Redemption

Pokemon: Scyther
Rank: Complex (30k to 40k)
Length: 32,480 characters

I hope you enjoy :3

Act 1: Expulsion

The sunlight slowly warmed the Scyther’s green, reptilian face. The species is cold-blooded, and the warmth of the sun was especially welcome on this Scyther’s tired face. It was mid-afternoon and only two hours had passed since this particular Pokemon had been deported from its swarm. ‘Such heresy,’ thought the Scyther. Truly, it was heresy to challenge the leader of a Scyther swarm to a leardership battle, but this was not the case if the challenger won: in that case, the challenger became the new leader, and the old one was expunged from the clan, as was the case with our beaten Scyther.

A rustling noise in the nearby tall grass stopped the Scyther’s negative thoughts. It’s cream and green wings fluttered; if the newcomer as a danger, the Mantis Pokemon would not stand a chance in its current state. The rustling continued, and the Scyther’s wings followed suit, but both stopped as a relatively small Caterpie poked its head out of the grass. The small Worm Pokemon rotated its head around to see if there was anything of interest, before making a small squeaking noise and retreating back into the tall grass.

The Mantis felt relief, and continued its slow pace away from what was once it’s family. Kicked out, abandoned… the former champion of the clan was now a nothing, a weakling, a failure.

Suddenly, the Scyther’s demeanour changed. A bright gleam shone across its scaly face. It brought its head to face the sky, as if to make a promise. ‘I will not rest,’ decided the forest-green Pokemon, ‘until I get my revenge.’ As if to punctuate this newfound goal, the Scyther shrugged off its self-pity and broke into a sprint through the grass. The leaves parted for the Pokemon and its powerful enthusiasm. ‘If I’m going to beat him,’ thought the rushing Mantis, ‘I’m going to need to train. And I know just the place!’

***

Krokka Tunnel is one of the most dangerous places in Fiore. A dark, demeaning tunnel filled with strong, angry fighter Pokemon. Unfortunately for the people in Fiore, the cave is a necessary route from Ringtown to Fall City. Fortunately for them, though, the Pokemon usually stayed away from any entering humans, for any attack on the population of the towns would be a bad omen for their privacy and safety. Not all did so, but it would be safe to say that only a small minority approached humans. Visiting Pokemon, however, did not bear the same privilege, for the very simple reason that they couldn’t convey any possible cruelty which might be headed their way.


The Scyther had witnessed this cruelty first hand when it was just a small nymph. When it’s mother laid the eggs, this particular one’s egg rolled off into the cave, where it hatched. The very first site the Pokemon ever saw was a set of four grey knuckles heading towards its face. The Scyther could hardly move; it’s muscles unused. The punch connected, and the green Mantis flew into the cave wall behind it. Its eyes rose to see the assailant in all of its stout grey glory. The three brown ridges on the Machop’s head seemed to shine as it approached, and the baby, however unexperienced, knew that the angled eyes on the approaching figure’s face were not a good sign.

***

“So,” the Machamp spoke, “I see you’ve returned, old friend.” He seemed to spit these last words, but the Scyther couldn’t tell whether that was just the four-armed figure’s gravelly voice. “What can I do for you?” The grey figure’s face was still unreadable, so the Mantis Pokemon reasoned that it was time to speak.

“I need training,” responded the Scyther, not wishing to detail its embarrassing failure. The fact that it couldn’t distinguish the rather large form’s tone of voice also added to its silence; a friendly greeting in jest would further aggravate a sarcastic Pokemon, and the last thing the Scyther wanted to do was anger its last hope. That, and it was an extremely domineering figure that could break the Scyther in its current state.

“And a good rest, it seems.” The Machamp began evaluating the visitor’s status, and even in the darkness it could see the bruises on the Insect’s body. “Don’t worry, Scyther, you may stay here until the New Moon. When that comes… I cannot vouch for your safety anymore.” This statement, however ambiguous, didn’t seem to faze the Scyther at all, who simply responded with a smile-less nod. “Still as emotional as ever, I see,” chuckled the Machomp, who continued by motioning towards the darkness behind him. “Come, friend, it is supper time.”

