Finding Refuge Part One - (J.E.2)

Finding Refuge Part One - (J.E.2)

Target Pokemon: Tangela, Machop, Houndour
Difficulty: Hard
Target Length: 35k - 60k
Final Length: Approximately 60k

This is the second part of my Jathan Einherjar series, so you should probably read the first one before you read this. Don't worry, apparently it's a fair read.

Author’s Note: Apparently the following isn’t very clear, but Jathan’s actually retelling his story. This is why the story is being told in a past tense and occasionally Jathan may act as a temporary narrator. It’s because he’s narrating his story. And yes, this means there will be quite a few more Jathan stories.

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Chapter One

I sat in my desk, feeling warm and sleepy. I didn't need to pay attention: everyone knew that Public Relations was a bludge class that required no effort to pass. Besides, when this class was over I'd need to return to work on my Chemistry project.

Even as I thought this I felt as though something was wrong, but I pushed the niggling feeling to the back of my mind. I bent over my desk, laying my torso on it, slowly dozing off.

Only then did I realise that I was moving.

I opened my eyes but kept my head on the desk, trying to solve this paradox. How could I be sitting at my desk and yet still feel the floor moving underneath me?

My head shot up, and as it did so, the PR classroom wavered. I shook my head and dispelled the dream, looking around my surroundings as the dream faded.

“Come on, Jathan, wake up,” I muttered to myself.

I gradually remembered my flight from the Zone 19 Military School and my subsequent escape to Zone 29. As I looked around I saw the concrete walls and wooden crates of the cargo carriage I had escaped in.

My eyes came to rest on the sleeping figure of my companion, Smash. He was small and blue with a fin-like tail, a crest on his head and adorable orange spiky cheeks. He was a Mudkip, which was a subspecies of supernatural creatures that were regarded as dangerous by the majority of the human race. The creatures, known as "Aura Beasts", were supposed to have almost magical powers. I used to doubt this, but I now know that it is very possible. I have seen Smash shoot litres after litres of water from his mouth: way more than his body weight.

I got up and dusted myself off. Unlike Smash, I didn’t consider myself particularly special, aside from my reasonable shooting skills. I was a brown-haired, brown-eyed overweight student of middle height and average intelligence. I was wearing a frayed, sweat-soaked coat with padded shoulders. Underneath that was the Zone 19 Military School summer uniform, which consisted of gray shorts and a gray shirt. Truthfully, it also included a red tie, but I had ripped that up to make a bandage for a small cut on my upper right arm.

I crossed over to the window and looked out of it. The mountains and rock clusters of the Razers rushed past the window. The Razerlands, or Razers, were arid wastelands that were also radioactive. The only safe places known to man were the fourty-eight Zones, cities in which humankind could thrive thanks to the shielding machines known as condition generators.

I looked in the direction the bus was travelling. I could see a huge multicoloured dome, and the colours moved, merged and split in a mesmeric way.

I shook my head again, finally waking up all the way. I must have disturbed Smash, because he too woke up and shook his head. He sat up and yapped a greeting.

"Hey mate," I said, and smiled at him. "We'll be there soon."

Smash gurgled and returned to the crate of watermelons he had discovered at the beginning of our ride.

I looked at my watch. 5:34. That means we'd been travelling for almost six hours now.

I pulled my G6 pistol out from its shoulder holster and gave it a quick clean with the maintenance kit in my pack. None of the components felt rough beneath the cloth, so there was no rust or anything. Satisfied, I put it away and pulled out the G9 pistol I had liberated from a guard back in Zone 19. I ejected the magazine, and saw that it had one bullet left. Next to useless.

I reloaded the clip back into the pistol with a metallic click and stowed it into a coat pocket. I looked out the window again and noted that Zone 29 was much closer. We'd need a bail plan soon.

But before I could begin to devise one, my stomach rumbled, so I moved next to Smash and ate some watermelon with him. The cool juices running down my chin calmed me in a way I couldn't understand.

Chapter Two

The sunlight's strength lessened as we passed through the barrier into Zone 29. I saw, like Zone 19, the farmlands were on the outer edge of the Zone, with the city in the middle. Right now the bus was speeding along a white causeway with wheat fields to the left and some low-growing crop to the right. I looked ahead and saw a bridge that we were going to cross.

My mind sparked. Why would there be a bridge? In the hundreds of years people had lived in the Zones, every spare metre had been landscaped to perfection. There would be no unnecessary gorges or canyons. So why the bridge?

A small sparkle confirmed my suspicion. We would cross over a river!

"Smash, we're leaving!" I called.

Smash pulled his head out of the crate and grunted. He walked over to me and climbed up onto my shoulders.

I pulled out the G9 and flicked the safety off.

"Look away!" I called out, pointing my head away from the window.

Smash also looked away, and so I aimed the pistol at the window and pulled the trigger.

The gun emitted a loud crack and jumped slightly in my hand. The window shattered, with most of the glass falling outside of the bus. I used the butt of the pistol to smash off a few remaining triangles of glass.

The sound of the wind was astounding. The bus wasn't travelling as fast as it did out in the Razers, but its current speed was still easily double the legal civilian limit. The wind itself entered the carriage, whipping around it, moving the crates bit by bit.

I saw that the river was very wide. On the other side was the city, but the buildings were dirty and small, unlike the ones in Zone 19. I realised that the part of the city I was looking at was the slums. It seemed like the river was being used as a moat to separate the city and the farmlands.

The bus moved onto the bridge, lowering slightly as less speed was required for stability on the man-made construction. I backed up a few steps.

Then I ran at the window and dived out of it.

Luckily, the bridge was only eight metres or so above the water, so when I splashed in, I only went about halfway to the bottom.

As I began frantically paddling towards the surface of the river, I felt Smash shoot off my shoulder. I broke the surface, sending droplets of water flying. I shook my head, clearing the water from my eyes. Smash was circling me, swimming rapidly in loops and corkscrews utilizing his tail as a rudder.

I looked to the city and sighed. This was going to be a long swim.

I stumbled onto the shore about ten minutes later. I felt dead tired, and I was afraid of getting a chill because my clothes were soaking wet.

But before I could dry myself, I had to find a place to sleep.

I clucked my tongue. Smash gracefully slid out of the water and shook most of the dirt off. He yapped with happiness, obviously having enjoyed his swim.

I moved my shoulders to stop the straps of my pack from cutting into my skin, and together we walked into the city.

The Zone 29 slums were disgusting. All of the buildings were dirty, covered with stains and graffiti. Most had makeshift repairs consisting of rude wood and cardboard. The gutters were full of muck, and the red-brown colour of the muck made me suspect that a major ingredient of said muck was blood.

The citizens themselves came in two varieties: scary and scared. All of them either scurried away avoiding eye contact or loitered at street corners brandishing pieces of wood or metal pipes. I ignored everyone, as did Smash.

After walking for ten minutes, I was shivering uncontrollably. I had to get warm soon or risk hypothermia.

Smash, who was walking a bit ahead of me, yapped and sat down on the sidewalk. He had stopped in front of a large-ish building with a blue roof that was in slightly better repair than the other houses. The door was closed, and above the door was a badly damaged sign that read "P__e_a_t".

"Is there something in there?" I asked, my teeth chattering.

Smash nodded, and he pawed at the door. I tried the knob but it was locked.

I furtively looked around. I couldn't see anyone watching me, so I drew the G9 and used the butt to smash the knob off the door. I then kicked the door hard, sending it flying open. It made a loud crash, but no one objected.

I heard scurrying sounds inside the building.

"Hello? Anyone here?" I called out.

The rustling stopped.

I carefully edged inside, closing the door and bracing it with a chair so it could not be opened from the outside.

