(NWC) (Ready for Grading) A Hop and a Skip...

Here's my story, A Hop and a Skip... It is my first URPG story.

This is an entry into the Newbie Writing Competition.

This story is complete and ready for grading/entry into the competition.

Attached to this post is a PDF version of the story, along with a Word Document version. Please do not read the forum version if you can; it is only there as a last resort (it looks horrible compared to the other formats).

PDF Version (high quality)

Word Document Version (slightly lower quality)

Thanks for reading; please comment and tell me what I did wrong.

Pokémon Wanted: Shellos (to Grader - I'm not going for the other 'mon captured in the story)
Needed Character Count: 5000 - 10000
Current Character Count: 44,005

A Hop and a Skip...​

"James, get down here!" James' mother yelled up the stairs to the second story of their house and James' bedroom. Within a minute, James had walked down the stairs and walked over to his mother. James was a thirteen year-old teenager, with short, brown hair, which he hadn't brushed yet that day, pale skin, and a slim physique. His face was rather normal: green eyes, moderately-thick eyebrows, and a slightly small nose, but with one thing you couldn't forget – his determined smile. Today, he was wearing a green t-shirt and shorts – it was hot out today.
"What do you need, Mom?" James asked with a blank expression on his face. His slightly- cracked voice showed his age.
"We are having stock issues in the shop...we are almost out of the special fertilizer everyone uses around here, and if we ran out right now, we would lose a lot of sales. Would you mind heading to the main store in Goldenrod and bringing back some small packs of the stuff in your backpack? It should hold us over until the next shipment comes in a few days from now," James' mom told him.

James' family ran a flower shop, owned by the flower shop in Goldenrod. Of course, James' family got a large cut of the profits, so they were able to make a living off of it. Not being able to sell their product would be an obvious issue.
"Alright, Mom, but I might not be back until tomorrow. It's a long run to Goldenrod," James notified his mom.
"Alright, well, in that case, take some money and Skitty with you. If you get tired, remember, you can always rest up at a Pokémon Center," James' mom told James as she handed him some money and Skitty's Poké Ball.
"Well, I'll be off now. See you soon!" James yelled to his mom as he ran off to Route 30.

Once James was on the city limits, James took Skitty out of her Poké Ball. He began to explain what he was doing.
"Hey Skitty, how have you been doing?" James asked Skitty.
"Ski-skitty!" she responded happily.
"Well, good, because we are going to Goldenrod City. Mom needs a shipment of fertilizer," James told the family Pokémon.
"Ski-tty!" Skitty announced happily that she would be out of the house for once.
"Alright, let's get going!" James told Skitty.

They walked along the beaten path for about five minutes. Green grass lined the path and waved in the wind. They were a decent amount into the route, and they knew that they were away from the city. Suddenly, a man with light-blue hair and silver clothing ran seemingly from out of nowhere and shoved James onto the ground!
"Get out of my way, kid!" the mysterious man yelled at him as he shoved him over.
"What the heck are you doing-ahh!" James yelled as he was shoved over. When he hit the ground, he was lucky to have just a couple bruises on his legs. The man had ran away, but why had he assaulted the boy? Was he running from someone?

Skitty ran up to James right after he hit the ground.
"Ski, ski, skitty?!" the Pokémon said frantically as it looked all over James.
"Don't worry, Skitty, I'm fine." James told the Pokémon as he got up. He walked farther along, until he was about three quarters of the way. At that point, he saw a Shellos. Its back was blue and its feet were green.
"Whoa, is that a Shellos? I thought those only lived in Sinnoh. I saw them on TV, and they specifically noted that they have only been found in Sinnoh. Weird..." James remarked on the unnatural sighting.
"Shellos!" the Sea Slug Pokémon said happily as it saw James. It looked towards him.
"Whoa, it noticed me!" James said, startled. He walked slowly towards the Shellos as he bent down. Eventually, he reached the Shellos, and it didn't move. He reached out towards the Shellos, and it didn't move away.
"She-los!" it said joyfully as James touched its head. He then began to rub its head.
"Shel, shel, shellos!" it laughed.
Then, a Ledyba flew in, mad that they were in its habitat. The Ledyba tried to use a Comet Punch on James, but Skitty and Shellos intervened.
"SKI-TTY!" Skitty yelled as it used Tackle on the Ledyba, without any order from James.
"Shel-LOS!" the wild Shellos yelled as it hit the Ledyba with a Water Pulse. Both combined took down the Ledyba in one strong move.
"Whoa, I would have been a goner...thanks guys. I really owe you one," James thanked the two Pokémon. "So, Shellos, how would you like to travel with me and Skitty?"
"She-shel-los!" it yelled jubilantly as it nuzzled his leg. James picked up Shellos and put it on his shoulder.
"Alright...let's go!" James told his two Pokémon as they ran off.

James walked into Violet City, happy as could be, even with the bruises on his leg. He sees the police investigating a crime.
"Hey, officers, what happened here?" he asked a police officer.
"A robbery. Several boxes of Poké Balls were stolen." the officer responded.
"What did he look like?" James asked, with a worried tone.
"Blue hair, silver suit. At least that's what the eyewitnesses say."
"Oh crap, I saw him! He shoved me over on Route 30! He was running as fast as he could away from here!" James responded, realizing how bad that guy actually was.
"Alright, thank you, young man," the officer said hastily. He radioed the other police, saying, "Officers, we have a lead. The suspect may be heading down Route 30, and could be past Cherrygrove City already. He has also comitted another crime, one of assault and battery. This man is dangerous, don't be hesitant to use force if necessary."

