Outbreak

Outbreak​

Author's Note: Not much action is suppose to be in this first chapter. As the story progresses, more and more stuff will be revealed (duh) Hope you enjoy this. Also, I need this graded before the Summer Gift Station begins/ends.

“Get away from me.” I screamed as an old pale-looking man grabbed my shoulder. He was moaning something, but I didn’t care. This guy was seriously scaring the crap out of me. He had this old rotten smell that was giving me a headache. It smelt like onion mixed with cat piss. I was so close to throwing up. What scared me the most was his ghostly white eyes. They showed no emotion at all. No sign of life or anything. It was really disturbing. His cold hand slid down my arm; getting tighter and tighter the lower he went. I kept trying to pull away, but his strength was incredible for a man his age. I didn’t want to hurt him, but he was sure as hell hurting me. His bottom jaw dropped open and his mouth was going towards my arm. He made a gagging sound, sending out another foul smell. This one was more repulsive then the last smell. It took those two smells and threw in the gym smell after everyone comes in from working out and mixed it all with a big pile of crap.

I raised my left arm over my head and slammed it as hard as I could onto the old man’s head. I felt bad, but I didn’t want this creep on me. I felt his grip loose a bit and took this as my opportunity to pull my arm away. It had worked. I managed to slip my arm away from the man as he fell to the ground. I didn’t stop to see if he was alright, because quite frankly, I didn’t give a damn. I was not sure what he wanted, but in a way, I was glad he didn’t get it.

I continued walking home, trying to forget the incident that had just taken place. I didn’t feel like filing a report for three reasons. One, I doubt I was going to see him ever again. Two, the police in New York had way too many cases to handle to look too much into this. Three, I just wanted to forget what just happened and move on. I felt a cold drop of water fall from the sky onto my face. I looked up and not sure what I was expecting to see. Another drop of water fell from the sky, landing in my directly in the middle of my left eye. I rubbed my eye, which caused my eye to start burning a little bit. I pulled out my dark grey cell phone trying to see my reflecting in my phone. I couldn’t see too well since the light on the post above me was flickering on and off. I squinted my right eye to try and get a better look, but it was no good. I began walking again as it began to rain. I saw a familiar sign that read “Mako’s Café” that was flashing. It was a bright red and blue neon color. I reached out for the door and opened it up. It felt sort of sticky and grimy.

“Hey Cameron!” A large man behind the counter called out as he waved towards me. His bald head was always shining which always made me laugh. It drew my attention away from his hairy mustache. I smiled and waved back.

“Hey Mr. Moriagi!” I said back.

“What are you doing out so late, and where’s Shadow?” He asked, sounding a bit worried.

“I just got out of work about an hour ago and headed home, he must be still up waiting for me.” I responded.

“You get out of work this late?” He asked, raising his right bushy eyebrow.

“No, not usually, but there was some party and we were asked to stay late to attend their needs.” I said, rolling my eyes. “I hate that job, but right now it’s all I got. It’s been a long night.”

“Tell me about it.” Mr. Moriagi grumbled, wiping his hands on his apron. “We had this strange customer who was attacking another one of my customers. He tried to bite him or something. The whole time he was doing that, he kept mumbling something, but I couldn’t put it together.”

“Weird,” I said, rubbing my chin, “did he smell bad?” He looked at me and raised his eyebrow again.

“Now that you mention it, he did smell weird, but it wasn’t too bad, why though?” He asked as he put down the glass he was cleaning.

“Just wondering.” I answered. I knew my response sounded stupid, but I shrugged it off. “Well I got to get going, I’ll just take a cappuccino and be on my way.”

“Thought so,” He said grinning, “Started it the moment I saw you. Be careful on your way home. Sixteen year olds like you should definitely not be out at two in the morning. ” He said as he handed me a plastic cup filled with a vanilla smelling liquid. The smell usually calmed me down. I gave him three dollars and was about to walk out when he called out to me again. “You left your jacket here yesterday.” He said, tossing me a dark grey hoodie jacket. I unzipped it and tossed it on. I put the hood over my messy, dark brown hair.

“Thanks!” I called back and smiled as I walked out the door into the rain. About thirty minutes later finally arrive to my brother’s apartment, which was on the highest floor. I reached into my pocket and realized that there was a hole inside my right pocket of my black dress pants. I sighed deeply and rolled my eyes. This night was not going well at all. I really didn’t want to wake my brother up, especially since he had to wake up in a couple of hours to go to work.