The single dusty window did not let much of the dusky light in, so I fumbled around the edge of the door before locating the light switch and flicking it on. The light snapped on and emitted a buzzing sound.

I looked around and realised that I was in a store of some kind. There was a counter opposite the doo and large cabinets around the room which held strange items. I crossed the room to get a better look. Some cabinets held strange spheres of varying designs, and others held strange-looking aerosol sprays.

I moved over to the counter. It was thick with dust, suggesting that this shop had been abandoned for at least two weeks. A notice fastened to the side of the cash register warned of the upcoming Aura Beast expulsion. I opened the register and found some small change, which I swiped.

I heard the rustling again. I looked to my left, where an open door led into a back room of some sort. I peered through the door, but the room was pitch black. I flicked the light switch on, and I was greeted by a strange trilling shriek.

Chapter Three

On the ground a catlike creature was rearing backwards, hissing at me. Its body was light brown, almost pink, and its chest and face was coloured cream. It had angular eyes and, notably, what appeared to be three separate tail-ends.

This creature had made a circular nest out of papers. It lay in the nest now, hissing and flexing the claws in its front paws. I put my hands up, palms towards it, the universal sign for "I swear I'm not going to hurt you." The creature relaxed a little.

Smash, who was now bored with the other room, waddled in to investigate this one. He saw the creature, and immediately his crest extended fully and he spread his rear legs wide apart in an unmistakably defensive posture.

The creature turned to look at Smash, and I took this opportunity to remove my PDA from one of my many inner coat pockets. Thankfully, the device still worked. Not for the first time, I was glad I had paid extra for the waterproof cover.

I looked over to Smash, who was slowly lowering his crest and inching towards the nest. The creature was watching him carefully.

I looked back at my PDA and accessed the Archives. I was glad that I had stored the Aura Beast subarchive on local memory before fleeing the Military School.

After surfing for a bit, I found a picture of a creature that looked similar to the one watching Smash move forward. It claimed the creature was a species of Aura Beast known as Skitty.

I put down my pack and opened the front-most pocket, where field rations were stored. I took out one of my five ration packs and I cracked it in half. Many sealed plastic bags fell over the floor. I found the one containing the bread and opened it before turning to the Skitty.

Smash had reached the nest, and he was sniffing the Skitty. The Skitty was holding itself carefully immobile during Smash's inspection. I slowly extended my arm towards the Skitty, holding a piece of bread in my hand.

Smash had finished with the Skitty, and so he walked away to inspect the rest of the room. The Skitty now turned to look at me, and it seemed surprised when it saw me crouching, unmoving, offering it a piece of bread.

With the grace that all feline creatures have, the Skitty moved forward, approaching my hand. It gingerly sniffed my hand, and then delicately took the piece of bread and began to eat it.

Now, I had a chance to look around the back room. It was a manager's office of some sort: there was a bookshelf filled with large binders, and an old computer sitting on a desk with other necessities like pens and staplers. There was also a back door, which had a small dog door installed at the bottom. I saw that this back door was locked but the dog door was not: obviously the owner of this store left in accordance with the expulsion but he forgot to lock the dog door and so this Skitty had moved in.

Smash walked back over to the Skitty and yapped. The Skitty looked at him and began to purr. Satisfied, Smash came over to me and begged a piece of bread off of me. I wasn't feeling hungry, so I stuffed the little bags back into my pack.

The twilight chill reminded me of my drenched clothes, so I stripped down to my underwear and wrapped myself in an XXXL-sized field towel. These towels were scratchy and uncomfortable, but they dried you out fast.

I gathered some blank pads of paper and broke the wooden chair that sat behind the cash register into manageable pieces. Using the skills I learned from Field Research, I set a small fire in the middle of the shop, away from anything the fire could spread to, considering the floor was made of stone tiles.

I arranged my clothes around the fire where they could dry. I then bunched up my pack to use as a pillow.

As I drifted off to sleep, I saw both Smash and the Skitty laying down on my already partially-dry coat.

Chapter Four

A large crash jolted me awake. I cast a quick gaze around the room, but it was the same as when I fell asleep, except it was now midnight and the fire was now just a pile of glowing embers.

Another crash sounded throughout the room. I still had no idea where the sound was coming from. On the third crash, however, I heard the wood of the chair propped under the door splinter.

In that instant, I realised what was going on. I was in the middle of a break-in.

As the chair splintered and the door opened, I quickly rolled to my right, towards my coat. I grabbed my pistol on my second roll past, and then I extended my left knee. The momentum of my roll lifted me up onto my knee in a perfect firing position, aiming at the door.

As I did this, I heard Smash start growling, and the Skitty let out a startled miaow. Out of the corner of my eye I saw it shoot into the back room. Half a second later I heard the ka-thunk ka-thunk of the dog door.

Standing in the doorway were three people and a dog. I couldn't see them clearly because the street lights made them into silhouettes. All I knew was one of the people was very overweight and another was very short.

Nonetheless, I was confident I could take them, until I realised a potentially fatal flaw in my plan. Thanks to my dip in the river, my pistol would be all damp. I would get one shot out of it before it locked up to avoid permanent damage.

I berated myself. The first rule in the book was "keep your god-damned gun clean," and I had broken it. I only hoped that these would-be thieves didn't know of my swim.

"Oi, what the hell is this then?" one of them asked.

"I 'unno," another replied.

"Let's get him."

Obviously they hadn't yet seen my gun. I flicked off the safety and chambered a round. The metallic noise echoed around the shop.

"Damn, he got a piece!" the first talker exclaimed.

I reached over to my coat to grab my flashlight. "Yeah, I do," I replied.

"Now what?" the second one asked.

"Chop!" a new voice said enthusiastically. I swallowed. That didn't sound to good.

I dug my flashlight out of my coat. I held it reversed, like we'd been taught to wield knives, and I held it over my gun, bracing the top of the gun with my hand.

I flicked the flashlight on, which gave me my first clear look at the intruders. The overweight one was wearing a tracksuit underneath a hooded jumper, and he appeared to be the leader. The person next to him was dressed similarly, except he had a baton strapped to his side and was wearing a cowboy hat instead of his jumper’s hood. I could see the way he looked at the fat one that the fatty was the leader. I was surprised to see that the short one was actually a stocky, gray-skinned Aura Beast of some kind. Lastly, the dog was black with red patches, and it was growling at me. Little flashes of fire flickered out from between his teeth as he was doing so.

My suspicions about the fatty being the leader were confirmed when the fatty shrugged.

"'e's only a kid," he sneered. "'e prolly nicked tha gun from tha pawnie's."

The other didn't look as confident, but he took a step forward anyway. I quickly moved my aim to his chest.

"You don't want to do this," I said, trying to sound as threatening as possible.

The cowboy obviously heard the reluctance in my voice, as he grinned and took another step forward.

I heard Smash growling and the fat one chuckling. I pressed a button on the side of my pistol with the torch. A small but strangely menacing little red light began dancing around on the thug's chest.

"Don't make me," I was almost pleading with him.

He looked at me, right into my eyes.

And he took another step forward.

Without hesitating, I pulled the trigger. The electric stun round lanced out of the pistol, and hit the thug in the very middle of his chest. The round sparked, attempting to electrify the thug like it was meant to. However, his thick goodie and tracksuit meant the spurs didn't reach his skin, so he wasn't stunned.

Instead, he caught on fire.

The sparks nestled in the thick wool of his jumper, igniting. Instantly, he began to scream and flail at the flames on his chest.

"Holy s**t, incen'dries!" the fat one exclaimed. He instinctively took a step back.

As all this happened, I heard an almost inaudible whirring sound. That sound was the pistol locking itself up to avoid moisture damage. It announced the fact that I was now holding a useless piece of metal.

No one else heard this though. Smash was emitting a gurgling kind of laugh, the dog was yapping at the fire, and the fat one and the humanoid were both slapping at the disintegrating hoodie.