James decided to head to the Pokémon Center to allow his leg to heal. He sat down, and talked to his Pokémon.
"Shellos, Skitty, so what do you guys think, interesting so far?" he asked his Pokémon.
"Skitty!" "Shellos!" they responded in affirmative unison.
"Good, 'cause it isn't getting any less interesting from here. Man, the world is so beautiful," he remarked on his trip. James walked over to the nurse at the counter and asked for a room. His request was granted, and he went into his room. He didn’t know the full extent of his injuries, so he figured that it was best if he rested. Him and his Pokémon slept soundly the whole night.

James yawned and streched as he woke up from his slumber. It was a bright new day outside. He walked downstairs and picked up his Skitty. His Shellos had slept with him, as it had no Poké Ball yet. They walked outside, and set out for Azalea Town.
"Skitty, Shellos, how did you sleep?" James asked them as he released Skitty from its Ball on the city limits.
"Ski-tty," she said, indicating a so-so night.
"Shel-shellos!" Shellos happily said, indicating that it had a great night's sleep and was ready to set out today.

They decided to take a quick detour to the Ruins of Alph.
"Guys, I'm a bit creeped out by this place...it's just weird. Anyone want to stay?"
"Shel," Shellos told him no.
"Ski," Skitty also replied with a no.
"Okay, let's get the heck out of here!" James said as he ran out of the place.

James headed down Route 32, while looking at all the wonderful Pokémon. The grass was rather tall, but he was careful to avoid the tallest parts. There was also some moss growing on the base of some trees.
"Look at that...there's a Bidoof, a Shinx, and a Starly...wait, what? Those are all Pokémon I've only seen on TV! Those Pokémon live in Sinnoh, not in Johto! What is going on here? ...eh, it doesn't matter; the ecosystem should fix itself. It did for the infamous Red Gyrados, it should here too," James remarked on the weird Pokémon in his home region.
James and his Pokémon saw a Pidgey fighting a Starly for a few pieces of fruit on the ground. The Starly knocked out the Pidgey with a couple well-placed attacks.
"...why is this happening?" James asked.

Down the road, James was confronted by a Trainer.
"Hey, let's battle!" the other Trainer said. He was slightly taller and older than James, with blonde hair and a battle-hardened face. He was wearing a gray t-shirt and jeans, which didn't stand out.
"I'm sorry, I'm not a Trainer," James replied.
"But you've got Pokémon!" the Trainer responded.
"Ah, what the heck? Hey, what's your name?"
"Jason. And yours?"
"James. Let's do this. Shellos...go," James thought how stupid this was, and how he was going to battle based on what he saw Shellos do and what he saw on TV.
"Alright, Vulpix, let's go!" Jason told his Pokémon.
"Cool...okay, Shellos...tackle the Vulpix or something," James told his Shellos.
"Los...shel?" Shellos asked in confusion, as it didn't know how to use Tackle.
"Um...try that water move you did before...what was it called...Water Pulse!" James told Shellos.
"Vulpix, dodge it!" Jason yelled at his Vulpix, but it was too late – the Water Pulse made direct contact with the Vulpix. The Vulpix was pretty shaken by the hit, but not knocked out. "Vulpix, try an Ember!" Jason told his Vulpix.
Shellos was too slow, and he was hit by the Ember. However, it quickly shook it off as it was a Water Pokémon. "Shel-los," it said as it shook itself.
"Okay, Shellos, try another Water Pulse!" James told Shellos.
"Quick, dodge it this time, and then use Ember!" Jason told his Vulpix just in time. It dodged the Water Pulse, and used Ember. The Ember also missed, as it was moving too fast to aim carefully.
"One more time, Shellos! Water Pulse!" Shellos let out a bigger Water Pulse than before, which hit the Vulpix rather quickly. The Vulpix fainted, and James had won.
"Woohoo, I won!" James picked up Shellos, and hugged him.
"Shellos, shel-shel!" it said joyfully.
"Alright, that was some nice fighting out there. Here's your prize," Jason said as he handed James his prize money.
"Wait, I get money?" James asked.
"Yeah, when you win battles, the loser has to give a little money to the winner. It's a sportsmanship thing," Jason explained.
"Well, thanks. I'll see you around," James said to Jason.
"You too, next time I see you I'll win," Jason told James.
"We'll see about that," James said with a smile. He walked away with Shellos on his shoulder.

James and his Pokémon were nearing Union Cave. The dark entrance loomed in front of them. They walked inside. It took their eyes a few seconds to get used to the darkness.
"Uh...it's a bit scary in here," James quivered.
"Shel, shel, los-shel," Shellos tried to comfort him.
"Ski-sk-itty," Skitty said as it nudged his leg.
"Hey, thanks guys. I don't know where I'd be if it weren't for you," James told his Pokémon as he hugged them both. They kept walking along until they saw a Chatot. It was furious, as it was nurturing an Egg.
"Whoa, that guy doesn't look happy! Ahh!" James yelled. Without a second thought, Skitty lept into battle.
"Ty-skit!" Skitty yelled as it performed a Tackle and then a few Faint Attacks on the Chatot. The Chatot fainted, falling to the ground, dazed. The Chatot's partner poked its eyes out, and glared at them.
"Oh, I'm sorry," James told the other Chatot. Not that it would matter. It ducked and cowered, afraid that it or its Egg would be hurt. James just walked away, fearful that any more wild Pokémon interaction would just end badly.

"Hm...even here, Sinnoh Pokémon have replaced Johto Pokémon. It's so sad..." James said to himself. "Look, there's a Bronzor. And a Bronzong...man, I am such a Pokémon geek."

After about ten minutes of more traveling, James and his Pokémon made it out of the cave. It was a very short walk to Azalea Town. The grass was a lighter shade of green here than in Cherrygrove, and there was a sense of calm that permeated the town. James walked into the Poké Mart.
"Hi, can I get a few Poké Balls?" James asked the clerk.
"Sure, that will be 600 PokéDollars.," the female clerk responded.
"Here you go," James said as he handed the clerk his money.
"Alright, here's your Poké Balls, have a nice day!" she said as she gave him his Poké Balls in a nice little bag. After James had left the Poké Mart, he noticed that something was wrong in the town.

