Expedition: Alola [Sun/Moon]

Spoiler

Quick Note: Guillaume's shorthand name "Gui" is pronounced "gee" with a hard "g", like "good" and "ee" like in "free".

Also this story was inspired by the life of Charles Darwin, hope you enjoy!

Expedition: Alola




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Waves crashed along side the SS Stoutland, spritzing sea foam over the sides of the ancient oak ship. The salty spray dowsed the men at work keeping the ship on its course. A man, not in the sailor white and blue uniforms but in slacks and a thick wool sweater, traversed the dock to arrive by the wheel. He wiped the sea water from his face and graying scruff and cleaned his glasses as he began to speak. “Captain Tor! I hear from the men that we'll be landing soon, is this true?”


The captain, with weathered white hair and beard pulled back by the wind and wet by the sea stood strong and far over the wheel, like a pillar. His bushy brow focused inward as his fixed gaze pierced the horizon. The wheel tried to stray from his grasp, but he was too unrelenting, too stern. “Look there, doc,” he muffled through his beard and clenched jaw. His accent was one of the seamen folk: always from a distant land, never belonging to any one place.


The man turned and put his glasses back on to find the horizon growing with black and green. They were headed for an island, one rich with forest that claimed the skin of a volcano. A smile grew on the man's face. They had been at sea for months, and now they would come to their destination: the Alolan islands.


The man hit the dock hard with both feet and took in the fresh, island air. He stumbled momentarily as he was expecting to shift his weight due to the waves, but there were one. Chuckling lightly at himself, the man walked into the small port town leaving the sailors to unload the ship.


“Ahoy there there Guillaume!” a friendly voice sounded. The man turned to see a scientist in a white lab coat, curly sunburnt hair, and a clean shaven chin bound his way toward him. “It's Dr. Delamer now,” Guillaume said straightening out his smile. The other man slowed his haste. “But you can call me Gui, get over here!” Gui ran over and embraced the other man in a tight hug. “How've you been Sam?”


“I've been alright, Gui, in fact, more than alright! This place is paradise, I tell ya. I can't wait to show you some of the wondrous creatures they have here,” Sam had his arm around Gui as they began to walk down the road, “I was so excited to receive your letter about studying the biodiversity here on the islands. I'm so glad you gave up your obsession with Eelektriks and Eelektrosses; they were just weird things to be fascinated with, you must be honest.”


The two of them entered a grand foyer of a luxurious hotel. They sat at a bar next to a fountain with fans swirling above. “I have a gift for you, Gui,” Sam said as he signaled to the waiter for two glasses of water. “A gift?” Gui asked. Sam nodded and whistled at the waiter. The waiter pulled out from behind the bar a large bird cage with a vine of pink flowers and a bird with a skirt of feathers, just as pink as the flowers, swaying gently inside.


“An Oricorio!” Sam explained. “The locals here tell me that it's one of a kind here on this island, I thought you would like one for your collection you'll bring back to Sinnoh, so I saved you the trouble of capturing one yourself.”


“Thanks you, Sam!” Gui exclaimed. He took the cage and admired the bird as it continued to sway, now singing and chirping a relaxing tune. “This is a fine specimen, I can't wait to draw and examine it. Where's its habitat? What does it eat? How does it eat? What about water, does it drink? How does it mate? It's rituals? It's life cycles?”


“Woah, woah, Gui,” Sam said, calming him down, “you have to go out and observe yourself. I've been searching for flowers and plants, and my there are a great deal here on Akala island. I'm ecstatic to venture out to the other three, but I know nothing about the creatures here. That's for you to find out.


“All I know is that these flowers,” Sam pointed to the ones growing from the vine in the cage with Oricorio, “are special somehow. The locals deem them almost sacred, and they seem to be Oricorio's main source of food. They also tell me that these flowers, and their nectar are very rare around here, so I packaged a load and am having it sent with you as you explore the other islands.” Gui thanked Sam again and set off back toward the boat.


The next few weeks, Gui had documented over fifty new species of Pokemon and their habitats. He had learned interesting things about some of the Pokemon that lived on the island, like how only female Salandits evolve, or the glowing nature of Morelull. They were all extremely interesting, and Gui would've liked to have stayed longer, but unfortunately his captain had a deadline of when he had to be back to Sinnoh.


