The Lost Cause

The Lost Cause
(I wrote a story!!!)​

The adrenaline rush coursed through Cassidy's veins while time slowly inched its way to three o’clock. At least twenty-five golden number two pencils rapidly shook in place as students doubled their pace to finish the exam on time before the clock struck three.

“RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!” The crimson-red bell alarmed the students that took their tests, and startled those that were asleep.

“All right, students. Place your pencils down and place your tests facedown; I’ll collect all papers when everyone leaves. Have an enjoyable weekend and remember to stay away from weed or any alcoholic beverages! And Cassidy, I’d like to speak to you after class,” Ms. Williams expressed herself in front of the classroom. Her hourglass-shaped body stuck out even more with her extremely tight clothes, most notably seen through her stretched out white buttoned-down shirt. Her skirt barely reached the top of her knees, as she crossed her legs while she waited for him to acknowledge her.

“Sure thing, Ms. Williams,” Cassidy responded. He stroked his hand back and forth through his braids to scratch an itch that seemed nearly impossible to reach. He lifted his brown face towards her, but was nearly blinded by the brightness of the sun’s rays that radiated her caramel-colored face that made her red lips stand out.

The juniors got out of their navy blue seats and packed their belongings into their book bags. Many of them walked out with a large discussion of their most recent test that surrounded the classroom’s atmosphere. They exited through the brown doorway that reached a height of nine feet. Even the world’s largest man could fit under there.

“Yes, Ms. Williams? What can I do for you?” Cassidy curiously asked his hot teacher. She inched closer to him and took a seat next to him with her eyes locked upon his face.

“Yes, you can, actually,” Ms. Williams untied her brunette hair out of her blue hair tie. The birthmark on her face under her left eye shifted his attention to her even more, which made her look even more irresistible. She put her hand on his desk and slid it a little more closer to him with each second passed.

“I understand the previous test was really difficult and that you currently have a C in this class, yes?” she asked him, with the answers already in her head.

“Yeah,” Cassidy responded. A confused expression consumed his face.

“Well, I have a proposal for you. If you do what I’m about to ask you, and do it good, I’ll “accidentally” up you’re your test grade and give you’re an A for the quarter,” She responded. A smirk entered her face right before she exposed what she had in mind.

“Depends on what it is, but I’m pretty sure I can. What do you have in mind?” He asked. He felt the situation at hand grew intense. It felt like the temperature in the room rose at about twenty degrees to Cassidy, but it most likely was his conscience that made him think and feel that. He looked down at her chest and immediately thought that, the way she was talking and how she loosened herself up, was sure signs that she was about to seduce him into having sex with her.

“Well, I want you to help me. In my neighborhood, there’s some sort of creature polluting the waters within a five-mile radius. And recently, people have reportedly been having their cars or scattered areas of their houses damaged. Can you come with me tonight and maybe help out a bit? I realize that you and several other classmates are expert Pokemon trainers, but to be honest, I like you most,” she said. She took a deep breath after her question. Her big lips smacked together after she used her long tongue to wet them.
“Oh…Well, I’m honored, Ms. Williams. Sure, I’ll go with you tonight and help you solve what’s been going on…” Cassidy said. He looked down in disappointment after his hopes of getting together with his teacher were just abruptly shot down.

“What’s wrong, Cassidy?” Ms. Williams questioned. She stroked her hand through her long, brunette hair that reached down to the bottom of her back.

“Nothing…I just expected…y’know, you asking something a little more…daring,” he responded with a sentence broken up in a few sections.

“Oh, well what was on your mind?” she leaned towards him. Her gorgeous eyes looked him straight in his eyes and completely melted him.

“Well, the way you looked and talked to me like that made me think that you were trying to seduce me into being with you in bed. Which wouldn’t have taken much effort to do at all,” Cassidy said. He eagerly awaited her response and hoped that she would come to equal terms with him.

“Oh, yeah, I see. Well, sorry to disappoint you, and thanks for helping me tonight. I really appreciate it,” his teacher said. She looked into his straight face and noticed that he still wasn’t too satisfied. Even without her knowing what was wrong with him, she had something in mind for him.

“Okay, Ms. Williams. I guess we should be on our way, huh?” he asked. He rose up out of his chair and straightened out his blue Polo shirt and brushed lint off of his white Nikes. His hand reached out and grabbed his black North Pole book bag.

“Don’t worry about it, Cassidy. I’m saving that little “experiment” for next quarter if you’re in any need of assistance,” she quickly said. She lifted herself out of the chair she placed next to him, and walked to her desk in front of the class. Her wide hips shook right and left with rhythm until she approached her desk to get her Louis Vuitton purse. She turned back at him and winked at him.

“Really, Ms.? If that’s the case, the I really can’t wait to fail next quarter,” Cassidy remarked. He walked to the door with his teacher and they both left.