An old man was being shoved away by another man with light blue hair. James walked up to the man, and noted that he had a large, stylized "G" on his shirt.
"What the heck do you have against old people?!" James asked the blue-haired man.
"Ah, he's getting in the way of blowing up this place," the man said in response.
"What?! Who would want to blow up a place like this?!" James asked in astonishment.
"This town is too much of a harbor for Johto Pokémon. The residents here are sheltering them," the man told James.
"Well...what...what is wrong with that?!" James asked, still blown away at this man's incoherent thinking.
"Oh, I guess it wouldn't be a problem to tell you the master plan now. It's too late for you to fix anything. Anyway, Team Galactic is trying to remove all native Johto Pokémon species in order to replace them with Sinnoh Pokémon. Sinnoh Pokémon are more powerful, and they are easier to control. By "control", I mean, "forcefully persuade", if you catch my drift. However, Johto Pokémon aren't as receptive to this method of controlling, so that could be a problem. After all Johto Pokémon have been removed, we will be able to control almost any Pokémon just lying around. An army of Pokémon will always be at our disposal. We will be able to take over Johto. It shouldn't be hard," the Galactic Grunt explained.
"Oh...oh, jeez," James said as he ran into the close-by Pokémon Center to call the police.
"Heh, too late for him," the Galactic Grunt said as he set down a metal box and set a timer on it to five minutes. He then ran a safe distance away, just outside of the Union Cave entrance. "This should be good," he said as he lounged against a boulder.

"Hello, what is your emergency?" the operator asked.
"There's a guy here threatening to blow up the place! We need police!" James yelled frantically into the phone.
"Okay, the police are on their way," the operator said.
"Th...thank you," James said, panting from speaking so fast. He hung up the phone and ran outside. He had ran all the way to the western end of the town when he heard motorcycles roaring down the road that went to Goldenrod City through Ilex Forest. He watched as the police defused the bomb, and then ran in to talk to the police.
"I saw the man who did it!" he yelled at the officers.
"Kid, are you sure?" one officer asked him.
"Yes, he even said he was going to do it! When I looked back at him when I ran into the Pokémon Center to call you, he looked like he was running towards Union Cave!" James told the officers.
"Okay, let's go!" one officer yelled as he jumped onto his motorcycle. He sped off towards Union Cave.

Two minutes later, the police returned, one of them walking the Galactic Grunt along, who was handcuffed.
"Thank you, without your help we wouldn't have caught this criminal," the officer walking the Grunt along told James.
"You're a-" the Grunt tried to say to James.
"You have the right to remain silent," the officer told the Grunt.

James walked over to the old man who was being shoved by the Galactic Grunt earlier. "Hey, are you okay?" he asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine, thanks. Thanks for what you did back there. My name's Kurt," he told James.
"Yeah, no problem," James told Kurt.
"I'm not quite as up to fighting as I used to be. Only a couple years ago Team Rocket attacked this town...I was up to fighting then. But it's amazing how two years gets to a person. So, where was I...oh yes, I remember now. Since I'm not quite as fit for going out to do things as I used to be, I need you to do something for me. I heard that Team Galactic has a base in Ilex Forest. I doubt it's true, but would you mind investigating for me? The police are already gone, and I don't want to bother them with what's probably a false lead," Kurt asked James.
"Uh, sure," James agreed to do the task for Kurt.
"Thanks, young man," Kurt said to James.

James walked into the gate building that lead into Ilex Forest.
"Hey, kid, stop there. It's dangerous in Ilex Forest. It might be a good idea to stop here and go back," the male guard said.
"I'm running an errand for Kurt, and I've got Pokémon," James said as he showed the guard his Skitty by his side and his Shellos on his shoulder.
"Okay then, if you think you can handle it, go on through," the guard told James.

"This forest is amazing...isn't it the home of Celebi, the time-traveling Pokémon?" James asked his Pokémon.
"Skitty-ski!" Skitty responded with hopefulness that they would see Celebi.
"Shel..." Shellos figured it wouldn't happen.
"Skit-sk-skitty..." Skitty asked Shellos why it was such a pessimist.
"Shel-shel-los-shel!" Shellos notified Skitty that it was not.
"Okay guys, stop it. It would be wonderful if we saw Celebi, but Shellos is right, it probably won't happen," James told his two Pokémon.
Right then and there, James thought he saw a green shimmer in between the trees. "Nah...no way, it's just my imagination." he thought out loud while shaking his head.

James had been walking around for about ten minutes. He hadn't encountered any Pokémon, which he found odd. Eventually, he came upon a small path behind some trees. He walked down the path, and he found that it lead to a small building. It was seemingly made of steel, and had a a stylized "G" above the double glass doors, the same one as on the Galactic Grunt's shirt.
"Okay, Kurt wasn't joking...I guess Team Galactic really has a base here," James whispered to his Pokémon.
"Shel...shel...lo," Shellos whispered to James with concerns.
"Yeah, I am in way over my head. But there's no going back now, and if I don't do anything, tons of Pokémon won't have a very bright future," James whispered back to Shellos.