Thus Gui had the sailors help him capture many of the local Pokemon to bring them back to the mainland. Most of the specimens would die on the trip and take a lot of resourced, so Gui had ordered most of the specimens already be dead, dried and pressed or stuffed for examination later. He himself did a lot of the dissection to better understand their anatomy.


But he kept his Oricorio in his room; it was special to him, and lulled him to sleep when he was restless with its soothing, almost mind numbing dance and song.


They took to the sea to go to the next island. Gui had heard Ula'ula island was the largest, and oldest of the four islands. It was heard to be more traditional, and the wildlife a little more rough. He was excited to see what treasures mother nature had lay bare for him to observe, but as he stood on the deck and cast a dreamy eye out at the sea, their boat trembled.


Men fell to their feet, wood was being snapped somewhere below decks, crates tumbled down and fell overboard. Gui got back to his feet as the ship stopped. He climbed the stairs to the wheel.


“Did we hit a Corsola bed?” he asked as Captain Tor kept his eyes out on the sea. “No,” he said sharply. “That be no Corsola bed we hit. We hit nothing at all, doc,” Captain Tor moved his fog gray eyes around as he continued, “something hit us.”


“What? Like a creature? A Pokemon?” Gui asked going from fear to interest.


“Water coming in from below captain!” a sailor informed. “How quickly?” Captain Tor asked. The sailor took no time to respond, “A steady trickle, but if something were to hit the ship again it could give quickly!”


“We'll continue,” Captain Tor commanded. “But be on the look out, men, any sight of a creature and you sound.”


The party continued on their route to the next island without another hit from anything. Gui was upset to find out that one of the crates that had gone overboard was one that had the pink flowers his Oricorio needed. So he decided he would find another food source here on this island for Oricorio. At the dock on Ula'ula the sailors repaired the side of the ship as Gui ventured out to the wilds to capture and observe Pokemon, and find some other source of food for Oricorio.


He began searching for a different food by trying different flowers, but Oricorio wouldn't eat or drink from any of them. He tried some local berries, and that seemed to do the trick, but Oricorio wouldn't eat many berries, and Gui sensed it was craving nectar.


So Gui went out into the village nearby and began asking the local people if they knew anything about Oricorio. “You know, small bird, calming song that's pink with a feathered skirt,” he explained to a patron at a bar. The patron waved him off and he was about to give up and go ask somewhere else when a voice called out.


“Miss'tah, I tink I know what you be look'n fo' you.” Gui turned to see a woman with a shroud covering her head and most of her face. The patron got up quickly and left the bar as the woman got closer. “Who are you?” Gui asked as she pulled the shroud off her face.


She had white eyes contrast to her dark freckled skin. Thick bands of meshed hair fell to her arms, and scars striped her lips. “Me name be Maman Sosye. Dere be flowers dat you wan' in a field sou' of de islan' volcano. Dey be differen' from de others dey, but your birdie be happier dan a Mudbrey afta' da rain.”


“Oh, thank you, thank you very much Maman Sosye,” Gui said as he left in search for the flowers.


When Gui returned with the vine of purple flowers, he gave it to his Oricorio, who chirped with glee and began to drink the nectar. “I'll be back, little one,” Gui explained to his Oricorio, “I'm going on a little expedition up the mountain for a few days. I placed a sailor in charge of cleaning your cage and making sure you have food while I'm gone.” Gui left as Oricorio drank its nectar to finish packing for the trip.


A few days later when Gui returned, they had a feast at a local eatery to celebrate the haul the expedition brought in. They had found a large tortoise which had spikes on its back that would explode if hit. It unfortunately killed one of the men, but these things were expected on these trips, so the feast was also to commemorate the lost soul.


The crew were drinking and eating in a large party when the doors blew open and Maman Sosye entered the restaurant. “What have you all been do'n yous?!” She yelled at the party. The crew became quiet at her interruption. “You be tak'n an' tak'n, yous. All de Pokemon you kill, be tak'n deir skin an' bones, you monsters yous!”