***

The green shell of the Scythers old home crumbled under the weight of the Machops’ foot. The grey creature was moving slowly, instilling dread into the newcomer’s mind. It was a game, and the odds were heavily in the Fighting Pokemon’s favour. Suddenly, the approaching figure broke into a run and leaped towards the newborn fist first. The green mantis dodged the attack by ducking, and responded with a quick attack. The Scyther’s blades made contact with the Machop’s grey skin, however they weren’t sharp enough yet to do any real damage. They did, however, provided the young Pokemon a chance to escape.

The Scyther ran through the dark tunnel, not knowing how it even arrived there it in the first place. Its eyes had only been used for a minute, and already the Pokemon needed to strain them, for one trip and the end would come quickly, the creature’s instinct spoke. It noted a rock to its left, and quickly dove to the right, luckily avoiding extreme amounts of rock. Unfortunately, however, it smacked into something twice as hard. The Scyther slammed into the hard body and collapsed onto the floor. As its sight became hazy, and everything went dark, the Scyther managed to catch a glimpse of a large hand of three massively thick fingers reaching for its face.

***

The green Pokemon furiously swiped the Machamp’s body, but crossed arms blocked the full force of its attacks. The other two arms of the Machamp, meanwhile, leaned back to prepare momentum. In a split second, the large grey fists headed towards the Scythers face for a dynamic punch, but the Scyther managed to avoid the damage and the confusion, which would surely have followed. It rolled to the side and struck the Machamp with its wings once again. This time, however, the Machamp was ready, grabbing the Scyther with one hand and using a Vital Throw to toss the victim over twenty metres.

“Your problem isn’t your strength, nor your speed,” spoke the victor as the loser of the bout slowly rose to its feet. “You lack the understanding of your enemies. You must always anticipate your opponents’ moves before they even plan it.”

The Scyther finally got back onto its feet, dusted itself off, and studied its tutor. Mac was one of the most experienced fighters in all of Fiorre, and was the deputy leader of the Krokka Tunnel Dojo. ‘It has powerful arms,’ mused the Scyther, ‘but it only has two legs, and a lot of unbalanced weight. The knees might be the weak spot.’ The Mantis Pokemon smirked, and began to run towards its rival.

The hulking figure jumped as the Scyther passed, and landed by grabbing the Scyther by the body and smashing it onto the ground beneath it. “Do not fight like anyone else, Scyther, for when you fight someone different, you are doomed to fail.” Mac lent a hand to help his long lost friend up. “You are a brilliant fighter for a Scyther, but you are not a brilliant fighter for a Pokemon. You must think not like you, a Scyther, but as your enemy.” The Scyther grabbed his hand and was back on its feet. It was so late at night that it was now morning, and the Scyther was extremely fatigued from its long day. The Machamp seemed to notice this, and smirked. “You seem tired… how about this,” he suggested. “If you can knock me out, I will give you a blanket tonight.”

Unfortunately for the Machamp, who was almost certain to have received the blanket had the Scyther lost the challenge, the Scyther showed no rest in its newfound passion. While the Machamp spoke, the Mantis Pokemon studied its opponent, and realised that no ordinary physical attack could take him out. It planned its moveset, and acted as soon as the challenge was issued. “…blanket tonight,” finished the Machamp, and suddenly the Scyther crossed it’s arm across its chest and spun rapidly. Mac staggered back, but soon realised that it was performing a sword dance, so he began to charge at the Scyther. ‘Too slow,’ thought the green Pokemon, who quickly flipped into the air and slashed the Machamp’s back with its sharp forearms. The Machamp roared in pain, but swung around to perform a dynamic punch. The first punch missed, but Mac quickly followed with its lower left hand and slammed the Scyther back to the ground with a powerful, confusing level of magnitude.