"Smash, put him out," I laughed.

Smash gurgled, and then shot a small blast of water at the thug. It put the fire out, but it also knocked him onto his rump.

“No one shoots my friend!” the fatty exclaimed. “Houndour, fry the bitch!”

The dog reared his head, howling as he did so. Then, he swung his head down, aiming a stream of fire at me before I could react.

Luckily, Smash saw it coming. He leaped in front of me and fired a stream of water straight at the Houndour. The stream of water collided with the torrent of flame. They writhed and fought against each other, but Smash’s Water Gun dispelled the flame and cut through the rest of the Flamethrower, smashing into the Houndour and sending it flying out into the street.

I laughed, and ejected the round, which made a steely ka-chik sound.

"Now get going." I said coldly.

The dog ran away yipping. The fat thug and the short Aura Beast grabbed the burnt cowboy and hurried off after the dog.

I sighed in relief. I got up and closed the door, re-bracing it with the remains of the chair.

My clothes were mostly dry, so I slipped them back on and repacked my towel. I then sat down and disassembled my pistol, cleaning every piece thoroughly. I was glad to see there was no permanent damage.

After five minutes of cleaning, I reholstered the pistol and went over to the strange merchandise in the cabinets. I had no idea what they were, but they were obviously valuable, so I grabbed a few of the spheres and some different coloured sprays and stashed them in my pack.

Then I whistled to Smash and we left the store. I was anxious to leave before the thugs could come back with friends.

I tried to close the door, but it hung open slightly. I shrugged mentally, and quickly crossed the street into the alley opposite with Smash following. I was confident no one had seen us leaving.

I was wrong.

Chapter Five

We had wandered for a couple of hours, until signs of the morning sun began appearing over the horizon. Already the light felt warm on my skin.

In the early hours of the morning, I had found a seedy-looking second hand shop and unloaded the G9 for a couple hundred dollars. That wasn't a great price, but it was almost useless to me: not many guys opted to learn dual-wielding in Marksmanship. It was, for some strange reason, considered almost feminine. A tingle worked its way down my spine as I remembered how hot Theresa looked when she reloaded two G8s at the same time. She would twirl them and slam their grips down on the belt she had made that held the clips sticking straight up.

I licked my lips and walked on. I needed a plan. I was fairly sure that the expulsion was soon, so I had to get to the Depot and get on a bus out of here.

I pulled up a map on my PDA and it recommended a shortcut through an alley on my right.

I turned into it. After all, I'd been wandering alleys in the small hours in the morning. Nothing happened then, so nothing would happen now, I reasoned.

Wrong.

As soon as I was fifty metres in, I saw a shadow fall in front of me, which meant something was behind me.

I spun, drawing my pistol. A large, barrel-chested man in trousers and a camouflage singlet blocked my path.

This time I smiled. My pistol was fine: I could take five guys easily.

Nine more appeared, from behind trash bins and shadowed doorways. The smile left my face immediately.

I could probably still take these guys in an open area, but I didn't like my chances in this confined space.

Strangely, none of them moved to attack. They simply stood, most of them with their hands clasped behind their backs.

I was suddenly aware of a deep humming sound behind and above me. I spun to look, and then gaped at what I saw.

A huge metal Aura Beast was levitating down from the rooftops. It was blue, had a grey cross on its' face, and its four legs were folded underneath its body. I was even more amazed to see a person sitting on the beast's back. He wore a green shirt under a khaki vest and khaki trousers. The Aura Beast reached the ground, and it unfolded its legs and landed with a boom. It was clearly very heavy.

The man climbed down off the immense creature and smiled at me. Unsure of myself, I lowered my pistol but still kept it in my hand. I could whip it up and have a bullet resting on his chest inside a second.

"Hey there," the guy said.

I stayed silent.

"My name's George." he tried again.

Still nothing.

"And this is Meta," he continued, waving his hand at the monstrous beast behind him.

"Jathan," I supplied reluctantly. I nodded at Meta, who blinked as I did so.

"Well, Jathan, it's nice to meet you," he said, stepping forward.

I whipped my gun back up. Just because he was polite didn't mean I wanted him getting too close to me.

George sighed. He pulled out a black and yellow sphere similar to the spheres that sat in my pack. He pointed it at Meta, and a thin red beam of light issued towards the huge Aura Beast. When the red light struck Meta, he began glowing red as well, with the glow starting at the point of contact and spreading out from there. When he was completely engulfed in the red glow, the light retreated back into the sphere, taking Meta with it.

I gaped at the sight. The huge Meta was now somehow contained inside that little ball that was easily one hundredth its own size!

"How did you do that? Where did he go?" I asked in astonishment.

George smiled quizzically.

"Well, Meta's actually genderless-" he started, but I interrupted.

"Genderless? Then how the hell does he- it reproduce?"

Now George's smile had gone, but the quizzical look remained.

"First off, even though Meta's genderless, she likes to think of herself as female."

I nodded.

"And what do you mean, 'How does she reproduce?' What, didn't you pay attention in class?" George asked me.

"Uhh, I'm not from around here," I said apologetically.

George's eyebrows raised. "Oh really?" he asked. "Then where are you from?"

"Zone 19 Military School," I replied before I could stop myself.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a few of the other men shift around a bit. George, however, seemed pleasantly surprised.

"Zone 19? Under Giravian control?" he asked.

I nodded mutely.

George laughed. "Then what are you doing here, with a Pokemon to boot?"

I frowned as I holstered my pistol. "Pokemon?" I asked.

"That Mudkip," George indicated Smash with a nod of his head. Smash gurgled.

"He's not a Pokemon, whatever that is. He's a Mudkip, which is a kind of Aura Beast," I replied.

The men surrounding us collectively gasped. George's eyes narrowed for a second, but then his honest face reassumed that trustworthy, yet almost careless expression.

"Jathan, I wouldn't use that phrase around here," he advised.

I looked around, at the surrounding men. They were all quite big. Maybe pissing them off was a bad thing to do.

I swallowed and nodded.

George walked towards me and flung an arm around me like an older brother. Like so, he and group began walking, steering me somewhere.

"I got a lot to catch you up on," George said, and then he fell silent, his expression speculative.

Chapter Six

We walked in silence, with the group ranging out so that we weren't clustered up. We crossed streets and travelled down alleys. I was sure we were doubling back occasionally to deter followers. After half an hour, Smash issued a gurgling whine, so I picked him up and carried him like a puppy. George saw this, and he looked like he was going to say something, but he didn't.

George and I turned the corner, and took a shortcut through a park. We were leading the rest of the group when the fat would-be robber from last night strolled out from behind a tree.

“Well ‘ello there mah gunslingin’ friend,” he said, sneering. “You made a awful lotta friends real quick-like.”

I went for my pistol, but Liam stopped me.

“This is a public park,” he muttered to me. “I strongly advise you not to start pointing guns at people.”

“Fair enough,” I said.

Smash started growling at the robber.

As he did so, the rest of our group caught up with George and me.

“You want me to take care of this chump?” one of the guys asked in a deep voice.

“Nah,” George replied, looking at me speculatively. “I haven’t had any exercise in ages. I’ll do it.”

“Hoi, youse over there!” the robber called out. “Ah got a problem with yer littl’ friend, not youse!”

“That may be,” George called back, “but seven hundred dollars says I can beat you in a Pokemon battle.”

Even from fifty metres away, I could almost see the glint of greed in his eyes.

“Yer on,” he said. “Ah’ll d’stroy yeh then move ahn teh the shrimp.”

“What, a full six-on-six?” George asked.

“I only have three… on me,” he called back.

“Well, then a three-vee-three,” George said.