“Maman Sosye, we're scientists and explorers, we're not doing it to be evil, we're doing it for science,” explained Gui. A couple of the locals got up and began to escort Maman Sosye out, but she held her ground and she cried back, “No, you monsters yous!”


“Maman,” one of the locals said calmly, “if de foreigners wan' to die by de wrath of de sea god, le' dem Maman, dey no wort' it.”


“Sea god?” chimed in Captain Tor, “what sea god?” Maman Sosye's clenched eyebrows relaxed as her mouth climbed her face in a sinister smile.


“Oh you will mee' him, you. Ders a grea' sea god who lives in our bay. He can be as large o' as small as he wan', him. He de bringer o' life an' o' death. We eat on him, us, an' he swallow us whole, he. You ta'e too much from our islan's an' you will mee' de god of de sea. He will swallow you capitai' and mos' o' all o' your crew, he.” The locals began to force her out of the restaurant and she obliged leaving Gui, Captain Tor, and his crew with a chill that clawed its way from their heads to their tailbones.



The next day the crew packed up for the sea. Gui was arranging the crates and finishing up charting what he was bringing back as he entered his chamber. He heard the soft singing of his Oricorio, but it had changed. Still calm and relaxing, it didn't have the same rhythm and mind numbing effect it did previously.


Gui went over to his bird Pokemon and was astonished to see that his Oricorio was gone! Instead there was a bird, much like Oricorio, but purple, with lobbing wings and feathered fans in its hands. It even swayed differently than his Oricorio, but it now seemed to relax his spirit instead of his mind. Furious and confused he called in the sailor who was left in charge of caring for his Oricorio.


“Son, can you explain to me this?!” he shouted as he pointed to the new bird. The scrawny sailor's lips trembled as he explained. “Sir, doctor, sir, I, uh, I don't know-”


“What do you mean you don't know?!” Gui interjected. His rage was getting the better of him he knew, so he calmed slightly and continued asking, “Where did my Oricorio go, and how did this thing get in here? And what even is this thing?”


“Doctor, sir, I had been taking care of it for a while, but then I came in one day and it looked like this. The cage had been locked, I checked, and there was a big mess of pink feathers at the bottom of the cage, so I cleaned it and have been taking care of this bird in the meantime. I.. I..”


“You what, sailor?”


“I think it's the same Pokemon, sir,” the sailor said tentatively. Gui thought for a moment. He felt like he lost a wonderful gift from a dear friend, but was curious about this new specimen. It could be the same Pokemon, he didn't know much about this new creature, but no other Pokemon he knew changed forms like this in this way. Castform change with weather, Aegislash changes forms for battling, Cherrim changes forms to blossom in sunlight, but this was greatly different.


“You're excused, sailor,” Gui said dismissing the sailor. He took out his book and began to sketch this new Pokemon, but had no idea what to call it. After thinking for a while he concluded to call it Oricorio as well, and go off of the theory that it had maybe changed forms.


As they disembarked for the next island, Gui came up to the dinner table. They had only just left the island and where on route at sea when some of the crew were quietly mumbling to each other. Finally Captain Tor slammed his fist down on the table and the crew fell silent.


“Your concerns?” Captain Tor asked without taking his eyes off of his brisket, and continued to eat.


“Well,” one of the sailors from down the table began, “we know we're going from Ula'ula to Poni island, and we also know we're taking the most direct route... which is out in the open ocean.”


“And?” the captain surly gritted between chews.


“And...” the sailor looked around his crew mates for support where he found little and then at Gui who was more curious at the sailors seemingly questionable disruption than feeling helpful. The sailor mustered the courage and continued, “and... we were thinking if there is some sea god that's mad with us, maybe we should avoid the open sea and stick near the shallows?”


Gui and the rest of the crew waited in anticipation as Captain Tor wiped his mouth with a napkin and prepared himself to speak by clearing hi throat. “You believe the old woman, son? That there's some giant monster out there that'll swallow us whole?” The sailor flustered a bit and began to dismiss himself, “well, I'm not... you know sure or-”


“I am sure,” Captain Tor interrupted, “I'm sure there is a beast out there that can swallow us whole. But I fear not such beasts. There have always been beasts in the sea that can swallow us. I also am sure that the thing that hit us on our route from Akala to Ula'ula was the beast in question. If we meet up with such a beast again, I am sure that you all will have the brawn and courage to do as I command as your captain. I am sure I will fight with my life to save each and every one of yours with my trusted Altaria.