“Stop thinking like you. Start thinking like me. For now, though,” spoke the Machamp as the Scyther slowly left consciousness, “simply sleep. You have an even longer day ahead of you.” As its sight became hazy, and everything went black, the Scyther managed to catch a glimpse of four large hands of five rock-hard fingers each reaching to pick up its body.

Act 2: Dreaming

The Scyther woke up, and once again it was in the clan’s field. The sun was dawning on the horizon, and the much-needed heat entered the Pokemon’s cold-blooded body. Suddenly, the sky turned purple and dark rays spiralled in the deformed panorama. The scene, the Scyther realised, was part of a nightmare, and even though it could realise this, the dream was too vivid to escape. The environment then became to look even more familiar. The movement pattern of the Pidgeotto in the sky, the rustling in the bushes… it was all too similar to-

It was at this point that the Scyther realised why, exactly, this dream was happening. The dreamscape was recreating the moment that the Scyther was kicked out of its herd. This meant two possible things, the first being that the Scyther’s subconscious was so distraught about being detached from all it knew that it wanted to recreate its last moments of its old life. The second, the more likely option, was that the Scythers conscious mind was so angry that it lost a battle that it wanted to have a redo. Indeed, it was the latter, and the Scyther watched through glaring eyes at the approaching mutineer.

The two Scythers greeted each other with stares of rage. They spoke without words, as if to judge whether or not the other would attack first. The silence lasted for a few seconds, but was abruptly over when the older Scyther sprang into battle, not wanting to lose again. A quick X-Scissor was dodged by the heretic, who swiftly followed with fury swipes. The leader took the force of the attack, but used the momentum to spin around and perform a sword dance. The Scyther spun around for a few seconds but the mutineer, determined to win, interrupted the dance with a powerful night slash, aided by the surrealist dark sky. Too late, however, was the offensive manoeuvre performed, and the leader of the Scyther quickly exited its spin before the attack connected and performed a double hit on its opponent. The traitor grabbed the scythes of its target and flipped the Scyther above its head, but went down with it, too tired to stand.

They lay there for minutes, both out of energy, both defeated. A draw. The swirling pattern of the sky began to resemble the roof of a cave, and the Scyther realised it’s dream was over.

‘I didn’t lose,’ pondered the Scyther, ‘but I didn’t win either.’ The ground turned to stone, and suddenly the rocks above began to drip water. Then pour it. Freezing cold water flushed onto the Scyther’s body, the act of which was not particularly welcome to a cold-blooded species.

“Wake up,” yelled the smiling Machamp, who seemed to be holding a suspiciously upturned bucket. “It’s time for breakfast.”

***

“Gather round,” a rather gravelly voice grunted, “we seem to have a new warrior among us.” The Scyther couldn’t see what was happening because of a sack on its head, but assumed that whatever was talking was the owner of the large orange hands that grabbed it earlier.

“What is it, sensei?” asked a younger, more spritely voice. “I’ve never seen one of those before!”

“Don’t be silly,” interjected another voice, this one with a tinge of arrogance. “It’s obviously a Bulbasaur. See? It’s green!”

“Nuh uh,” responded the second voice again, “Bulbasaurs have twenty legs. I’ve seen one!”

“Shut up!” The owner of the first voice seemed fed up with the ridiculous claims about the newcomer’s identity. “This is a Scyther, and it is not our pet. It shall earn its place among us, or perish. Machop!”

“Yes, sir,” responded the second voice.

“You may begin the initiation,” spoke the leader, in a tone that suggested the smallest hint of a smirk. The order was then followed by a few milliseconds of unnerving silence, accompanied by some heavy footsteps slowly approaching the Scyther. As unwelcome as it was, the stillness was preferred over what came afterwards.

***

The disgusting gruel sloshed through the Scyther’s throat, but it was still welcome. After all, the worst slop was still better than nothing. Looking up from the makeshift rock bowl, the Scyther scanned the area around it. To the left was Mac, lifting boulders with his upper set of arms, and shovelling rice balls dropped by humans into its mouth with its lower pair.