The robber reached into the hand-warmer of his hoodie, and pulled out one of the capsules that George had used.

“Go, Staravia!” he yelled.

The capsule opened, and red light flashed. When my eyes cleared, there was a white and black bird standing on the ground in front of him.

Liam pulled one out himself, summoning a large, blue, anthropomorphic crocodile.

“This is Fang, my Feraligatr,” Liam introduced me.

The huge blue crocodile turned his head, regarded me with one eye, then turned back to look at the Staravia.

I gulped. This Aura Beast was even scarier than Meta.

“Staravia, use Double Team! Let’s fly circles round ‘is beastie!” the robber called.

The bird flew into the air, blurring as it did so. Suddenly, the blur split up into five separate, independently moving copies!

My jaw dropped. George, however, was smiling.

“Fang, use Ancientpower,” he commanded.

Fang balled his fists and threw his head back, roaring. Five big chunks of rock lifted up from the ground, and hurtled towards the Staravia copies. Four of the rocks phased through the birds they were aimed at, and they all fell to the ground with a large thud. One, however, smashed into the real Staravia, sending it spinning to the ground.

“Get up and use Quick Attack!” the robber screamed.

The Staravia fluttered back into the air, and then sped towards Fang so fast I couldn’t see it clearly.

“Water Gun!” George called.

Fang shot a stream of water towards the speeding bird, but Staravia jinked around it and smashed into Fang’s face.

“Ha! That’ll teach ‘im!” the robber laughed. “Quick Attack again!”

The bird blurred again, and it began twisting towards Fang.

“Ice Fang,” George said.

Then he smiled, and added: “Just for fun, actually hit it this time.”

I frowned. No way Fang could hit that speedy little bird.

Fang opened his mouth wide, and a cloud of blue fog gathered around his mouth.

The Staravia sped towards him, and just like before, it smashed Fang in the face. But this time, Fang was ready. He closed his jaws, with a bone-crushing smash.

The Staravia trilled in pain. Fang opened his jaws, letting the blue fog dissipate. The Staravia fluttered in circles away from Fang, simply trying to escape.

“I think he’s out,” George called out jovially.

The robber swore at George, and returned the Staravia to the capsule like I had seen George return Meta to earlier. He then pulled out a different one and released a small, yellow, mouse-like Aura Beast.

“Pikachu, use Shock Wave!” the robber called.

It screwed up its’ face, and from its jagged tail a blue circle of energy crackled out in all directions, cooking grass as it did so.

“Fang, hit it with a Hyper Beam!” George called.

Fang roared, and shot a multicoloured beam of light at the small mouse.

“Dodge it and use Thunder!” the robber yelled.

The Pikachu jinked to the right, narrowly avoiding the Hyper Beam. The Hyper Beam hit the ground where the Pikachu was a moment ago. The ground exploded, and a plume of steam wafted into the air.

I noticed that Fang had dropped to one knee, and was panting heavily. I looked over to the Pikachu. It was surrounded by a nimbus of yellow sparks. It squealed as it coalesced the sparks into the form of a lightning bolt, and the newly-created bolt shot up into the sky.

Still Fang kneeled, motionless.

“Aren’t you going to do anything?” I asked George.

“There’s nothing I can do,” he replied. “Fang can’t move until he gets his breath back, and he refuses to leave battle.”

“Just return him to the ball-thingy!” I yelled.

George shook his head. “He won’t go,” he said quietly.

The yellow thunderbolt tore down from the sky, smashing straight into Fang. He was forced into the ground, and little yellow flickers of electricity continued to dance around his body.

“He’s done,” George said, returning Fang.

“Ha!” the robber laughed. “Now bring out yer next beastie, so I can win mah money!”

George pulled out a different ball, and the flash of red light revealed the huge blue form of Meta.

“Wow, that’s a big ‘un,” the robber growled, “but we can take it down! Pikachu, Thunderbolt!”

“Meta, Bullet Punch,” George commanded.

Meta blurred away, just like the Staravia had earlier. She zigzagged towards the Pikachu, who was launching lots of yellow sparks at her.

Suddenly, Meta increased her speed, blurring out of sight. Just as quickly, the Pikachu was launched into the air, where it smashed into a tree. It had hit the tree so hard that it couldn’t even extract itself.

Meta blurred back in front of George, and she roared her victory. The roar was very low in pitch, so low that I almost couldn’t hear it.

The robber grumbled, and returned the Pikachu, before pulling out his last capsule, summoning the red and black dog from last night.

“Ha! Mah preshis Houndour will melt yah metal freak!” the robber yelled. “Use Flamethrower!”

“Meta, counter with Protect,” George commanded.

The Houndour ran towards Meta, breathing fire as it did so. But Meta folded her legs underneath her, and began glowing a bright white. The flames writhed against the white shield, but couldn’t pass through.

“Now, Metal Claw,” George called.

“Another Flamethrower!” the robber yelled.

Houndour breathed another torrent of flame at Meta. The fire impacted against Meta’s right side, but she carried on nonetheless. Her front legs glowed silver, and she punched the Houndour with both glowing fists.

Instead of being knocked away, like I expected, the Houndour took the blow, and breathed another stream of fire straight at Meta. Meta moaned in her deep voice, and pounded the Houndour with another double punch. This time, the Houndour was forced backwards, but it stayed on its’ feet.

“Zen Headbutt,” George called.

“Use Smog to ‘ide!” the robber called.

Meta charged towards the Houndour. Her head took on a strange, swirling nimbus of purple energy. As she moved forward, however, the Houndour breathed a purple mist which billowed outwards, hiding it from sight.

“Use Bullet Punch to clear the smog!” George called.

“Spray the beast with Ember!” the robber yelled.

Meta began swirling around the purple mist at high speed, dispelling it, as the Houndour sprayed small flecks of fire all around. Some landed on Meta, but she ignored them.

“Now, finish this with Meteor Mash,” George commanded.

“You ‘erd ‘im! Finish with Fire Blast!” the robber yelled.

The Houndour reared its head as Meta charged forwards. The Houndour fired a torrent of fire unlike anything I’d ever seen before at Meta, but Meta flew high over it. The fire boiled past Meta, and smashed into a tree.

“Smash, put that out,” I said.

Smash yapped and ran off. I looked back to the battle.

Meta was now right next to Houndour. It reared its fist, and punched Houndour viciously. The dog went flying, and it crashed into the ground a good twenty metres away.

“There,” George said matter-of-factly. He returned Meta to her capsule.

“What now?” I asked.

“I wouldn’t worry about this fool,” George replied. “The last Pokemon Centre closed up a few days ago. He can’t cause any more trouble with his Pokemon in the state they are in.”

“So, what, they’ll be wounded forever?” I asked.

“Well, they will heal slowly, but not at all if he uses them to commit more crimes.”

“That’s not good enough,” I said, stamping my feet. “These Aura Beasts didn’t do anything wrong. They just obeyed that fag.”

Liam scratched his chin thoughtfully.

“Hey, you still want that money?” George called out.

The robber was slumped over on the ground. When he heard George’s question, his head shot up.

“I’ll buy your Pokemon off you,” George offered.

“Cert’n’ly,” the robber agreed.

I felt rather sad that this person would trade his subordinates for money so quickly, but said nothing as George swapped the wad of cash for the three PokeBalls.

“There, are you happy now?” George asked.

I said nothing.

We continued on our way, walking past the robber who was gleefully counting the money George had given him.

Chapter Seven/B]

After about fourty-five minutes of walking, we had left the slums and we were walking in the rolling hills of a moderately-wealthy family's estate. I was just about to ask where we were going when we crested a hill.

Right in what was possibly the lowest part of the estate was an encampment. There were tents and mesh cages and a wooden palisade fence around the camp itself. Right in the middle of the camp was a squat, featureless building which I assumed to be the headquarters of this... "field operation".