They made a sudden right turn out of the doorway and walked several feet down the newly refurbished hallways of the school.

“Ladies first,” he said. Cassidy pushed opened the doors and looked back at his teacher. Her extended his right arm out the door and moved back a little to give her some room to leave.

“Thank you, Cassidy. That’s really sweet of you,” she responded in gratitude. She walked out the door and looked at the parking lot across the street. Her blue Corvette was easily spotted seeing as it was nearly eight o’clock at night and nobody in their right mind would stay that late at school.

They walked across the block and came to a stop when a Crossing Guard Mr. Mime stopped the two because of incoming traffic. The light soon changed and Mr. Mime stopped cars that were making right and left turns, and allowed the two to safely cross the busy street. They approached the teacher’s slick, light blue car and walked to their appropriate sides.

“Whoa, this is a pretty sweet car!” Cassidy shouted. He rubbed his dark hands across the exterior and gazed at it. His dream care quickly shifted to this blue Corvette that rested before him.

“Thanks, Hun. It cost me a lot of money to buy this car along with insurance,” she responded. Her hand came out of her left pocket with the keys, and inserted into the car door. She opened the door and unlocked the opposite side for her student to enter.

They both entered the car simultaneously. She inserted the key into the ignition and turned it on. The engines roared, as the car backed up out of the parking lot and drove off into the starry night. He took his hands off the leather interior and started to toy around with the radio station, and soon landed it on Hot 97. The DJ stopped speaking and put “Drop The World” by Lil Wayne and Eminem on, which was definitely one of the biggest hits.

“I love this song,” Cassidy said. He bounced his head up and down in rhythm to the song, as he hummed the chorus and rapped all three verses. Ms. Williams glanced at him for a quick second and smirked. She’s heard this song before, too, but mainly because Eminem was featured on the song.

 

They passed by many lakes that were full of Lotad and Lombre, along with a cemetery that was full of Dusclops and Dusknoir; Her house was right around the corner. She drove down the block and made a left on Lakeview Ave. Her car quietly crept along the black pavement and she pulled up in the driveway of her huge white, three-story house with a blue roof.

“Well, here we are. How does it look?” she asked. She pulled the car keys out of the slot and opened up the car door after she closed the windows.

“This is amazing, Ms. Williams. I wouldn’t think someone with a house like this would be working as a teacher, haha,” he responded. Cassidy got out of the car and slammed the door a little too hard.

“If you think my house is that amazing, wait until you see the backyard. We have our own mini-lake, but some peculiar thing has been lurking our waters. This has caused us many problems weeks before,” Ms. Williams said. She walked around the perimeter of her house and opened up the gates that divided her front yard and back yard.

“All right, let’s go check this out. I came prepared with three Pokemon I’ve had for quite some time, and we have great confidence in each other. Whatever has been messing up your lake and broken your property, I’m sure we can handle it,” he confidently exclaimed. He lifted up his shirt and pointed to his three Pokeballs that were attached to his belt.

“Thanks, I knew I could count on you, Cassidy,” Ms. Williams gladly responded. She looked grabbed his arm and walked into the backyard with him. Her backyard, full of gnomes and other decorative items, was luxurious and beautiful. Once they walked deeper into the yard, they approached the contaminated lake with a stench that could put a Gloom to shame. The lake had a tint of purple that floated atop the water along with brown swirls that circled around the area of the body of water.

“Jesus, what happened here?” he asked surprisingly. His eyes examined the lake for as far as they can see, and now knew why his teacher asked him to come along with her to help out.

“Well, a few weeks ago this lake used to be a wonderful pristine area until some unknown creature showed up and intoxicated our water. Ever since then, the water Pokemon that used to inhabit this area has never shown up again. And around the same time, people have reportedly been saying that their cars and houses were wrecked. It’s all just been a big mess,” Ms. Williams said disappointedly. She followed up with a sigh, and shifted her attention on the polluted lake.

“Sounds really strange, but I don’t know how to explain what’s been going on here…” Cassidy quietly responded. He looked at the lake once more to think of possible scenarios that may have occurred to cause this.

They looked at the lake ahead with confused looks until something that created little ripples in the water caught their attention. The ripples multiplied in intensity and frequency, as a huge octopus Pokemon surfaced out of the muggy water.

“Look, it’s a Tentacruel!” Cassidy shouted. The adrenaline that pumped within him was far greater than when he rushed to take his exam in school earlier that day. He lifted his shirt, which exposed his belt with the three Pokeballs, and grabbed the one to his right.

“I have faith in you. Go, Starmie!” Cassidy shouted, as he tossed his crimson red sphere into the starry sky. The Pokeball opened and out came a star-shaped Pokemon that emerged from a bright white light that lit up the area.

