon game on the entire Internet. Though the times ahead may have differed from more familiar settings, the URPG continued to band together as one force and family, for now and ever.

FIN​

 

AHHHHHHH SMILESSS!!!!

I know I'm not a grader but this story is amazing ok.

Claiming.
OK, time for your grade.

Story/Plot/Characters/Setting/Blah

You did everything right. Congrats, you w0n the Story Section! (and all my hugs)

Arceus captured!!!!!

 

Claiming for a real grade. :0 Will probably be up tomorrow since I won't have much better to do during Geography besides read your much more entertaining story. :0

 

@Smiles; Here you go! Yay grades!

Introduction
I totally didn't almost forget that I'd grade this this week, whoops, nope, not at all. Weeeee~

BUT AHHH, A URPG STORY, YAY! I was actually pretty excited when it first came out, and I skimmed it then 'cause my attention span doesn't usually hold for super long stories unless I'm super focused on it or I know a distraction's gonna come. (Point in case, I was reading Sherlock Holmes earlier before I had to go to class, and my only warning that I'd need to finish getting ready to leave was boyfriend texting me after he got off work. :0) But then I reread it while I was in geography this week, because we don't really discuss much in that class anyways since I guess it's more of a teach yourself kinda class, and I liked it even more, yay! I like how you included all of the sections of URPG (except Contests because lol contests) and even gave us newer nubs an insight into 2010 URPG and the musical and whatnot. It was a super fun story to read, and I hope it was loads of fun writing!

Detail
Not much to complain about here~ You captured everyone's personalities pretty well, to be honest. You even used details about them and incorporated other aspects of their URPG lives into the story as well, like with me and my not so ranger character Ashleigh and Hannah and her reffing. (Though to be honest, that gave me an idea of maybe having Ashleigh be a ranger for a run instead of Aleria, who knows. :0) Even if the details weren't perfect, like in the case of me and my not so ranger character Ashleigh, it still worked out just fine!

Just a couple things caught my eye, so I'll go ahead and point them out since I feel like they're worth pointing out and that just actually bothered me a bit, I guess, for lack of a better phrasing.

In the two above quotes, it sounds like the Venipede evolves, first into Whirlipede when he eats Towelie's delicious food and again when the Venipede/Whirlipede eats the ranger wages. (Jerk bug. ;~; Eatin' mah wages.) But he's never actually referred to as either of its evolved forms, Whirlipede or Scolipede, yet it sounds like he evolved. He even retains his Venipede appearance despite evolving. To me, the flashes of rainbow light were evolution since it's described in a similar fashion in the anime and games, and maybe even the manga. (I wouldn't know about the manga though.)

It just confused me how the flashes of light changed Venipede's appearance, and you described it as such in the physical and vocal changes following the rainbow lights, yet it was always referred to as a Venipede. It was never explained why it was always described as a Venipede too. Surely someone would've caught on that Swifty was carrying a Whirlipede around instead of the Venipede he was asking about? Unless it always reverted back to the Venipede state and it was just never mentioned.

A bit of a minor detail here, I suppose, but something that caught my attention, so I figured it'd be worth mentioning. The whole Magnemite line are basically magnet like creatures. Maybe I'm just being picky, but I feel like maybe specifically mentioning what specific magnet like creatures are floating around Axion would be more beneficial than just magnet like creatures.

Grammar
Nothing super horrid to point out here. There may have been a missed comma, and you should've said creatures instead of creature in the last quote I used in the Detail section. It's nothing super horrid though. Only pointed out that creature vs creatures one since it's kinda right there in my face as I'm typing this grade. :0 But yeah, grammar's fine, moving on, nothing to see here.

Climax
The best URPG past time: FFAs. Speaking of which, I'm long overdue for hosting one, but I digress. Let's grade, and then we can think of fun FFA related things! I also like how there was the decline of the art section and how Swifty's disappointed that art would go down if Venipede got to keep rampaging like it was. xD And Harry's slow clap, oh gosh. It was an interesting twist to have Syn come flying in and defeating the evil Venipede with the swords, and I like how the Tumblr hero saves the villains.

And then at the end, we see the actual Scolipede emerge from the defeated Venipede's body. Which brings me back to my evolution thing. Was this an internal evolution that just wasn't reflected in the physical form of the Venipede or what? This gives a bit more insight into it, but it's still a bit confusing, I think. .-.

But other than that, it was a nice ending! FFAs are always good ways to end things! :0

Conclusion
Length is a nice 41773, which is just above the upper end of the recommended amount for a Complex ranked Pokemon. (On a related note, I actually had to look up what rank Scolipede was 'cause I'm not used to people writing for fully evolved Pokemon. I applaud you for that!!! GO SMILES!!!!!) So you're fine on length.

Overall, aside from the evolution detail thing that really caught my attention, the story itself worked out great! Nothing super bad to comment on here, so I'm going to go ahead and say that Scolipede is captured! Yay for bugs that have Speed Boost that don't really need it! :0 And yay for not needing to do basics! :0 Yay Scolipede!