I mentally chuckled at the pun.

We walked together now, and as we reached the wooden gate, it appeared to open by itself. When we walked inside, I saw a yellow humanoid Aura Beast with a large moustache glowing blue and holding his hands out. As he pulled his hands towards his chest, the gates closed, seemingly by themselves.

I gasped. Telekinesis!

As we walked towards the building I witnessed many other wonders, but the group kept moving, preventing me from staying and watching. I saw herds of sheep that emitted yellow and blue sparks. I saw little red lizards that scampered around, frying and eating small bugs with their fiery breath. I saw little brown bugs half covered in dirt with large, snapping jaws. I even saw a bird six times as big as me that appeared to be made out of rock.

We reached a small door in the main building, and George opened the door and motioned for me to go inside. I went, and he followed me, but none of the others did.

George led me down a staircase and through a green door. In the room beyond was a table and two chairs, with a jug of water and two glasses on the table.

George sat in one of the chairs and waved his right hand at the one opposite him.

I laid Smash gently on the ground. He tipped quietly and curled up to take a nap.

I then sat on the chair opposite George and raised my eyebrows, as if to ask "Now what?"

George chuckled, and poured water into both of the classes. He took a long drink out of his, and then placed it on the table in front of him before folding his hands on the back of his head.

"I think we can be useful to each other," George said, leaning back on his chair.

I sipped the water. It was cool and clear and tasted just like the purified stuff back in the Military School.

"How so?" I asked.

George grinned. "By now you've probably realised that we're not exactly buddy-buddy with Giravia."

I snorted. According to Administration policy, everyone who came within five kilometres of this place would be liquefied in Quadro Acid.

"You've probably heard about the expulsion," he continued. I nodded.

"The actual date is three days from now. All we want to do is rescue as many Pokemon from this zone as possible."

"I'm still not too clear on what a Pokemon is," I said.

George sighed. "Think of it like this," he offered. "The 'correct' word for a person who is not too smart is 'unintelligent', but an offensive version of that is 'stupid'. What you call 'Aura Beasts' are actually Pokemon."

“But then why would the Giravian Government rename Pokemon to Aura Beasts?” I asked, confused.

George sighed.

“We’re not actually sure,” he said. “The most likely reason is that in order to exterminate Pokemon without a public uproar, they had to give Pokemon a less appealing name.”

“Well then why do you call Aura Beasts Pokemon? How do I know that’s what they’re actually called?” I retaliated.

George looked at me sternly. “Well, my father called them that, and his father called them that, and his father called them that. Do you see where I’m going with this?”

I raised my hands in mock surrender. Besides, antagonising these guys probably wasn’t a good idea, so I decided to just go with the flow.

"So, you're trying to get as many Pokemon out from this Zone as possible before the Giravian Aura Detection squads get here?" I asked.

George smiled. "See, this is why we should work together," he grinned. "You have valuable information about Giravia, and we can teach you about Pokemon."

I considered it. All I wanted was a place to stay. George was offering that, plus valuable knowledge, for the low price of what I knew about Giravia. I didn't yet know what I wanted to do long-term, but considering I'd be sharing with them what I knew I doubted they'd keep me locked up like a prisoner.

"Deal," I said. George grinned and shook my hand.

I ejected the external memory chip of my PDA and I handed it over to George.

"Here," I said as George took it and slotted it into his own PDA. "This holds all my notes and lesson handouts."

George was obviously already deeply immersed in my notes. "Go hook into the wireless network," he said distractedly.

I got up and moved to go. As I did so, George called out, "Hey, go two levels down. Tell them I sent you."

I nodded without looking at him. I opened the door and walked out with Smash right behind me.

Chapter Eight

I slowly walked down the stairs. They were simple concrete, with no handrail. Smash was having a great time jumping down each step.

I was too busy thinking to have a good time. What happens when they're finished with my information? I asked myself. Best case, they let us stay here, but I'm not sure I want to. Worst case, they kill us to keep us quiet.

I reached the third floor down. I opened the door was greeted by the sight of a skinny man wearing a jumper and tracksuit pants who was sitting at a computer on a dodgy-looking desk.

"Uh, hi. George sent me down," I said cautiously.

The man looked at me, then reached underneath his desk and passed me a plastic bag. A key and a map were in the bag, along with other sundry items.

"Room 10," he told me before refocusing his attention back on the screen.

I walked past the guy, down the corridor to a room marked "10". I slotted the key into the lock and turned it. It was an old-style ratchet and pins key, not a magnetic data-based key like was common these days.

The door swung open, revealing a small but clean room. The walls were covered with a cream-coloured paper and there was a window that opened onto what appeared to be an underground basketball court. The room itself was lightly but tastefully furnished. The bed and cupboards and desk were all made in the same woodworking style: full curves, going with the grain. There was a light on the table, which was on. I also saw a door which I assumed led to an ensuite.

Smash moved to the other side of the bed. He squealed with delight. I moved over, and saw there was a lower, nest-like bed obviously intended for an Aura B- a Pokemon.

As I mentally revised my thought, I was reminded of George's promise. I dumped my pack and turned on my PDA: I saw through the wireless network that I had been granted access to two local subarchives, Pokemon List and Basic Pokemon training.

I fell onto the bed, opening the Training archive. I stayed up late, devouring all the new information.

Chapter Nine
Thirty-Five Hours Later

I woke up slowly. My dreams had been haunted by all the new Pokemon species I had learned about in the last day and a half.

I had spent the entire time since I arrived in the room, reading and re-reading the two subarchives. Food was delivered to my door three times a day by what I could swear were ninjas - I never heard them, but at meal times I'd open my door and find a tray of food on the floor.

Smash had ventured out yesterday, staying out of the room for most of the day. I assumed he was out meeting and playing with other Pokemon, because he was both happy and tired when he returned just after dinner.

I rolled over and saw that Smash was still sleeping in his bed. I groaned, and threw the covers off my bed. As was my custom, I had slept in a thin shirt and boxers. I crossed over to my door, and opened it. As always, there was a tray of food waiting for me. I licked my lips. Today's breakfast was a steaming hot bowl of porridge, with several slices of toast and a breakfast sausage. There was also a bowl of warm Pokemon kibble.

I picked up the tray and closed the door with my foot. I carried the tray over to the table. As I sat down to eat, I heard a stomach grumble, and I knew it wasn't mine. I looked over to Smash's bed, and I saw him wake up and stretch. His nose twitched as he smelt the food, and he bounded over to me.

I laughed, and patted his head. As he hummed appreciation, I picked up the bowl of kibble and put it on the ground along with the breakfast sausage. Smash saw this, and looked up at me questioningly. I winked at him and returned to my own meal. As I ate, I could hear Smash scoffing down his own food.

After I had finished my food, I crossed over to my pack. I hadn't bothered to unpack - I wanted to be able to leave at a moment's notice.

I reached into the pack, and I pulled out of the spheres I had liberated from the store. It was red on the top and white on the bottom, with a little button on the sphere's widest part. I looked at it, and then at Smash, who was still eating.

I cleared my throat. Smash looked up from his bowl, and he walked over to me. I rubbed his crest, and showed him the PokeBall. He sniffed it.

"Smash, you're a legend," I said. My voice cracked a little: I felt like this was a very emotional moment.

"I see you as a true friend, and I would be honoured if you chose to stay with me," I continued. I placed the PokeBall on the ground inbetween us.

Smash looked at me, and at the Ball. He walked over to it, and, after hesitating for a second, he pressed his forehead firmly against the red top of the Ball.

As if by magic, the PokeBall rose in the air, opening itself. I saw that the ball was hollow and inside was an arrangement of what appeared to be some sort of reflective panels.