“Sea beasts tend to use storms and rain as a shroud for their attacks, but Altaria's Cloud Nine puts and end to those shenanigans. From there her and I should be able to take on any sea beast, not like it wouldn't be our first. And we are taking this route through the open ocean instead of the shallows because we are running a bit behind. I fear not the sea beasts, and I advise you not either.”


The captain took a drink of his mead as the crew sat in continued silence. “Eat,” Captain Tor commanded, “you need your energy to keep the ship afloat, and even more to defend her. Now eat.”


As the party of the SS Stoutland continued on to Poni island, each day was filled with tension. The crew felt uneasy about the open ocean, but the days were at least not as tense as the nights. Most nights were now accompanied by strange sounds coming from the ocean, like a low growling from a monstrous beast, or the rumble from a giant, hungry stomach. Captain Tor slept less over the next few weeks as he kept a watchful eye on the weather and he mysterious shapes and shadows that lurked beneath the waves. But they reached Poni island without a hitch.


After they docked, Gui went straight to the locals to ask them about Oricorio and what knew. Strangely, none of them had ever heard of a pink or purple bird with calming and soothing song and dance. But they had heard of a bird that dances and gave him the red flowers it drinks nectar from. Intrigued, Gui found the flowers very similar to the purple and pink ones. There were only a few differences, but he decided to do a experiment.


He took the flowers back to his chamber on the ship and replaced the purple ones with the red. “Drink up, little one, they're fresh,” he said to his bird Pokemon. The Pokemon did so, but did not turn color. It chirped and chimed as it swayed its fan-like feathers around. Disappointed, Gui left and went into the village to gather some supplies.


That evening, after dinner when Gui returned to his quarters, he saw a glimmer of red in his bird cage that didn't belong to the flowers. He hurried over and examined the bird Pokemon. It chirped and cheered gleefully as Gui prodded it with his fingers. And there it was. A few red feathers had sprouted from the bird Pokemon and a few purple ones lay at the bottom of the cage.


Ecstatic, Gui took out his notebook and began to scribble insistently. He needed to get rest, but had just excitement brewing in him, he felt like he was about to overflow. However, he got ready for bed and forced himself to sleep, feeling like a child trying to sleep the day before Christmas.


The next morning, when Gui woke, he leapt out of bed and hurried over to the cage where his sleeping bird Pokemon rested. It was magnificent, most of the purple feathers had molted off, and red feathers with a black pattern was appearing. He grabbed his notebook again and took notes. Oricorio woke to the noise of scribbling pencil.


“How do you feel, little one?” Gui asked with vigor. The Oricorio peered up at him and gave a small peep before going over to the flowers and drinking some morning nectar. Gui smiled and put his notebook away. He called upon another sailor to watch over his Oricorio as he left for the expedition of Poni island.


“It'll be a short one, this island is the smallest. I want you taking good care of it for me, some of its feathers are being replaced right now, so clean the cage when it's done molting, got it?” The sailor nodded in agreement as Gui left for the island.


After a few days exploring a large canyon, Gui came back to the ship to find out his sailor had been replaced by another to watch after his Oricorio. “Why, what happened to the old one?” Gui asked a fellow crew member.


“Well, that sailor and a buddy of his had a fight over a woman they saw on the dock. That sailor of yours was just too full of passion and began to brawl. So while he's in solitary confinement, another sailor has taken his post.”


Gui wet and relieved the sailor of his duty and saw the fully transformed red Oricorio. He jotted down in his notebook the way the new formed Oricorio chirped and danced with a type of fire. It hopped and skipped about, twisting its red and black layered wings, throwing winks behind curled black feathers.

It gave Gui the fire and drive that he could accomplish anything he set his mind to. He adored his little bird and gave it more flowers than usual.


The following days were the last on Poni island. The crew were not as apprehensive on going back out to sea as they were previously, because they knew how short it was from Poni island to Melemele island.