Starmie stood strong in its spot and twirled its second star behind its main one. The core on its body lit up intensely, as it prepared for the battle. Tentacruel suddenly shot rapid rounds of Poison Sting at Cassidy’s Pokemon.

“Starmie, quickly use Rapid Spin!” he shouted. He stepped back a few feet and grabbed Ms. Williams with him so that they would be in safe distance.

The star Pokemon spun its body at a rapid pace. The swarms of purple needles launched towards Starmie, but were quickly reflected back because of Rapid Spin. Tentacruel’s Poison Sting was shot in all sorts of directions.

“Now, use Confuse Ray!” he commanded his Cosmo Pokemon. A sinister light blue ray shot from Starmie and went directly towards the octopus.

Tentacruel quickly dove underwater to successfully dodge the Confuse Ray. The water Pokemon swum fast while below the poisonous lake, and let off a painfully deafening Screech that shook the area. Starmie was stopped dead in its tracks from the tremendous impact of the startling noise. Toxic ooze shot out from underneath Tentacruel, and traveled towards his star Pokemon.

“Starmie, quickly dodge his Toxic!” he shouted at his Pokemon to warn it. Starmie barely moved, but the effects of Screech were too intense for it to handle, and made it nearly incapable of dodging the incoming Toxic.

Tentacruel’s previous move intoxicated the star-shaped Pokemon. Poison was slowly eating away at Starmie the more time progressed. The red light that glowed in its core started to flicker and dim down a bit, while Cassidy was thinking of his next move.

“Heal your Pokemon, Cassidy,” Ms. Williams urged him. She kept her eyes on him and hoped that he would take her advice and proceed with it.

“Use Refresh, Starmie!” he yelled. A smile consumed his face after a thought popped in his head of what to do next.

Starmie stopped moving and focused its energy into its inner self. Its body started to glow, and the Toxic condition it once had was completely removed. It let off a loud battle cry, which alarmed the octopus Pokemon.

“Now, Starmie, use Blizzard onto the lake!” Cassidy commanded it. He clutched his fist and nodded towards Ms. Williams. He shoved his hands right into his pocket, but at that exact same moment, a large crash was made around the front of her house. A muscular Pokemon rushed to the back where the action was and used Bullet Punch.

“Oh, no you don’t. Go, Pidgeot!” Ms. Williams yelled. She squeezed her hand into her extremely tight pocket to get the Pokeball.

She pulled her hand out of her pocket and tossed the red-white sphere into the sky. The ball made contact with the backyard with a burst of white light. The massive bird Pokemon emerged from the white light and quickly flew up above to dodge Machop’s Bullet Punch.

Starmie’s red core turned into a tint of sky blue when it charged for Blizzard. Massive cold winds blew at unimaginable speed towards the Tentacruel. The attack seemed inescapable, but Tentacruel managed to fire one Hydro Pump before its impending doom. The octopus shot a blast of water at high frequency towards Starmie’s Blizzard, but only managed to stop the center winds of the icy move. The outer winds of the freezing move shot directly at the poisonous lake and froze it, along with the Tentacruel in it.

“Perfect!” he shouted. He turned and looked at the battle that just started behind him. “Here, catch this, Ms. Williams,” he said. He grabbed an empty Pokeball and tossed it at her.

“Thanks, this just might help the horrible conditions that have been going on in my neighborhood,” she said. She turned quickly, and plotted out her Pokemon’s next attack.

“Pidgeot, use Brave Bird to finish the Machop off!” she shouted. She jumped up and down when she ordered her bird to do this. Cassidy tried his best to keep his eyes off of her bouncing chest.

Pidgeot flew higher into the sky, and charged directly down at Machop at a remarkable speed that was only slower by a very small amount of others. Its body turned white, as it gained speed to closer it got to the muscular Pokemon. Machop yanked his arm back to prepare for his next attack. Electrical jolts surrounded his fists, as he launched his fist towards the bird Pokemon.

“Quickly, switch to Quick Attack instead, Pidgeot!” she commanded it.

Pidgeot dodged the Thunderpunch and managed to directly make contact with the fighting Pokemon. The impact of the move knocked him off his feet and onto the ground.

“Now, follow it up with Brave Bird and another Quick Attack!” Ms. Williams yelled while she moved closer to me. She looked at me and looked at the frozen Tentacruel.

“Oh, right. Now use Thunder, Starmie!” I commanded my star-shaped Pokemon. Clouds formed around Ms. Williams’ block and got darker by the second right after Starmie started to charge up for it.

The mysterious Pokemon controlled the Thunder from the dark clouds above and directed it at the frozen Tentacruel for an incredible amount of damage. The impact of the Thunder shattered every square inch of ice that brought Tentacruel out of its frozen status. Its power was nearly completely drained

Pidgeot once again moved at a remarkable speed towards the Machop. The Brave Bird attack hit the Pokemon with power so strong that the large bird Pokemon took in some recoil damage from the impact. It flew up a few feet and followed up with a Quick Attack to finish it off, but before it managed to do that, Machop launched a Dynamic Punch at a last second attempt to hinder the teacher’s Pokemon.

“Dodge it and continue your Quick Attack, Pidgeot!” she shouted. The bird quickly dodged it with its outstanding speed and directly hit Machop in its chest. The blow from the hit knocked the superpower Pokemon a few feet back into the gate surrounding the area.

Both Pokemon that posed a significant threat to Cassidy’s teacher’s neighborhood were down to small portion of health. The student and teacher looked at each other and knew exactly what to do next. They reached into their pockets and both grabbed empty Pokeballs.

“Go, Pokeball!” Ms. William’s shouted. The red-white ball launched at the fighting Pokemon and engulfed it with a red light that was quickly absorbed right back into the spherical device.

Cassidy acknowledged her move and did the same. He tossed the Pokeball at the Tentacruel, but right before it made contact with the weakened octopus, a Tentacool emerged right in front of the Tentacruel and got absorbed by the Pokeball instead!

Both Pokeballs laid in their appropriate areas and shook intensely, as both Machop and Tentacool battled fiercely to escape the grasp of it. The spheres shook once, twice…

 

Targeted Pokemon: Tentacool and Machop
Required Characters: 10,000 - 20,000
Total Characters:
- No spaces: 14,753
- Spaces: 17,855

 

Claimed by the mighty Alaskapigeon. *hiss* My story!

 

Intro: You did a good job of describing your main characters in your intro. Right away, I can tell Cassidy and Ms. William's personalities. You also do a good job describing the high school classroom. It sounds almost exactly like my school, so I know you did a good job. Everything looks good here, so full points.

Plot: Cassidy, an average student, is requested to help out his teacher Ms. Williams, who is rather, er...hot and bothered about something that's been happening near her house. He goes with his teacher to investigate, and finds her pond infested by Tentacruel, Tentacool, and a Machop for some reason. He quickly defeats all three Pokemon, and catches the Machop and Tentacool. Well, what can I say. It was rather...unique. It was definitely original. It made me laugh (though whether it was supposed to or not is unknown to me). In any case, I enjoyed it, so more points.

Dialogue: Your dialogue is pretty good. It flows well, and everything makes sense. You have a lot of errors, but I'll save those for the next section.

Grammar: You have a lot of grammatical errors, but most seem to be typos brought on by a case of you being a guy describing a hot teacher. I don't think that you were thinking straight, so I'm just listing some of them as a technicality.

Remember that after something in quotation marks, the next word is lowercase unless it's a name, so:

should be:

In this sentence, you left out a couple words, so the flow is interrupted:

It should be:

Ms. Williams answer here doesn't make sense:

That's what Cassidy asks, and she responds:

He didn't ask a yes or no question, so if you wanted her to answer yes, he should've said:

Also, the more here is unnecessary:

It should be:

There are more mistakes, but most of them are at the beginning when Cassidy thought he was being seduced. I laughed out loud. You got so caught up in trying to make that scene all hot, you started making grammatical errors. XD Sorry for laughing, but that's hilarious. Anyway, most of the errors seem like typos caused by you being turned on, so your grammar's probably fine.

Detail: Detail...ummm...wow. Ha. There was A LOT of that. But really, you did good describing everything. You adequately described your characters, the places they went, and the moves the Pokemon in your story used. The only thing you didn't describe well were the Pokemon themselves. A lot of people forget to describe Pokemon, but with hundreds of kinds of Pokemon, it's good to give a description of each one so that people have a clear image of the one's you're describing. You described everything else fine, though. Just imagine the Pokemon are Ms. Williams.

Length: The minimum length for a Tentacool and Machop together would be 10k and you have 17k, so you're fine.

Reality: Most of your story made sense to me, except for two things. One, in the beginning, it's three in the afternoon. Then, Cassidy and Ms. Williams have a short conversation, and all the sudden, it's eight at night. Where did that time go? Did they do something off camera? If they did, don't tell me. I don't want to know. The second issue is, where in the hell are this kid's parents? He's been hanging out with his TILF all day and night. You'd think they'd be worried. What is this fictional world coming to. Tsk, tsk.

Personal Feelings: In the end, I enjoyed your story. It was fun, unique, and campy. Also, you dropped an Eminem/Lil' Wayne reference, so you're okay in my book. As a girl, this story was sufficiently amusing. You had a lot of grammar issues, but I think we can explain most of those away, so...

Outcome: Tentacool and Machop...Captured!

Congratulations, and have fun with your two new Pokemon (and Ms. Williams)! *wink*