Smash began glowing red, and just like Meta, when the glow encompassed his entire being, his form faded into red light and the light flew into the Ball.

The Ball snapped shut, and it fell to the ground. It quivered, and the button glowed red. I smiled. I knew this indicated a successful capture.

I picked up the PokeBall, and as I did so, it shrunk to about the size of a small apple. I smothered my surprise, and I placed the Ball gently on the bed. I then proceeded to get dressed, looking at the Ball frequently in wonder.

After getting dressed and taking a huge dump, my PDA buzzed. George had sent me a message, asking me to meet him in the same room as before.

I put on my coat - this underground complex got very cold - and I holstered my pistol. Ever since I left the Military School I had resolved to keep my pistol within reach at all times. Residing in this place hadn't changed that.

Lastly, I picked up Smash's PokeBall. It laid unmoving in my hand. Shaking my head, I stowed it in a sleeve pocket, and I left the room.

After climbing up the staircase, I found myself in front of the door that opened into the room I had talked with George previously. As I climbed, I heard shouting and heavy machinery.

I cleared my throat, and knocked on the door.

"Come on in!" George called out.

I opened the door, and I saw George seated in the same chair as before. I nodded a greeting, and silently sat in the chair opposite him.

George craned his head around the table, obviously looking for something.

"Where's Smash?" he asked me.

I pulled out the PokeBall and grinned.

George laughed and grinned back.

"I take it you've read through the archives," he said.

"Yeah," I nodded.

"Well, it seems you're a quick learner," he continued. "That reinforces my decision."

He scribbled a quick note on the paper pad.

"What decision?" I asked.

He reached into his pocket, and pulled out my data crystal. He then placed it on the table between us.

"You know of the expulsion," he said. I nodded confirmation, even though it wasn't a question.

"Did you know it starts tomorrow?" he asked me directly.

"No," I shook my head.

"Well, we weren't worried about staying here," George said. He indicated my crystal with his hand. I took it and slotted it back into my PDA.

"Ever since we read through the files on there, we're not so sure," George continued. "We've got very good Aura Dampeners, but apparently the Giravians have new sensors that will be able to penetrate our Dampeners. Personally, I have no doubt they already know where we are, and are just waiting for midnight to attack."

"If they know that we're here, why don't they attack now?" I asked.

"Even though this Zone is essentially assimilating into Giravia, it still has the troops to secede if the Council changes its mind," George explained. "That means that Giravia has to follow the law to the letter. Otherwise, Zone 29 may revolt."

Slowly, I realised what this meant. "We've got to get out!" I exclaimed, rising from my chair.

George raised his hand. "I've got a plan," he said confidently.

I sat back down into my chair.

"As you said, we've got to leave here," George continued. "However, no bus would be big enough to take us. Not unless we strung so many carriages behind the engine that the whole bus could only move at walking speed."

I nodded.

"Well, today Zone 29 is scheduled to transport a huge load of vegetables and other farm-grown produce to Zone 43. Produce buses are over four times the size of travel buses," George added.

I began to see his plan.

"In four hours, a strike team is going to the Produce Depot, and liberating that produce freighter," George said. "We need as many good fighters as we can get, and I'd like to put you with them."

"How do you know I'm a good fighter?" I asked him, suspicious.

"One of my men saw you run those thugs out of that PokeMart," he smiled.

I thought about it, and I knew that I should take the safe path and refuse. However, I felt that this was the right thing to do.

"I'm in," I said.

George exhaled noisily. "Great," he said thankfully. "But there is a catch," he continued. "We need to test you and see what you are capable of."

"Lead the way," I said, standing from my chair as I did so.

George rose as well, and he left the room, beckoning for me to follow.

Chapter Ten

George led me into the staircase. We walked down it, exiting one floor lower than my room. This floor was a corridor that was almost identical to the one above it.

George turned left, and led me to a door on the right side about halfway down. I followed him inside.

This room was thin but long, parallel to the corridor. Near us were some wooden firing braces, and I could see targets of varying size and distance down the length of the room.

I grinned. Shooting range. I was totally in my element now.

George led me over to a barrel-chested man wearing a camo singlet and khaki shorts.

"Liam, this is Jathan," George introduced me.

Liam looked me over and snorted. "So this is our famous student escapee?"

George nodded.

"Pfft," George replied. He held out a rifle with telescopic sights. An older model, one I didn't recognize.

"No way fatty here will be able to hit anything, even with the auto-aim sights," Liam snorted.

I snatched the rifle, and ejected the clip as I walked over to the firing stands. Luckily for me, it was a 9mm clip, same as my G6.

I drew my pistol from it's holster over my shoulder and ejected the clip, which was filled with stun rounds. I put that clip in my trouser pocket, and loaded the live clip.

Liam laughed. "The kid can't even hold the rifle, so he's going to embarrass himself using his home-made pistol," he chuckled.

Ignoring him, I entered my firing stance. My head moved down, my arms bent slightly and I lowered my centre of gravity.

I heard someone behind me pull a lever, and all the targets disappeared, into the walls, the floor, or the ceiling.

"Five targets, fatty!" Liam called. I barely heard him, I was in a state of Flow, ready to accept input and return output.

A target popped up from the middle of floor about halfway down. Before it could fully extend, I pulled the trigger. I didn't feel any recoil as the bullet hit the target, as I knew it would. In a state of Flow, you aren't fully conscious. You search for and accept input through various means, usually using your eyes, and you responded almost immediately with what you perceive to be the best course of action.

No one passed Beginner's Marksmanship without demonstrating the ability to enter Flow. There were only eight in the Intermediate Marksmanship class that year including me.

The second target popped out from the right wall, close to the firing stands. Again, I shot it before it could fully extend.

I loved shooting. I was the first student in my year level I knew who had achieved Flow. I loved the way there was no decision making or worrying about wrong choices: there was only information, and action based on said information. No uncertainty.

I nailed the last three targets the same way I had shot the first two: I waited with slightly unfocused eyes until something in my field of vision moved. I would then focus on it while raising my pistol to head height. Aiming through the scope, I would compensate for longer distances by aiming slightly higher. I didn't enable the laser sight: it wasn't needed if I was using the scope, which I usually did.

As the last shattered target retreated into the ceiling, I ejected the clip and turned, shoving it into Liam's chest. I sneaked a look at his face: he was gazing slackjawed at the splinters all over the course.

"What next, George?" I asked, deliberately ignoring Liam.

Geode shook his head ruefully. "Just one more thing," he replied.

We left through a door opposite the one we had entered through. Liam was still staring down the course.

When we entered the room, it felt familiar. I soon realised why: we were standing in the basketball court I had seen through my window!

"What, am I meant to score some hoops?" I asked insultingly.

"Nope," Liam replied. He pointed to the far end of the court. There was a tall man down there. I couldn't see him because there was a floodlight installed just behind him.

"You're gunna be fighting him," Liam said.

I took a step back.

"Hey, no way," I protested. "Hand-to-hand combat isn't one of my strong suits."

"Good to know," George replied. "But you won't be doing any fighting. Your Mudkip will be."

It dawned on me. The second test was a Pokemon battle!

Chapter Eleven

I pulled out Smash's PokeBall, and I threw it towards the centre of the court. With a snap, the Ball split open, spilling red light everywhere, lighting up the dark court.

The red light coalesced into the form of Smash as the PokeBall flew back towards my hand. I caught it, and I stowed it in my pocket.

Smash had fully formed, and he ran back to greet me, grunting and gurgling as he did so. I knelt down to lift him up, but he jumped, hitting me in the chest and knocking me over. I laughed as he licked me thoroughly.

"Was it okay in there?" I asked him. He gurgled happily and rubbed his crest against my head. I scratched his neck, realizing that our mystery opponent had already sent out a Pokemon.