They set sail as Gui was finishing drying the hide of a Kommo-o that had put up a large fight against he and his men in the canyon. The scales clanged and crashed against each other as he put it up to hang on a type of hat rack.


That night, after dinner, in the restful calm before every man not of the night's watch, Gui stood on the main deck near the wheel where the first mate steered. Gui was watching Poni island disappear in the moonlit sea. It was amazing to watch what he imagined had to be a centuries old island seemingly sink into the dark waters below, when he knew that was exactly what was really going on. And in a few more centuries when Poni island is gone forever, a new island on the other side of the archipelago will appear to take its place.


He could only imagine what type of Pokemon had lived on Poni island, what the Pokemon that only lived on Poni island where going to do in a few centuries time, what new Pokemon will come with the new island, and especially what new flowers and nectar will be on the new island that his Oricorio could feed on and change its form. He day dreamt about what would be on Melemele, and the haze from day dreaming to regular dreaming began to thicken.


RAM!


The ship stopped suddenly, throwing everything on the deck forward. Gui flung sideways and down the steps onto the lower deck. He got up as other men began running out onto the deck. They heard a low rumble that sounded like it was coming from below the ship.


“What is that!?”

“That's not coming from the ship!”

“It's the god of the sea!”

“It's going to swallow us whole!”


The sailors began to panic, as did Gui on the inside.

“Get a hold of yerselves!” commanded Captain Tor as he came out of the Captain's Quarters with blood streaming down his face. “Let's give this beasty and good lick'n,” he said as he grabbed a harpoon gun. His first mate started barking orders and the other sailors towed in line.


“You're not going to send your Altaria out on it?” asked Gui as he fallowed the Captain to the side of the deck. “Nay,” the captain responded. He swung the harpoon gun over the side, pointing it down into the water. Water around the boat was swirling vigorously, even though the rest of the ocean was calm.


“This isn't the battle, doc, it's the beast testing us out. We panic, it knows we're easy pickings, we fight with all out might, it knows we are amateurs, but if we injure it,” the captain paused and shot the harpoon gun into the thrashing water, a painful roar sounded from below, “then it'll know we are foes to be reckoned with.”


Thrashing came from all sides of the ship as the roar turned into moaning and screeching. The ship jostled in the violent waters; crates and crew alike were tossed around. Gui clenched onto the side of the ship to hold his ground, but Captain Tor stood with a wide stance and glared at the water, waiting.


Then, very quickly, the thrashing ceased and shadows darted from the boat in every direction before bleeding in with the dark waters of the sea. Gui got his ground back underneath him, but as he rose, he looked at Captain Tor, who to his surprise, had his brow furled and eyes dilated. He looked concerned if not a bit worried.


“What's wrong, Captain?” Gui asked, but Captain Tor continued to watch the black ocean. After a few moments he responded, “It broke up, into many parts, and left in all directions.” Gui's stomach turned, like he was baring his sea legs again. He looked out to the ocean. Darkness and silence greeted him. The moon wafting over the ripples gave an eerie calm that nothing of danger lurked below, like the sweet smell of a Carnivine.


“I don't know what it is,” Captain Tor continued, “it's one of the mysteries of the sea... one of her many mysteries. But whatever it is, we'll take it on. And win. Or I'll go down with the ship trying.” Gui wide eyed Captain Tor, he couldn't believe the captain thought the ship could go down or that he'd die to this beast. “But Captain-”


“Good night, Doctor Delamer,” Captain Tor said as he briskly turned and left the deck.


Melemele island was the last island they were to explore and take specimens from before they departed back east toward Sinnoh. The island was simple: a tropical paradise. Gui thought it'd might make a nice holiday getaway in the future. He may come back someday to do more research, or for a vacation of sorts. He also thought he may end up spending the rest of his days in Sinnoh, writing theories based off of his plentiful research he had done already in the Alolan islands.


Most of the locals hadn't heard of any dancing birds, nor of any special flowers. Gui searched the island and found many interesting specimens, but many too were like those of other islands already. It was peculiar how some species were able to go from one island to the next, and others could not. It seemed to be a favorable trait to have if the islands were to disappear someday.


