It's a Dog's Life

This story is the next chapter following Boaz Challenger's crusade against Team Rocket (and the first with actual conflict with them), so here are links to the previous chapters for those who havn't read them:
Chapter 1: Mission Almost-Impossible
Chapter 2: No Time Like the Present

Target Pokémon: Houndour, Flaaffy, Porygon
Projected Character count: 70-105k
Total Character Count: 78,837

Note: Flaaffy and Porygon will both be a standard(ish) capture, I team up with them partway through the story and the story will end with them deciding whether or not to join permanently. As for Houndour, the capture method is slightly more complex, but will become apparent as the story progresses; it will be near the end of the story before the success of the capture will be determined.

Prologue:
Boaz raised his head groggily, placing his hand against his temple as he moved into a seated position and took stock of his surroundings as he tried to recall exactly why his head was pounding like a pneumatic drill. Firstly he tried to get a sense of the messages his body was sending to him, beyond the obvious headache; dry mouth and throat, short term memory loss, stiff joints. All hallmarks of a heavy night of drinking; but he wasn’t old enough to drink, and had little interest in doing so to excess anyway. He lowered his hand from his head and noticed traces of semi-dry, sticky blood on the grey glove that encased it.

‘I must have been hit with something,’ Boaz thought to himself, ‘and recently judging by the blood.’ He checked the rest of his body for signs of injury; but there were no other particularly sore spots, and the only red on the black jumpsuit that he was wearing was the ‘R’ that adorned the chest.

It was then that Boaz took note of his surroundings. He was sat in the middle of a circular glass tube (or at least it looked like glass); a plain metal plate at both the top and bottom. This tube resided in the centre of a laboratory; the sort that normally only existed in kid’s cartoons, owned by the obligatory mad scientist. Every surface was taken up by computers, odd machinery and chemical flasks, one corner of the lab housed three robotic arms, each currently inactive and holding a sharp surgical implement. He could even make out an antenna with several green, translucent discs on it, the very model of a movie ‘death ray.’

Where on Earth was he, and how had he gotten here?

Chapter 1:
A young man stepped out of the bus, his ever-present diminutive Pokémon sidekick beside him. The Pokémon was a Ralts; he looked like a child in a pristine white night dress wearing a green helmet that was several sizes too big for him, and answered to the name of Sam. His trainer towered over him, looking far less elegant than Sam in his standard ragged T-shirt and three-quarter length trousers. The man’s charcoal black hair matched the rest of his generally untidy appearance, and the look of excitement in his green eyes indicated that his thoughts were far from the perilous circumstances that he would soon find himself in.

The man was Boaz Challenger – Pokémon trainer, crusader for justice and all-around nice guy – and he had come here to Ecruteak City to follow up a lead he had relating to his ceaseless quest to eliminate Team Rocket. Though his family had supported this organisation for generations, Boaz had found himself unable to stomach their criminal nature or their treatment of Pokémon, and had vowed to destroy them once and for all. Several days ago he’d received a telephone call from Detective Hartley (odd considering that he wasn’t exactly public with his Pokégear number), who worked with the police here in Ecruteak. He thought back to the detective’s cryptic message now, once again trying to tease as much information as possible from their exchange.

“I know who you are and what you’re doing. I have information that will be useful to you and in exchange I’ll need you to complete a job for me. My hands are tied by the system I’m sworn to uphold and you’re the only one who can help me.”

All Boaz could determine was that this detective must have some information on a Team Rocket operation and for various reasons he was unable to act on it. That meant that he’d either obtained the information illegally, or there wasn’t enough to convince a judge that it was worth acting on. Given the connections that Team Rocket had, it was most likely the latter and the judge in question was heavily in their pocket; either through bribery, blackmail or physical threat.

The streets practically heaved with people as Boaz forced his way through the crowds, heading for the restaurant that Hartley had arranged to meet him at; The Munchlax’s Grotto. It was unfortunate that the crowds didn’t allow Boaz to enjoy the sights and sounds of the city; Ecruteak was a truly marvellous settlement. Situated in the central north of the Johto region, the city principally consisted of historical buildings, with a few more modern sections. The modern sections were a vibrant community of shops, small businesses and small residential apartment blocks; but they had been built in keeping with the style of the older construction (at least externally). This left most of the city full of traditional bamboo houses, tea rooms, and a few museums and tourist traps; all dominated by the giant façade of the Bell Tower. Standing ten-storeys high, this impressive monument was built hundreds of years earlier to foster friendship between people and Pokémon, and it was even said that certain Legendary Pokémon had a special relationship with the tower and could be summoned by the peal of its bells.

But even if he’d had the time available to appreciate the surroundings, in all likelihood Boaz still wouldn’t have taken it. He took only a passing interest in history at the best of times; though he did enjoy looking at monuments, and right now the prospect of doing damage to Team Rocket weighed heavily on his mind, he couldn’t allow himself to become distracted.

----​

Several minutes later Boaz seated himself in The Munchlax’s Grotto opposite Detective Hartley, swinging his satchel bag onto the seat beside him for Sam to sit on. The restaurant was done out in a Munchlax motif; lots of black and cream, and everything was pleasantly rounded. Unfortunately the almost monochrome palette didn’t look particularly inviting, and the sour look on the face of many of the staff (likely due to the plump Munchlax costumes they were required to wear) didn’t help the general ambiance. Hartley looked much the same as Boaz had pictured him; late-middle aged, muscles beginning their journey towards becoming fat, faint scent of cigarette smoke and cheap beer; the only surprise was that he was wearing a business suit rather than a ‘Film Noir’ style trench coat. Hartley waited until a waitress had taken Boaz’s order (green-tea for him, milk for Sam and a largish curry to share between them) before uttering anything more than a simple greeting.

“I’m glad to see you here, part of me thought you wouldn’t turn up.” Hartley swept aside a small pile of origami figures made from napkins as the waitress brought their food. Judging from the amount of figures he’d either been here a while, or had been very nervous about Boaz not showing up. Once the waitress had left he reached into his briefcase and withdrew a beige paper file, “Take a look at this,” he said sliding it across the table to Boaz.

Whilst Sam started work on devouring their meal, Boaz leafed through the contents of the file. Most of it consisted of shipping orders for various pieces of technical equipment, a few police statements about missing persons or Pokémon and another statement from a drunk who swore he’d seen ‘guys in black space suits walk into a magic hole in the side of the cliff.’ He looked back towards Detective Hartley, raising his eyebrow to indicate his interest.

“I’ve been following these leads for the past week, but I’ve reached the limit of what I can do. Each of the companies on the invoices is a legitimate business in the area, who could have a use for the equipment but refuse to prove they still have it. Three of those missing person/ Pokémon cases list the area around those cliffs as the last known location; I’ve been out there and found signs of footprints and drag marks that terminate at the cliff-face. But that’s as far as I can go with my investigation. Every attempt I make to get a search warrant is met with red-tape and outright refusal, half the complainers have withdrawn their complaints and then ‘disappeared,’” Hartley complained, looking thoroughly dejected as he took a sip of his coffee.

‘Typical Team Rocket tactics,’ Boaz thought to himself, more convinced than ever that there was a major operation in the area. And if it was so important to them that it stay a secret, then it was equally important to Boaz to stop them. He looked across to Sam for confirmation, already knowing that his Ralts was 100% behind him. “We’re in, just leave this with us,” he smiled confidently as he slipped the file into his bag.

“Just remember…”

“I know,” Boaz held up a hand placatingly as he paraphrased an old spy show, “as always, ‘should I or any of my force be caught or killed, you will disavow any knowledge of us or our actions.’”

----​

A few hours later Boaz was sat in a small anteroom in the local Pokécentre; the sort of room usually reserved for those who wished to await the results of their Pokémon’s treatment in private. It was furnished in typical hospital fashion; giving off a sterile yet welcoming vibe. The carpet was a soothing peach colour, the walls were coated in red tiles on their lower half and plain white paint on the upper half; sort of reminiscent of a Pokéball. Beyond a few comfortable chairs, a low, glass table in the centre of the room and a computer terminal in the corner, there was little in the way of furniture. However, the room was more than sufficient for Boaz’s purposes, planning his attack on the Team Rocket installation.

He had already spread some material out on the table; the file he’d received from Hartley, a map of the area they were targeting, and a couple of schematics of Team Rocket bases they’d already raided. His entire team sat around the table, hanging on his every word; Sam, Kara, Glaurung and Osaka. Kara was a large red and cream lobster, two blue bands just underneath her mouth and a large yellow star adorning her forehead; as ever she looked eager to begin, not to mention to test out her strength; freshly augmented from her recent evolution from a Corphish into a Crawdaunt. The long blue and white snake with small wings on either side of its head was Glaurung the Dratini; he was quite a powerhouse, but lay there quietly contemplating the papers on the table, an expression of concentration on his features. Boaz’s newest team member, Osaka, was the blue and green sea slug Pokémon; Shellos, her mouth resting slightly open to give her a dopey appearance that regrettably matched her personality.

“Based on past experience we can assume that the facility will have a layout similar to this,” Boaz said, pointing to one of the schematics; a compact multi-level underground lair. “As soon as we get in we’ll have to split up, I will head down two floors to where the main computer room should be. Don’t worry,” he said in response to the concerned expression that leapt onto the faces of some of his Pokémon, “I’ll be wearing my old Team Rocket uniform, so they’ll assume I’m one of them. Now, once I’m there I’ll be able to access their database and figure out exactly what they’re doing, and how to stop them.”

“Meanwhile you four will move through the ventilation system; I’m presuming that they’re arrogant enough not to have implemented better security in them, to the main generator. Once you arrive I’ll contact you on this,” he handed a small walkie-talkie to Sam, “and tell you what I’ve found out from the computer. Assuming that nothing complex needs doing, it’ll just be a case of unleashing attacks until the place starts to explode, then you can Teleport out.”

“Ral ral?” Sam piped up, looking hard at Boaz.

“You will be able to zero in on my position using the tracking signal from my walkie-talkie and Teleport in to fetch me, I trust in your abilities to get me out safely.” He smiled at Sam, in actuality he was well aware that Sam may not be able to reach him in time, particularly if the facility begun to collapse faster than they anticipated. But he didn’t want his Ralts worrying, it was important that he stayed focussed and got the Pokémon out, there were more of them and he was responsible for taking care of them.