James ran up to the side of the building and listened in.
"The grunt with the bomb hasn't reported back yet. It is safe to assume that he was arrested, sir, Charon, sir," a subordinate said to his boss.
"I didn't break out of a high-security prison so that my plan could fail again. Send out another, immediately," commanded Charon, who was apparently the boss in this place.
James ran away from the building and picked up a rock. He threw it through a large window, which shattered upon impact.
Charon stepped outside through the broken window and yelled, "My name is Charon, and you've just made the worst mistake of your life!" Charon sent out a Torterra to attack the three of them.
"Uh...crud...Skitty, Shellos, use Tackle and Water Pulse!" James told his two Pokémon.
"Torterra, use Razor Leaf on the two of them!" Charon yelled. Torterra's attack connected, instantly knocking out James' two Pokémon. The two hit the ground hard, and they didn’t seem like they were getting up.
"Heh, I've got you now, kid," Charon yelled at James.
"Ahh!" James screamed, as he was cornered.
All of a sudden, a cry was heard from above. Latias was here! It flew in and fired a great Dragon Pulse at Charon and Torterra. Charon quickly withdrew Torterra. An explosion occurred, and Charon was thrown far into the distance.

James withdrew the fainted Skitty back into its Poké Ball, and slung the unconscious Shellos over his shoulder. James proceeded to run back to Azalea Town, trying to avoid any other confrontations. Once he got there, he called the police.
"Hello, is this the Goldenrod City police station?" James asked whoever was on the other side of the phone.
"Yes, what do you need?" a police officer asked.
"I have discovered a base owned by Team Galactic, which they have been using for criminal purposes. It is in Ilex Forest."
"Okay, thank you sonny, the police will be right there."

James ran into the Pokémon Center to get his Pokémon healed. Once they were at full strength, James ran back into Ilex Forest in order to point out the Team Galactic base to the cops, with his Pokémon running by his side. He ran into the middle of the forest, when he saw three motorcycles roaring down the path.
"Hey! Policemen! The base is this way!" he yelled to them.
"Are you the one who called us?" one of the police asked.
"Yes," James told them.
"Alright then, show us the way," he yelled back.
James ran down the path to the Team Galactic base, the police having dismounted their motorcycles and following him. When they got there, one of the three policemen took out a megaphone from his backpack and yelled,
"THIS IS THE POLICE. ANYONE WITHIN THE BUILDING WILL BE ARRESTED. COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR HEAD," the officer yelled into the megaphone.
Another one of the officers told James, "Kid, this could get messy. It would be best if you ran off for a few minutes."
James followed those orders, and within a minute or so he was a safe distance away from the building. He heard battles going on. It sounded rough, even from there. Eventually, the battles stopped, and the officers came back from the trail, each holding one Galactic Grunt by the hands.
"They didn't bother to spend a whole lot on employees; there were only three of them," one of the officers told James.
Another chimed in, "Johto will be repopulated with the native Pokémon. We recovered vital information from their facility. However, it will never be quite the same."
The last officer said to the Grunts, "You guys are heartless. Why do you try to pull this crap?"

With his Pokémon by his side, James returned to Azalea Town, feeling great, as he did a good deed. They went to the Pokémon Center, where they rested for fifteen minutes or so. Then, they headed out to Ilex Forest in order to get to Goldenrod City, with Skitty in her ball, and Shellos by his side. About three quarters of the way through the forest, James saw a Burmy, seemingly looking around for some food.
"Hey, look, a Burmy!" James told Shellos. "It looks mad," he added.
The Burmy was wearing a Plant Cloak. It quickly fired a String Shot at Shellos, but Shellos jumped out of the way just in time. James and Skitty also took a few steps away.
James saw that Burmy looked like a Grass-type Pokémon, and realized that using Water Pulse on it wouldn't work very well. "Shellos...I don't know...slap it around, I guess?" James told Shellos.
"SHEL!" it yelled as Shellos hit the Burmy with a hard Mud-Slap.
The Burmy looked disoriented. It tried to tackle Shellos, but it missed by a few feet, landing with a thud and a sad "Bur..."
"Okay, Shellos, use that slapping move again!" James commanded his Shellos.
"Los!" Shellos yelled, as it used Mud-Slap again on the Burmy.
"Bur...bur, my," the Burmy said, as it seemed ready to fall to the ground. It struggled to get up from the hit, but it did. It didn't seem to have the energy in order to make another attack, though.
"Okay, let's go! Poké Ball!" James yelled as he took out a Poké Ball, enlarged it to full size, and threw it at the Burmy. The Ball turned the Burmy into energy and brought it into it. The Ball shook three times, rather violently, and then its button flashed red, indicating a capture.
"All right, we caught it!" James exclaimed as he jumped joyfully. "Woohoo!"
"Sh-sh-shel!" Shellos said, showing its happiness.
"Ah...a Burmy. Can't wait to show Mom," James thought out loud.

James and Shellos, elated from capturing the Burmy, were walking along in Ilex Forest. Within five minutes or so, they were out of the forest. Goldenrod City was in sight, and what a magnificent sight it was. It was a far cry from Cherrygrove City, bustling with people going every which way. The Flower Shop was a bit out of the way, but James went to it and talked to the store owner.
"Oh my, James, is that you?" the store owner asked. Her name was Ms. Hemey. She was a middle-aged lady with brown hair and a caring face. Today, she was wearing her trademark pink apron while moving plant displays around.
"Yes, it is. How have you been doing, Ms. Hemey?" James asked the nice lady.
"Oh, I've been doing fine. How about you?" Ms. Hemey asked James.
"Great, thanks. So, anyway, I need some bags of fertilizer. Whatever the "special" kind is that my mom talks about all of the time. We are almost out of stock back at the shop. It seems to be a very hot product," James explained to Ms. Hemey.
"Oh, okay. I've got the fertilizer right here. Do you have the money to pay for it now?" Ms. Hemey said as she took out a stack of small fertilizer bags.
"Uh...no. Would it be okay if my mom sent you a check?" James asked.
"Sure, no problem," Ms. Hemey told James.
James picked up the small fertilizer bags, a few at a time, and stuck them in his navy blue backpack. It had a few different pockets, making it rather useful on long walks. "Okay, thank you, Ms. Hemey," James thanked her.
"Anytime, James. I'll see you around," Ms. Hemey sent him off.
"You too," James said goodbye to Ms. Hemey.