To the right was a large beetle-like creature with a T-shaped prong extruding from the Pokemon’s forehead. “Heracross,” repeatedly chanted the approximately seven foot tall creature intermittently throughout his routine of lifting and throwing huge rocks. His presence was notably odd, considering that Heracross were not native to that specific area of Fiore, however the Scyther simply thought of ways to defeat the Bug Pokemon in battle. Between the two training Pokemon stood, or rather spun, an unusually tall Hitmontop. He too was not indigenous to the area, but then again, neither was the Scyther.

The Scyther swallowed another serving of the gruel, and smiled. Content and ready to fight, it shoved the bowl to the ground and sped towards the Heracross, scythes ready. The blue Pokemon took the damage, but quickly countered the attack with a punch with twice the force. The Scyther flew back a metre or two, but managed to dig its claws into the ground to minimise the distance. As soon as it recovered, the Scyther registered a new problem: the Heracross was charging for a Megahorn attack. The attacker began speeding towards the Scyther, horn first, and continued through it.

“Double team, very nice, Scyther.” The Machamp began to note all of the moves in the battle, critiquing the Mantis Pokemon’s technique. “But remember to attack your opponent!” The Scyther took its eyes off of the recovering Heracross to note that even the Hitmontop was watching, (hand)standing still to get a good view of the battle. When it looked back, the Pokemon noticed that the Heracross was charging again, and only narrowly avoided a painful collision with a wing-assisted jump.

Still fluttering in the air, the Scyther came down onto the Heracross to perform a powerful air slash. The attack was super effective and pierced the Heracross’ armor, causing the bug to squeal at an extremely high pitch.

“Very good, Scyther. Take note of and utilise your opponents weakness,” spoke the Machamp, who was no longer exercising, but solely watching the fight with crossed arms. “But can you take two enemies at once? Hitmontop!” With the call, the Hitmontop began spinning again and bounced into the bout with a set of close combat attacks against the Scyther, quickly joined by the Heracross.

No room to escape, the Scyther had to fend off the attacks with fury cutters, alternating between the two targets. The Heracross landed a blow on the Scyther, who quickly responded with a sharp slice of its right scythe. A powerful kick by the Hitmontop missed the ducking Scyther, and instead made contact with the Heracross’ abdomen. The hurt Single Horn Pokemon cringed as it was once again sliced by the Scyther, who quickly followed up with a second air slash, knocking out the heavily wounded beetle.

The Scyther turned around to take down the second enemy, but was triple kicked in the head by the still-standing Hitmontop. It wasn’t very effective, but the sheer surprise of the attack sent the mantis staggering back. An easy target, the Hitmontop then attacked it with a more damaging set of close combat attacks. Its recovery slowed, the Scyther needed a way out, and performed a super effective Air Slash to slow down the Hitmontop. The attack connected, and the Fighting Pokemon flew back, unconscious. The Scyther quickly rested its arms on its knees, breathing heavily due to the high amount of damage taken, and the amount of energy utilized in the hefty battle.

Suddenly, a powerful, dynamic punch slammed into the back of the Scyther’s head, knocking it to the ground. Quickly escaping consiousness, all the Pokemon heard was the Machamp warning it to never let its guard down. “The battle’s only over when you’re alone,” he said, and the Scyther promptly blacked out.

***

The Scyther’s young body bruised heavily for every single blow it received. Smash! The knuckles connected with the Scyther’s face, and it squealed, it’s voice running hoarse. Thump! The right shoulder was cut with a sharp knee, and the Pokemon whispered silent pleas. Crack! The chest plate was hit with a powerful kick, and the Pokemon had no more screams left.