He was certain then, that if he found Oricorio on three out of four of the islands, he would certainly find them here on Melemele as well. And soon, his predictions came true as he stumbled into a meadow of fragrant, yellow flowers. He cut a bushel and returned back to his chamber on the ship.


Gui waited until the next morning when he could observe the transformation the whole day. He gave Oricorio the yellow flowers in the morning and it drank them. As the day progress, Gui noted down every time a feather molted or grew from Oricorio. He noticed it was even, like the lobbing wing feathers were disappearing, but the hand feathers were growing like a puffy bush.


In the evening, Oricorio had become completely yellow, with puffs on the sides of its head, chirping cheerily and bouncing in place. It made Gui feel full with energy, almost electric. He spent the rest of the night expressing his wondrous find to anybody who would listen, and in the morning he sent a letter to his colleague and friend Sam, explaining how fantastic Oricorio was, and sent with the letter a bush of each of the flowers he found on each island and their properties related to Oricorio.


The following day they were set to sail back to Sinnoh. But a storm lay on the horizon and it unnerved many of the crew. Gui stood next to Captain Tor on the boat as the storm rumbled from a distance.


“We're already a tad late. I'm sure they'll understand if we're one more day behind-”


“We're leaving,” Captain Tor interrupted Gui. Gui was astonished. “But you know it'll be out there, lurking and anticipating us.”


“No, Doctor,” Captain Tor said in his strange accent, “tis not the beast that awaits us. I await the beast.


“But it's suicide!” Gui interjected. “No,” Captain Tor relented, face full of stone and eyes full of storm he took a moment to continue, “tis destiny.” And with that, the Captain had his crew hoist the sails and they took off for the churning sea.


As they sailed off from port, Gui looked back at the island and the crowd of locals who were seeing them off. In the crowd of smiling, waving people, he saw an old woman standing still, staring directly at him with white eyes. With chills in his bones, Gui paced his room as the rain pitter-pattered outside. Oricorio was watching him pace, and every time he stopped and looked at his little bird, it smiled, bounced, and cheered, giving him more energy to pace his nerves away. The pressure was too much and he ran out onto the deck.


The rain was light, the sun still visible, and the ocean not very rough. He looked at the crew, who seemed to be emotionless. He climbed the stairs to the helm where Captain Tor steered the ship. “I thought the beast was going to attack us in the storm,” he said, buttoning up his coat over his sweater. Captain Tor, however, left his shirt unbuttoned and hairy chest bare to the elements.


“She'll come,” Captain Tor responded. “She didn't play with us for nothing.”


“I think maybe the old woman was right in that it's attacking us for taking too much,” Gui expressed, “maybe we ought to lighten our load and appease the beast?”


“You talk like it's a god, doc,” Captain Tor responded, “there be only one true God, Arceus. And I mind you pray your soul isn't claimed by the sea Arceus made. She's a mean and twisted one, with creature of all sizes and levels of danger. She's working with Arceus' hand to test us, doc. Do not feed into heathenish lore and myth. It'll do you no good.”


“But-”


CRACKLECRASH!


Lightning struck the ocean nearby as the winds began to pick up. Gui faltered under the suddenness of the thunder, but Captain Tor remained tall and abidingly strong.


“We're sailing into the heart of the storm, boys,” Captain Tor called out to his men, “make peace with yerselves now; you may not have time later.


Through turbulent rain and wind they sailed on. Traversing the stormy sea on their path home, but for Gui, home seemed like a lost cause. He felt like they were going to be swallowed not by some monster in the sea, but by the sea itself. Soon, as the rain became so thick that Gui couldn't see either ed of the boat, there came a sound like no other. Not thunder, nor crashing waves, but a rising, bone shaking growl that echoed from the deep beneath them.


“She's here!” Captain Tor called as he reached in his pocket. His long overcoat whipped around in the wind as he pulled out a Pokeball and threw it forth. “Let's go Altaria, use your ability to quell this rain!”


A cloud-like bird materialized out of the ball and began to glow with a still effect. It wasn't calm, nor intense, but like someone had lifted everyone off of their feet during an earthquake. Everything around them raged in the storm, but the ship itself became clear of rain, wind, and lightning.