James decided to head to a bookstore. He wanted a book on Pokémon moves. The automatic door opened, and James walked inside. The walls were lined with bookshelves, and there were tons of smaller shelves dotting the middle of the store.
"Hi, do you guys have any books on what moves different Pokémon can use, and their descriptions?" James asked a clerk.
"Yes, we do. They are over there," the clerk told James as she pointed to a shelf not too far from them.
James walked over to the shelf with the book he wanted.
"This seems perfect. 'Pocket Reference Books: Pokémon Moves & Descriptions'," James thought aloud. He then brought the book to the clerk.
"Hi, I'd like to buy this book." James told the clerk.
"Good, so you picked one?" the clerk asked as she scanned the book's barcode. "That will be 200 PokéDollars," she advised James of the price.
"Okay, thank you," James said to the clerk as he handed her the requisite 200 PokéDollars.
"Thanks for shopping, come back anytime," the clerk told James as she handed him his book.

Before leaving Goldenrod City, James stopped in at the Pokémon Center.
"Hey, can my Pokémon be healed up, please?" James asked the nurse.
"Sure, just give me the Poké Balls, and I'll get that done," the nurse told James.
"Okay, thanks, but one of my Pokémon doesn't have a Ball," James explained to the nurse.
"Oh, that's okay, just hand it to me," the nurse said to James.
"Good, thanks. Take a rest, buddy," James told to Shellos.
James sat down in a chair and waited for his Pokémon to be healed. Within a few minutes, the nurse walked over to James carrying Skitty's Poké Ball and Shellos.
"Thank you," James told the nurse as she handed him Skitty's Ball and Shellos.
The nurse just smiled, nodded her head, and walked away.

James wanted to do one last thing before leaving Goldenrod City.
"I wonder what Burmy is feeling like," James asked himself as he took out Burmy's Poké Ball, enlarged it, and sent Burmy out.
"Burmy?" it immediately asked what was going on.
"Hey Burmy, I caught you, remember? Then I brought you to the Pokémon Center, and got you healed up. Are you feeling okay?"James told Burmy as he sat down.
"Bur-my," it said that it was feeling great.
"Good!" James said to Burmy.
Burmy climbed up James' leg, onto his arm, and then finally his shoulder. It then looked out into the distance. It figured that James couldn't be too bad of a person if he had it healed, and it voiced this thought with a "Bur-my-y-y-bur."
"Hey, thanks," James thanked Burmy.

James finally walked out of Goldenrod City. With Shellos on his shoulder, and Burmy in its Ball, he walked down the path before he was confronted by an older Trainer, probably in his early twenties.
"Hey, hey, let's battle!" the Trainer yelled. He was muscular, with long black hair and a menacing gaze. He was wearing a red shirt and beige shorts that complemented his tanned skin.
James thought before answering. "I'm not a Trainer, but okay, I didn't lose last time, I think I have decent chances of winning again. My name's James, what's yours?" James asked the Trainer.
"My name's Kyle," he said.
"Alright, Flareon, let's go!" Kyle yelled as he enlarged one of his many Poké Balls and threw it out onto the grass.
"Okay, Shellos, it's your time to shine," James said to Shellos.
"SHELLOS!" it cried as it hopped off of James' shoulder and onto the soft grass.
"Okay, let's go Shellos, hit it with a good Water Pulse!" James commanded Shellos.
Shellos leaped into action and fired a Water Pulse with a great "Shel-LOS!"
"Flareon, dodge that!" Kyle yelled.
"Flare!" it yelled as it jumped to the side, dodging the Water Pulse.
"Shellos, try it again!" James told Shellos.
"Shel!" it yelled, trying to hit the quick Flareon with its Water Pulse.
"Eon!" the Flareon yelled, jumping to the other side as the Water Pulse went harmlessly past him.
James was sure of one thing: that Flareon was fast. "Um...use Water Pulse again, Shellos," James said to Shellos unconfidently.
Shellos silently launched another Water Pulse at the Flareon. It was fearful that it would dodge it again.
"Flare-flareon!" it yelled, taunting Shellos as it jumped to the side.
"Okay Flareon, it's our turn! Hit that Shellos with a Giga Impact!" Kyle yelled.
"Flare!" the Flareon yelled as it went in for the Giga Impact. It smashed Shellos hard against the ground.
"Shel...shel..." Shellos said as it fell over onto the ground, completely knocked out.
"Shellos...Shellos...get up...come on!" James told it worriedly.
Shellos just laid there, eyes closed.
"Ahh...oh no!" James exclaimed. He picked it up and began running back towards Goldenrod City.
"Hey, hey, get back here!" Kyle yelled at him.
James did not stop; he kept running. After about thirty seconds, Kyle stopped running after him for some reason. Within another minute, James was in Goldenrod City. He ran as fast as he could to the Pokémon Center, and then ran through the doors.

"Ah, crud...can you please heal my Shellos?" James frantically asked the nurse at the counter.
"Yes, yes, just hand it to me," the nurse told James with a smile. She took Shellos and brought him in the back. James sat down on a bench, wondering why he lost that battle. In about five minutes, the nurse came back out with Shellos, who was as happy as could be.
"Thank you," James told the nurse. The nurse gave him Shellos. He just hugged it, joyful that it was feeling well again.
"Shel!" it exlaimed, happy that it was back with James.
"Okay buddy, I think it's about time that we got back to Mom. She's expecting us soon, and it looks like it is getting late in the day," James told Shellos. He looked out of the window and saw that the sun was beginning to set.

