The Odd One Out

In the deep underbrush of Hoenn, in the green lush forest of Petalburg Woods, there lives a very unique Pokemon by the name of Wurmple. Wurmple has a small body resembling that of a caterpillar, with a tan-colored underside and face, and a bright-red color across its back. Five sets of white feet exist on the Pokemon's underside that it uses to propel itself along the ground. The Pokemon also has a pair of yellow eyes with large, black irises on its head; and and a tall, bony spike at the top of its head. A row of smaller spikes travel down its back until it reaches a pair of bright-yellow stingers at the end of its body, and the Pokemon also has a similar yellow stinger on its forehead. This is the story of two normally ordinary Wurmples as their lives change forever.

In a secluded section of Petalburg Woods, there lived a small community of Wurmple. Their society was structured around two very-important ceremonies that were held once a year; the Age of Transformation, and the Age of Eminence. During each of the ceremonies, members of their community who reached their respective necessary ages for the yearly ceremony would drink sap from a special large tree that was left alone all other times of the year. The sap would cause those who drank to change form and become something entirely different from what they were before. One of the forms, a large white-colored round oval, was known as Silcoon; while the other possible form, a purple-colored object with spikes, was known as Cascoon. Over the last three generations of the Wurmple society, there had only been several Cascoons, with the vast majority of Wurmple's becoming Silcoons and eventually Beautiflys. This led to Cascoons being looked down upon by the community, and eventually any Wurmple who turned into a Cascoon simply left the village to avoid persecution.

Scott and Emma were two such Wurmple living in the community who were still considered adolescents by the society's standards, still being several months away from their Age of Transformation. The pair loved spending time together and playing with leaves of grass or with other friendly wild Pokemon that they came across. There were even people in both families that hoped that the two would develop a romantic relationship by the time of their Age of Transformation.

"Hey Emma," Scott yelled as he climbed her families' tree, "want to come down and play today?" Scott preferred to spend his time with Emma more than being with his own family. This at first caused some concern for his parents until they saw Emma felt the same way towards their son.

"Sure, Scott," Emma yelled as she slowly climbed down the tree to meet her friend half-way. "Let's go explore to the South today. I heard there's a really neat river that flows over there. We could always go for a swim if the current isn't too strong." Emma loved to explore, something which Scott only tolerated because of his friendship with the girl. If Scott could have his way, he would never leave the confines of the community at all.

"I guess we could go exploring," Scott replied as he descended with his friend. The trip to the stream lasted a quarter of the day, and when the two Wurmples arrived they were quite tired. When the stream had entered their field of view they quickened their pace so they could reach it even faster. Now tired from the excursion, the pair of Pokemon laid down next to the stream and got their tails wet, splashing around in the water to keep themselves cool.

Some time after they arrived at the stream, the pair of Wurmples heard a strange noise coming from off in the distance on the opposite side of the stream. The noise was unlike anything either of them had heard before, causing Emma to become very curious as to the cause. "C'mon Scott, let's go see what that noise is!" The female Wurmple urged, hoping to goad her friend into joining her. "I'm going to check it out, so unless you want to leave me all alone with whatever that thing is you'll come too!" She slowly started to move across the shallow stream, looking behind her to see if Scott would follow.

"Emma, you know how much I don't like going too far from home, but I guess I can go with you if you're so determined to go on your own. I wouldn't want you to end up hurt or anything, plus I'd have to explain to your parents why I let you go off on your own anyway." The young male Wurmple begrudgingly following his female friend across the stream and in the direction of the noise.

After several minutes of walking, the two friends witnessed a pecuilar sight. There were what looked like large creature walking around the forest, tearing up trees. The creature was bright-green in color, had small wings on its back and blades for hands. Behind the green creature stood another creature, who was white and had various other colors on their body and a yellow helmet on his head. From what the pair witnessed, the green creature was knocking down trees that the white creature was pointing at.

"What...what's going on, Emma?" Scott asked, frightened as to the origin of these strange creatures. "Have you ever seen or heard anything like this before? They're knocking down trees like they're nothing. Don't they know people like us live in those trees?"
Emma looked at her friend, worried. "No, these things are all new to me. I think we should go back and tell the Elder what is happening out here. This can't be good if they start to invade our land. Our community was planning to expand next year, but maybe we can't expand if they come and chop all the new trees down." The young girl turned towards her friend and the pair began to head home.