The growling intensified, and soon, as the wall of rain continued to widen, a large blue and black mass materialized out of the storm on the side of the ship. Twice the size of the boat, a creature rose from the depths of the sea, with glowing yellow eyes and a mouth big enough to swallow the world. Gui gaped at the wonder of such a creature, incredible specimen, yet it put the fear of God into the pits of his soul.


“Altaria, Dragon Pulse!” Captain Tor commanded as his bird Pokemon charged up a blue energy and shot out at the beast. A direct hit, the beast reeled in pain as the blast hit the lower left side of its face. It lowered its massive head back to stare at Captain Tor as a chunk of its face fell off into the ocean. But as soon as the hole appeared, it seemed to regenerate itself; the gape grew smaller until it was completely restored.


“Dear God,” Captain Tor said silently as he watched the beast look around the ship for other victims. It locked sights with Captain Tor and let out a ferocious bellow that shook the ship and crew to their cores. “I'll keep it busy and fight it, the rest of you get to the lifeboats and try to make it out with your lives!” Captain Tor commanded as his Altaria began shooting more Dragon Pulses at the beast.


The crew didn't need a second command as they began prepping the life boats on the other side of the ship. Gui was frozen in fear and couldn't think of what to do. “Dear God,” he said as he remembered, “Oricorio.” He made a mad dash to his chamber as the fight ensured.


He entered and saw a worried looking Oricorio from the cage. He ran over and began to undo the lock as he said, “It's okay, little one, you go and fly on out of here. I'll let you fly back to an island you can call home. Maybe I'll find you one day, but I may be swallowed by the sea beast.” Roaring continued outside as the sounds of more Altaria's Dragon Pulse exploded with the storm faint in the background around them all. Oricorio looked up at Gui, it looked at the flowers, now almost wilting, and Gui ran back outside.


“Go, my little one!” Gui shouted as he let go of Oricorio. The bird Pokemon leapt from his hands and flew into the sky. “That's it,” Gui cried as tears began welling in his eyes, “get out of here and to someplace safe!”


But Oricorio was flying toward the giant beast and Altaria. “No!” Gui yelled out.


“Guillaume, get out of here!” Captain Tor shouted “You must leave before anything-”


GGrrrrRRROOOOOAAAR


The beast bellowed ominously as it rose higher in the air, then suddenly smashed back down onto the sea. A massive wave surfed up and over the deck of the ship. Altaria had flown down quickly in front of Captain Tor and Gui, but the wave inundated them all. It swept through the whole ship, carrying cargo, broken masts, sails, men, and life boats.


As the wave settled, some of the crew had been carried overboard and into the murky outlands of the sea. Captain Tor and Gui remained on the ship, but Captain Tor's Altaria had fainted. The rain and wind resumed fiercely as Captain Tor held his Pokemon's limp body. “It'll be alright, Altaria,” he said sweetly, “it'll be all over soon.”


Gui looked up in the sky for Oricorio, and to his surprise it was still flying up there. Against the wave, against the wind and rain, Oricorio was still up there now facing the beast by itself. Gui squinted through the rain and distance to view was he thought he was seeing clearly: Oricorio dancing? How peculiar, how ignorant, it should escape on the wind to an island where it'll be safe!


The yellow bid Pokemon was pumping its bushy hand feathers and chirped exhaustingly loud and cheerful. The beast was gradually getting closer to Oricorio, opening its massive mouth as if to drown Oricorio in its sea of a mouth, but before the best could get closer, Oricorio finished its dance with a final pump.


Just then, a bolt of lightning came down and struck the beast. It electrified the monster for seconds lasting minutes. It hollered and growled in pain, echoing across the waves as the lightning surged through its entire being.


The lightening stopped, and the beast hung in the air for a moment before falling to the sea. But it fell like a water balloon being popped; it fell apart into millions of pieces, lumping into the sea and sprawling all over the deck of the ship. As the wave of what was once the beast came to a halt near Captain Tor and Gui, Gui noticed what all the little bits were: small fish.


Each piece of the beast had been made up of millions upon millions of small little white and blue fish. They had watery, sad looking eyes, and looked incredibly pathetic. The storm began to calm as Oricorio came flying back to Gui.