James walked out of the Pokémon Center with Shellos on his shoulder. He walked out of Goldenrod City, ready to finally head back home. Taking Skitty's Poké Ball out of his pocket, he wondered if he should give it more attention.
"HEY! HEY!" Kyle yelled at James.
"Ah, crud, I'm sorry for running away earlier," James apologized.
"Yeah, now I want my winnings. Double it as a 'late payment' fee," Kyle yelled angrily at James.
"Um...I barely have enough to pay your regular winnings. I'm sorry, but will you take that?" James asked, scared of what the other Trainer would do.
"No. That's not good enough. Give me this," Kyle rudely said as he yanked Skitty's Poké Ball out of James' hand.
"Hey! Give me that back! You can't take Skitty!" James exclaimed.
"Haha, go jump off a cliff," Kyle taunted James as he ran away.
"Get back here, you punk!" James yelled at him as he ran after him.

James ran after Kyle all throughout Route 34. Eventually, they got all the way to Goldenrod City. James followed the Trainer to the southern entrance to Goldenrod Tunnel. They both ran in.
"Hey, guys, get him!" Kyle yelled to his little three-person gang who were lounging and chatting in the tunnel.
"Get out of my way!" James yelled at Kyle's gang, but they made a wall of sorts which kept him away from Kyle.
One of the members of Kyle's gang shoved James over. He hit the ground with a thud.
Shellos fell off of James' shoulder as he was shoved over. "Shel..." it said as it slammed into the ground.
"Skitty!" James yelled as Kyle ran down the tunnel with it, and away from him.

James walked out of the tunnels, dejected. He thought about where Kyle could have gone, and then he realized:
"Hey...Kyle went out of the north entrance, so he probably left Goldenrod City through the north gate! Duh!" he thought aloud.
"Shel!" Shellos exclaimed as James realized where to go next. James picked up Shellos and put him on his shoulder.

James ran to the northern gate building in Goldenrod City. He ran through the building without any care for the guard.
He was running along when he saw a puddle of mud on the ground. There were fresh tracks in it, from sneakers.
"Hey, look, footsteps in the mud! They look like they were from sneakers, and they're completely fresh too! Kyle must have gone this way!" James exclaimed happily.
"Los!" Shellos said, happy that it would soon see Skitty again.

After running up Route 35, James was outside of the entrance building to the Pokéathlon Dome, and more importantly, the National Park, where he figured Kyle would have probably gone. He ran into the building, where he saw Kyle resting on a bench.
"Hey! Get back here!" James yelled at Kyle.
"Oh no you don't!" Kyle yelled as he ran through the doorway into the National Park. The security guard at the door was too slow to grab him and ask what was going on.
James gave chase, and they were running all through the National Park. They ran through some very tall grass, and startled quite a few Pokémon. A minute later or so, James cornered Kyle against some fencing.
"Give me Skitty back, now!" James shouted angrily at Kyle.
"You're gonna have to battle me for it!" Kyle yelled at James, getting a bit cocky. He took out a Poké Ball and enlarged it.
"Alright then, let's go! Shellos, go!" James exclaimed.
Shellos hopped off of James' shoulder with a mad "Lo-shel!"
James then took out Burmy's Poké Ball, enlarged it, and let it out. "Burmy, you too, let's go!" he told his Burmy.
"Bur-my!" it cried.
"Heh, two more little punks. Alright, let's go, Flareon and Staryu!" Kyle said as he took out a second Poké Ball, enlarged it, and then threw it. He also threw out the one he had taken out earlier. Kyle's choice of Pokémon showed that he was cocky and thought that he could not lose.
"Flareon, use Flamethrower on Shellos! And Staryu, use Water Gun on Burmy!" Kyle gave his orders. They were completely and utterly backwards.
"Guys, dodge it!" James told his Pokémon.
"Shel!" Shellos yelled as it jumped to the side of the Flamethrower.
"My-bur!" Burmy said as it ducked under the spray of the Water Gun.
"Okay..." James said, as he pulled his book out of his pocket and looked for moves to use quickly. "Shellos, use Muddy Water on the Flareon! And Burmy...try Bug Biting the Staryu! Come on guys, I'm counting on you, and Skitty is too!" James commanded and encouraged his Pokémon.
"SHEL-SHEL!" Shellos cried as it used Muddy Water on the Flareon.
The Muddy Water slammed the Flareon incredibly hard, and it nearly fell over. It still stood, however. "Flare...flareon," it struggled to say that it was not doing very good.
"Bur-MY!" Burmy screamed as it bit the Staryu.
“Yu-yu-yu!” the Staryu cried in pain.
“Guys, once again! Muddy Water and Bug Bite!” James told his Pokémon.
“Flareon, Fire Blast! Staryu, Swift! Slam that Shellos as hard as you can!” Kyle screamed at his Pokémon.
Shellos shot its Muddy Water. Flareon fired its Fire Blast. The attacks collided, which made a bunch of steam. Everyone watched. Then, after the mist cleared, it was visible that Shellos had the more powerful attack. It came out unscathed, while the Flareon was on the ground, completely and utterly knocked out.
Everyone was in awe.
“Bur-my!” James’ Burmy yelled as it sunk its teeth into the unsuspecting Staryu.
“Sta-“ the Staryu tried to say before it fell over in pain. It then fainted, meaning that James had won the battle.
Kyle stood there with his jaw dropped, before he screamed, “That’s freaking impossible!”
“Alright, we battled, and I won. Give me Skitty back,” James explained the facts to Kyle.
“No, not a chance!” Kyle proclaimed.
“Hm. Well, then, Burmy, would it be possible if you could give Kyle here a nice big Bug Bite?” James asked his Burmy.
One mischevious grin from Burmy was all it took.
“Okay, okay, okay, I’ll give you your Skitty back. Just don’t have your Burmy bite me. From the look of Staryu, it looks pretty freakin’ powerful,” Kyle told James as he casually tossed Skitty’s Poké Ball to James.
James caught the Ball and stuck it in his pocket. “Alright!” James said joyfully.
“Hmph,” is all that Kyle said as he walked away.