“Now, in the unlikely event that any of us end up separated, our rendezvous point is back here. I’ve already spoken to the Nurse in charge and organised for room and board for all of us for the next two weeks; we’ll only be able to wait that long for any stragglers.” Boaz took a deep breath before launching into the next part; it wasn’t something he liked to bring up and he knew that his Pokémon wouldn’t like it any better (apart from Osaka who probably wouldn’t take it in). “If I am the one who is missing, and I’m gone longer than two weeks,” he paused briefly, not really wanting to continue but knowing he had to. “I have instructed Nurse Joy to find a good home for any of you who don’t wish to return to the wild,” he braced himself against the torrent of protests from Sam, Kara and Glaurung, waiting for them to die down.

“I’m sorry, but that’s how it’s going to be. If I die or am captured then I don’t want you all rotting here in the vain hope that I’ll come back one day. Nor do I want you to risk yourselves in some foolhardy rescue mission,” he emphasised this last point, looking keenly at each of them in turn. “And that is the final word on the subject, now Sam could you try and scare us up some grub whilst I go change and leave my bag with Nurse Joy. Once we’re done eating we’ll get going, each second we delay is another second that Team Rocket is doing whatever evil they’ve concocted.”

 

Chapter 2:
The memories of recent events came flooding back to Boaz as he sat in the laboratory, imprisoned in glass. His team had made an explosive entry into the base thanks to Kara’s Night Slash attack; which made reasonably quick work of the cliff-side door they’d been pointed to. Once inside they’d split up, as planned, and everything seemed to be going perfectly; he’d even managed to reach the main computer room almost unchallenged. True, the room was one floor below where he’d guessed it would be, and he’d had a very close call when someone asked to see his identity card; but some quick thinking (“I’ve only just been assigned to this facility, they told me to get my card from the Human Resources department, but HR says it should have been sent to me in the post.”) had gotten him through safely.

It was when he was using the main computer that everything started to go wrong. The files he wanted were relatively easy to find, but it appeared that Team Rocket had completely overhauled the encryption protocols since last time he’d accessed their systems; he didn’t even know where to begin in his attempt to make the files readable again, and he suspected that there would be a few levels of password protected security to get through once he’d done that. But defeat was not a word that came to Boaz easily, so he took a stab at it anyway, trying every hacker’s trick that he’d been taught in Team Rocket Training. At precisely the same instant that he begun his sixth attempt - trying to rewrite the encryption software to give himself back-door access - one of the project scientists entered the room.

Unfortunately the scientist wasn’t prepared to listen to his rationalisations, and raised the alarm before striking Boaz in the temple with the briefcase that he carried. Boaz had fled the room, yelling into his walkie-talkie for Sam to abort the mission, whilst the base’s PA system begun announcing his intrusion. It was all to no avail, the section of corridor that he was in sealed itself off and an electro-magnetic charge was applied to the walls, creating the equivalent of a Faraday cage; no signals in or out, including Sam’s Teleport. He was cut off from everyone; then the ventilation ducts had started hissing, and he’d gotten terribly woozy…and his memories stopped there.

‘It must have been some sort of tranquiliser,’ Boaz reasoned to himself. ‘But that’s not important now, I’ve got to escape and rejoin my buddies. But how?’ He took another look at the tube that he was imprisoned in, it was completely featureless on his side of the glass; no indication of how to escape, if that were even possible.

“Professor, he’s awake.” A door into the lab had just slid open, admitting a surprised man in the white lab coat. Evidently he hadn’t expected Boaz to be conscious, only fear of the repercussions had kept him from dropping the tray of test-tubes that he carried in shock. He didn’t look too much older than Boaz, but that was where the similarity ended; you could tell by his entire bearing that he wore the Team Rocket colours with pride.

Another voice, one belonging to a woman who sounded older than them, answered from beyond the door. “Well we can’t have that now, can we? Put him back under so we can get on with it, those things won’t keep for more than a few hours outside of a body.”

Boaz slammed his fist against the glass, yelling at them to release him, but either they couldn’t hear or didn’t care (probably the latter, as he could hear them). The smooth plate at the top of the tube retracted, revealing a grille from which a familiar hissing emitted. Boaz continued to defiantly pound on his prison wall as icy fingers of numbness spread through his body, once again driving his consciousness back into the depths of slumber.

----​

For a second time Boaz awoke to hangover symptoms, feeling like he’d gone several rounds of boxing with a Hitmonchan. Things were slightly different this time though, because in addition to the grogginess and aches he also felt like he’d been used as a pincushion, and to top it off he wasn’t the only person in the laboratory. Sitting at a computer across from where he lay, still trapped in the glass tube, was an auburn-haired woman, wearing the same white coat that the other Team Rocket scientist sported. He didn’t have much chance to study her, or awaken properly, before she began speaking.

“I wouldn’t start kicking up a fuss again if I were you, the injections will have left you quite drained,” she said, not even turning to address him. She spoke to him whilst continuing to work on the computer, as if he wasn’t worthy of her attention.

“What injections?” Boaz asked between deep breaths; she wasn’t wrong, he was completely exhausted.

“That’s not important now young Mr Challenger, or would you prefer Boaz? Doesn’t matter of course, I’ll call you whatever I want to, it’s not like you can do anything about it,” she taunted as she finally turned to face him, smirking maliciously. She would have cut quite an attractive figure, if Boaz could look past the red ‘R’ embroidered on the breast of her lab coat; but the fact that she worked willingly with the enemy prevented him appreciating her beauty. The laminated identity card that hung from her neck showed a picture of her face, along with her name and title; Prof Astrid Tupelo, Head of Research.

“I have to say that it’s a shame someone realised who you were so quickly,” she said, rising from her seat and walking across the lab. “I’d much rather have dealt with you the old fashioned way,” Astrid patted a revolver that sat on one of the tables she passed, “but you are rather a unique problem for us.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t be troubling you much longer,” Boaz replied snidely. He knew that even though his Pokémon had been given strict instructions to remain at the rendezvous point, there was nothing that would stop them from making a rescue attempt.

“Oh, you mean your little friends, well you needn’t worry about them,” she taunted. “We were quite free to dispose of them, although they did put up a brave fight before they were finally finished off.”

Boaz couldn’t believe what she was saying, wouldn’t believe it, “You’re lying.”

“I only wish that Ralts hadn’t taken out the security cameras, I’m sure they would have gotten some wonderful footage for me to show you,” Astrid smiled sadistically, her back to the target of her tormenting. She would be the first to admit that her poker face was useless; one look at her expression would give away the fact of her lie. But she was having far too much fun twisting the metaphorical knife in his guts to allow him that release, so she faced away; mildly disappointed that she couldn’t actually watch his heart break.

One or two small tears fought their way through Boaz’s stoic attempt not show weakness. If what she said was true, then he would make sure that every single person in this facility paid for it. He swallowed, and then responded to her; his quietness and a faint crack in his voice hinting at the depths of emotion that ran through him. “What do you plan to do with me?”

“Well, as I pointed out,” she replied, glad to hear the pain she’d caused, “you are a unique problem. You see, we have orders to capture and detain you, despite the humungous fly you are in the ointment of Team Rocket. Normally we’d have just shot you, dumped your corpse somewhere and be done with it, but your family holds too much influence within our organisation. They still believe that you can be turned back to our way, but most of us are of the opinion that you’re just a ‘bad’ apple. Naomi will be visiting this facility within the week to check on you. Your appearance here was flagged up on the computers at headquarters the minute it was discovered.”

“You tell my sister that I’d rather not owe her my life, please kill me instead.”

Astrid laughed, “I like your defiance boy, but I can’t simply deliver a message like that to her, she’d have my head on a platter. Naomi is one of the most short-tempered people I know, and becoming Deputy-Executive of Johto Operations didn’t help that one bit.”

“Deputy-Executive?!?” Boaz gasped, she’d risen that far through the ranks already?

“Well I see you don’t get the family newsletter. It happened two months ago, in spite of the controversy over your continued sabotage, it’s quite a testament to her skills and vision if you ask me. But it’s also a big problem for us, or more specifically, you are a big problem.

“Until she’s come to see you we aren’t allowed to ship you elsewhere, and it goes without saying that you have to be treated decently. So good meals, a nice cell, guards on you 24/7, it all eats into our time, resources and man-power. But, like with so many things in life, it also presents us with a great opportunity. I realised whilst you were out cold that my research has immense potential in the field of housing prisoners like you; too valuable to simply kill or leave to rot.”

Professor Tupelo’s eyes lit up as she begun talking about her research, it kind of reminded Boaz of a proud parent gushing about some insignificant thing that their offspring had done. A far more disturbing allusion also occurred to him; this was the classic super-villain monologue, explain your plan in intricate detail and then set up some elaborate method of executing the hero. Unfortunately he didn’t have the slightest idea how to achieve what should inevitably follow; the daring last-minute escape.

“Firstly, a little science lesson for you, since I presume you know only what you were taught at the Rocket Academy. All living creatures have DNA, the basic blueprint for how to make you; people, plants, Pokémon, everything has it. Now, because of how DNA works, the code it contains is similar on similar organisms, meaning that, as an example a Magikarp and Feebas are over 99.9% the same. Even a minute percentage difference like that is still millions of bits of information, and those changes are spread out through your genome, all your DNA, to maximise the phenotypic difference, that is the physical, expressed difference.”

Fortunately for Boaz he’d always been good with the sciences and was following her explanation, but beyond a biology lecture there was no way of seeing where Astrid was going with this. However, as long as she was waxing lyrical about genetics, she wasn’t doing anything to hurt him, so he was content to let her carry on for as long as she liked.

“In theory, this means that it might be possible to change one organism into another, by manipulating it at the genetic level.” Astrid had returned to her computer and was now pulling up several diagrams, seemingly oblivious to the presence of anyone else in the room. She was now firmly in the territory of mad-scientist/super villain, in both content and delivery. “The hard part is making the change simultaneously in every cell in the body, because if too many of them are done early or late then the immune system will attack and destroy them, seriously damaging or even killing the subject. And that is where these come in.” She tapped a few final commands with a flourish, bringing a new image onto the screen. It was a small machine, vaguely sperm shaped, with a tiny cluster of arms at the ‘head’ end.

“What the hell is that?” asked Boaz incredulously, beginning to grasp the fact that he was entirely at the mercy of this insane woman.

“This is my crowning achievement, the DNA Augmenting Nanobot; DAN for short. Once introduced into a subject, DAN will permeate every cell in the body, taking minerals and nutrients from the subject themselves to build more machines if necessary. Then, upon my command, they will line the DNA with new instructions, effectively changing the host body into whatever they are programmed for.”

“In a fit of sheer brilliance, I realised how I can use this to solve my problem with you, and other awkward prisoners. Pokéballs don’t take up much room, and the Pokémon inside is effectively held in semi-stasis, so you only need to feed them every week or so. And if the host is turned into something particularly interesting,” she chuckled in a sinister manner, “then we can find a use for them in battle.”

