On the beach

Author: Pman
Pokemon: After a Magikarp
Status: nedds grading
Length: 5-6k
Estimated length: 5k

Disclaimer: I wrote this about 5 years ago....couldn't find anything that says i can't use it but it does not relate to pokemon

EDIT: it is now set in pokemon world and has a minor reference to magikarp...not sure if this counts though either


On the beach, a typical Australian beach with glistening sand, surfboards, spectators, surfers, people selling ice-cream and lifesaver’s bustling everywhere, sat Rob Dandeloin, a bronzed man with sun bleached hair and a lanky frame. It was a competition day so at the centre of the beach, on a tall lifesaver’s chair holding a black microphone, sat a young announcer.


Rob went out to warm up in the surf. On his first wave, a really easy one, Rob fell; Just wiping out seemed to take all Rob’s energy, he realised that there was damage to his board so he walked up the golden sand to change it. His spare board had just been snapped in half by none other than his enemy, Arty Meritso.
Rob raced off to his shaper, Andrew McWilliams, who luckily lived in the ramshackle town and had nearly finished making Rob’s next board. Andrew had said “the board will be ready in ten minutes time”. Rob had to drive back to the beach but he couldn’t find a parking spot as usual, after carrying the board the two kilometres to the beach from where he managed to pull up, Rob was exhausted. He needed a rest before the final of the “Billabong Pro”.


After two hours resting Rob was ready to surf. The announcer called “Arty Meritso and Rob Dandeloin to the water. You have 5 minutes before surfing time starts”. Rob and Arty paddled out in a rip and waited for the hooter that signified the start of their one hour surfing time. Theyt sat, waiting for the first wave with the Magikarp nibbling their feet. Rob was in a perfect position for surfing when the hooter did go. Rob noticed his middle fin had come off as he rode his first wave so he stayed lying on his board and cruised all the way to the shore. He selected one of his standby fins and attached it to the board. Back in the water Rob stood up with well practiced ease. Starting out with a roundhouse cutback to bring himself up to norm. He then got going with an alley oop (a tail first 360 air spin) followed by a frontside air reverse. After heading out the back, Rob stayed as Arty did a backside 360 before wiping out. Rob replied by attempting a flip, this could only mean he was getting very desperate or had so much room it wasn’t funny. After landing the flip, a feat never achieved before or since, Rob pulled off the wave and used a rip to go out back. Arty caught a wave but only managed a roundhouse cutback before he was surfing foam so he did a foam climb before cutting off the wave. Arty snapped his board on the way back out and had to race to his quiver. In the time Arty was on the beach Rob caught a wave and stood up, only to find that he had caught a crushing monster usually called a dumper and immediately wiped out. Rob realised that this called for fraught measures. Rob had no choice but to catch a wave, thinking it was a mistake and wishing he had a choice but he didn’t, that turned out to be the best of the day. In the tube the water was blasting down at him and then he heard a pop followed by two more and shot out the end. Rob pulled off an alley oop, roundhouse cutback and backside 360 combination. Rob surfed a reverse surge back out as Arty hit the water again. Rob caught a wave but Arty was there plummeting in on him. Rob didn’t notice and tried a chop hop as Arty got threateningly closer so as to punch Rob in the mouth. From the beach the announcer shouted through the loud speakers “Arty Meritso, one warning” but Arty ignored it and punched him again. The announcer then calls “Arty Meritso please return to the beach for a ten minute penalty”. Arty then surfed away leaving rob to swim in when he found his board missing. Rob was in strife but luckily a second hand board that fit him was at the surf shop across the road. The shop owner said that the board was Rob’s till the competition was over if he would sign it afterwards. Rob agreed and raced back to the surf as the ten minute hooter went. Rob jumped in just as Arty stood up to race to the surf. The golden sand seemed to be against Arty, dragging him back like mud as he raced for the surf. Rob paddled but got hit in the face by a breaking wave. Grabbing the board Rob paddled out again as the announcer said “Rob Dandeloin leads by 1 point”. Rob was quite surprised at this announcement and realised that he had to pull an amazing trick out of his sleeve. Catching his next wave Rob stood slowly, the wave glaring at him as if daring him to rise to his feet; Rob didn’t care and just stood ignoring everything but the wave. He and the board were one as they moved through the water. Rushing down the face of the wave Rob executed his bottom turn and pulled up the wave toward the crest. Pulling off a grabrail turn; Rob left the wave. Settling back into the water and paddling out again Rob watched Arty fall of the board. Back out at the sandbar Rob sat waiting for the right moment. The ten second hooter sounded as Rob started paddling for his last chance. Arty went at the same instant but failed to catch the elusive wave. The final hooter sounded as Rob landed an air grab. Yelling in jubilation as he rode the wave in Rob knew that he had won the event.


At the trophy presentation Rob realised he hadn’t prepared a speech. When he was called up to receive his trophy Rob just panted”, I’m really ecstatic about winning this event. I really owe it all to my shaper and glasser Andrew McWilliams as well as the surf shop across the road, without whom I wouldn’t be here today. I would also like to take this opportunity to thank my parents for being behind me all the way.” Rob walked down from the podium and over the road. Grabbing a black felt tip marker pen he signed the board he had ridden before giving it back to the shop owner.

Later that day in Andrew’s shop Rob decided to order eight new boards instead of the two he had been going to order. From a wildcard to a champion The Australian Rob Dandeloin decided to live on the World Tour from then on.

 

it must relate to Pokemon in some way

 

ok...If i edit it to include some magikarp in a minor way as I'm now doing, does that count


I misread that post as can't include the one your after earlier

 

Mentioning the Pokemon isn't going to be enough, it has to play some pivotal role in the story. And we also need some sort of effort where your the main character tries to catch said Pokemon.
Your other story also has a flaw, where the Pokemon you want is already on your team.

Suggestions:
1- Read the rules a bit more carefully.
2- Read some other stories. The Examples currently stickied on top are a good start.
3- To start out, pretend you are going out to battle and catch that Pokemon. How would you write that?

Hope this helps get you on the right track.

~Jack~