“By Arceus,” Captain Tor began to say, “that bird, that little bird saved all of our lives.” He stood and grabbed Oricorio, kiss it on its head, and handed it to Gui. It chirped and raised its wings in glee. “It saved us all from this... from these...”


“From Wishiwashi,” Gui said. He began to stroke Oricorio's head as he continued, “That's what I'm going to call it. Help me gather a good amount to bring back to Sinnoh.” He raised his head and smiled at the captain. Captain Tor returned the smile and began to gather the remaining crew to clean up and return home.


Years later Gui wrote a book about his experiences and adventures on the SS Soutland in the Alolan Islands called: On the Origin of Form Changing.










Pokémon: Oricorio, Wishiwashi
Rank: Complex --> Medium, Complex -- Medium
Characters Needed: 20,000
Actual Characters: 33,875​

 

Claiming!

 

Intro: Your introduction is pretty good! We get some really nice visuals right away, with the waves 'spritzing sea foam over the sides of the ancient oak ship.' You do a lot of quick little descriptions here, which is good- it's not just a sweater, it's a thick wool sweater. You don't spend too much time on these, and we don't get any really in-depth descriptions, but the small descriptive words you tag onto your nouns basically do that job quite succinctly in less time.

I always personally prefer when stories begin with dialogue, because it's an automatic way to pull a reader in- when someone reads a line of dialogue, they automatically want context for it, want to know who said it and why. Starting with a big block of text can also be kind of intimidating for the reader. Personally, I would recommend moving the line of dialogue at the end of your intro to the beginning, just to better grab the reader's attention, but this is really just personal choice and what you did is just fine!

Plot: First of all lemme say I found it really hecking cool that you drew inspiration from Darwin's finches. I hadn't noticed the similarities between the forms of one bird unique to different islands before, but now I think it's awesome, so nice job there.

At first, I have to say to Oricorio felt kind of out of place in the plot, kind of like it had just been added for the capture and could be removed without changing much, which is generally a sign that the Pokémon isn't very well integrated into the plot. Everything did come full circle in the end with Pom Pom Oricorio defeating the Wishiwashi, though, so that's all good.

Also, a small thing, but I always love stories that find alternative uses for Pokémon and their abilities, so I just love the little detail of the sailors bringing an Altaria with Cloud Nine with them to avoid bad weather. That was really creative and I loved it.

Grammar: Overall, grammar was pretty solid! Just a few things I noticed-

You want to start a new paragraph every time a new person speaks, to avoid confusion about who's talking. Generally you were pretty good about this, but there were a few clumps, mostly when Gui and the Captain were talking. For example, this one:

You'd just want to start a new paragraph in between 'interjected' and 'no.' Also, while I'm at it, the use of the word 'relented' in the above paragraph is a bit weird, because the captain isn't giving in to Gui's argument, he's objecting to it.

Also- I don't know if this should go here but I'm not sure where else to put it- I had a kind of hard time understanding the old woman's speech, and I was stuck sounding it out in my head for a little bit. I absolutely understand that that was probably the point and I did think she was a really good character, but you may want to tone down the use of phonetic accents like that one just to make sure everything is legible.

Description: I already talked about this some in the intro section, and that's some feedback that for the most part applies to the rest of the story- you don't have any really long, detailed descriptions, but you have lots of little short ones, which covers it up quite well.

An exception was the description of Maman Sosye, which I really liked:

It paints a very vivid picture of a character- not just that standards like skin and hair color, either, but scarred lips and blind eyes. This is a person with experiences and troubles. I loved this and you should do more stuff like this in further stories. It makes your characters people with lives and imperfections, not just characters.

Length: Length was awesome! Especially considering this is a SuMo story and most of those, including mine, only did the bare minimum length due to the time constraints. So yeah, awesome job on the length, and pacing seemed just fine too. It didn't seem like you had to force any extra material in there to achieve that length, which does happen sometimes to longer stories.

And... Oricorio and Wishiwashi are caught! Yeah, I don't really have any major issues with this one, and I'd say it's definitely good enough for two Medium captures. Enjoy your tiny murderfish and your Darwin's finch!