Scatter Truffle

I need a shelter.

I am chased.

I must run away.

I must defend myself.

I want to live.

I want to die, but not this way.

I must protect myself.

I must zoom the glades of the forest.

I must find a home.

I must not get tired.

I must survive.

I must hide, greedy people.

I must hide, fear of getting eaten.

I must hide, my identity mistaken.

I must hide, getting cooked.

I can't change, looks of a truffle.

I am hunted, delicious mushroom recipes from me.

I know, I am not a mushroom.

I am mistaken, my species are.

I am delicious, exotic, rare, expensive.

---

I have chased them off. Why do they hunt us?

I have heard the tales. The stories of those who survive. We are killed. We are chooped. We are put in a boiling pot. We are an ingredient of the gluttonous humans. Or at least, for those who were not able to survive.

I know the reason. Once, a victim was mistaken as a truffle. The greedy human knew the difference, but did not release the Scatterbug. Implied that we're delicious, for the merciless humans came back. We were hunted. Once a many counts, but now dwindled to a few hundreds.

I know why they seek us. We look like truffles. Those mushrooms, highly rare. Regarded as gourmet dish worthy. We, we were considered a better replacement. We do look like them, we admit. Round black head. Black body. White neck mane. White strands of hairs of three. We look like dressed-up truffles.

I am alone. I have no friends, for they were taken. I have no family, they were taken too. I have a significant other, but she replaced me with someone. They were taken too, anyway.

I do not know anybody. A loner.

I do not care, survival of the fittest.

I sense peace in the forest.

I deserve some sleep.

---

I woke up to the light of morning.

I seek morning dew, found in tree leaves. I climb so easly, for that is the trademark of us Scatterbug. I reached a branced, walked carefully and crept to the watery leaves.

I find it quenching.

I eat the leaves too. The dew, then the leaf. I rest for a while.

I saw a human. With a net. Must be a hunter.

I think that it is too early to hunt. The sun is still near the horizon. Are the humans desperate?

I do not move.

I am trying to be with the silence.

I should be steady as this mighty tree.

I breathe in quietly.

I am perspiring, sweat is cold to feel.

I saw the hunter, looking bored. He must have thought his search is fruitless, bound to fail. He walked away.

I sighed.

I saw him turning his head. To me.

I saw him seeing me.

I curse the silence, for making such a sigh noticeable.

I saw him run. With his long legs, he reached the tree. He waves his net to me.

I try to dodge.

I am successful.

I jump off the branch.

I landed safely. Our race is sturdy.

I run away.

I see the hunter racing towards me. His net ready to snatch my body.

I spit some string-like silk. The hunter blocked it with his net. Now, the net is going to be super stichy.

I ran for so long. My body starts to tire.

I rest upon the back of a random tree.

I looked, the hunter was gone.

I breathed heavily.

I closed my eyes.

I kept them for a while.

I opened my eyes.

I was hit by something sticky.

I get to see from among the silk.

I see the hunter.

I am caught.

I am going to be eaten.

I think terrible.

I can no longer escape.

I am trapped, with the help of my very own silk.

I can no longer...

I wept. Silently. As the net shaked and the hunter whistled in a gleeful tone.

I say, goodbye.

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Pokemon: Scatterbug
Rank: Easiest (hence my writing)
CC: 3,336
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Author's Note: It took me around 1-2 hours. Woo. This is not based on any song.

 

Claim!

 

Introduction: I'm gonna go ahead and categorize that first section of those halting lines as the introduction, because they come at the beginning of the story and serve the purpose of exposition, or exposing facts that you want your reader to know. This introduction is more heavy on the exposition side, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it is helped by the fact that because of the style you chose to write this in, you basically just had lines and lines of stating facts.

Story/Plot: Well, the plot is pretty creative for an Easiest story. I had to google truffles, and some of the pictures did bear a resemblance to a Scatterbug. I did, however, notice that this would mean a caterpillar tastes about the same as a potato, which seems unlikely. You do think to state in your story that Scatterbug are delicious, so I guess I can see where you are coming from with that.

I am also wondering how on Earth the hunter heard the sigh? Sighs tend to be quiet and under your breath, and for a creature as small as a Scatterbug, this would of course be minimized. I suppose the hunter may have had very good ears with which to hear his prey, but even so.

How do other Scatterbug survive to tell their horror stories? They are tiny, they can't move quickly, and if a hunter gets his hands on one of them, they're done. How would they escape?

It actually seems to be a deadly twist on the old 'trainer walks into the woods' story with a different POV, which is quite refreshing.

Description: Pretty sparse in terms of description. However, this is not necessarily a bad thing. Your story is short and has the minimal number of characters and scenery, so not much description is required. There isn't really much to describe. While you do make the ties comparing the Scatterbug to the truffle, describing it in the process, the hunter doesn't get a description. The leaves do, but the hunter, one of your most important characters, does not.

Climax: Whoa, this was intense. I kinda thought the poor guy was going to get caught or die some other way, but... wow. Nicely done indeed. I liked the touch where his silk accidentally only served to make the net stickier.

Length: Yep, you're good. Kinda short for an Easiest story, but still within parameters.

Grammar: Some words are missing in a couple places, like here:

Should be, I must zoom through the glades of the forest. I'm not sure is Scatterbug's flawed grammar is intentional or not, because it would make sense that a Pokémon could not master grammar.

You can see a similar thing here:

Here I'm pretty sure that it was artistic choice. It makes sense that a caterpillar would have screwed up grammar. However, some of these just don't make sense and it would be better if you thought that out a bit more next time.

Verdict: Scatterbug is caught! It's Easiest, for crying out loud, and you were creative and had a fairly good plot, and that's pretty much all you need for an Easiest.