When the village elder listened to their retelling of events, he scoffed at their tale. The elder flew above the pair using his large black and yellow wings. "You mean to tell me you saw some type of creature destroying the forest? When I had your parents fly over there they reported seeing nothing out of the ordinary, and you both know we haven't normally scouted past the stream anyway. Did you two come up with this idea as some sort of joke right before your Age of Transformation? Because that's sure what it sounds like to me!" The large Beautifly turned his back on the small Wurmple and began to fly away.

Feeling rejected by the village elder, Scott and Emma began to climb down the elder's tree and back towards their respective homes. "I can't wait for my Time of Transformation," Scott exclaimed. "I'm gonna look so cool with that white-body. Then just three more years and I'll be flying just like my parents and Elder. Do you ever think about the change, Emma?"

"Not really," Emma replied casually. "I just want to do as much exploring as I can now before I actually have to have responsibilities. You remember we're supposed to choose a mate after our Age of Transformation, right? I don't know about you but I don't really know anyone I'm interested in. I'd rather just be single all my life then worry about raising babies, but tradition is tradition I guess." She paused for a moment and then turned towards Scott. "Do you ever worry you'll turn into the other thing? The one Elder talks about sometimes? That you'll turn all purple and have to leave the village because you're not like the rest of us?"

"I know I'm gonna turn white, Emma," Scott yelled playfully. "I can feel it inside, I'm gonna have black wings for sure!" The pair reached their homes and climbed up into their trees and slept on their branch with the rest of their family. The next several months until the annual Age of Transformation passed by without incident, with no one else sighting the mysterious creatures Scott and Emma described.

On the day of the Age of Transformation ceremony, Scott, Emma, and the rest of their peers who had turned seven since the last ceremony congregated at the base of the large tree, awaiting for their name to be called. One by one, Scott and Emma watched as ten other Wurmple climbed up the tree and drank the special sap and then climbed down, ready to transform. Each of them had changed into a bright-white color like the Elder said they would, and a few pairs even announced that they would be together. Second to last, Emma was called to undertake the ceremony.

As she climbed the tree, Scott watched with awe as she drank the sap and waited to see her transform. 'I'm next, I'm next,' he thought as he began to move towards the tree waiting for the elder to announce his name. When Emma climbed down, she too transformed into a glowing white color, and was then carried off by her parents to their tree. Scott then heard the elder call his name, and he quickly climbed the tree and began to drink the sap himself.

Bright-yellow sap filled the young Wurmple's mouth, and almost immediately he felt his body begin to change. He grew larger and he could feel his body becoming harder as well. All seemed well as he climbed down the tree, mid-transformation, until several on-lookers screamed and covered the eyes of their children. "What's wrong," Scott asked, feeling perplexed by their reaction.

"What's wrong is that you turned purple, Scott," the village elder yelled, "not white. You should know from the teachings that have been passed down by our ancestors that those who do not turn white are not welcome here in our village. I'll give you a few minutes to say goodbye to your family and then they'll have to carry you someplace far away from here."

Scott looked at his family shocked and scared. "Wait, so I turned into one of those...things? One of the unspeakable creatures that are forced out of the village?" Tears began to well in his eyes as his parents nodded their heads in confirmation. "Do I really have to leave here, Mom?" He asked, hoping that somehow an exception could be made.

"Yes son," his mother tearfully replied. "like Elder said, the rules and traditions of the village can't be changed, not even for you. Your Father and I will make a basket out of string and will carry you off somewhere North. According to legend there's a group of...people like you there. Maybe they could take you in and help you, but you can never return here after today." Scott's mother began to weave a silk basket with her mate, and then the pair picked up Scott and started to carry him away.

Scott was too surprised and shocked during the trip to say anything to his parents, as he continued to process the entire ceremony in his head. 'I can't believe I'm being forced out of my home,' he thought. 'I just wanted to spend my time with Emma and be happy. I thought perhaps we could even be together someday, but I know she'll never like me like this.' His thoughts were interrupted when his parents dropped the basket after a short trip through the air, and the pair flew back towards the village without saying another word.