“It’s getting dark out,” James told Shellos and Burmy, who were walking beside him.
The sun was setting, and it was time for James to head home. They walked through the gate of the National Park, and then back to Goldenrod City. James needed to place a phone call. Before they knew it, James was outside of the Pokémon Center.
“Okay, Burmy, thanks for fighting so well earlier,” James told it as he recalled it into its Poké Ball.
“Shel-los?” Shellos asked that why wasn’t it recognized.
“Oh, you too, Shellos,” James said as he scratched its head.
“Shel, shel!” it said in appreciation.
James walked into the Pokémon Center.
“Hi, can I get my Pokémon healed?” James asked the nurse, as normal.
“Yes, of course, just hand me your Poké Balls,” the nurse responded with the smile that every Pokémon Center nurse has.
“Well, I’ve got one Pokémon that doesn’t have a Ball. That’s okay, right?” James asked the nurse as he handed over his two Poké Balls.
“Yes, yes, of course, just hand me it,” the nurse explained to James.
“Okay, thank you very much,” James said to the nurse as he handed her Shellos.
The nurse walked into the back to heal his Pokémon. Meanwhile, James had some business to take care of. James walked over to the video phone.
“Hm. 50 PokéDollars a minute. Not cheap. I don’t remember this costing anytime last time we were here,” James remarked on the price of calls.
A few months ago, the Pokémon League had hit some slight financial issues, and decided to start charging for video calls inside of Pokémon Centers.
James inserted the requisite money into the machine, and dialed his home phone number.
“Hello? Oh, hi James! We were getting a bit worried about you,” James’ mother greeted him as she saw his image.
“Yeah. About that. I’m in Goldenrod City right now. I have a lot of stuff to tell you,” James told her mom.
“And what would that be?” she asked.
“Well, for starters, Skitty got stolen. I got her back though,” James explained.
“Oh my, are you two okay?” she asked.
“Yeah, yeah, we’re fine. Great, actually. Other than that, I bought a few Poké Balls, and I captured a Burmy,” James told his mom.
“Oh, that’s nice. A friend for Skitty to play with,” she responded.
“I had a bad run-in with a guy from some organization called Team Galactic. They were doing horrible things to Pokémon...of course, I called the police. They got arrested,” James explained.
“Okay, well that’s...good,” she said. “Are you forgetting something?” she questioned him.
“Uh...oh, yeah! I got the fertilizer. It’s all in my backpack,” James remembered.
“Good, good,” she nodded.
“I won’t see you until tomorrow though; I have to run all through Azalea Town and Violet City,” James told his mom.
“Why don’t you take the shortcut through the National Park to Violet City? They widened it recently,” she suggested.
“Oh yeah, I completely forgot about that! Duh! I’ll take that route then, and I’ll see you in an hour or so,” James realized.
“Okay James, I’ll see you then. Bye!” she gave her goodbyes.
“Bye mom!” James said.

About a minute after James’ chat with his mother, the nurse came out of the back with James’ Poké Balls and Shellos.
“Thanks,” James thanked the nurse. “So, Shellos, how are you feeling?” James asked.
“Shel,” it said that it was okay.
“Okay. Well, it’s time to head home,” James told Shellos. He put it on his shoulder, as usual, and walked out.

James departed Goldenrod City for the National Park. It was a longer walk than last time, since they were in a hurry then.
“Ugh...my backpack is starting to get to me,” James remarked on the weight of his backpack.
Soon enough, they got to the National Park. The sunset made the grass look nicer than normal.
“Whoa, Shellos, look at the sunset! It’s so pretty!” James commented.
“Lo-shel-lo!” Shellos said, expressing its happiness.
“I guess that’s why they call it a ‘park’,” James thought aloud.
After watching the sunset for a minute, they took off. They got to the eastern gate, which they went through.
“So, they did widen this route. Mom wasn’t lying,” James said to himself.
A random Weedle popped out of a shrub.
“Whoa!” James yelled, scared.
“Wee!” the Weedle squeaked before retracting itself back into the shrub.
“Heh, a Weedle. We don’t see those around too often by Cherrygrove,” James remarked on the Weedle.

James made it to Violet City. The place was bustling about with people doing what they needed to do. It was getting dark out now, with the sun almost out of sight.
“Ugh...Shellos, you think its time to take a rest? Just for a minute?” James asked tiredly.
“Shel-los-lo-shel,” Shellos explained that if he wanted to get home tonight, he would have to get going.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Let’s keep going, then,” James responded.

The home stretch – James was finally almost home. Almost. Route 31 was short, but Route 30 was longer. At one point, James ran across a group of Shellos.
“Hey, Shellos, look, Pokémon that look like you! But they’re pink and white!” James said.
They all snarled at him, with mean glares.
“Uh...they don’t look so friendly,” James said to himself.
“Shel-lo-los-lo-she-shel. Shel-los,” Shellos told the wild Shellos that James was friendly and in no way a bad person.
“Lo-shellos,” one of the wild Shellos told James that they wouldn’t attack him.
James walked along, and once they were safely away from the wild Shellos, James thanked Shellos for his help.
“Thanks Shellos...I really owe you one. Without you, I’d be about dead right now,” James thanked Shellos.
“Shel-shellos,” it replied with a smile that it wasn’t a problem.