“Enough,” boomed the leaders voice. The footsteps shuffled away from the wounded child’s body, now lying on the floor in the foetal position, the bag still firmly on its head. “Now, Scyther…” The voice was now calm, as if from a father, however the Scyther had never known a father, and had only associated this voice with pain. Next, the bag was ripped from its head, and after a few seconds of excruciating brightness, the Scyther could see its attackers. “It is time to meet the family.”

“I am Hariyama,” introduced the hulking, muscular Pokemon. It was indeed the owner of the large orange hands that grabbed the Scyther earlier, but its thighs were even bigger: large, dark blue balloons, huddled together by a sunflower-like skirt. The monsters head was grey, as was the chest, but was framed with a dark blue V, making the creature’s demeanour seem even more menacing. “And these are my students.”

“Tyrogue…” The second Pokemon was much smaller, with a spindly pinkish body, brown feet and a brown pelvis. It’s oval-shaped head had three two-dimensional spikes on it’s head, and carried a face of astonishment. It seemed like it simply did not want to fight the Scyther, and had only accomplished the ‘feat’ by not imagining it as alive. The removal of the bag did not bode well.

“Machop…” This one was the Pokemon that had attacked the Scyther earlier on, but did not seem as aggressive as it once did. Indeed, it did seem like it had willingly attacked the Scyther, and was rubbing its sore knuckles, but did not greet the victim with contempt. Rather, the look was more of thanks, as in, ‘thanks for letting me practice my martial arts on your body,’ but without the intent of killing the green Pokemon.

“And our strongest warrior, Makuhita.” This Pokemon didn’t even seem like much of a fighter at all. It was a pudgy, yellow blob with black spheres for hands and a bow tie hairstyle on its head. Pink rings were on opposite sides of the creature’s innocent smiles seemed to accentuate the fighter’s cute image. Unfortunately, the eyes seemed to imply that it was less a smile and more of a smirk. Indeed, the shape of the fists seemed to match some of the more painful of the Scyther’s bruises.

“Scyther, you now have a choice.” The beaten Pokemon turned its head to face the authoritative leader to hear his supposed choice. “You have outlasted the Endurance test, and you have met the members of the Hariyama Dojo. You may now join us,” he smirked, “or die.” He showed no emotion on the last point, and his stone face conveyed the message that he wasn’t kidding.

Although not seeming much like a choice, the Scyther did muse on the point. After all, how many more ‘endurance tests’ might be in the days to come if the Scyther joined the martial artists? In the end, however, the creature had only been conscious for a few hours, and it did want to continue life. It weakly nodded its head to agree to the large Pokemon’s terms.

“Brilliant,” the Hariyama laughed heartily in a proud manner, “I will show you to your area. Students,” he turned to his pupils with a scowl, “Practice until I get back! And if you do not, I suggest you get ready for your own endurance test.” The Scyther gulped as the Hariyama untied it from the chair, and followed its new teacher to its new domicile.

Act 3: Companions for Life

“Are you awake?” asked the Machamp. Slowly, the Scythers eyes opened to the sight of its companion’s smiling face in front of the dark, rocky ceiling “Good, then we can finish your training.” Suddenly, the Machomp slammed down all 4 arms onto the mantis’ rocky ‘bed’, however the Scyther managed to roll out of the way with an altered sword dance.

Leaping to its feet, and readying its arms which were on its chest, the Scyther began to charge at the Machamp, bladed forearms at the front. The Machop leaped into the air and grabbed onto stalactites on the roof of the cave. Ripping off the stone spikes, the Machamp jumped down behind the Scyther, ready to strike with four sharp weapons. He struck the target, but soon realised he had instead attacked a double team duplicate. He quickly spun around and was struck in the face with two air slash swipes.

It’s target reeling back, the Scyther prepared to attack Mac with its wings, but the planned attack was foiled when the upper two of the Machamp’s arms grabbed the flight-enabling appendages. Slowly, the Mantis Pokemon was lifted into the air in a painful manner, the Machamp slowly remarking about how it still hadn’t learned to think like its opponent. The rival then sought to grab the Scyther’s arms, but the green Pokemon was faster and performed several fury swipes on the Machamp’s body, causing him to release its wings.