It looked like a small bush. It was probably bluey-green, but the darkness bleached it of any colour.

I couldn't remember any bush-like Pokemon, but odds were it was a Grass type. That didn't bode well for Smash: he was a Water type, and so he was at a disadvantage.

"Smash, we've got a fight to win," I said, gently pushing him away.

He yapped, and ran back onto the field. As he did so, Dark Man (or so I named him) shifted slightly.

"Open with Ancientpower, Grotsch," he commanded. His voice was deep and gravelly, and he boomed his vowels.

Grotsch began shaking itself wildly. Pieces of rock detached from the ceiling and walls and flew at Smash, rotating wildly as they hurtled towards him.

I desperately cast my mind back to the previous day, trying to remember the moves that Mudkip knew.

"Smash! Uh... use Water Gun!" I called.

Smash started shooting small jets of water at the rocks. He shot most of them down, and he jinked to the left to avoid the rest.

"Get a little closer and use Water Gun on Grotsch!" I called.

Smash ran towards the small, bush-like Pokemon. Suddenly, I remembered what it was: a Tangela.

Smash shot a stream of water at the Tangela, but the frothing stream didn't even knock it over.

"Use Wrap," Dark Man boomed.

Suddenly, some of the squiggly vines that made up its body uncoiled, and they shot towards Smash, coiling around him. The vines began pulling him towards the Tangela.

"Quick, Smash, use Mud Slap!" I called.

Smash turned around, struggling to do so. When his tail was pointing at the Tangela, he smashed it down on the ground, sending dirt flying at the Tangela. The dirt covered the Tangela, but the vines continued dragging Smash.

"Constrict," Dark Man called.

The vines started squeezing Smash as they dragged him inexorably towards the Tangela. Smash let out a pitiful cry, and Dark Man laughed.

I saw red.

"Another Mud Slap!" I yelled.

But it did no good. The dust wafted over Grotsch, doing little besides obscuring its vision. And it didn't need to see, it had Smash in its grasp.

"Vine Whip," Dark Man called.

A new vine extracted itself from Grotsch's body. It whipped towards Smash, striking him across the back.

The crack echoed through the room, intermingled with Smash's cry. Smash instinctively tried to move away from the point of contact, slipping over as he did so.

Without Smash struggling against them, the vines gripping him pulled him twice as fast.

"Smash, get up!" I called desperately. I could clearly hear Dark Man's chuckle.

Smash struggled against the vines, but could not free himself.

"Grotsch, Poisonpowder," Dark Man boomed.

Grotsch shook it's body, emitting thousands of little spores so fine they looked like a cloud of gas. The vines pulled Smash right into the cloud, and they raised him off the ground so that Smash was looking straight at Tangela. Smash began to cough. He had obviously breathed in some of the spores.

I swore. Now I had to win, and quickly. I mentally reviewed Mudkip's movepool, and I realised Mudkip had access to a move perfect for this situation.

"Smash, you need to free yourself!" I yelled out. "Use Hydro Pump!"

Smash's stomach distended. He opened his mouth wide, and a massive lance of water shot out of his mouth and hit the Tangela. It was blasted backwards. Luckily, it automatically released Smash as it flew backwards about twenty metres, its vines flailing along behind it.

"Smash, get closer!" I yelled. Smash began running towards the Tangela.

"Get up and use Power Whip," Dark Man boomed.

The Tangela struggled to its feet, and it launched four massive vines towards Smash.

"Smash, dodge them!" I screamed.

He did one better. He jumped to the left, dodging the first one as it struck. Then, when the second struck the ground in front of him, he leaped onto it, running towards the Tangela on its own vine. He ducked his head as the third vine narrowly passed over his head, and he jumped high into the air to dodge the last vine, which plunged down and smashed into the first vine. The Tangela squealed in pain.

"Grotsch, another Power Whip!" Dark Man called.

"Protect yourself!" I yelled back.

Smash curled up as he flew through the air. The Tangela launched another four massive vines even as it retreated the last four. All four new vines smashed into Mudkip at once. Dark Man began to laugh, but he stopped when he saw Smash hurtle out from the cluster of vines untouched.

"Use Hydro Pump when you hit the ground! Knock it back again!" I called.

"Ingrain yourself!" Dark Man yelled. I noted that some strain had crept into his voice.

Smash's stomach distended again, and when he hit the ground, he launched massive Torrent of water straight at Grotsch, easily a hundred times his body weight. The water smashed into Grotsch, knocking him over but not sending him flying. Some of the vines around the front of its head were forced backwards by the water, but Grotsch himself resisted the blow. I didn't know why until the water cleared and I saw lots of little vines stuck into the ground, supporting Tangela.

"Close the gap, Smash! Then use Endeavour!" I called.

"Get up and use Sleep Powder!" Dark Man yelled. He sounded like he was panicking.

Smash ran towards the Tangela. He reached it before it could stand up. Smash picked it up by what looked like the scruff of its neck.

And he punched it in the face. Viciously.

Chapter Twelve

It spiraled away, all of its little ingrained vines losing their grip. It landed on the ground in front of its Trainer, and it didn't move.

"Yes!" I yelled. "Great job, Smash!"

Smash gurgled his victory. Then he coughed, and collapsed.

I stared on in shock. Of course! The poison!

I quickly whipped the PokeBall up and pointed it at Smash. The laser shined out, converted Smash into that red light, and returned into the ball with him.

George stepped forward and took the PokeBall. I had forgotten he was there.

"I'll take this up to the Centre and heal him," George offered.

I nodded. "So do I get to go help?" I asked.

George laughed. "I'd be a fool to stop you," he said.

He put his arm around my shoulders and he guided me out of the arena. I didn't see Dark Man return his Tangela or leave the arena silently.

George took me up to my room.

"I'll send someone up with this," he said, waving the PokeBall. "Get everything you want out of your pack: someone will get it after you leave and store it with the other belongings."

He then bade me farewell and left.

I sat down and opened my pack.

I packed into it all the stuff I took from the store, as well as my stun rounds. I took out my knife and strapped it to my belt. Lastly, using my field repair kit, I sowed a little pocket on the outside of my left sleeve where I could easily store Smash's PokeBall and retrieve it quickly when necessary.

I double-checked that I had everything I needed, and that I had packed everything I didn't.

I then laid down on the bed and I took a nap.

To be continued...

(Writer note: Machop and Houndour are the Pokemon that the would-be thieves used at the beginning of the story, if you don't know where they are.)

 

Re: Finding Refuge Part One - (J.E.2) [Ready for Grading]

claimed...

 

Re: Finding Refuge Part One - (J.E.2) [Ready for Grading]

Sorry this took so long; my flash drive with all my potential stories and graded stories was destroyed so I had to start all over again

Intro:
The Hook:
Strong Hook: taking the reader from a moment of the ordinary and then waking them up to the reality of the situation which can be deemed as interesting.

The Character:
Good way of comparing yourself to the Aura Beast. The one thing that bothered me is this: I read your last story and your comment of "I was not special in any way" contradicts both the last story and this story. More specifically, you mention that Jathan was "first person [...] to achieve Flow" in this story and in the last story that he was the best marksmen, that is something special within the viewpoint of others in your story.

Also, besides mentioning Jathan's name before the story, it takes the reader about 21K characters before they find out your character's name. You should write as if you can't include the beginning comments and as if the reader hasn't read the first story. You provide enough back story in this piece for a person to understand what is going on, except his name, but don't worry, I won't take off for it.

Plot:
I quite enjoy the idea of the "Aura Beasts" and the government not understanding motif going on. After reading your last story, I wasn't sure if you were going to stick with the "Aura Beast" name or not.

Some Plot points confused me/should be addressed:
How powerful are pistols against Pokemon? They seem like they would do a lot, since the robbers, who have two Pokemon, would run away from a guy with a pistol and one Pokemon.