Then I remembered something. A smile formed on my face as I reached into my left pants pocket. I grabbed a small, sharp, metal object from my pocket. I couldn’t believe that I had actually put the key into this pocket. I don’t remember why I did, but my pocket didn’t have a hole in it earlier. I put the key into the doorknob and twisted it. I heard a soft bark as I entered the room, then I was surprised by a black dog Pokémon with two large horns and a small skull shaped object on his chest. His arrow shaped tail wagged happily from side to side. Shadow jumped in onto me, knocking me off my feet. He started licking my face over and over again.

“Get off me!” I said, playfully shoving him. I went into my room, the demon looking dog following close behind. I turned on my plasma screen television that I had received for my birthday last year. I flipped through the channels until something caught my eye. A bright flashing red light was going on and off on the news channel. Shadow barked out loud, calling me towards the window. I rushed to the window and saw more red flashing lights on several news towers. I went back to my bed and raised the volume.

“This is Veronica Meyers with an important news flash.” A young woman, maybe in her mid twenties, said. She had beautiful auburn colored hair. The reading glasses that she wore made her look more sophisticated with the red dress she was wearing. “Local authorities have sent out an evacuation notice. Earlier today there was an outbreak of ODSL. ODSL, which is what they're calling it, are microscopic organisms designed to sustain life. This was supposed to be a simple cure to cleanse the body of deadly germs or diseases. It was supposed to replace the destroyed object with itself, but instead it duplicates itself and destroys the body. This outbreak is airborne and locals are asked to leave immediately. Not much else was said about this incident. So far, Rochester, New York is the only infected area. When more information comes in, you’ll hear it here first. This is Veronica Meyers with the important news flash.”​

I got off my bed and ran to my brother’s room. I was sure that he didn’t know what was going on. I opened his door, but found his bed empty. I heard a loud banging sound coming from the roof above. I wasn’t sure what it was, but I had this strong urge to check it out. It was the kind of urge that you see in movies that people get when they are about to open a closet, knowing that some creature lurks inside. I walked out of the apartment and headed towards the stairs that led to the roof. Shadow was barking loudly besides me. I pushed the door open and slowly walked up the stairs. When I finally reached the doors leading to the roof, I took several deep breaths before opening it up. I placed one foot outside, sticking my head out to do a quick examination of the area.

I didn’t see anything. In fact, it was pretty quiet, which was the first sign that something bad was about to happen. I walked out further, the door behind me slamming shut. I quickly jumped and faced the door, turning back quickly to face the front. I remembered in movies that when a door slams shut and you turn to face it, something always catches you off guard when you turn back around. I heard a loud screeching sound coming from behind a grey tin vent. It was followed by a loud banging sound that I had heard earlier. I slowly approached it. I saw Shadow baring his sharp pointed teeth as he let out a low, deep growl.

A small, purple, half scorpion, half bat Pokémon jumped out from behind the vent. Its long blue wings spread out, making it look bigger than it actually was. The pincers on its forelegs snapped open and closed as its segmented, poison stinger swung back and forth. His long, pointed ears twitched from side to side as his almond shaped eyes were dead locked onto us. He, like Shadow, bared his fangs.

He launched forward, aiming his poisonous tail towards me. Purple needle shaped objects ejected themselves from his tail as they headed towards me. Shadow let out a loud roar as a bluish, white flame formed in his mouth. The temperature rose dramatically as he let loose a stream of immensely hot flames. The flames quickly disintegrated the Poison Sting Attack.

Shadow then decided it was his turn to take a shot. He created small orbs around his body as he concentrated on the Gligar. The orbs grew about two thirds the size of a baseball. The orbs were the same color as his flames that he just released, except this attack was the direct opposite of fire, it was Ice. He launched the orbs towards the Gligar, but the Scorpion Pokémon disappeared and reappeared a couple of feet away, evading the attack. The Gligar jumped forward and did a small back flip, slamming his tail onto the ground, sending out an ‘X’ shaped green attack. It hit Shadow head on. The speed of the attack was unbelievable.

Shadow skidded back a couple of feet, but stood his ground. Gligar saw this as his chance to attack again, he crossed his claws together as they began to glow a deep purple color. He brought his claws down, but as he did, I saw Shadow take off and hit Gligar hard. He had moved at an even faster speed that the Gligar had. I knew that move was Sucker Punch, and it was incredibly fast. The poisonous Pokémon was shocked at what just happened, but launched his Cross Poison attack. A dark purple color with sludge coming off of it was headed straight towards us. Shadow lowered his head and arched his back. As soon as the attack was about fifteen feet away, I saw Shadow’s tail glow a bright white color, instantly turning grey. He slammed his steel tail at the oncoming Cross Poison attack and launched it back at the Gligar.