Both participants were weak after the short but powerful battle, however neither was willing to admit defeat. “Ha! You’re finally beginning to think like your enemy. Knowledge is only half the battle, though. And I,” the Machamp stood tall and readied its stance, “I have the advantage in hand to hand combat!” The grey humanoid ran towards the Scyther, all forearms crossed, prepared for a powerful cross-chop. In response, the green Pokemon began fluttering its wings and armed its appendages, prepared to let out the greatest Air Slash it had ever performed. Seconds later, the two collided in a massive cloud of dust that covered the whole cavern, the force rumbling the ground and knocking the rest of the stalactites off of the roof.

***

Two months in the fight club had led to a uniform schedule. At sunrise, all woke up and participated in a dojo-wide free-for-all spar. The loser, usually the rather weakly Tyrogue, would then have to fetch some fruit for all of the other students and Hariyama. The greenish-gray berries with orange bulbs, known as Liechi Berries, helped strengthen the Pokemon, the Hariyama taught. But they only did so when the Pokemon were weaker, hence the reason they had breakfast immediately after a spar. They tasted odd, but after all, it was the first thing that the Scyther had ever eaten.

After breakfast came chores, each of which was rotated on an irregular basis. The winner of the earlier spar, usually the brutal Makuhita, would assign the tasks which included cleaning, defending against invading Pokemon and protecting any passing human. For numerical reasons, this meant that the winner would also be able to assign a day of only training to someone, which they usually took for themselves.

Six hours of these chores then lead to dinnertime, a healthy dose of Liechi, Enigma and Lum berry soup prepared by Master Hariyama. “It’s good for your bodies,” he told the Scyther when it complained about its appearance, “Now stop being such a girl!” After dinner was another spar, the winner obtaining the lone blanket made of a Caterpie’s string, and then it was bedtime. The schedule was easy to remember, and it never changed. When it came to Winter, however, the Scyther began to learn about the annual hunt.

“Students,” yelled the Hariyama, waking all of the students from their peaceful sleeps. It wasn’t yet daybreak, so the students realised that something different was happening. “The Winter Solstice draws near,” he spoke, “and we shall soon make passage to the mountains.”

“Why would we do that?” foolishly asked the Scyther, before being backhanded by their teacher.

“Every year we must go to the mountains and fight on top of the mountain until the full moon. The cold will cleanse our bodies, and will strengthen you all.” He smirked, as he began an afterthought: “Oh, and if you lose, you will be left up there.” The Hariyama then left the room, satisfied with his delivery of the instructions. The Makuhita waited until he was out of earshot before he began speaking.

“Hah,” he bellowed, “Not even three months, and its already time for your eviction, Scyther!” Mac shot a bitter glance at the brute.

“We all know that the battle up will be between you and me, and that it’ll end with your expulsion from the clan,” he spat.

“Stop it,” the Scyther spoke up. “Master Hariyama will be back any minute, and we must be ready for the spar.”

“Yeah,” the Machop agreed, before smirking at the Makuhita. “Besides, no use arguing the truth.”

“Oh, be quiet!” The Makuhita’s dense black fist came right towards the Machop’s face. Mac took the attack, but quickly retaliated with a powerful dose of Revenge. Suddenly large, thick orange hands picked up the two young warriors.

“It is not yet the spar, you two. For breaking the rules,” the Hariyama roared, “it will be one of you two who is left on the mountain.”

***

The hike up the mountain had taken three days, not helped by the Scyther’s natural dislike of cold temperatures due to its reptilian nature. Rugged up to a fault, the Scyther could only move slowly in its makeshift coat, and even then was still freezing. Thankfully, however, it had at least stopped the Scyther from passing out from the temperature.