Is this story being told as a story? I ask because of this part:

How would your character know this? It seems like something a narrator would know. Usually the "I was wrong" in a story would be immediately followed by the bad thing, like he runs into someone right away to affirm his suspcisions. He wanders around "for a couple of hours, until signs of the morning sun began appearing over the horizon" and "I'd been wandering alleys in the small hours in the morning" before something interacts with him, and we don't know until much later in the story that a scout was sent to watch him.

This seems contradictory. How can someone teach how to achieve without Flow? It seems not likely that there would be a class to enter Flow without a teacher who knows the same thing. Also, if no one can pass Beginner's Marksmanship without going into Flow, how can there be additional Marksmanship classes? Stating that it is a Beginner's class means there are Intermediate and Expert type classes on the subject. So, your character would have known the teacher, who achieved Flow, and known about the other students who have passed the class.


See your "Wrong" Comment. Your character knows right then and there that something is wrong and it is explained right away that "I saw a shadow fall in front of me, which meant something was behind me."


Another is that you don't actually explain why George's group refers to the "Aura Beasts" as Pokemon. A little more history about that could have been placed in Chapter Eight when he looks through the archives. Without it, it seems that they just call it Pokemon because of meta-knowledge, i.e. because we call them Pokemon. If they were called Pokemon before, that means that the world could capture these creatures, since the term "Pokemon" only came about since they could catch them in devices that could fit in you Pocket. And if that is true, then why doesn't the Government know about this. With all of this, it seems like "Aura Beasts" was the first term and "Pokemon" is a term that George's group made up.

Length:

When I said this, I was misleading and chose the wrong phrasing. I'm grading you for all three Pokemon, but I feel that only the Hard Pokemon has enough plot relevance and impact on the story to be caught.

Again, Houndour and Machop do not add anything to the story. The burglers could have been just a band of humans and the story wouldn't have changed.

Grammar:
On the whole, the grammar was good. Here are most of the mistakes you did make.

"supposed"

This passage brings up "titles." If "fourty-eight Zones" is a title, then the "f" should be capitalized. If is just a description, then "Z" should be lowercase. However, "condition generators" doesn't have the same gray area. Since your character is referring to the name of the machines, he is referring to the title, so the "c" and the "g" should be capitalized.

Also, this passage brings up the great "forty/fourty" debate. I'm American, but I understand most of the differences between American-English, Canadian-English, and British-English, and when I don't, I got to the internet for help! So far, I haven't found a definitive website stating "fourty" was correct anywhere. So far its just been forums arguing with each other. When I consulted my British friends, they are also in debate between the two. I tend to lean on "forty" for the phonetic reasoning that is also used on "fifty" (instead of fivety), and not because of the "or" "our" differences. Either way, I just wanted to bring it to you attention, and am not going to, at anytime in the immediate future, going to take points off for "fourty."

The comma shouldn't be there, as when read, will cause a break in the idea; however, "in the direction" is pivotal to where he is looking forward to.

A list of action verbs usually should be: moved, merged, and split.

When addressing someone, a comma should appear between the message and the person's name. So it should be: "Hey, mate." Also, you can't smile a sentence. If your character isn't doing a speaking type actions (scream, told, etc.), the dialogue should be closed off: "Hey, mate." I smiled.

Smash is the subject of both verbs, so a comma isn't needed.

Again, one subject, a comma isn't needed.

This one does need a comma.

Only two items, "counter" and "cabinets," so no comma.

Dangling participle. Through some logic, we can discern that your character doesn't have tail, but still the first participle could be referring to "me" or "Smash."

Treat "but" like "and," and you'll see the problem. "The creature" is the subject of both verbs.

The bolded is a fragment. The reason is because "until" starts a participle, which in this case is "I realised a potentially fatal flaw in my plan." You should connect the fragment to the previous sentence.

Punctuation always occurs within the quote. It should be clean,"

"Dual wield" is two words.

it is = it's, possession of it = its. BTW lol

Through

You can try dialogue. It should be: "My name's George." He tried again.

Military

Occasionally

Together

Repeated word and "was" should be "were," since "a key and a map" is the subject, i.e. "a key and map were in the bag."

Conscious

Since you are not referring to the move "Ingrain" but instead its effects, it shouldn't be capitalized.

Details
You detailed everything fairly well. The battle could have a little more description of how the moves effected the battlers.

While this is a good start, more detail would be describing how the Tangela's body was reacting. This the vines absorb some of the blow, drenching the Pokemon? Stuff like that can really add to a story.

There were some details that gave me some trouble:

The stability didn't really come into play, so it is excess information. You can have a lot of detail, but details like this seem like they are important when they’re aren't.

Skitty only has one tail.

Be careful with words like this. Many potential readers of this would be most likely related the word "mana" to magic and be confused.

Personal Feelings:
I still think it was a great story in terms of a good read. Though, the whole Pokemon name convention was odd, as mentioned in the plot section.


Conclusion

1. To clarify my statement on why they weren't important:
Machop and Houndour were two Pokemon that seemed thrown into the story. They didn't serve much of a plot point besides being the Pokemon that some thieves had with them at the time.
2. Their portion of the story was short. By my count, chapter 4 has 5661 characters with spaces, which is around the amount of characters needed for a simple Pokemon, not a simple and medium Pokemon.
3. Even within their portion of the story, they were little involved with the events.

Now, Houndour and Machop didn't have to participate in the battle to be deemed important to the story. However, their part seemed more like a cameo than a guest appearance. They seemed too much in the background of this story. You need to give them a slightly bigger part in the story to be captured in your stats.

See how the Tangela was a feature in your story. It was used to determine whether your character was worthy enough to go on the mission. While the part with the thieves was significant in the fact that George's man was watching them flee, the man didn't even know what happened in the building itself, which is why i suspect that there was a trial. Because the man didn't get a good look on your character's actual fight.

Granted, Tangela could be replaced by another Pokemon as well, but it's portion of the story was still a climactic point and had the main character thinking strategy and reading the environment, and just being more involved.



Verdict:

Spoiler

Machop:No Capture
Houndour:No Capture
Tangela:

Spoiler

Here is your prize:

I still would like to read what happens next.

I understand that there are other ways to capture Pokemon besides a battle, but I feel like this wasn't one of them. Even if the Pokemon don't battle, they need a bigger part in the story besides running away. Your character could befriend them, save their owners and them from the Expulsion, even sacrifice them to some Pokemon God. But remember, they have to be important.

 

Re: Finding Refuge Part One - (J.E.2) [Ready for Grading]

OK. After having a good long talk with Nemo, I've come to a decision:

The Burglary Plot Point was worthy of a Simple Pokemon. You described the thieves decently, enough, though you can't have enough details. A good example of a place that could use more detail:

If they were dressed similarly, how does your character know which is which? More detail in how the body language between the two characters would help.

Also:

Which thug was this? They both take steps forward.

The plot point was relevant to the over-arcing plot enough for a simple Pokemon, but I believe that it didn't impact enough for a Simple and a Medium mon. Plot wise, George's man just saw them being run out. Did he watch the entire encounter or them just running out. Remember, details, details, details. They will be your salvation!

But yeah in addition to the grammar and other remarks in the grade, i must deem:
Houndour, not captured
Machop,


The story seems more concentrated on Mudkip and Tangela than anything else, heck i think you could have captured another Mudkip if you wanted. If the thief section was broadened out more, maybe have the character come back, cause some trouble for George or something more involved, Houndour would be captured.

 

Sorry this took so long:

Spoiler

Looking at a brand new, never been used:


Good job on the edits. I couldn't see anything newly wrong with what you have changed, and it seems like you addressed all my concerns, so might as well not make a whole new grade.
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