James was finally back in Cherrygrove City. His house was in sight. It was almost completely dark out now, the sun no longer in sight, with only a little bit of light left from it visible. The streetlights were on, which allowed him to find his way home. Of course, he knew the place like the back of his hand, so even without the streetlights he would have been fine.
James ran home, eager to finally get that backpack off of his back and ask his parents a question which he had thought over many times. He walked in the front door.
“Hey, Mom, I’m home!” James yelled into his house.
“Ah, James, welcome home! And it looks like you’ve brought a friend or two back with you!” James’ mother exclaimed as she walked over to him from the kitchen.
“Yeah, Burmy and Shellos,” James told his mom as he took Burmy out of its Poké Ball.
“Ah, so two new Pokémon. You’ve definitely been doing plenty of things in the last two days. So, you have the fertilizer, right?” she asked.
“Yeah, of course. You’ll need to send her a check for it, though,” James notified her as he took his backpack off and handed it to his mom.
“Great, thank you, James,” she thanked him.
“Just one more thing Mom...can I ask you a question?” he asked.
“Sure, what is it?” she questioned.
“Mom...can I become a Pokémon Trainer? I can understand you saying no at ten or eleven years old, but I’m thirteen now! Please, Mom?” he pleaded.
She paused before giving a response. “James, we’ll talk about this later,” she told him in a comforting tone.

James walked up to his room. It was an average-sized room. The walls were painted blue, and plastered over with posters of Pokémon he loved. He sat down on his bed and silently retracted Burmy back into its Poké Ball, who had followed him upstairs. He then took Shellos off of his shoulder and placed it on his lap.
"Alright Shellos...how would you like to become my Pokémon?" James asked his Pokémon friend.
"Shel!" Shellos replied affirmatively.
"Okay then," James said. He pulled a Poké Ball out of his pocket. He then pressed the button on the Poké Ball to make it full size. He tapped the Ball on Shellos' back, and it disappeared into the Ball.
The Ball shook back and forth in his open hands.

 

Hey! I'll be happy to grade this as one of my first grades as a grader, so this is my claim.

 

Intro:

An errand quest isn't that appealing. However, it was interesting that it was to get fertilizer. You introduced the main character well, not over discribing him so we learn more about him later in the story.

We don't hear about the main plot until a page in, which at first I thought was just a Deus Ex Machina to have a Shellos in Johto, but later on, I understood. But just remember, the hook needs to be strong and in the beginning. So maybe you could hear a report on the TV about some Sinnoh sightings, since you mention James watches a lot of TV.

Plot:
James needs to get some fertilizer for the family flower store. Along the way he befriends a Shellos and discovers Team Galactic's plan to replace Johto's natural habitat with that of Sinnoh's. He gets the police to help him and they foil the evil group's plan. James gets the fertilizer and then has the family Skitty stolen, which he eventually gets back.

Honestly, it is a very original plot, at least what I have seen so far. However, I felt that the kidnapping wasn't really necessarily, as the Team Galactic plan seemed more interesting.

Grammar:
You're grammar was mostly fine throughout the story. There were just some spelling mistakes and paragraphing mistakes. Remember, when a new character speaks or acts, they get a new paragraph. Also, just as a tip for the future, read out loud your story to catch any mistakes you might have. You didn't have many, but they were still there.

Here are some examples (since you asked):

Minor spelling error (committed) and sentense structure error. "This man is dangerous" and "don't be hesitant to use force if necessary" are two complete sentenses, so you shouldn't connect the two with a simple comma. Since the two are related you could use a semi-colon, or just separate the two.

Other spelling mistakes included (correct spelling): lept (leapt), streched (stretched), and exlaimed (exclaimed).

Also:

If you take out "and his Pokemon" it would read: "Him slept soundly..." It should be changed to "He."

And last:

"Here's" is a conjunction for "Here is" which doesn't make sense since there are multiple balls. The correct conjunction would be "Here're" for "Here are" though that is still awkward for normal readers. So, "Here are" would be the best.

Detail:
You didn't over detail every single part, which is nice. But, sometimes you barely described enough. For example:

To someone who didn't know Pokemon, they wouldn't understand what the significance of a Plant Cloak. You should try to describe the moves, instead of saying that the Pokemon are just using them.

Length:
Um... Yeah... You def meet the min/max required characters. However, it was just a tad too long. Some parts seemed not needed. The ruin of alph stop for instance, while it was funny, it didn't further the plot besides saying were you were.

And the video phone part wasn't needed as it didn't really help the plot either.

Just remember that everything that you're telling the reader should help them understand the plot, but if some sees that a banana is ripe, telling them that the skin is yellow isn't going to change the fact that they know the banana is ripe. What I mean is that constantly saying that something is happening, like listing all the different Pokemon that he sees every three paragraphs is redundant as the reader already knows that Sinnoh Pokemon are in Johto.

Reality:
I loled when I saw that you first get the fertilizer and then go to the bookstore. Fertilizer smells and it would have been funny to include people's reactions to the smell.

Another thing was this:

That was really fast to apprehend a villain, handcuff him and bring him back, but this is me nitpicking.

I also enjoyed the reality that a 13 year old boy that is not even a trainer couldn't take down Team Galactic by himself. It makes sense that he would get the police, who are actually useful.

Battle:
I liked how you battled with Shellos rather than Battle it. There were a lot a smaller battles which is fine, but the main one against the Pokenapper needed more detail. You say the moves, but you don't really discribe how they are exectuted.

Personal Feelings:
I like how your story seems to parody the game where a young kid can twart the plans of an evil organization, other people have rumors but don't check them out themselves, and people seemingly give you random money after a battle.

Honestly, you do capture that Burmy and even though you say that it shouldn't be taken into consideration because of the NWC, I would allow you to capture it, but you would have to say that you are going to try to capture it. The Burmy battle was a bit short, but it is an easy Pokemon so its fine.

Last but not least, naming conventions. With so little people named, you don't have to worry about this as much, but for the future, characters with the same first letter can get confused. James and Jason can get confusing if you ever bring Jason back.

Verdict:

Good job on your first story. Here's your prize:

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Just watch out for some spelling and grammar mistakes and remember: It's not the length that matters... and no that's not an innuendo.



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