When the group had reached the top, they were each given a dinner of spicy poffins that the Hariyama had prepared earlier, and slept in a cave on the cliffside. The cave was kept warm and the poffins heated with a campfire made from pre-gathered wood, carried up the mountain by each pupil, and a powerful Fire Punch from the Hariyama. Luckily for all, there was no blizzard that night, so they could rest well for the day at hand. When the Hariyama left the cave for sleep, however (he had decided that to sleep outside would toughen him up), Mac and the Scyther, sleeping across from each other, did nothing of the sort.

“Mac...” The Scyther couldn’t come to continue its sentence; there was every chance that the Machamp would not return home.

“Don’t worry, mate,” the Machamp reassured, “I’m not going anywhere. Remember that promise we made?” The Scyther nodded. “Exactly. No battle with Makuhita is going to make me break that promise.” This seemed to semi-content the Mantis Pokemon, who fell asleep with an uneasy smile. The Machop, however, was not as confident. “…I hope.” After that, he too fell asleep, nervous about the coming day.

Act 4: Repercussions

“Here are the rules,” the Hariyama bellowed. “It will be a one versus one fight between Machop and Makuhita. Any interference from Scyther or Tyroge will result in the culprit’s immediate expulsion. Whoever loses the fight will suffer the same fate. Is that clear?”

The wind had picked up overnight, and now, on the summit, there was an overpowering blizzard. The noise was incredible and the visibility poor, so the Hariyam, represented by a beige and blue blur, had to make sure that the pupils heard the rules. Nevertheless, the astute students had been trained to pay attention even through intolerable pain, and responded in unison with a hearty: “Yes, Sir!”

“Then,” the leader spoke. “Begin the fight!”

Not wasting any time, the large, yellow Makuhita charged towards the Machop, aiming to perform a powerful Force Palm. The Machop dodged, however, and responded with a volley of Close Combat attacks. The punches were powerful, however this allowed the large yellow blur to perform Revenge and hit the Machop with a powerful attack. Next, it picked up the Machop’s body, ready to Seismic Toss the body, however the Machop performed a Dynamic Punch to force the Makuhita to release him.

Watching the bout from around 100 meters away stood the Scyther and the Tyrogue. While the latter was simply pleased that he would stay in the group another year, the green Mantis Pokemon was praying that its friend would not lose. It was hard to see through the heavy flurry of snow and wind, however the small grey blur seemed to be exchanging an equal amount of blows with the large yellow one. “Go get him, Mac,” whispered the Scyther.

Mac ran towards his opponent readying a powerful Cross Chop, however he was met with an even more powerful Arm Thrust, knocking him to the edge of the mountain’s flat top. He slid across the snow quickly, aided by the powerful wind. He was weak, and he knew that this wasn’t good. “Hah!” yelled the Makuhita. “I’ve been waiting to do this for years!”

The Scyther began to run towards the two. It knew that if it interfered, it would be kicked out, but if Mac lost, then what was the point of staying? Unfortunately, the Scyther only got within a few meters of the fighting pair when the Makuhita picked up the weakened Machop’s body and Seismic Tossed it off the mountaintop.

***

The dust began to clear, and the two Pokemon sat cross-legged, watching each other intently. “There was nothing you could have done,” the Machamp spoke, breaking the long silence.

“No… if I had acted earlier,” the Scyther responded gloomily.

“You couldn’t have defeated Makuhita; you know that,” Mac interrupted. “All that would have happened is that both of us would have fallen off of the mountain. And what then?”

“Regardless, I could have helped. You didn’t need to have… fallen…” The Scyther looked down and let out a tear.

“Look at me, Cynthia,” the Machamp spoke calmly. The Scyther obliged. “What happened to me was not your fault. You need to accept that.”

“I can’t accept that,” she shouted. “I can’t accept that your death wasn’t my fault. If it wasn’t for me-”

“Then I would have died unhappy,” the Machoke responded. “Remember our promise?” The Scyther did. “I wasn’t unhappy, and you know that. You need to let me go.”