“You’re mad,” Boaz cried; he was shocked that someone could even think along those lines. Apart from the absolute impossibility of what she proposed, the thought that someone would use it as a method of detention; to make life easier, and the precedent it set for the way they treated people and Pokémon… “There’s no way you can do that, it’s ridiculous science-fiction.”

“We’ll see about that Boaz, because by now the nanobots should have permeated your entire body. That’s right,” she declared triumphantly in response to the horror-stricken look on his face, “the injections you received were my babies. You should be honoured, this will be my first test of the system on anything bigger than single cell samples. I’ll be interested to see what you become. The nanobots are programmed to determine which Pokémon to use as a template based upon some random selections of junk DNA; it’s like a mini lottery.” She started laughing maniacally as she pressed a button on the console, triggering the process.

Boaz cringed; bracing himself for whatever would happen next, but after ten seconds passed he felt it was safe to open his eyes. He was greeted by the sight of Astrid feverishly pouring over the information on the computer, desperately seeking guidance as to what had gone wrong. Now it was Boaz’s turn to laugh, but he was cut short as she decided upon the standard mad-scientist’s Plan B; if it doesn’t work, hit it with a few million volts.

A scream rent the air as Boaz was electrified, intense pain flashing through every part of his body at once. He curled up into foetal position on the floor of the glass tube, twitching and spasming repeatedly. Unfortunately for Astrid, the laboratory hadn’t been designed to handle that much power; causing various electronics in the lab to explode, clouds of black smoke filling the space.

“Professor Tupelo, are you all right?” one of her assistants asked as he rushed into the lab, thankful that the door was still operational.

“Never mind me, ensure the subject is secure,” she yelled in response, heading towards the centre of the laboratory.

Boaz, meanwhile, was attempting a very ineffectual escape. One of the first explosions had cracked the glass tube open, and now he was crawling on his hands and knees, looking for any method of egress. ‘I have to hurry,’ he thought, ‘I can barely stay awake.’ He couldn’t even stand up, the experience had been far too draining on him; not that standing in this thick smoke was a good idea in the first place. As luck would have it he managed to make his way to one of the walls, and on this wall was a large pipe, broken open and spilling waste water into the room.

With barely a hesitation (dropping into sewage was better than certain imprisonment/torture/death, but only mildly), he dragged himself into the opening and dropped through the pipe. To his tortured body, it felt like he was falling for hours, the echoing shouts from the facility above chasing him all the way. The underground stream that he landed in was cool and refreshing at first, but quickly it begun to chill him to the bone and sap his already waning strength.

The stream wound its way under Mt Mortar; ending in a short waterfall, which spewed out into a murky pool in a valley. Boaz didn’t have the energy to appreciate the scenery and he pulled himself, spluttering and half-drowned, from the pool. All that mattered to him at that very moment was that he had survived. He flopped down on the very edge of the pool, his lower half still in the water, not wanting to move from that spot for a short while (perhaps a month or so, to recuperate).

It was then that even his exhausted mind picked up on something strange about the valley he now rested in. There were barely any of the sounds one normally associated with this environment. He raised his head to look about him, but what he saw didn’t explain what he heard, or rather didn’t hear. This was woodland, so why could he hear so many people talking (and about the strangest things; sap consistency, air currents, odd scents), and so few Pokémon calling?

‘This is something that bears investigating,’ he thought, ‘maybe there’s a town or something on the other side of those trees.’ Boaz tried to raise himself up from the ground, and in doing so he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the water. Instead of seeing his face staring back at him, it was the face of a canine, black fur, red muzzle, grey bony plate right between its eyes. That wasn’t his face, but it moved in the same way that he knew his should be doing, the same expression of puzzlement, the same open-mouthed stare.

“That’s not possible,” he said aloud, watching the face in the water mimic his words, “I can’t have been turned into a Pokémon.” He desperately tried to find some evidence that he was right. He looked to his hands, but they were black paws, he turned to look at his body, but it was the same black and red canine appearance as the rest of him. He begun to panic, hyperventilating, repeating to himself, “It’s not possible. It’s not possible.”

A passing flock of Pidgey looked down as they flew, momentarily intrigued. ‘I wonder what his problem is?’ they thought to themselves as the continued their journey; leaving the poor bewildered Houndour below, howling its frustration in solitude.

Chapter 3:
It took Boaz several hours before he began to calm down; the sun was now dipping towards the horizon. Though he normally considered himself quite a level-headed and unflappable person, the shock of having been transformed into a Pokémon combined with his weakened state had a profound effect upon him. But eventually he did manage to exert a grip on his fleeting sanity and adopt a more stable state of mind.

“Ok,” he said to himself, using the soothing tones usually reserved for irate children or gibbering mental patients. “I am now a Pokémon; more specifically a Houndour, but that is no reason to freak out like this. It was a simple, experimental procedure, which can be easily reversed; I’ve just got to break back into their base and shut the nanobots off, or maybe hit them with a huge electrical charge.” Even he didn’t believe a word he was saying, but it was somehow reassuring to say it aloud. “Once I get back into town and to the Pokécentre, I can calmly explain the situation to Nurse Joy…” wait a second, was he still able to speak English? There was no way of knowing, as far as he was aware both humans and other Pokémon would be understandable to him; so in theory he could understand whatever he said, meaning that he’d be unable to distinguish between speaking English or speaking Poké-speak. “…all right, I’ll explain the situation to my team and then we’ll go an…”

The sudden recollection of what Prof Tupelo had said made Boaz feel as if someone had torn out his heart, again. If she’d been telling the truth then they were all dead, and he was truly alone in the world, probably trapped in this form forever. Just as he had back in the laboratory, Boaz forced himself to stem the flow of those feelings; refusing to allow the tears to come. Maybe later, once he knew for certain, but for now he had to get moving. There was no guarantee that Team Rocket wouldn’t come looking for him, and his minor mental break-down had already cost him far too much time.

He pulled himself up out of the water, shook himself dry (at the time he didn’t even consider how odd it was that he reflexively did that) and, after getting his bearings from the position of the setting sun, started to walk into the forest, heading in the general direction of Ecruteak City. Now that nightfall was approaching most of the resident Pokémon were heading to their nests (or lairs, or hives, or wherever they slept), so his journey went largely unimpeded and unnoticed. This gave him time to begin appreciating the new perspective that being a Houndour gave him; normally he was always rushing from one mission to the next, but for now he was content to take things a bit slower. It did occur to him that this might be because he dreaded actually reaching the Pokécentre, just in case his friends truly were dead; however he pushed this consideration to the back of his mind. He’d had years of practice in denial, having spent his childhood rationalising his family’s involvement with Team Rocket (after all ‘they couldn’t be all that bad, could they?’).

The first thing he noticed was that his vision was sharper, combined with superior night-vision, allowing him to see more of the details in the plants around him. Flowers that had once seemed dull now carried additional levels of patterning, subtle distinctions of tone that he’d never been able to notice before; even the plain bark of the trees held new wonders. His hearing was also far better. He could hear sounds that had been previously beyond his range, detecting the nuances of tone variation that had once escaped him. But the largest difference by a long way was in his sense of smell. Scents were elevated to the extent that they were almost tangible, and from a few conversations that he eavesdropped on he could tell how important it was for gauging the mood of another Pokémon, much more so than expression and body language were in humans.

Boaz was just beginning to value this fresh perspective on life, as well as the positive impact this experience would have on his relationship with his own Pokémon (he didn’t permit any thought of their demise into his mind at this point). But it seemed that misfortune had not yet finished inflicting itself upon him just yet, as the worst possible incident occurred. He emerged from a bush into a clearing, at the exact instant that another figure entered from the foliage opposite.

“What have we here?” The boy was about five years younger than Boaz; clad in jeans, a plain red T-shirt and long leather coat. He held a backpack by a single strap in one of his hands, the other held a pair of expensive-looking sunglasses; a neat crop of blond hair and a mischievous grin were the defining features of his head. The important feature, one that occupied most of Boaz’s attention, was the four Pokéballs attached to his belt; this boy was a fellow trainer.

Forgetting his current predicament, Boaz stepped forwards, a greeting slipping out by force of habit. “Hey, glad to see I’m not the only trainer out here. You look like the sort who likes a good battle, and I wholeheartedly agree that it’s a trainer’s duty to do just that, but regrettably my Pokémon are back at the Ecruteak Pokécentre. Don’t worry,” he said in response to the look of confusion on the boy’s face, “I’m not chickening out, I’ll be happy to kick your butt just as soon as we get back to town.”

“That’s unusual behaviour for a wild Pokémon,” he said, returning his sunglasses to his face to free his hand up. He immediately began digging around in his bag and in a few seconds he pulled out a small red computer. The boy flipped it open and pointed it at Boaz, “The Pokédex aught to tell me what you are and whether or not anyone owns you.”

“Error,” the synthesised female voice Pokédex reported, “target does not match any known Pokémon.”

“Piece of junk,” the boy replied, lightly hitting the device against his leg. The readout kept switching between the entry for Houndour and a large question mark, never settling for more than a second on either page. “It’s either broken or this is no ordinary…Houndour,” he said, squinting at the display as it switched back to the information page. “But it’s not telling me that someone owns it,” he reached for the leftmost orb on his belt, “so it looks like you’re fair game.”

Throughout this exchange Boaz had slowly moved through irritation at the boy rudely ignoring him, to confusion at his odd actions and finally comprehension. He chastised himself for having forgotten something as vitally important as the fact that he was now a Pokémon; although on the plus side he was now absolutely certain that he couldn’t speak English. The much larger downside was that this trainer was now intending to capture him, and he wouldn’t get out of this without a battle. But could he succeed, weakened and inexperienced as he was?

‘Well there’s only one way to find out,’ he reasoned as the trainer’s Pokémon was released from its capsule. Immediately thankful that he’d grown up in the Johto region and was thus familiar with the more common local Pokémon, Boaz recognised his opponent straight away. Standing just over half a foot taller than him, Flaaffy looked like a pink sheep standing on its hind legs; though the only wool on its body was on the top of its head and around its shoulders, with a long tail that had a bright blue ball on the end. Flaaffy was an Electric-type Pokémon, and if he remembered correctly then as a Houndour he was a combination of Fire and Dark, so neither side had a type advantage.

“Flaaffy Discharge.” The electric sheep rushed to carry out its orders, maintaining strict silence as it attacked. It briefly built up a charge, static crackling across its wool, before releasing bolts of blue lightning in several directions at once.