Shadow lowered his jaw and let out a stream of red hot flames and quickly lit up the ‘X’ shaped attack. The blazing ‘X’ hit the Gligar square on. It shrilled a little, but that shrill turned into a loud roar as it charged forward. It raised its purple, poisonous tail. The tail began to glow a bluish color as a deep blue liquid dripped from his tail as he grew closer. With amazing speed, he slammed it onto Shadow’s back.

The fire dog yelped in pain. With his mouth already wide open, I saw a ball of orange fire in his mouth form. Then within seconds, released a wind of flames all over the place where Gligar was flying in. I could feel the intense heat from the flames.

Wiping the sweat off of my forehead, I finally gave Shadow a command. Shadow and I had a close, special bond and we always knew what the other was thinking. “Finish this with Fire Blast!” I called out.

Shadow nodded and jumped into the air, sending out a starrish looking flame at the Gligar. The Scorpion Pokémon twitched his ears, looked at the flames, and took off into the night sky.

I heard a moaning sound coming from behind me. I quickly jump-turned and let out a girlish shriek. It was another pale looking man and three women were dragging themselves towards me. The woman on the far end had blood all over her face. The man had his arm bent inward. It looked really sickening.

Shadow knew what we were dealing with and launched a Flamethrower at full blast. The flames were a light bluish color, and the heat it gave off was unbearable. They were screaming and moaning, this lasted for about twenty seconds. When Shadow had stopped attacking, there was nothing left but a couple of burnt limbs. There was half a face still intact. I forced myself over towards it and saw a familiar deep scar on the cheek. I knew that it was Mr. Mortenshaw from the second floor. I heard another terrifying sound. I looked up and saw at least eight moaning zombie looking humans coming my way. I looked behind me and saw that there was another building. It was two stories so I could probably jump it.

“Let’s go Shadow!” I called out as I took off running at full speed and jumping off the edge. Shadow landed perfectly on the other side, I however was not that fortunate. I landed on the edge and lost my balance. I closed my eyes and waited for me to fall to my demise. After a few seconds of waiting, I opened my eyes and saw the pinkish, purple scorpion Pokémon holding onto my shirt with one of his claws. He pulled me up onto the roof. I let out a deep sigh. I looked at the Gligar. I knew we were going to need more help, and air power would be great. “Do you want to come along with us?” I asked the Gligar. “We could really use your help!”​

 

Ready for Grading:

Pokemon Attempted: Gligar

10k to 20k Character Range

Character Count (Without Spaces): 1o,794

Character Count (With Spaces): 13,331​

 

Claimed. Sorry, I was hoping to get to this sooner.

 

Intro: This is a good intro. It's interesting and drew me into the story, the only things I ask for in an intro, so good job here.

Plot: The plot was awesome. I like Pokemon stories that don't follow the same old 'trainer on a journey' plot. The zombie thing is really cool and should make this story an interesting read. Great job here.

Dialogue: Their isn't a ton of dialogue, but what you have is simple and doesn't have too many errors. The errors you do have are outlined below.

Grammar:

Whenever you have dialogue that ends with a period and has a describing verb after it, you use a comma.

That should be:

Here you need to chaqnge that semi colon to a comma:

Like so:

Loose should be loosen. That might be just a spelling error, but just in case:

It should be:

Doubt should be doubted:

Like so:

Replace this 'and' with a comma:

Like this:

The 'A' needs to be lowercase. You make mistakes like this a few times, so watch out in the future.

Like so:

Detail: Your detail is really good. I found myself able to easily imagine the setting, the Pokemon, and the Pokemon's battle moves. The only thing you forgot was to describe your character. All I know about him is that he's wearing a gray sweatshirt. I want to know hair color, eye color, age, more clothing, things like that. All of those things help me to paint a picture of your main character.

Length: You needed a minimum of 10k and you had 13k, so you're fine.

Reality: Nothing didn't make sense in the context of your story, so you're fine.

Personal Feelings: I liked your story and I am excited to read more. Zombies, Pokemon, and a mysterious main character? Oh my.

Capture: Gligar....captured.

You need to describe your main character more and work on your grammar a bit, but other than that, you're doing awesome. I'm sorry your grade took so long. I completely forgot I had claimed this story. 0_0 So without any more wait, here's your Gligar:



Here's an apology cookie, as well, since it took me so long to grade this:

 

Thanks for the grade, I'll start on the next part, now since I have time.