Scott slowly looked upward and found a relatively high tree that looked like it would keep him warm from the cold wind. He spit a thread of heavy string out against the top branch and used it to pull himself up to a comfortable branch. He was unable to move much in his new form, the same as all Wurmple who underwent the Age of Transformation. After a few days, he was able to control his string to propel himself slightly from his home to a nearby tree. He spent the next three years moving back and forth, and scouring nearby food when he could from fallen leaves or eating the sap as nourishment.

One day, over three years since he was banished from the village, Scott felt an odd feeling coming from inside. His body expanded once more, changing proportions until he suddenly felt wings growing on his back. He smiled, as at first he thought he was gaining black wings like his parents and Elder; but soon he realized that his wings were green, and his body somewhat different than his parents. 'What am I,' he thought as he slowly tested his newly-gained wings. 'I guess this is what purples turn into instead of what my parents are. Seems pretty similar though.' After several weeks of flying around and testing his new body, he once again heard a loud noise that he hadn't heard in over three years coming from the direction of his village.

'Those people who cut down the trees past the stream, they're back. It seems like they're even closer to home now than they were before.' His heart sank as he thought of home, of what Emma must be doing now that she had undergone the Age of Eminence. 'She must have beautiful wings by now. I bet she already has a mate and kids too. I haven't seen anyone since I've been here besides the occasional flying creature way overhead, so I guess the rumors about that community of people like me wasn't true either.' He looked back towards the direction of his village as the sound intensified. 'I have to go see what's going on back there, rules or no rules. They can't exactly banish me from the village if the village doesn't exist anymore!'

His trip home completed several days, and by the time he reached the village several homes looked decimated. He flew down low and could see a white creature behind of two others; one being the green creature from before, and another new creature that was red and white. The red and white creature was shooting yellow bolts at any villagers that tried to stop the invaders, causing the defending people to fall to the ground unconscious. Scott saw his parents, Elder, and even Emma's parents slumped on the ground, unable to move or fly away. 'I got to help them,' Scott thought, and he swooped down and he concentrated on trying to defend his friends and family.

Suddenly, a purple beam shot out from his mouth towards the invaders, a move that they seemingly did not expect as they recoiled for a moment before the ball creature shot bolts in Scott's direction. As if by instinct, a barrier appeared between Scott and the harmful attack, protecting the would-be savior from harm. Scott concentrated again and he felt his eyes change somehow. A bright purple light enveloped the invaders, and Scott wished that they would just leave him and his village alone. The trio of creatures began to rise in the air, and then he thought about sending them flying far away from his home. They continued to rise higher until they reached above the treetops, and then they all shot out in different directions moving further than Scott could see with his eyes. He then moved in towards the ground, nudging his parents and Elder with his wings until they began to wake-up.

"What happened," Elder asked as he came to. When he saw Scott he recoiled and began to yell. "You know you weren't supposed to come back here, why have you returned? We were defending the village after sending most of the village away to keep them safe from whatever those things were. For all I know you were the one who told them of our location!" Elder looked furiously at Scott, as if he was about to attack the young man.

"Elder, those creatures were the same ones that I told you about many years ago, remember. You didn't believe me then and chose not to take precautions against these invaders. I heard the noises that they were making cutting down trees and came back to help. I was the one who drove them away when you were all being attacked by the round creature. If not for me the entire village would have been destroyed by now, and you along with it." His voice trailed off as sorrow overtook his voice. "If only you had listened this all could have been avoided. If only you hadn't sent me away I could have stopped them when they first got here, instead of just when I noticed they were here." He slowly looked towards his parents who were beginning to rise.

His mother was the first to speak, "son, is that you? It's been so long since we saw you, we had no idea that you'd look like that come your Age of Eminence." She moved closer to him and smiled, licking him with her proboscis as a sign of affection. "Well Elder," she began, "now that he's saved the whole village, we can't exactly send Scott away now, can we?"

The village elder contemplated the situation for several minutes until he finally flapped his wings in frustration. "Fine, fine. You are right he should be rewarded for his efforts to help save the village, and it would be wrong for us to send him away again. A special exception could be made in his case so he can stay in the village." With that, Elder flew away to begin recalling the rest of the village back home.

Scott smiled and flew back to his old home, resting on the branch that he had slept on so many years ago. 'It feels so good to be home,' he thought. 'I only wish Emma was here to talk to.' It was at that point that he heard a familiar voice on the wind.

"Scott, oh my gosh is that you!" Scott turned his head to see Emma, now a bright yellow flier, coming towards him. She flapped her wings playfully at him as she studied his appearance. "Wow, you sure do look different than me, but honestly not too bad. The stories always said purples became monsters that liked to eat babies in their sleep, but I guess that's not the case; unless you've been up to any baby-eating in the last three years?"

Scott laughed and shook his head. "No, no baby-eating. Speaking of babies, who did you end up mating with? I bet you at least have one baby of your own by now?" He looked at his old friend, trying to hide his sadness at the realization that she was most likely a mother.
"Actually," she slowly replied, "I never mated with anyone. After you left it just wasn't the same in the village without you here. I never found anyone else that I was even close to, so I just stayed single. My parents keep bugging me telling me to find someone, but I don't want to mate just to make babies unless I really want to spend my life with the person, ya know." At this, she moved close to Scott and continued speaking. "Honestly, there's only one person I can think of that I could ever want to mate with," she replied coyly.

Scott looked confused as she moved closer and responded. "Who would that be? I thought you said that there was no one in the village you liked." He stared at her awaiting an explanation.

"That's because he wasn't in the village until a short time ago," she replied, pointing her proboscis at him hoping he would finally get the point. "You're who I want to spend my life with, Scott. I don't care about silly rules or traditions, or even if you look a bit different than me. I heard from Elder that you saved the village, which should make you a hero to everyone here. Even if we have to live elsewhere I'll be fine, because I'm with you." Emma moved close to Scott and flapped her wings on him as a sign of affection and he returned the gesture.

Within several months Scott and Emma were mates, and by the time of the next Age of Transformation they had a child together, a bright Purple baby. In the coming generation, Elder stepped down due to his advancing age and appointed Scott, now dubbed "Hero of the Village", in his place. Scott's first act as Elder was to abolish the discriminatory rules and traditions concerning his people, and from that day on all were welcome in the village, no matter what occurred during the Age of Transformation.

Trying to Capture: Wurmple X2 (6k-10k total MCR)
CC: 19,237

 

Claiming.

 

Introduction: One thing I noticed so far is that on most of your Easiests you have an introductory first paragraph that basically describes the Pokemon at hand you’re trying to capture; this isn’t necessarily bad but you’re using it to set a pattern where it isn’t really needed.

I can actually see mass communities of Wurmples depending on the common evolution, which is nice, I don’t think I’ve seen this before – the ceremony is also a nice touch and having the Age of Eminence and Age of Transformation be the same levels as evolution would be is a neat way to explain level / experience in a more anime-environment.

I also rather like the use of Scyther to chop down trees for lumber, but then the elder happens, and I find it hard to believe they don’t have any predators on the forest and they’ve never seen a human pass.

Then we have a cliché plot twist that was seen coming as soon as you mentioned their society’s prejudice of Cascoon and Dustox.

“You’re [dark color] and not white so you gotta go away now”, some might wonder if this is a poor metaphor – which I hope it isn’t given the ending.

After a quick battle to defend the hive, the elder decides he’s okay despite being a purply and makes an exception to him. And after that he has a shiny baby, becomes elder and abolish the discrimination.

It lessens the emotional impact when you know he wouldn’t have bothered if he had become a Beautifly the first time around, in fact, if he did and had a shiny baby he’d probably puntkick the baby out of the way.

Description: You probably shouldn’t try to describe people as white, mostly because people aren’t. We describe them as white for historical reasons (probably to make a dichotomy between the European and the African people early on), but unless you’re seriously pale and is wearing a ton of makeup the actual color is more of a pinkish hue than white proper.

You should probably be more careful when describing Voltorb/Electrode too, since they’re both electric, red and white and the way you described there’s no way of differentiating between the two of them.

While names are exempt of the rule of repetition, you probably could have varied it up? Even on stories you don’t see people only being referred by their names, sometimes they’ll be referred to as a nickname or just by boy or girl.

Grammar and Length: All good, although as you’ve heard before you should probably work on getting m ore plot in less characters instead of more.

Verdict: Meh, sure.