Boaz tried to avoid the attack, leaping to the side and narrowly dodging one of the bolts. Unfortunately once the bolt contacted the ground, it split and arced in multiple directions, striking the surprised Houndour. The attack hurt considerably, not nearly as much as the electrification he’d received in the Team Rocket facility, but it served as an unpleasant reminder. He glared at the Flaaffy, a deep-seated need for payback occupying his mind; along with a certain degree of enjoyment. Though he’d only been in this battle a few seconds he could already sense the thrill of the fight, and it would likely only get better if he won; possibly raising to an almost narcotic effect. No wonder Pokémon enjoy a hard fought battle so much.

The effect it had on his senses was also quite profound. Boaz realised that his senses were even more heightened than before, or perhaps merely more focussed. It was almost as if the world beyond the battle arena had ceased to exist, and more importantly it allowed him to get a read on his opponent. Though she remained steadfastly quiet (yes, he could now tell that this was definitely a female Flaaffy), her non-verbal communication through pheromones and body language told Boaz a lot about what she was thinking. She was scared of something nearby, although it was more a dull, constant fear than anything immediate, and he could sense that she didn’t really want to fight with him. Why wouldn’t she want to fight though?

The trainer decided to take advantage of Boaz’s hesitation and distraction by pressing his advantage with further attacks. “Restrict its movement with Thunder Wave followed by Cotton Spore.” Once again his Pokémon mutely executed its attacks, beginning by swinging her arm around in tight circles. As she swung a small arc of yellow electricity begun to trail behind her hand until she had reached a high enough speed, she then released the energy towards her opponent.

Boaz saw the arc come flying towards him; now looking like a bolas, but was unable to dodge in time. The electrical bolas struck him and wrapped itself around his midriff, remaining in place for a second or so, and shocking him lightly, before it was absorbed into his body. Now static sparks begun arcing across his skin, and he could feel his muscles tightening as the attack Paralysed him; preventing him from dodging the large balls of cotton that Flaaffy had subsequently shot out of her wool. Like the Thunder Wave, they too bound to his body, although the Cotton Spores remained in place; further slowing and restricting his movement.

There wasn’t much time to initiate a counter-attack, if he didn’t do something soon then this battle would be all over. ‘I’ll just have to go all out with my next few attacks,’ he thought to himself, ‘starting with a Flamethrower.’ Boaz jumped forwards and opened his mouth to bathe Flaaffy in a stream of fire, but no attack was forthcoming. ‘Crap,’ Boaz was almost stunned by his own stupidity, ‘I don’t know the first thing about using any attacks. I’d best try something simple and self-explanatory, like Bite; even I know how to bite people.’

He attempted to lunge at Flaaffy; jaws primed to sink his teeth into her, but a sudden massive static shock rippled through his body. All his muscles locked in place, causing him to fall over painfully as the Paralysis temporarily overwhelmed him.

“This is starting to become ridiculous, Flaaffy finish it up with Power Gem.” Though it was obvious that Flaaffy didn’t enjoy the prospect of kicking a dog when it’s down, she complied with her trainer’s instruction. She swung her tail forward, blasting a torrent of small, brown, sparkling energy bolts in Boaz’s direction.

The Rock-type attack was devastatingly powerful against the poor, beleaguered Houndour, even though it was slightly mitigated by the Cotton Spores that still clung to him, bursting like ablative armour plating and absorbing some of the force. Boaz was sent skidding along the ground, his body still rigidly locked, feeling like he was on the verge of blacking out. Defiantly he attempted to attack once more, managing to launch a pitiful spurt of flame that petered out before it had covered even half the distance between them.

“Don’t worry,” the boy declared as he threw an empty Pokéball towards Boaz, “I’ll make you strong and usable, no matter how hard you have to try.”

Everything was blotted out by a blinding flash of red as the ball struck Boaz, and though he couldn’t see or hear anything he struggled with what little strength that remained to him. But it was all to no avail, as after the passage of a few seconds he heard a sound that he recognised from his own captures. The Pokéball clicked shut. He was trapped inside; now nothing more than the property of this trainer.

Chapter 4:
Time blurred past for Boaz; trapped inside the trainer’s Pokéball, barely aware of any sensations beyond pain and exhaustion. The elation he’d felt whilst battling had entirely ebbed away now, leaving only a hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach. Inside the Pokéball he could only see a dense black fog, only hear a few heavily muted noises from the outside world, smell nothing but his own sweat drenched body. He lay where he was, curled up in a ball, quietly whimpering; not so much from the pain, more from what had happened to him. As if having been captured, tortured, turned into another form of life, dropped into a sewage outlet and beaten up wasn’t bad enough, now he had to contend with the fact that he’d been captured again; but this time there was no way out. If he attempted to escape, then his trainer would simply return him to the Pokéball; he couldn’t get away without the boy’s complicity.

“Welco…teak Pokémo…your tir…” a few heavily muffled words drifted through the fog, a woman’s voice that he was certain he recognised. Boaz barely had time to think any further on this when a bright white light pierced the haze, suffusing every part of his body. A series of chimes could be heard as the light shined, five of them, with the third and fourth slightly closer together, he was sure that he recognised that sound from somewhere as well. He instantly felt far better than he had in a long time; he’d barely have known that he’d been on the losing end of a fight, if it weren’t for the fact that he remembered it so clearly. Then the voice returned, still partially muffled but much clearer than before, and the pieces of the puzzle clicked into place. “Thank you for waiting, we’ve restored your Pokémon to full health. Feel free to use the facilities, and don’t hesitate to stop by if you need our services again.” They must be in the Ecruteak Pokécentre.

Now that he’d been restored by the tender ministrations of Nurse Joy’s healing machine, the dense fog that had obscured everything was gone. The inside of the Pokéball looked vastly different compared to what he’d thought. He had always assumed that either Pokémon were completely unaware of any time they spent in them (that they essentially stopped existing whilst inside), or that it was some sort of virtual reality designed to simulate a pleasant environment. But now that he was actually inside one, it was surprisingly empty. The environment seemed to consist solely of empty space as far as the eye could see, a far reaching blackness with only a single boundary. That boundary was about two thirds of the way up the horizon, where the blackness gave way to a limited view of the outside world.

From what he could see his Pokéball was still resting on the main counter; he could see the faces of both Nurse Joy and the boy who had captured him. Several other trainers were milling about the area nearby and he thought he caught a glimpse of a Pokémon stood on the counter, near the bottom of the outside view. Just as he was trying to get a better look at the Pokémon - he could have sworn that it looked like the side of Sam’s head - his trainer reached down and placed his hand over the top of the Pokéball. The ball was lifted up and placed back on his belt, leaving Boaz with a view of nothing but the inside of his trainer’s coat.

Boaz decided to stand up and explore the environment, but he had only taken a few steps when a voice seemed to come out of nowhere.

“Hey, it looks like he’s finally awake.” The voice was female, it sounded like she was a little bit older than Boaz, and she seemed relieved about something.

“Who’s there?” Boaz spun around, looking for the source of the sound. It was impossible for more than one Pokémon to inhabit the same Pokéball, but he was almost certain that the sound wasn’t coming from outside.

“Don’t be alarmed,” the voice said, followed by the sudden appearance of a screen floating in mid-air bearing the image of the Flaaffy that he’d fought earlier. Boaz jumped back in surprise, prompting a short round of giggling from her, “Sorry about that, it can be a little surprising at first. How are you feeling? I hope I didn’t hurt you too much earlier.”

“Erm…I’m fine thanks to Nurse Joy, and don’t worry about the battle. I know you were just doing what you were told, no hard feelings.”

She smiled back at him, “Good to hear, although if you don’t mind me saying you kind of sucked at battling…I didn’t catch your name.”

Boaz blushed a bit at that statement, “Well, I haven’t exactly had a lot of experience; so… but anyway, I’m Boaz. You’re Flaaffy, right?”

“Name’s Aria. Not that he has any idea, or cares enough to try and give me another name. In case you haven’t guessed who I’m talking about I’m referring to our human, he’s called Lorcán.” Aria looked off to the side of the screen, behaving slightly shiftily, it was clear that she didn’t want to talk about Lorcán.

Being the natural good-guy that he was, Boaz calmly changed the subject, “So, what’s with the inside of the Pokéball? I don’t know, but I’d have thought there’d be something more than a featureless expanse; although the TV screen’s nice.”

Aria gladly accepted the bait, “It depends really, the inside is sort of a virtual reality. With practice you can learn to control how it appears, but it also reflects your mood. I don’t think you’ll have much time to learn though; he’ll want to start training you right away,” her voice trailed off as she mentioned Lorcán. “Of course the Pokéball inter-communication is another matter entirely,” she said, brightening up, “for that you can thank Trojan. Hey Trojan, come say hi to the new guy.”

A second screen popped into existence beside the first, this time showing a vastly different face. This Pokémon was blue and white with a very angular face; it looked like someone had designed it on a computer from ten or fifteen years ago. Even though this Pokémon was almost never encountered in the wild and few trainers had even heard of it let alone seen it, Boaz recognised it from a sci-fi program he used to watch as a child. It was a Porygon, the world’s first and only (discounting its evolved forms) artificially created Pokémon; although this one was the even rarer alternate coloured version.

When it spoke, it had a harsh, grating, synthesised voice with a rising inflection, enunciating each syllable separately, it sounded like a robot from an old black and white movie. “Greetings, I am Trojan. I have networked the Pokéball’s internal computers together, allowing us to communicate.” Trojan had no facial features and little variation in the tone of his voice, so it was very difficult to determine how he felt about what anything said.

“He’s pretty handy with stuff like that, not everyone appreciates it of course,” Aria said, rolling her eyes as she referred to the members of Lorcán’s team. “Tropius and Lucario are both too loyal to Lorcán to do anything without his say so.” Based on her facial expressions, it seemed that Aria associated loyalty to him with fear of him. Was their trainer really such a bad person?

“So it’s not just the three of us in here then?” Boaz asked, hoping to get some more information on the other Pokémon.

Aria begun to answer, but was then cut off by Trojan, “Warning. Lorcán has reached his destination. Training will begin soon.”

“Looks like you’ll get the opportunity to find out,” Aria sounded practically apologetic as both the screens vanished, and soon everything was obliterated by white incandescence as Boaz was released from his Pokéball.

----​

Boaz blinked a few times until his eyes adjusted to the lighting conditions, and once he could see properly he found that his surroundings were oddly familiar. He correctly surmised that they were in the same clearing that he’d been captured in earlier; but was more surprised to discover that it was roughly mid-morning. Either he’d been unconscious for longer than he thought, or time passed at a different rate whilst inside the Pokéball; either possibility was equally as likely.

The clearing was much the same as he remembered it; thick trees and bushes all along the edges, a couple of small stones in a circle, unbroken view of the sky above. A pair of Pidgey flew past above discussing changing air currents and wind speeds; he tried to block them out as he focussed on the Pokémon who were on the ground with him. He recognised Aria and Trojan from their mini-conference in the Pokéballs, alongside them were the two that he hadn’t yet had the chance to meet; Tropius and Lucario. Tropius looked like a brown and green dinosaur (a sauropod in particular) with a bunch of bananas hanging from its chin and two large pairs of palm leaves strapped to its back; he was much taller than Boaz had been even when human. Lucario on the other hand was a yellow, blue and black bipedal jackal, three white spikes sticking out of its body (one on the back of each hand and one on its chest), she almost came up to Lorcán’s shoulders. All four Pokémon were stood rigidly to attention in a line; except Trojan, who floated rigidly to attention. Aria looked afraid of even breathing out of turn, both Tropius and Lucario glared at Boaz, presumably for standing out of line. It mystified him how one trainer could seemingly inspire such terror and loyalty at the same time.

“Turn around Houndour!” Lorcán barked out suddenly, causing Boaz to jump. His voice carried the air of a sergeant bawling out his troops, and elicited the same response from Boaz; it was a difficult voice to disobey. “It’s time to begin your training. Give me a Flamethrower against those rocks.”

Boaz knew that Lorcán’s commands were useless, he simply didn’t have the slightest idea of how to attack. He pointedly turned towards his target and blasted out a quick breath of air, no hotter than a summer’s breeze.

Lorcán was not impressed, he could sense that this Pokémon was barely trying. This called for a change in tactics, “Houndour, go stand by those rocks.” He watched dispassionately as the Pokémon sauntered over to the rocks; ignoring the way that Aria watched with concern. “You will use a Flamethrower attack on Lucario, Lucario use Close Combat on him.”

Boaz was too stunned to think for a second, he hadn’t been expecting an attack from Lorcán. There was no way that he’d be able to learn how to use Flamethrower in this short time. Lucario crossed the space in between them quickly, and proved Boaz’s prediction correct as he was unable to muster an attack. He cringed as she covered the final few feet; still half-hoping for her to be recalled before she struck.

Lucario struck Boaz right between the eyes with her fist, and then proceeded to pummel him at point-blank range; landing several blows in quick succession. She had managed to strike him nearly a dozen times before she was recalled, head-butting him viciously as her parting shot before obediently trotting back to her master.

“We’re going to keep at this until you are capable of attacking, Houndour, so you’d better start focussing. Lucario use Close Combat again; but go slower to give him some extra time.”

Lucario begun to advance menacingly on Boaz, striding forward at walking speed. He tried to focus on attacking her, but the thought of another Close Combat pummelling drove everything else from his mind.

“Forget about Lucario,” Aria yelled out from the side-lines, “just focus on making fire.”

“Did I give you permission to speak?” Lorcán asked, reaching into his backpack. Aria was already flinching in anticipation before his hand came out, carrying a steel whip. Lorcán swung it expertly and lashed the tip across Aria’s cheek, leaving behind a thin trail of blood; the signature crack of the whip drowning out Aria’s cry of pain.

Seeing this made Boaz livid; he was angrier than he could ever remember having been. The secret to Lorcán’s relationship with his Pokémon had finally been revealed, and the thought that anyone could treat another living creature like this sickened him to his very core. ‘Well he may have beaten the rest of them into submission,’ Boaz thought, ‘but I won’t go down so easily.’

The sudden burst of speed from Boaz surprised Lucario, who immediately dropped to a lower posture in preparation to intercept his attack.

As he ran forwards, all thoughts of fear had fled from Boaz’s mind; there was only room for anger and fire. He leapt over Lucario; unleashing a powerful Flamethrower which obscured her vision, causing her to miss him with her Close Combat. Boaz paid her no heed and continued running towards Lorcán, preparing to Bite him viciously on his whipping arm.

But Lorcán saw the attack coming and easily side-stepped the enraged Houndour, lashing the whip across his back in retaliation.

The pain from the whip caught Boaz by surprise, it felt far different to the pain caused by being hit by other Pokémon. The pain was much sharper, somehow more real and far more painful; no wonder this kind of physical discipline had such a profound effect on Pokémon. On the edge of his vision he could see Aria standing there, clearly upset by what was happening, but too afraid to do anything about it.

“You have a strong spirit Houndour, but we’ll soon see to directing that energy into a more useful direction. Now, get back over to those rocks unless you want to a few more lashes.”

Boaz had easily had enough of Lorcán by now, and refused to let this pitiful excuse for a trainer continue in this manner. He unleashed another Flamethrower attack (now that he’d done it once it was easy), burning Lorcán’s arm and causing him to drop his whip in pain. No one could quite believe what was happening, Lorcán along with all four other Pokémon were too stunned by this turn of events to say or do anything. “You’ve all suffered under him for far too long. It’s time for us to leave, and I won’t let him or anyone else stand in our way.”

 

Chapter 5:
His declaration of intent to save them from this abusive trainer didn’t have the rallying effect that he’d hoped for (instead it had the effect he should have expected). Both Trojan and Aria remained rooted to the spot; still held by their fear of Lorcán. However, Lucario and Tropius both leapt to his defence; interposing themselves between Boaz and the trainer. Looking to him for guidance, they discovered that he was still too concerned with his injured arm to order them around. Without so much as a word the two of them both launched attacks at Boaz; a vortex of glowing green leaves from Tropius’ palm leaf wings and a large blue sphere of energy from Lucario’s hands.

Boaz dived backwards, firing off a Flamethrower in a desperate attempt to counter the two attacks, and it seemed that fortune was on his side. Due to the lack of trainer direction their attacks collided mere inches in front of where he’d been stood and, when combined with the Flamethrower, succeeded in doing nothing but exploding. Tropius and Lucario immediately launched into an argument with each other about whose fault this had been, giving Boaz a short time to plead with Aria and Trojan.

“Guys, help me out here and I promise that I’ll take you somewhere safe. He’ll never be able to hurt you again. Trainers and their Pokémon are supposed to be partners, friends, and this man is nothing but a pitiful excuse for a human being. Please, trust me.” He yelped suddenly as blade of wind released by Tropius smashed into his side, followed quickly by Lucario barrelling into him at an astonishing speed.

Lucario stood triumphantly over Boaz as he lay on the ground, he was really on the ropes now and she knew it. She placed her hands beside each other at her hip, and then pulled her right hand across her front, as if drawing a sword. As it travelled her hand left a glowing katana in the air, the end of it topped off with a bone-like protrusion. She swung the katana out behind her, preparing to finish Boaz’s attempted rebellion with a powerful Bone Rush.

The blow never landed, as Lucario was propelled over Boaz’s prone form into a nearby tree; a beam of rainbow energy pinning her there briefly. As she slid down the tree the katana fading out of existence whilst Trojan flew forwards and floated over Boaz.

“So you do trust me?” Boaz weakly asked.

“Affirmative. Although probability of escape is only 62.4657%, we must still try.” He floated slightly closer to Lucario and used Psybeam once again to keep her pinned in place.

“Look out,” cried Boaz, as Tropius begun descending towards Trojan from above clothed in streaks of white light. But his attack never struck as a huge bolt of electricity smashed into him, knocking him from the sky.

“Probability of escape increased to 87.559%,” chirped Trojan as Aria bounded up towards Boaz and helped him back to his feet.

“I’m sorry I didn’t act sooner, it’s just…” There were tears shining in her eyes as she apologised, but Boaz placed his left forepaw on her arm.

“Don’t worry about it,” he smiled back at her.

Aria felt herself beginning to blush, so she covered it up by turning around and hitting the barely conscious Tropius with another Thunder.

The fight was practically over, but it had gone on long enough for Lorcán to acclimatise to the pain. He stood up, cradling his burnt hand against his chest and holding a Pokéball in the other. “I am going to make you all pay for this! But for now I’ll just have to contain you.” He raised the ball and triggered its mechanism, firing out a red laser that engulfed Aria, returning her to the orb. Lorcán dropped the ball to the ground and grabbed the next one from his belt, pointing it towards Trojan.

“Initiating back-door protocol.” Trojan’s eyes glazed over as he begun reciting a meaningless string of ones and zeroes at lightning speed. “Pokéball functionality input overridden, release mechanism triggered.” Without warning Aria’s Pokéball reopened, sending her out in a blaze of blue light, and the other four Pokéball’s in Lorcán’s possession each shot out a beam of blue. Each beam struck the Pokémon that the ball had previously contained and briefly surrounded them with a corona of blue. “Come, we must flee.” Trojan turned around and sped off into the woods, followed closely by Boaz and Aria. All three Pokémon were glad to leave the abusive trainer behind, and Trojan and Aria felt an elation that few people would never experience; they were finally free.

----​

Once they reached town, it took Boaz a lot of coaxing to convince Trojan and Aria to follow him to the Pokécentre. They were both worried that Lorcán would be there, despite his reminding them that he had no reason to suspect they were going there. He would probably still be looking for them in the woods, and even if he was here then Boaz’s friends would protect them. Up until this point he had been reluctant to mention them, because that led to the inevitable question of who they were, how they knew him and how would they keep them safe. He didn’t particularly want to have to explain; partially because he still wasn’t sure that they were alive, but mostly because that would mean he’d have to tell them that he was really a human, and he didn’t want to have to explain the whole situation twice (once to these two and once to his own Pokémon). There was also the fact that he barely believed the story himself, so without someone there who could back up his identity they were likely to assume that Boaz was, in fact, insane.

Boaz took the three of them around to the back entrance, just on the off chance that Lorcán had actually come here. After some careful manipulation of the electronic lock (i.e. Trojan hacked it), they quietly entered the treatment area. He hoped that they would come across one of his Pokémon before any that belonged to the Pokécentre, although he doubted that they’d get into any trouble.

“Are you sure we should be doing this?” Aria whispered to Boaz, looking around nervously. “Maybe we should just get out of here and find somewhere safe.”

“Who’s there?” a voice called out from around the corner ahead of them. Aria held her hands up to her mouth, too late to stop the words that had led to their discovery. Boaz on the other hand felt that the voice had a familiar tone to it, but couldn’t for the life of him place the owner.

A Ralts walked into their corridor carrying a small tray of surgical tools, a blue scarf around its neck, “Who are you and what are you doing back here?”

“Sam?!?” Boaz cried out, able to recognise his partner even if he hadn’t been wearing his trademark scarf. He ran forward to greet Sam, bowling him over and hugging him ferociously, tears freely flowing down his face. “Oh Sam, I thought I’d lost you. She said you were all dead and…and…oh I’ve missed you so much.”

The significance of this tearful reunion was lost on his new companions, and Sam himself was flabbergasted for a few seconds before his brain caught up with him. Despite the impossibility of the situation, he knew both the voice and the psychically detected emotional readings of his master. “Boaz, what the?!? How in?!? What’s going on?”

----​

“…and that’s when we came in through the back entrance, you know the story from there onwards,” Boaz finished explaining. After the initial surprise had worn off, Sam had escorted them to the same room in which they’d planned their ill-fated raid on the Team Rocket facility. He’d fetched the rest of Boaz’s Pokémon, all of whom were helping out with various duties around the Pokécentre, and then Boaz had told them the entire story since they’d first separated. It had been a major effort to convince Aria and Trojan that he was telling the truth, but they’d finally accepted that all five of these Pokémon couldn’t possibly be having the same, incredibly detailed and consistent, delusion.

“I’m so sorry, he came into the Pokécentre earlier today and I was actually stood on the front counter. I faintly detected you, but when you went out of range I thought it’d just been wishful thinking. If I’d only known, then maybe…” Sam admonished himself.

“Hey, don’t blame yourself, there was no way of even suspecting what had happened to me. And even if you’d known, there wouldn’t have been anything you could do; no one could have understood you, and wouldn’t have believed you if they had. The important thing is that I’m back now.”

“Yes, but what do we do about it,” asked Glaurung. “Though I must admit that you’ll probably make a great Houndour, you can’t continue your crusade against Team Rocket like this. And there are probably very few humans who would be ok with the thought of a Pokémon as a trainer, even if you could learn to speak English again.”

‘Always the practical one,’ thought Boaz to himself. “I know, we really only have three choices. The first is to abandon my quest and retreat to the wild to live out of harm’s way,” the ripple of protests from the group echoed his own feelings on the matter (even Aria and Trojan were against this option, once Sam explained the background of the situation to them). “Secondly I can ask Trojan if there’s anything he can do with the nanobots,” he turned expectantly to the Virtual Pokémon.

“I have already done a detailed scan of the machines, now that I know to look for them. They are linked together in a dedicated network with firewalls that are almost impossible to breach. Given a few days of effort, I may be able to crack the network, but I give no guarantees.”

“That’s what I thought, which leaves us the third option; break into the facility again and shut the nanobots off from there. None of you have to come with me, you can continue to wait here and Aria and Trojan are free to do as they wish, I won’t force any of you to put yourselves at risk.” He hardly had a second to wait before his first answer came in, simultaneously from Sam, Kara and Glaurung – an emphatic yes. Surprisingly Osaka also answered yes, despite always giving the impression that she neither paid attention to nor understood what was going on. Even more surprising were the answers that he got from Aria and Trojan.

“You will need my computing power to access their systems. My presence will vastly improve your chances of success,” it was difficult to tell with Trojan, but he looked like he was smiling as he said this.

“If you think that I’d abandon you after all that you’ve done for us,” Aria was most definitely smiling as she said this.

Boaz was touched by the loyalty of everyone, especially his newest friends, and resolved that this time the invasion would go much better. “Ok then, let’s go over the plan…”

Chapter 6:
‘So far, so good,’ Boaz said to himself as he watched a pair of boots pass in front of the ventilation grille that he was hidden behind. Once again he’d selected the ventilation system for their ingress, correctly reasoning that they wouldn’t have beefed up security (‘after all,’ they would think, ‘Boaz normally adopted a professional approach and so wouldn’t dream of trying the same trick twice’). However this time they did have two additional factors in their favour. Firstly Trojan had discovered a fatal flaw in the security computers and was actively looping the readings from any monitoring devices, preventing them from being detected. Secondly he’d sent Kara, Osaka and Glaurung through the underground stream that fed the base’s water needs to cause damage and disruption down there.

He was positive that they were now just outside of the laboratory in which he’d been transformed, so all that remained was to wait for the enemy to notice what was going on below them. Boaz, Sam and Aria all waited with bated breath (Trojan didn’t breathe, so he just waited) in the ventilation duct, doing their best to remain silent. It would be almost impossible to fight their way out in this confined space. Discovery would mean either capture or a quick Teleport out; either possibility cast serious doubt on their ability to try again.

An explosion reverberated through the mountain, causing one of the guards outside the laboratory to fall against the ventilation grille, dislodging it slightly. “What the hell was that?!?”

“Alert, alert,” a voice cried out over the PA system, “main reactor coolant system compromised, switching over to backup power. All available men with Water Pokémon report to reservoir control immediately.”

“Something must have gotten into the pipes again, I’ll be back as soon as I can,” the fallen grunt declared, rising to his feet.

“Just hurry back, I don’t like standing here alone. Some of the things that they say she does in there…” He shuddered as he recalled the stories that were passed around the base canteen.

Boaz waited until he could no longer hear the retreating footsteps of the guard before sliding himself as far as he could go. The duct narrowed considerably towards the end, small enough that none of them could crawl through; but it did afford him a good view of the remaining guard. “Sam, Teleport out there and hit him with Hypnosis,” he whispered, barely loud enough for the next Pokémon behind him to hear.

A bright flash of light behind and then in front announced that Sam had heard him, followed by a garbled declaration from the guard as Sam swiftly put him to sleep. “Coast’s clear, hang on a sec…” Sam then Teleported back into the duct, and a quick succession of Teleports later saw all four of them stood in the corridor. Trojan spent nearly a minute hacking the lock on the door, but it was soon opened.

Boaz felt a moment of trepidation as he set foot back in the laboratory, a shiver running down his spine as he recalled what had been done to him last time he was here. He smiled weakly at Sam in answer to a look of concern, “Ok, let’s do this. Sam and Aria keep lookout and Trojan get to work on the computer.” He hopped onto a circular platform in the centre of the lab, easily recognisable as his former prison with the glass walls retracted.

“This computer is incredibly complex, and non-networked. I will have to manually hack the systems, this will take several minutes,” Trojan spun around to face his tail towards the computer. His tail glowed briefly and the end changed shape, allowing him to slide it into one of the slots on the research computer. The screen lit up to show a list of all the files stored on it, then strings of binary computer code begun scrolling across sections of the screen, before finally a progress bar appeared. Large words accompanied the progress bar ‘Control Shift in Progress, Stand By.’

A loud electrical discharge sounded from Boaz’s right, eliciting a yelp of pain from further down the corridor. “We’ve got company,” Aria yelled, firing a second Thunder towards the oncoming wave of Team Rocket Pokémon. Two Muk – large, purple, slime Pokémon – were slithering in their direction, protecting a Gliscor (a big, purple, bat-like Pokémon, with vicious claws on its arms) that bounced along behind them on its long, muscular tail. Both of the Muk were projecting spherical, green force-fields and Aria’s attack was nullified.

“Wait until their Protects fade and then use Power Gem. Sam, use Psychic one second after Aria’s launched her attack.”

The instant that the two barriers faded, Aria swung her tail forward to blast out a stream of brown energy bolts; only for her attack to be stopped once again. Both Muk had fired a pair of Sludge Bomb attacks, and Aria’s Power Gem collided with the two globs of slime half-way between the two groups of Pokémon, exploding into a cloud of smoke. Thankfully Boaz had correctly predicted this behaviour, and the two pulses of psychic energy that Sam had thrown cut straight through the smoke and both Muk cursed loudly as they were hit.

But Boaz’s prediction hadn’t been perfect, as Gliscor flew out of the smoke, a menacing look on its face. Its right claw was glowing black and it swung a Night Slash at Sam, who managed to move to the side and only receive a glancing blow. The damage was done though, as Gliscor was now amongst them launching quick slashing attacks at Aria and Sam alternately. Neither of them would be able to do much to combat him, particularly at this range, and Boaz was reluctant to use his Flamethrower for the risk of hitting them.

Gliscor used another Night Slash on Sam, throwing him backwards and creating an opening to attack, but Trojan beat Boaz to the punch. A trio of orbs coloured red, yellow and blue, flew across the room, spinning in a helix, and struck Gliscor squarely in the chest. Just at the point of impact the blue orb brightened and ice begun to spread out and cover the struggling Pokémon.

Sam saw his chance for a little revenge and used his Confusion attack to telekinetically throw Gliscor into the two approaching Muk, and then stepped back into the lab as the doors begun to close. He stood there, breathing heavily, as a bright, white light suddenly enveloped him. Boaz watched in amazement as Sam grew to almost twice his height, before the light disappeared to reveal Sam’s newly evolved appearance. As a Kirlia, Sam now looked like a ballet dancer dressed in white, with long, green legs. His eyes were now visible, his ‘helmet’ having morphed into hair that hung down beside his face; the front and back ‘horns’ had both migrated to either side of the top of his head.

“You’ve evolved into a Kirlia Sam,” Boaz blurted out, expertly stating the obvious.

“There is no time,” called Trojan from his position on the computer. “The door will only hold them for a while, please step onto the platform and I will deactivate the nanobots. Once the operation is complete I will irretrievably erase all data on this system and then activate the self-destruct mechanism.”

“Make sure you leave a long enough time-delay so that they can escape, I’m not in the business of murder,” Boaz instructed him, turning towards the platform. As he began hopping up, the importance of Trojan’s wording hit him. “Deactivate, not remove or destroy?”

“Affirmative, I am unable to exterminate the nanobots, nor permanently shut them down. They will remain in your system, and there will always be a risk of them reinitialising. I cannot say for certain.”

“I’ll be stuck with them forever, and this could happen again?” he asked, already knowing the answer before Trojan’s nod of confirmation. It didn’t change anything, chance of retransformation or not he only had one option; Boaz stepped onto the platform and signalled his readiness.

Compared to the initial change, this was comparatively pleasant. He felt a dissociated tingling across his entire body, followed by an uncomfortable vertigo as he suddenly increased in size. Besides that he only felt a sense of embarrassment as he realised that he was completely naked.

None of the Pokémon decided to comment on this fact as a pair of scythe-like talons pushed through the crack in the door. They started moving the two sides of the door apart but before it was open enough to get through, the team had gathered together and Sam had Teleported them to the designated rendezvous point.

----​

Sam collapsed with exhaustion as soon as they arrived, skewing their rematerialisation and landing them at the bottom of the hill they’d been aiming for. Boaz was thankful that there was no one else around as he quickly hiked up to the tree that they’d stashed his belongings in before entering the facility. Whilst he dressed, Aria made sure that Sam was comfortably lying down, putting a small pile of leaves under his head.

Once he was fully clothed Boaz came back down and gave Sam a quick spray with a Super Potion to soothe any injuries he had received in the battle, before giving the same treatment to Aria.

“Daunt Crawdaunt,” Kara declared as she emerged from a nearby bush, followed closely by Glaurung and Osaka.

Boaz wasn’t entirely sure, but he could swear that she’d said “Looks like we won.” He normally found that he could practically understand Sam, but they’d been working together far longer than he and Kara had, so this was a little more surprising. Perhaps his time as a Pokémon had given him a better ability to predict what they said, or the nanobots hadn’t affected a complete change and he still had Houndour’s slightly heightened senses. If either was true then, with practice, he may actually learn to understand them fully. There was also the possibility that he was imagining it, but he dismissed that (more out of desire not to be crazy than because of any evidence).

“We did some good work today guys, if the rest of their research at that base was anything like what they did to me…it doesn’t even bear thinking about how much damage they could have done.” He turned to face the mountainside, “We’ll wait until the base explodes, I’d rather see it go up in smoke.”

“Gon gon, Porygon,” Trojan stated, matter-of-factly.

“Oh, we I guess that makes sense,” Boaz said disappointedly; the base flooding with water and a cementing agent wasn’t exactly his idea of an appropriate finish. He’d been looking forward to seeing the explosion, it would have been cathartic. It still hadn’t occurred to Boaz that he’d just responded to a Pokémon that he barely knew, seemingly fully comprehending what it’d said, but all six Pokémon had registered this fact.

“I guess it’s time for us to get going then,” he pulled out three Pokéballs and returned Kara, Glaurung and Osaka to them, content in the knowledge that their in-stasis environments were pleasant (based on the fact that Aria had said it reflects their mood, and he always treated them well). “I’ll have to carry Sam to the Pokécentre, he doesn’t like being inside his ball,” he strolled over to his prone partner and picked him up. “Guess I’ll see you guys around.”

Boaz started to walk away, but then appeared to think better of it. “Of course, I’ve got a couple of spare Pokéballs, if you’d like to come with me?”



Note: Obviously the grader decision will determine whether or not Trojan and Aria decide to join Boaz’s team. As for Houndour’s capture, it’s a question of whether or not the nanobots will still function (possibly activating and deactivating at will, with practice).

 

Claimed for grading. It's going to take a while.

 

Ta-daaa!

INTRO
What impression did I get when I started reading this?

Okay, this is a long one! The introductory impressions are going to be especially important. Here I go. (I won't be reading the previous chapters before I start this one. I'm not sure I have the time.)

Your first sentence is a run-on. Oh, dear. You use the "A did B as he also did C" construction, but you did it twice in a row: "A did B as he also did C as he also did D." That's no way to begin a story.

Grammar is one of the most important parts of a first impression, so I'm going to go to town on the first two or three paragraphs. Actually, the whole prologue. I guess that's four.

First paragraph: Word choice: pneumatic drills don't pound. You want a jackhammer. Ignore that. It's an American/British thing, apparently. Seeing as you use "grey" at the end of the paragraph, I guess you're going to go with the Commonwealth spellings. In that vein, what you as an Englishman (?) would call a pneumatic drill is what I as an American would call a jackhammer. Anyway. You need a comma after "firstly" since it's a transition word. You have a misuse of semicolons after "heavy night of drinking:" the clause that comes after a semicolon must be able to stand as a separate sentence. You need to use a colon in this instance instead.

Second paragraph: You need a comma after "recently." That's how you'd phrase it when you're speaking. Semicolon problem again: since you can't begin sentences with a "but," you can't put a "but" after a semicolon.

Third paragraph: "He was sat" is kind of awkward. I think you'd do better with removing the passive thing and just saying "he was sitting." Otherwise, if you really want to use passive, you should probably say "he had been sat." The semicolon trouble shows up again: "a plain metal plate at both the top and bottom" is not an independent clause. Use a normal comma instead. The next semicolon has the same problem. Use a comma there too.
Special focus:

This sentence begins with a list of things that fill the lab. The accepted form is "object, object, ... and object." However, you lack the ", and" and stick on the next sentence instead. International differences again. The "serial comma" is the comma placed before "and" or "or" for the last item of a list: "me, you, and the little dog too" has one. "Me, you and the little dog too" lacks one. Americans consider the serial comma to be required. I'm informed that the English/Commonwealth residents don't. I guess the grammar's fine by your standards, then. It's still not acceptable to tack on the next sentence with a comma, though. This is called a "comma splice" and it's dreadfully common. You should probably split it. I've put the serial comma in parentheses since you probably won't need it:
"Every surface was taken up by computers, odd machinery(,) and chemical flasks. One corner of the lab housed three robotic arms, each currently inactive and holding a sharp surgical implement."

Fourth paragraph: Ehhh, no big deal.

As for my general impressions: you give us a main character in a strange situation. He's apparently suffering from hangover symptoms thanks to a blow to the head. He's also either a Team Rocket member or disguised as one and stuck in a mad scientist's lair. This is a good opening. We're invested in seeing how the protagonist's going to get out of this one. Since I lack the context of the previous chapters (and many other readers of this story will be the same way) I'm also interested in seeing just how Boaz is related to Team Rocket. Hopefully, the reveal will be subtle and exciting.

Not a single Pokemon showed up, either. I was too interested in the other stuff to really notice, though.

PLOT
Is it a good story?

Oho, a transformation story! I think this is the first one I've read, which is probably strange considering I've heard it's a fairly popular genre.

I'm going to split this section in two. The first will be the impressions I get before reading the previous chapters. The second part I will write after reading the other two chapters- oh. Huh. I just found out that I've already read Chapter Two. I was voting for the NWC and this was one of the ones I read. Well, I'll read Chapter One after I write the first half of the PLOT section and try to forget what I know about time-traveling Ralts.

And we're off!

So, this story... the overall outline is fairly simple- man goes on revenge raid against Team Rocket, gets zapped, breaks in to get un-zapped. That said, I thought the pacing was excellent. Although I was easily able to horrendously condense the plot of the story just now, you've written it such that even though it's long enough for three Pokemon, the plot never seems to be dragging itself along.

You make Boaz a pretty sympathetic character while avoiding the trap of the Marty Stu. (Mary-Sue male variant) We see that he's a pretty competent guy who no longer relies on his old privileged life to get things done. In fact, the resources and people involved in those old privileges are now turned against him. You also spend a good part of the story treating him as your personal punching bag. Poor Boaz! The segment with Lorcán made for good reading. Putting him in this situation had its definite purposes: loss of the I'm-a-Pokemon-this-is-great mentality, the addition of two new team members, and the exploration of how a Pokemon may feel about its Trainer. Lorcán is also deliciously evil. More compelling than that Astrid scientist lady, actually. Mad scientists aren't as interesting as a kid stuck in the Marty Stu mold with an exploration of his subsequent moral decay. I'm not sure if you were actively parodying the typical super-Trainer stereotype, but he was a good character. However, getting Boaz into the situation with him seemed rather contrived to me. Boaz acts like a complete moron for a good five minutes. Has he done this before? You've set him up as a guy who knows what he's about, and he manages to bumble around and get caught in a Poke Ball without even managing a single attack. I understand that he has to lose for story purposes, but surely he would have put up more of a fight? ...unfortunately, I recognize that opinions like these are only opinions. Having the protagonist suffer a total defeat is a time-honored writing technique. I guess you just got a big reaction out of me over how Boaz got a thorough butt-kicking. That's good writing! If a rewrite is ever warranted, I'd suggest that you elaborate on just how messed-up in the head Boaz is now that he's turned into a Pokemon. Since he seems to make a livelihood out of quick thinking, you have to show and justify that he's completely lost it during the encounter with Lorcán.

The rest of the story is a bit of a setup for future chapters. Boaz will be, depending on my grade (oh dear), the Pokemon equivalent of a werewolf. You've also accumulated two more members for his team. How many is that? Um... Kara the Corphish, first chapter capture; Ayumu Kasuga the Shellos, second chapter capture; Sam the Ralts and Glaurung the Dratini, previously owned; and now Trojan the shiny(!) Porygon and Aria the Flaaffy, current chapter. That's a full six-Pokemon team right there. I like that you're using stories to assemble this guy's team and show continuity between chapters. You even take the opportunity to give a battlefield promotion to Sam! One issue with a full team, though, is giving enough time to everyone. The three Water/whatever-types did little to nothing this chapter. I have to wonder if they played a larger part in previous chapters, but I haven't read them yet. You need either to give them more "screen time" or don't use them as characters. Only name characters who will actually do something, especially when they're in the protagonist's party.

I also feel that we had a bit of a missed opportunity with Mad Scientist Astrid. You set her up as a minor antagonist in the earlier parts of the story. It might have been nice to have seen a "rematch" later on. Boaz manages to fight off Lorcán, which was somewhat satisfying. Also shutting Astrid down would have been good too. I guess you could also use her as a long-term antagonist, such as with Boaz's not-so-loving family. A little foreshadowing would have gone a long way in that case.

I also have a comment on the way you opened the story. So it's a flashback. Flashbacks are a bread-and-butter writing technique, no question there. However, it's a bit long, to the point where I was a little lost once you jumped back to the present. Of course, this was exacerbated by my stopping reading after the prologue to finish off the INTRO section of this grade. That's my fault. Still, you could stand to tighten it up a little.

That's the end of part one. I will now go and read the rest of what you've got. I guess I'll read the previous graders' comments as well. I'll just be a few minutes...

Well! This chapter is much better than the previous two. Better grammar, better formatting, better plot! Better plot? Better plot: this is the first chapter where we see Boaz actually engage Team Rocket. There are no Legendary Pokemon involved this time either, making things far simpler and meaning you don't have any dei ex machina. I remember thinking during the NWC grading process that Dialga and Celebi were a bit much to swallow. This time, everything's well within the realm of reason. Except the nanotechnology. But I'll kvetch about that later.

Reading the previous two chapters also emphasizes to me just how ably you're linking everything together. This third chapter was good enough as a standalone and you rejected the temptation to just make constant continuity references to previous events. We still get to see how the characters from previous story mature and grow, though, which is what's important. You're using a fairly episodic style, meaning that we don't see any major references to previous time-travel. It's all good.

DIALOGUE
Do we understand what they're saying?

Dialogue? No problem.

I guess there's one missed opportunity, though. You could have, with some thought, made major differences between human and Pokemon thought patterns and dialogue. This would have made Boaz's transition into Houndour-dom a little more jarring.

There's also one line where I think your intended effect may have fallen flat:

While the intent is clear (Sam is overcome), the extra punctuation marks and stilted dialogue kind of ruin it. Two punctuation marks in the row is the absolute limit. You can have ?! for an exclaimed question, but that's it. As the great Sir Terry Pratchett says, "Multiple exclamation marks... are a sure sign of a diseased mind." Of course, he was being humorous, but anyway. If you want Sam to be incapable of finishing his sentences, you need to end them with dashes. They're like hyphens but longer, but I think hyphens are fine for Internet purposes. So:
"Boaz- what the-? How in-?! What's going on?"

The narrator's dialogue isn't half bad, either. There's a bit of snarky sarcasm there, and you have lots of parenthetical asides. I like those. Actually, I have to make an effort to keep myself from overusing them in my own writing.

CHARACTERIZATION
Are your characters original, well-defined, and compelling?

You have several characters of note: Boaz, Astrid, Lorcán, and the eight Pokemon. Let's see, here...

Boaz is your standard adventure protagonist. Messy hair, nice-looking eyes, fast friends with his first Pokemon, dark past and urge to redeem himself. It's done because it works. Notice I said "standard," not "cliched." I've already remarked on his one moment of stupidity, but otherwise he serves as a good protagonist and someone the reader can relate to.

Astrid is a standard evil scientist and the creator of the main plot device for this story. She plays her limited role well.

Lorcán shows how kids can go evil. A whip? Seriously? Oh wait, Ace Trainers have those. Well, it's still over-the-top. And quite effective. Like I said before, I'm wondering if he's supposed to be some kind of commentary on how Trainers are usually written in stories, or if you just wanted an evil guy.

Sam's the most important Pokemon. The rest don't have much of a role. Sam and Boaz continue with their close working relationship. The dynamic's going to change now, though, thanks to Sam now being much taller than he was before. You can't really have as strong a big-brother-little-brother thing going anymore. Seeing how this develops will be interesting. Can they still share a single dish?

About Trojan, though. He is, perhaps, a little too special. Not only is he very rare, he has the shiny coloration and his hacking powers just happen to be essential to the plot. I guess this makes sense since he's on the list for capture. Still, you could have toned him down a bit or explained just what such a powerful Pokemon (there are more kinds of power than battling strength) was doing with a kid like Lorcán.

Is it just me, or am I seeing hints that Aria might *like* like Boaz?

The two Pokemon who stayed with Lorcán: they could have been fleshed out a little more. We never really see their motivations for staying close to such an abusive Trainer. I get the feeling it's more out of inertia than anything else, but it would have been nice to see something happen to or with them in the end. I do need to snap out of the habit of asking for plot points that might as well show up in Chapter Four anyway, don't I? Heh.

GRAMMAR
Does you talk pretty?

The grammar here is better than in the previous chapters. Chapter One had some noticeable problems even after the rewrite.

Let me just see if there are any major errors...

*splitscreen*
*quick scan*

Well, there's always some variation in comma usage between people. I see some non-standard uses here. Comma splices, extra commas between phrases, etc. It's not a big deal, but you could stand to read the Elements of Style. Everyone could. In fact, where's my copy? Hold on. ...could've sworn I had one. Guess I need to go shopping. Still, I do have a style manual by someone named Diana Hacker. It devotes twelve pages to the humble comma, its uses, and its abuses. If you want to add that extra spit-shine to your writing style, reading a style manual is the way to go.
One big thing there: called names must always be set off by commas in dialogue. "You, Boaz, are a lucky man," etc.

You make a big effort with spelling. You even have accented characters! That's going the extra mile. I don't use them in my grades, which is why I have to copy-paste every time I mention Lorcán. I don't bother with the (CTRL-C CTRL-V) é in Pokémon either. But you do. Kudos.

I see some semicolon irregularities like the ones in the INTRODUCTION section. You should probably read up on those as well.

Use of "whilst:" this word is not used in American English. To us Yanks, it seems pretentious and overly fancy. You, however, are not a Yank. I think. Therefore, for you it's fine. Just remember how it's perceived on the other side of the pond.

You ought to know that it's usually written as "Poké Ball." Two words. The guidelines at the regular fanfic section of this forum (Writer's Workshop) suggest that you can use your own spelling so long as it's consistent. It's consistent. It's all good.

The "was sat" thing I commented on in the intro shows up again in Chapter One. This is probably an English thing again, but it does seem out of place to the American reader.

The first sentence of Chapter 6 is a bit longer and unwieldier than it has to be. It's like in the intro: many sentences in this story are kind of run-on. When you write again in the future, be sure to watch the sentences. Read it out in your head. If you feel as though you ought to be gasping for breath or the phrasing seems awkward, it needs a rewrite. You're telling a story, after all, so it ought to feel like a story in your mouth.

The fact that this is a long story is good for you in a sense. Grammatical/spelling errors are more forgivable. Also, it means that I only scanned about half the story. I didn't remember anything heinous from the first readthrough that I haven't already mentioned, though, so you're fine.

DETAIL
Can we see what you're saying?

Your descriptions are good. We get lots of detail in the battles and you let us fill in the blanks on some things, too which is good.

The description of the inside of Poke Balls is novel and interesting. Good stuff. We also get to see how the world, and Pokemon Centers, appear in the eyes of Pokemon.

PLAUSIBILITY
Does it make sense?

I've already talked about Boaz's temporary handling of the Idiot Ball, so that's that.

I have some concerns with the technology used in this story. Namely, the nanotechnology. I understand that you needed something that could turn a human into a Pokemon and back, but you'll need a better explanation of nanotechnology than that. You had in the story the assertion that nanites could modify the DNA sequence of an experimental subject in order to change the body. I like biochemistry...

The Central Dogma of genetics is this:
DNA -> RNA -> protein.
This is an illustration of data flow. Information encoded in DNA is transcribed into RNA as an intermediary. The RNA code is then read off by molecular machines called ribosomes to assemble the proteins that comprise much of the structure of the body. Everything in the body that doesn't end in "-NA" is either a protein assembled at ribosomes or is made/reconfigured by proteins that are ultimately made by ribosomes.

In order to change a body's overall form, dramatic reconfigurations are necessary. These reconfigurations are, generally speaking, impossible for human proteins to accomplish in a time span less than that of years. There are also some things that the human set of proteins absolutely can't do that would be needed to transform into a Houndour.

There is also the consideration that just putting something into the DNA doesn't guarantee that it will be used. Even if you include all the necessary components (promoter, enhancer, histone acetylation, etc) that are needed to flag a synthetic gene as "use me now," you'd have to think about the effects on adjacent genes; i.e. cancer. Gene therapy is controversial for this reason; some data suggest it can cause leukemia.

In order to actually effect that transformation, you'd need the nanites themselves to do the work. Pull the muscles into new positions, reshape the skeleton, mess with the organs, and generate the flame-producing systems... nanotechnology can theoretically do that. However, the energy requirements are enormous. Where's the fuel come from? Boaz will shrink dramatically in size every time he transforms if there's no external energy source. Also, a Houndour weighs all of 23.8 pounds. Where's the extra mass come from for the reverse transformation?

The transformation wouldn't be painless either unless the nanites shut down the entire nervous system. Disassociated tingling and vertigo nothing. When you're going to town on an entire body (including the brain), you are going to feel it.

You ought to read that one story arc of Schlock Mercenary where Kevyn Andreyasn is infected by military-grade medical nanites. It's more realistic.
Here's one strip. Notice that they talk about modifying body molecules and structures instead of DNA.

*END LECTURE*
So anyway, that's the problem with soft science fiction. Inconsistencies make people rant. I'm sorry.

You probably used nanotechnology because it's the go-to thing for causing cool and mostly unexplainable biological changes. That's its main role in science fiction now. It used to be cosmic radiation or magic, but now it's nanotech all the way. Just make sure that scientists, would-be or otherwise, don't read that story. Or use a disclaimer.

May I also recommend Bill's teleportation experiment in the Generation I games? He combined himself with a Clefairy at one point. You could've used that system instead.

LENGTH
Is it long enough?

Triple capture.
Houndour (MEDIUM 10,000-20,000)
Flaaffy (HARD 20,000-30,000)
Porygon (DEMANDING 40,000-55,000)
Total range: 70,000-105,000
You: 78,934 without notes.
Well done.

OVERALL
What did I think, personally?

This was an adventure story. I had an adventure reading it. I had major issues with the nanotechnology thing, but I don't feel that I can impose standards of scientific realism on a Pokemon story-telling subforum. I mean, really, it's Pokemon. Arceus laughs at your pitiful "laws" of "science!" Mua-ha-ha! Um, actually... Arceus-eus-eus!

FINAL
To catch, or not to catch?

Spoiler

TRIPLE CAPTURE

Nanotechnological arguments aside, this was a genuinely exciting adventure. I don't think I've said this before, but I also like Boaz's going all Solid Snake-ey and invading the same base twice with division of forces, etc. The B-plot with the sadistic trainer was also good, if only for the reaction it got out of me. You also showed us with the Lucario and Tropius that Boaz's occasional idealism is not fully justified in a setting like this. My hope is that you'll avoid the standard werewolf-fiction cliches in future chapters, but that's neither here nor there. I was tempted to hold back the Porygon on grounds of scientific accuracy, but your interpretation of nanotechnology is necessary for the story to work the way it does, so I'm dropping the matter. Also, it'd be petty.
So, anyway, enjoy your three new Pokemon. You have earned them with your adventurous story and your good writing. May you use them well in future chapters!

 

Thanks for the grade Taras, I'll try and keep the constructive criticism in mind, just a few points i want to respond to.

Firstly, I really keep meaning to put a note about using UK-English spellings/words/idioms at the top of my stories, because I keep having it mentioned by Graders. I'll try to remember it next time.

Secondly on the tech side, I am actually a scientist myself and know that the workings/effects of the nanites in my story are psuedo-scientific claptrap. But lets face it Pokemon is a soft-science enough setting for it to work in context (what with regular matter-energy conversion, spontaneous matter and energy generation, teleportation, digitisation, etc).

I always thought Poke Ball was one word, my mistake I guess; although for the sake of consistancy I'm hesitant to change it for future stories.

You are right about Boaz's 'Idiot Balling' in the capture scene, I could probably have implied the mental disorientation from the transformation a little better, but I felt that not having him successfully attack was the best option. It just made sense to me that he wouldn't have the same instinctual knowledge of how to execute attacks that even a new-born Pokemon has, or that his human intelligence/thought patterns would prevent him from accessing them except in an emergency.

And finally yes, Aria does *like* Boaz, and I plan to develop on that (or at least run it as a background character development thing) in future stories.

 

And a classy resolution for all. Great!
I have one tiny question, though.
Kara the Corphish: I dropped by your Trainer Stats during the grade and noticed that "Kara" is short for "Karaboudjan." Is that... is that a Tintin reference?! This Corphish is named for the Crab with the Golden Claws?

If so, you are a cool person, Dr. Stubbsberg. Just wanted to say.

 

Ah, always satisfying when someone gets an obscure nickname reference. I'm quite a big Tintin fan.

 

Awesome.