“But… I’ve lost everything… first you, then my expulsion from the Dojo, then from my swarm…”

“You’ve never lost me. That’s the problem. You need to let me go,” the Machop whispered. “Forgive yourself, and you will be free.”

“If I do that, though, I’ll never see you again,” Cynthia whimpered, wiping a tear from her eye with her right forearm.

“You haven’t seen me for years,” Mac confirmed. “It’s been too long to hold on to me.” The Scyther finally gave in, hanging her head low and beginning another long silence.

“You know our promise, Mac?” Cynthia asked without looking up.

“I do, Cynth. And I haven’t broken it.”

“Neither have I, Mac. I’ve always loved you.”

After an indistinguishable amount of time in the dark, Cynthia finally stopped crying and looked up to see, indeed, that Mac wasn’t there. Nobody was, in fact – it was the full moon. The Scyther then picked herself up the ground, dusted off her legs and began leaving the cave, passing by all of her childhood memories of the place. Her memories of Mac, however, would never leave her. Of that she was certain.

Epilogue

The warm sunlight was welcome on the newly awakened face of the Scyther. Cynthia turned her head towards the sky after leaving the cave, as if to acknowledge that she had finally left all of her guilt and anger behind. The cave and all it represented was no longer a part of her life, the dojo a relic. Slowly, she wandered into the forest, prepared to rejoin her swarm, not through force, but through conversation. She knew this would guarantee that she would not be leader, however she no longer needed to be a brute bound by strict rules. She wanted to be what she never had been before.

Free.

 

Claimed. Here there be Alaskapigeon. Grawr.

 

Intro: Wow. This is one of the best intros I've read on any URPG story. Good job. We start off with a Scyther who has been kicked out of it's clan. She is weak, alone, and friendless. Everything is well described, and her personality is already beginning to show. Great job. Full points on this section.

Plot: Amazing. No question. A Scyther is kicked out of her swarm, goes to Krokka tunnel to train with her old friends, and then after a series of flashbacks, leaves. At the end, I was shellshocked. This is one of the best stories I've read on any fanfic website. Good job. I don't even have enough words to tell you how good this was. Wow.

Dialogue: Another great section. All of your dialogue flowed well, it seemed realistic and natural, and it expressed your character's well. It did exactly what great dialogue is supposed to: Develop characters, and push a plot along. The only problem with yours, was a few minor errors I'll point out in the next section.

Grammar: There were a few places where you forgot to connect the dialogue with a speaing action, like here:

That period should be a comma:

But those places were few and far between. You had a few misspelled words, like you spelled fetal foetal, but I think those were mostly typos. A few times, you didn't capitalize moves (like Dynamic Punch), which you are supposed to do, but that only occured a couple times. Everything else looks good, and even if it didn't, this section wouldn't affect your grade too much.

Detail: You described everything in your story really well. You remembered to describe all the Pokemon, the scenes your story took place in, and all the moves the Pokemon used. The only Pokemon you didn't describe perfectly, was the Caterpie at the beginning, but even mentioning that is just me being nitpicky. Everything else is great. From telling me about how reptilian Scythers like the sun, to the icy peaks of the mountains. 50 POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR! In other words, full points. Remember in future stories, to always describe everything. Especially if you have a human character in the future. For me at least, Pokemon are easier, because I don't have to remember what clothes they are wearing and everything. Keep doing this well at describing things, and sooner or later, you'll have a Dragonite, or something equally awesome.

Length: Scyther requires a minimum of 30k, and you have 32.5k, so you're fine on length.

Reality: I didn't see any problems with realism in this story. Everything fit together nicely, and it all made sense.

Personal Feelings: Honestly, I loved your story so much, I don't want to make you wait for the outcome any longer.

Outcome: Scyther...(What do you think?) captured.

Your story was amazing, and for that, I bestow upon you, this Scyther:



Have fun with it!

 

:blush:

Thanks, Pigeon! For the grade, the Scyther and the compliments ::kiss: