Demons of the Forest

This spoiler contains information about the story. Please read the story itself first.

Spoiler

This story contains 41,558 characters.
The Pokemon aimed for: Ninetales.
If this story goes over well, I'm going to start a series.
Ready for grading.

Notes on the setting. Again, please read the story first:

Spoiler

This story was set in Japan's Sengoku, or Warring States, period, around the turn of the sixteenth century. During this time, Japan was split up into numerous feudal divisions that were constantly fighting for dominance. As a result, samurai and ninja were powerful forces. In the Pokemon world, the Sengoku period would be long before the invention of the Poke Ball or of the term "Pokemon" itself. As a result, neither term shows up in the story. I just wanted to see if I could write a URPG story without saying "Pokemon." And now I have! I hoped you liked it.

Demons of the Forest
Tales from the Sengoku

The scruffy-looking young man came forth and kowtowed. Formalities finished, he knelt in front of his master, who was kneeling as well. While the daimyo's posture was perfect, legs and hands in the prescribed elegant positions, his own posture was rather more unrefined.

He bowed once more, this time more shallowly. "Daimyo, did you call for me? How can I serve you, milord?"

The feudal lord frowned. "Indeed I summoned you, demon-tamer. However, I had called for both of you. Where is your brother?"

"Ichiro, milord? The last I heard, he was out in the fields working with his birds. I guess the messenger went to find him after he got to me first, so Ichiro's probably still on his way."

The daimyo hissed through his teeth in disapproval but didn't reprimand him. "I suppose it can't be helped. What I have to say is of the utmost urgency, so I shall say it now, even with only one of you here. Find your brother on your way out and pass it on to him as well. I want both of you working together on this, along with your demon-hounds and his demon-birds."

"As you command, milord."

The daimyo leaned forward. "There are reports of a powerful being in the northern forests of my domain. The samurai there suspect that it is a demon of the type from which you make your profession. Ougami shall explain."

Ougami was one of the retinue of unarmored samurai sitting against the walls of the room. He bowed and spoke.

"Demon-tamer, I hold a fief in the northern area of our lord's domain. It is a peaceful district of forests and mountains. Recently, many small fires have arisen among the trees. However, there have also been great blizzards at the same time, and mysterious winds that seem almost sharp enough to draw blood. The peasants have spoken of seeing shadowy figures running through the trees, and one or two priests have disappeared."

"This kind of control over the forces of nature means that a demon must be responsible," the daimyo said. "You and your brother are our demon experts. If you fail to resolve this situation, I will have to send in my samurai to attack this threat to my lands. With all the major domains at war, I can't afford to have my men do something like that. Our neighbors would use it as a chance to attack us in our moment of distraction. Hence your mission: find the demon and defeat or appease it. You have your ways, Saburo Demon-Tamer, and I don't pretend to know them. Use them well."

The daimyo handed him a scroll. "Here is a note of safe passage for you and your brother, along with an explanation of the situation. It will get you wherever you need to go. Act quickly."

With another exchange of bows and formal gestures, the audience was at its end. Saburo walked out, escorted by one of the samurai.

"Sounds like a serious mission," the samurai told him with a smile before letting him out through the castle's front gate. "Work hard and don't give up, the two of you. Good luck!"

Saburo bowed to the samurai somewhat more warmly than was commonly seen behind such a commonplace gesture. Demons were widely feared, and so demon-tamers like him didn't get much kindness either. They were surely respected, but that was as far as it went. This samurai was one of the older ones, with patches of gray starting to appear in his carefully-kept hair. Perhaps it was just the mellowness of age that had prompted his well-wishes. Saburo appreciated them nonetheless.

He marched down the road, whistling nervously. This sounded like an interesting job, but "interesting" almost always meant "life-threatening" for your average demon-tamer. Once he caught up with his brother, they could get ready. The urgency of the daimyo's request meant that they'd probably have to head out immediately.

There he was. Ichiro, wearing his dusty indigo robe with the daimyo's emblem on the back, was coming up the road next to the messenger Saburo had met earlier. It looked like he'd dismissed his birds, probably to reassure the messenger. "Demon sparrows" terrified those who didn't get to know them. Ichiro, on the other hand, had found that they liked cherries and would suffer all kinds of indignities to get their claws on a bowl of them.

Saburo called out to his brother. "Ichiro! I just got back from the daimyo. He wants us to leave now."

"What about me?" the messenger asked. "My orders were to bring him in with you."

Saburo handed him the scroll. The messenger unfurled it and studied it with a scowl. "...I can't read this. Our lord's using the fancy Chinese-ey script, and I never learned it."

"Uh..." Saburo admitted, "me neither."

Ichiro just shrugged.

They ended up flagging down a passing samurai on patrol, who read the scroll out for the three of them with a long-suffering look on his face.

"Right," the messenger said brightly, "my job's done. Looks like I get to go home. Good luck, and don't get eaten!"

The brothers bid him farewell and kept walking down the road, while the messenger headed back to the castle town.

"So, what's the problem?" Ichiro asked his brother.

"Let's get everyone together first," Saburo suggested. "They'll want to know, too, and I want to explain everything while it's still fresh in my mind."

"If you say so. Let's duck into the woods and call them over, then."

The woods were quiet. It looked like the resident demons had decided against doing anything special that day. Perfect for summoning a few demons of their own. Ichiro pulled out a clay flute that covered with short tube-shaped protrusions and brought it to his mouth. Its red varnish gleamed gently in the rays of sunlight peeking through the branches above. He played a strange warbling melody whose overtones seemed to bounce from tree to tree. Although they were in the forest, there were somehow echoes left behind when he played the last note.

This was a technique that had been passed down in their family line of demon-tamers. Neither of them knew how many "great"s went before the name of the ancestor who had invented it, but the Demon Flute, as it was known, summoned demons without fail.

After a few minutes of utter silence, predatory shapes coalesced out of the sky and undergrowth.

"Ah, there you are!" Saburo exclaimed. Extra heartily. It had become a bit of a game between him and his pack: who could show the least fear. Two demons emerged from the trees, both vaguely wolf-like. Kou, the strongest of Saburo's pack, had a skull-like marking on his head and sometimes conjured up eerie flames when he was angry. This didn't happen very often, as he had a calm demeanor. Otsu was his tracker. His short gray fur, which darkened around his snout and paws, allowed him to blend into the shadows and use his keen nose to start- and end- the hunt. Otsu liked lurking around more than fighting. These weren't all of his demons, but some had to stay and guard the house.

Ichiro rolled his eyes at Saburo being macho. His flock didn't care too much about machismo- he suspected that one of them was actually female, but she (he?) was being cagey about it.

One bird emerged from the trees above and landed around him. He'd named his birds Yi, Ro, and Ha after the first three characters in the old Japanese alphabetical-order poem. Ro was the only one who'd heeded the call, though. It looked like their father at home had needed the rest of the flock for something. Ro was an oddity, the only demon they'd ever seen wield a weapon. He used a huge leek to strike and defeat his targets. Ichiro sometimes joked that "Ro" was short for "Ronin," as Ro often exhibited the attitude of a wandering samurai.

The two brothers dealt with their demons as they emerged from the trees: scratches behind ears, pats on heads, the slicing and distribution of a peach. Once everyone was settled down, Saburo got to business.

"The daimyo told me that there might be a demon in the northern territories. Probably more than one, too. He mentioned at least two elements: fire and water. That's going to be difficult for us because many of us rely on the fire element as well."

Kou nodded mournfully, thinking back to the last time he'd faced a demon that used the water element. He'd steamed for hours afterward and been barely able to move. Fighting fire with fire was less dangerous, but not very effective.

"So, what do you think?" Ichiro speculated. "We can use our usual plan: the pack flushes out the demons and Ro can do most of the fighting."

"That sounds like a good plan as always," his brother agreed, "but we don't know anything about these demons yet. We don't even know how many there are. I think maybe we should wait until we get there and do a little investigating before we really decide."

"Off we go, then," Ichiro decided. "Ro, did you bring our sacks from home?"

"Kamooo!" The leek-wielding demon presented them with two bags full of the supplies the two brothers relied on when they were out wandering the land with their demons.

"Water's fresh, pickled fish is tightly wrapped... excellent," Saburo muttered, peering into his sack.

"Let's hurry up and make the Kisoji before the sun sets. We might even be able to hitch a ride," Ichiro said. With that, they set off through the trees.

It was late afternoon when they came upon the Kisoji highway. Their daimyo preferred to have his castle a few hours' journey away from the main road for defensive purposes. Warring States-era Japan was a dangerous place for a small, neutral feudal domain, and the daimyo did his best to escape the attention of his neighbors.

Saburo smiled to see that there were still a few travelers on the road who hadn't stopped at a roadside inn for the night. Though there weren't any large wagons they could ask to ride, there happened to be an old white-haired monk riding a demon. This demon had the form of a white horse covered with flames. The monk sat in the midst of them with an air of unperturbable calm, the demon having been considerate enough to quench the flames on its back around where he was sitting. Saburo was happy to see him— it was always pleasant to meet another demon-tamer.

The monk caught sight of them and his bushy white eyebrows rose to see three demons following behind the two brothers.

Saburo and Ichiro bowed deeply to the monk. Their demons behind them followed suit, having been sufficiently trained in human social standards.

The monk returned the bow with a smile. "I see that you live alongside the demons as well."

"We work as hunters for our daimyo," Ichiro said. "He has sent us on an errand, and we must travel along this highway for a while. Would you allow us to keep you company as we proceed?"

The monk smiled wider. "Of course. You must be the first demon-tamers I've met on this road. If I may ask... how do you treat them?"

They spent the next few hours in quiet but animated discussion of proper demon care. The two brothers shared their grooming techniques with the monk, who in return described how to regulate fire demons' flames. He also regaled them with stories about his temple a day's journey up the road. He had much to say about his demon-horse, Umako, and her jumping prowess. An acolyte had apparently taken her for a ride the month before and made an amazing leap that had cleared the entire temple complex. The monk had also heard many rumors of how demon-tamers in other provinces pursued their craft. Some demon-tamers to the west could store their demons in containers made from hard-shelled fruits the size of a man's fist.

"But how do they fit the demons in such a small space?" Saburo asked. "We've only seen a few kinds of them, but we know that they can grow quite large!"

The monk could only shrug. "It is probably more of the special magic that seems to surround the demons of this land."

Demon magic. The brothers and their demons nodded. They knew from long experience: it could do almost anything.

They came upon an inn as the sun set. Although the old monk offered to pay for their lodgings as thanks for the afternoon's enjoyable conversation, they had to respectfully decline. Leaving their three demons overnight in a public area was only asking for trouble. The two brothers bedded down with them instead in a small shed next to the stables, the monk's demon-horse keeping them company and warming the shed with her flames.

With some more help from Umako, they managed to unpack and heat their dinners. The two brothers fell asleep surrounded by the four demons.

As the sun rose the next morning, the old man came by the stable to pick up his steed.

"By the way, may I ask you what your daimyo has sent you to do?" he asked the brothers as he carefully groomed Umako's fiery mane.

Ichiro explained. "The daimyo says strange things have been happening in the north of his domain. He thinks wild demons are causing the problems, so he's sending us demon-tamers to deal with them."

The monk blinked. "Fire, snow, winds, and missing priests?"

Ichiro and Saburo stared at him in surprise. "You know about this?" Ichiro finally asked.

"As it happens, those missing priests learned their rituals at our temple," the monk told them. "I have been sent to find them for the same reason as you— I tame demons."

Umako nuzzled at his arm until he gave her an apple. "They do like to remind me that taming them means feeding them," he added, smiling wryly.

The two brothers could only agree. They'd already spent half an hour before dawn foraging for berries to feed their own complaining demons.

"Well..." the monk said, "would you like to travel together? We are investigating the same incident, after all."

"Oh, no, we couldn't," Ichiro said hastily. "We are not honorable enough to travel with a monk."

The monk waved them off. "Even if we part ways, we will still meet each other again at the destination. Also, you say you lack honor because of your demons. I have a demon as well! Therefore, this is not a problem."

That, Saburo mused, was what came of getting an education. You could win any argument. Against him and Ichiro, neither of whom could actually read, the monk could probably always get his way.

"If you say so," Ichiro told the monk. "If we're traveling together, we should probably leave now if we want to get to the northern forest before sunset."

"Only two days' journey from the castle," the monk remarked. "Our lord's domain truly is small."

The party of three set out along the Kisoji once again, turning onto a side road before the morning was half over. The fief they were aiming for was up in the mountains where the highway didn't reach. With the weakest of them on a strong and fast mount, they made good time.

They were deep in a conversation about cooking berries for demon consumption when Saburo spotted something on the road. A zigzag paper streamer had been attached to a tree beside the road by a four-pointed object.

"Shuriken," Ichiro muttered. "There's a ninja around here."

Saburo had a sudden suspicion. He nodded to Otsu, who went up to sniff at the throwing-star— then turned and growled at the monk. His sensitive nose had found a match.

"I guess it's right what they say," Saburo said warily. "Ninja love to dress as monks. ...you never gave us your name, either, did you?"

He, his brother, and their three demons gave the monk a long, hard look. Ro whipped out his leek-sword and held it ready. Otsu's fur bristled, while eldritch flames formed around Kou's head.

"All right, you've got me," the monk admitted. "I don't know who stole that shuriken and stuck it in the tree, but thanks to that you've guessed what I am. It's an open secret among the nobility that my temple harbors a clan of ninja... of which I am one. I'm not on a contract right now, so the abbot sent me to investigate the forest incidents and see if I could do anything about them. If I succeed, I can take credit before your daimyo and receive both goodwill. However, I will probably also be paid!"

"How can we trust you now, though?" Ichiro asked. "You've been fooling us."

"You never asked me if I was a ninja," the ninja said reasonably. "Also, now that I've been uncovered there's little else in my favor. I may be shinobi, but I am still a white-haired old man, after all. My main strength comes from my demons, and you outnumber them. Can't we put this behind us and stay together? We are after the same goal, after all, and I have honestly been enjoying the conversation we've been having. If we defeat the demons of the forest, we will be reporting to the same man as well."

Here was the dark side of persuasiveness. Ichiro and Saburo didn't feel like they should trust any ninja, but he was being quite reasonable.

"I guess there's no reason to kick you out," Ichiro decided, "so long as you promise to come back with us to our lord when we're done."

The ninja nodded. "It is only natural that I would do that. I'm glad we could come to an agreement."

"Wait a moment," Saburo said. "You said 'demons.' Do you have more than one? Where are the rest of them?"

"I have more than one demon, yes," the ninja said. "Of course, you haven't seen the others; ninja are masters of concealment, and thus so are their demons when they choose to tame them. If they are needed in the course of our mission, I will reveal them."

"You still haven't told us your name, either," Saburo accused him.

"Observant," the ninja muttered. "You know, I must keep some secrets. You can call me Tarou."

Ichiro rolled his eyes. "Half the men in the country are named Tarou!"

The old man grinned unrepentantly. "Exactly."

The confrontation thus defused, they continued down the side road, the mountains rearing up to their left and right. Conversation was a lot more subdued after that.

"I do wonder where that shide paper streamer came from, though," Tarou said after a while. "There's no shrine near here that I know of where they'd use those."

"I think I know," Saburo said with a smile. "Did you smell it, Otsu?"

"Po...pochi!" The grey hound-demon bounced up and down excitedly.

"It's her?" Ichiro asked.

"Otsu's nose says so," Saburo told him.

"Who's she?" Tarou asked.

"The great mountain spirit," Ichiro said sarcastically.

"We've going to keep a secret or two of our own. Just to be fair," Saburo added.

Tarou shrugged. "Can't argue there."

Contrary to Ichiro's prediction, they reached Ougami's fief by mid-afternoon. On Tarou's advice, the party stopped by the samurai's house first in order to find out the latest news.

Ougami was still at the daimyo's castle where he'd briefed Saburo, so they went straight to the person who would know everything: Ougami's wife. A pretty but tired-looking woman, she was of the sort that was wealthy but had had to work hard for their wealth. Recent events had made the work harder.

Tarou had spent enough years as a monk to know how to behave around the gentry. He had the demons left outside the manor walls and took the two brothers with him. The three of them knelt before Ougami's wife and her retainers, Tarou in the front. They bowed deeply, receiving a bow in return from their hostess.

Tarou took the lead. "Milady, our lord has sent his demon tamers Ichiro and Saburo to investigate the calamities that have befallen this district. I, as a fellow demon tamer, have chosen to accompany them. We ask that you inform us of the latest happenings here and direct us to where we may help the most."

The lady nodded. "Do you bring any word from Ougami or the daimyo himself?"

It was Ichiro's turn to bow. "Milady, your husband was present when the daimyo explained the mission to my brother. He also gave us this."

He handed over the daimyo's scroll. Unlike the demon-taming brothers, Ougami's wife could read. She scanned it over quickly, noting the instructions and the name-seals of her husband and the daimyo. She nodded again.

"Excellent; this document is in order." She handed it back to Tarou. "A few additional disasters have taken place since Ougami left for the daimyo's castle. There was a landslide and a sudden hailstorm, I believe. A farmer also found the body of one of the priests. I am told there were numerous small cuts on his skin, and that he had died by his life energy being sucked out of him, leaving him a dried husk."

She shuddered and paled, but managed to compose herself. "Most of these events took place in the woods west of a small disused shrine. Understandably, nobody has gone by that area in the past few days."

Ichiro straightened up. "Milady, can I ask a question?"

She nodded. "Ask."

"Are there legends of demons here? People might tell old stories about one who is living in the forest. Perhaps it is causing these problems."

The lady frowned. "Most of us or our ancestors moved to this district after a battle here fifty years ago. I believe one of the old original residents told stories about a great fiery demon who walked among the trees."

Ichiro smiled. "Thank you, milady. That's what I was looking for."

She bowed. "Please save our district. You may be the only ones that can help."

"We will do all we can, milady," Tarou said as the three of them bowed back. "All we can."

They were back on the road in ten minutes. The three demon-tamers had unanimously agreed to stay the night in the woods. Four demons could protect three humans without difficulty, and strong noses or keen eyes might notice what human senses would miss.

"So, what do you think?" Tarou asked. "You got her to mention a fire-demon. Is that all we're likely to see? That's not what I think."

"Oh, definitely not," Ichiro agreed. "Rain, cutting winds, landslides, and hailstorms... I don't think just one fire-demon could do all of that. We must be dealing with a group of them, where each of them has a different kind of magic."

"We've seen ice-controlling demons before," Saburo added. "Some of them passed through last winter. Kou spit some of his fire at them. Drove them right off."

"'When facing a group of enemies with diverse skills, endeavor to have ready diverse skills of your own,'" Tarou quoted at them. "My teacher said that once. We have a fairly diverse set here: hound-demons, a bird-demon swordsman, and my dear horse-demon. Two of them can command fire, but fire alone may not be enough. I say we should seek out any local demon-tamers and see if they have any abilities to complement ours."

There were none in the village. A discreet inquiry with one of the manor guards revealed that there were none at all in this part of the feudal domain.

"This place was settled only during the past generation," he told them. "None of the settlers were demon-tamers, so we haven't gained the knowledge. Goodness knows there's any number of demons out in the woods, but nobody here knows how to make nice with them."

"I see," Tarou answered. "We'll do our best without reinforcements, then."

They went back on the road. The three of them decided to stay in the area where the most activity had been reported: a wooded valley between two of the larger mountains in the area.

"I think we should stay here," Tarou decided when they came upon a roadside shrine, probably the one the lady had mentioned. It was one of the really small ones, scarcely more than a shed enclosing a small statue of a woman. It was clear that no one had been by to make any offerings in a long time. Tarou pulled a few sticks of incense out of his robes and placed them in the jar of sand provided, then lit them and started to chant softly.

"Otsu, why don't you go and have a good nose around?" Saburo asked.

The little gray demon barked and put his nose to the ground. He snuffled around the base of the shrine, walking all the way around, then looked up at his master.

"All right, time for questions. Have other demons been here recently?"

Otsu nodded. "Pochi!"

"Any fire-demons?"

Otsu led him around the back of the shrine and pawed at a scorch mark on the wall.

"This was recent?"

"Pochi!"

"It happened less than a week ago?"

"Pochi."

"How about other demons? Were there any with the fire-demon? Count off."

Otsu started yapping. Saburo counted the number of them on his fingers. "...six, seven, eight. Eight?!"

Otsu yapped some more. "At least?" Saburo said incredulously.

He sat down hard against the wall. "It's a good thing that ninja decided to tag along. More than eight demons... this is going to be a nasty fight if things go bad. Do you think you're up to it?"

Otsu's ears drooped. "Pochi..."

Saburo scratched him behind the ears. "I'm not sure either."

They made camp next to the little shrine. This time, despite the available abilities of the demons with them, they didn't make a fire. Their objective was to observe, not to be observed. Demons and humans alike stood watch throughout the night, searching out their targets with eyes, ears, and noses.

They didn't find anything. The woods were quiet.

In the morning, a slightly dispirited group gathered behind the shrine.

"You're sure you didn't see anything?" Tarou asked.

Saburo turned to his group. "Boys?"

They shook their heads.

"Negigi," Ro added.

Tarou sighed. "Well, I guess we should head on up the road, then. I'll bet there's a path that leads up the mountainside. We should take it and get up into the trees."

He remembered something. "Ah, wait. Let me just pray at the shrine before we go."

The old ninja ambled over to the front and froze.

"...oh."

His face paled dramatically and he muttered out of the side of his mouth, "Come... come here."

When the others saw what was in the shrine, they were lost for words as well.

A great golden-furred fox with nine tails was perched atop the sacred statue's head. Eerie bluish flames seemed to dance around and behind it.

It was looking at them with quiet interest, tails lazily waving about. Apparently it felt it outclassed them to the point where there was no need for caution.

Ichiro started to count on his fingers, then turned and looked at his brother, eyes wide. "Nine tails; it's... it's a great demon fox. You told me they were only legends!"

"I thought they were! I've only ever heard the stories," Saburo protested.

The fox yipped softly, grabbing their attention. It leapt down from the statue and stood up on its hind legs. It was almost as tall as Ichiro.

It began to shimmer, and suddenly disappeared. In its place was an elegant-looking woman in elaborate dress. She had the layered multicolored kimono and long hair of a noblewoman. That hair, for some reason, was the same golden color as her fur had been. That definitively marked her as supernatural- any Japanese human would have had black hair.

"Fox illusions!" Saburo murmured in awe.

"You speak of me as though I cannot reply," the fox-woman chided them. "Were I in a worse mood, I would be highly offended."

Tarou was on his knees immediately, motioning the two brothers to do the same. Antagonizing powerful demons was a bad idea. "I apologize. We have never before met a demon of your type and ability."

"We do have a question for you, though," Ichiro added.

"You wish to know who I am and what part I play in the recent disturbances here," the fox-woman said with a smile.

"That's... yes, that's what I was going to say," Ichiro said in some surprise.

"As for who I am, that is easy to answer. Look at the shrine, and then at me."

The small statue in the shrine was an exact match in appearance to the fox-woman.

"I have lived in and guarded this forest in the mountains for centuries," she told them. "The old inhabitants knew me for what I was and respected me. I, in turn, protected their forests and their fields. The ones who came in the past generation of humans do not know me. I am not concerned about that; it can be tiresome to be worshiped when I am not actually divine. You already have your fox-goddess Inari; there is no need to involve me. However, a problem has arisen in the past few weeks... two tree-demons have come out of the north to challenge my power, wanting the woods I hold for their own. One wields the powers of biting winds and hypnotic music. The other is always covered in snow; it brings storms of ice and cold. They brought a small army of weaker demons with them. Normally, I would have driven them away with the flames I command. However, just this year... I had children."

The humans blinked.

"Four children. Kits, as you would call them. It is the first time that I have raised children for many years. For their sake, I cannot fight as hard and recklessly as I normally would. I am only standing my ground now. Other weaker demons that live here have also become involved against the invaders' subordinates, and ecause of this, many different kinds of disaster have occurred."

"I see," Tarou said. "However, would you happen to know where some priests have gone? We have come both to investigate the disasters and to find them."

The fox-woman cast her eyes downward. "The invaders do not regard humanity as fondly as I do. They seized the priests and attempted to use them as hostages. When I refused to yield... the priests were killed. They were honorable enough to allow me to bury the bodies."

"It could not be helped, I suppose," Tarou said sadly. "Would you accept our assistance in driving off these invaders, spirit of the forest?"

The fox-woman brightened up. "Indeed I would. Seeing you humans and demons working together was the very reason why I came to meet you at this shrine. Do you have the sanction of human authorities?"

"These two were dispatched by the lord of this domain for this purpose," Tarou said. "I have chosen to travel with them. We have written credentials if you would like to read them."

She quirked an eyebrow. "Demons cannot read. However, your word is good enough. Let us go."

The fox-woman reverted to nine-tailed form and, looking over its shoulder for a moment, led them up into the trees, its tails streaming behind it.

They hiked for nearly half an hour, going around trees and fording the occasional stream. The trees seemed to grow taller and wilder as they went on. Umako was having a particularly hard time getting around.

When they reached a clearing of particularly gnarled trees, the forest spirit called a halt.

Returning to humanoid form, she gestured at the trees around them. "See here. With their mastery over trees, these two demons have started to warp the forest. It will become the perfect place for them to live, while in the meantime the rest of us are driven out, including the humans. For the sake of my children and the residents of this district, they must be stopped. Tell me, do you have command over any elements?"

"One of mine specializes in fire," Saburo said.

"As does my mount," Tarou added.

The fox-woman grinned. Saburo noticed that her canines were still rather long and pointy. "Excellent. As I have found by long experience, fire burns trees, and tree-demons, with great effectiveness. I was fortunate to find you. Make ready, now. Our enemies will arrive soon."

"How do you know that?" Ichiro asked.

She gestured at a tree. It caught fire.

"...oh."

A biting wind sprung up, rustling the leaves in the trees around them. The pure menace behind that hissing noise raised hackles and goosebumps alike. A few snowflakes started to fall from the sky.

"They come," the fox-woman said simply.

The wind picked up speed. Leaves and small twigs were torn off the trees and pelted them in the face. The wind and snow concentrated around the burning tree in particular, quickly putting it out. The plume of smoke, however, still hung in the air.

"What other demonic allies remain to me shall act on this signal," she told them. "I have told them to distract and hold off the tree-demons' minions. Upon the invaders' defeat, they shall most likely disband. Meanwhile, we shall handle the two tree-demons by ourselves."

It wasn't long before that time came. Two dark figures appeared out of the unseasonably early snowfall, their footfalls causing the entire forest to tremble.

One was a roughly humanoid tree spirit with long white hair, a pointed nose, and leaves for fingers. Feet shaped like sandals were covered in the same bark-like surface that made up its skin. A strange whistling sound came from its mouth, causing the humans and demons to fight off a strange sleepy feeling.

The other, surrounded in a perpetual cloud of frost, looked like nothing more than a tree with arms. The snow cover above its eyes was thick enough to resemble a three-pointed hat. Its tail and stubby fingers were green but not leaf-like.

The two of them hissed menacingly as the wind howled.

"They have come for battle," the fox-woman translated, then returned to fox form.

Five demons against two— Ichiro hoped the odds were even.

The fox-demon was the first to act. She spit out a blast of fire that split into five streams and washed over the two tree-demons. To Saburo it looked as though that fire could consume anything.

The two enemies, however, were not consumed as they were no longer there. The fox-demon had taken long enough to prepare its attack that they had noticed and dodged out of the way.

Saburo took control. "Otsu, pin down the snowy one! Kou, flame it!"

Otsu charged up at the snow-covered demon, growling madly. It backed up against a tree for a moment, which was enough time for Kou to spit flames at it.

Great clouds of steam shot up as the tree-demon writhed in agony, its snowy covering half-melted.

Umako was about to flame the other tree-demon on her master's orders when her target took action.

A biting, slicing wind hurled all the fighters, snow-covered demon included, out of the clearing and into a snowdrift. Ichiro got to his feet to find that he was bleeding from small cuts on his cheek and arms. Saburo had similar injuries.

Tarou, however, had fared the worst. Though he had gotten out a throwing-knife and assumed a combat stance, his skills as a ninja were diminished by his advanced age and numerous shallow cuts on his forearms and legs. He was breathing and bleeding heavily.

Ro got in front of him unprompted and held his leek ready as well.

Ichiro decided to go with that. "All right, Ro, stay there! We humans are going to group together so you can cover us all at once!"

He and Saburo hurried to join Tarou, slogging through the snow.

They were now out of the clearing and in the trees. The fox-demon had gotten a grip on the disoriented snow-covered demon while everyone was distracted and was now breathing white-hot flames in its face. Saburo winced as he heard the incongruously cheery crackle of burning wood.

Another burst of powerful wind hurled the fox-demon off her prey. Ichiro managed to catch her by the forepaws as she was flung through the air. Her quarry, now charred mostly black, stumbled off into the trees, keening in terror. The snowfall suddenly stopped. A few of the trees around them had also burst into fire from the sheer heat of the fox-demon's attack.

Ichiro gingerly set her on the ground. "Rest a moment. We'll try to fight it."

Saburo and Tarou ordered their demons forward.

Kou collapsed halfway to his target. In order to free its comrade, the tree-demon had aimed the brunt of the wind attack at him. Saburo wanted to go forward and retrieve his bleeding friend, but that would expose him to danger.

That left two demons charging at their enemy as the fox-demon tried to recover.

At such close range, the tree-demon wasn't able to summon winds. Instead, it swatted Otsu out of the air with its leafy hands. This, however, left it open for Umako's attack. Instead of summoning fire, though, she merely rode him down and trampled him a few times. Her hooves were apparently quite hard; the sharp cracks of splintering wood were easily heard. The tree-demon threw her off after a few seconds of this punishment, causing her to land hard on her side. She whinnied plaintively.

The tree-demon was about to follow up with another attack when a shuriken buried itself in its forehead. Its eyes crossed in pain.

"Hands off my girl," Tarou said in satisfaction.

"Bite him hard!" Saburo shouted, seeing that his demon had recovered.

Otsu did his best, latching on to the tree-demon's nose. There was a loud crack as it bent out of shape. The tree-demon howled and cast him away as well, then stalked toward the humans.

Several trees were on fire now, casting flames and smoke up into the air. The flickering red light made the tree-demon look even more diabolical than it had before.

Ro placed himself firmly in the tree-demon's path and held his leek in a combat stance. The two demons sized each other up, and the tree-demon charged. With a mighty swing, Ro smashed it aside, protecting the humans. The tree-demon's leg shot out in mid-air, however, catching Ro in the head and hurling into another snowdrift.

The tree-demon got back up and kept stalking towards the humans, an evil gleam in its eyes. Another shuriken flew at it, cutting off half of its hair, but it ignored the attack. Something else, however, brought it to a halt a moment later.

Kou had managed to get a grip on one of the tree-demon's legs. He whined as it kicked him in the head with the other leg.

Before Saburo could do anything, the fox-demon came forward and stared the tree-demon in the eyes. Her adversary suddenly realized that it was immobilized and in the path of a fire-breather.

The fox-demon exhaled another blast of fire, this one washing over the face of her target as intended. It screamed, wildly kicking up howling winds with its beating arms. These only served to increase the flames now that the snow had stopped falling. Within a few seconds, the flailing tree-demon had whipped up a firestorm. Ichiro and the others cowered as flames whirled on the battlefield just in front of them.

The tree-demon continued to burn in agony until the hold on its leg was suddenly released. Kou staggered away, trying to escape the flames. Now free, the tree-demon floundered into a snowdrift, throwing up great clouds of steam as it extinguished its burning body.

Pulling itself back to its feet, it glared blearily at the fox-demon.

The fox-demon glared back and prepared to flame it again.

There was a moment where nothing moved but dancing flames and flying leaves.

The tree-demon abruptly gave a grudging bow and stalked away in an obvious admission of defeat.

The fox-demon assumed human form and sat down hard. "It shall not return," she wheezed. "I believe we have won."

"We've lost quite a bit too, though," Tarou pointed out. The trees in front of them were blazing brightly by now.

The fox-woman stared in mute horror, finally noticing that her forest was on fire.

"Can we put this out?" Saburo asked. "It seems really—" he paused to cough. "This smoke..."

"I know a few water-demons in this forest," the fox-woman said faintly. "However, I don't think they would be powerful enough to extinguish a fire this big."

"And now we have to go," Tarou said, stifling a cough himself. "The trees behind us haven't caught fire yet, so we need to escape before they do. I hope your allies get out of this forest alive as well."

They trudged down the mountain dispiritedly, abandoning the fire as a lost cause. The sky glowed red behind them and ash fell from the air all around. They were thankful that at least the smoke hadn't followed them down yet. The fox-woman led them toward the samurai's manor and relative safety. From time to time they came across small groups of other demons, some bearing the form of plants, others those of insects. The fox-woman directed them to evacuate as well.

"I'm sorry you lost your forest," Saburo eventually said, breaking the awkward silence. "We should've been more careful with the fire."

"It was my fault," the fox-woman said. "I conjured too much flame and failed to stop it when the wind picked up. The lesser demons of this forest should ensure that the trees grow back within a few years, though. Without them, it could take an entire human generation."

She paused as they passed a fallen tree. "We must pause here. My children..."

A little red-furred head peeped out of a hollow at the bottom of the tree. "Kon?"

"We have to go now," the fox-woman said gently. "The forest is on fire."

The little fox squeaked in fear.

"Don't worry, I'm with you. So long as you're with your mother, you're safe." She held out her arms and the little fox jumped into them. Saburo noticed that it only had two tails.

Three more kits came out, each of them also only two-tailed. Ichiro and Tarou took one each. Saburo, however, was already carrying Kou, who was too injured to walk quickly. After some consideration, Tarou lifted the last kit and placed it on Umako's back between his knees.

"We are returning to human civilization," Tarou said. "It's anyone's guess whether the daimyo will be pleased with the way we solved this problem, but we have to go to him nonetheless. Where would you like us to take you and your children?"

"I don't know," the fox-woman sighed. "The other forests nearby are already watched over by powerful demons like me. They will accept the smaller demons, but not me. I may have to find a cave in the mountains."

"Say, here's an idea," Ichiro said. "You could stay with my family. Our house is large enough to hold you and your children without anyone seeing you. You could disguise yourself as one of the family when you need to go out."

"To live among humans..." the fox-woman said. "I'm not sure if that is a good idea."

"You could leave whenever you wanted," Saburo pointed out. "Whenever the trees grow back, maybe. You wouldn't be the only demon there, either. Our family already lives with plenty of them. It's our way of life."

"Deru deru," Kou added weakly, lifting his head from Saburo's arms.

"I must consider this," the fox-woman said. "Give me until we leave the forest."

"If you say so," Saburo said.

Each of them had their fates to consider. Would Ichiro and Saburo be disgraced before their lord? Would Tarou get paid? Would the fox-demon and her children find safety with the humans?

They walked on, fire at their backs, and thought of the future.

 

claimed, i've pretty much given up on my SWC, so back to grading for now

EDIT: Expect a Grade by the End of the Day

 

Hey there Taras. I'm gonna try a new grading format, though it'll look a lot like how I used to grade. Don't be fooled! Blah.

Intro:
My first impressions of the story on a whole.

Some quick advice: When you put spoilers in the beginning of the story, and you also say "Don't look until after you read the story first!", it makes people want to look. I suggest putting it at the very end, so that it reduces that chances of people "accidentally" looking at it. Though, I believe that the story made much more sense when you provided the setting. The beginning of the story itself didn't lend itself to a well enough setting for a reader to understand what was going on. See, it might be a Pokemon Story, but when you don't say Pokemon at all, it makes a reader confused.

Think of it like this: when you look at a new book in the book store, do you just open the book and start reading? Well I don't. People tend to read the synopsis on the back of the book. It helps place the reader's mind into a proper state for reading the story. Now, on the URPG, people assume that the synopsis is that something general like: Trainers will capture a Pokemon or do something with a Pokemon. So when it comes to a story like this, a synopsis wouldn't hurt.

I do applaud you for creating a Pokemon story without the word "Pokemon" or the different species names. And now, for the finer points of the story:


Plot/Reality:
What stuck out in my mind as I was reading as unusual.

The only trouble I had with the plot was the whole: "the monk is actually a ninja, but it really didn't matter, because he'll help us anyways." It didn't seem to affect the story that much beside wavering the trust between the group. The only time that it really mattered in the story was when the old man pulled out a throwing knife.

I did catch that the shuriken helped lead them to the shrine, and that it was the demon-fox that drew them near. Though, it felt forced, especially when the monk said: "I don't know who stole that shuriken and stuck it in the tree." It made me think that he just had shuriken laying around. He didn't pull them out during the battle, as that would have helped the case.

But besides that one detail, everything else was solid. The flow in reading the story wasn't garbled (except the above part), and the story felt like a fabled tale from the past.

Details:
What kind of picture did you paint with your words

While you greatly described the demons when they first appeared, I would suggest slipping in more details whenever you refer to one later in the story. Since you use uncommon names, it makes it harder for the reader to process who is who, especially after a few pages when they just travel and talk. You don't need to change the names; that is not the issue. For example, when Otsu sniffs the shuriken, I forgot if he was the Houndour/Houndoom or the Poochyena. After reading about 15 more paragraphs later, I realized that it was the Poochyena, as it said "Pochi" and you described it as the grey hound-demon. So if you just include more details while referring to something/someone that hadn't been mentioned in a couple pages, it would greatly help the reader figure out who/what is who/what.

Oh, one thing in the beginning is that the character thought that it was a fire demon and a water demon based on the fact that there were fires and blizzards. So, wouldn't it be fire and ice? Though, I could understand if they associated water and ice as the same, even though ice is weak to fire.

Lastly on this section, there is a part in your story where you say: "Umako was having a particularly hard time getting around." "But why" I found myself asking. I had to figure out which Pokemon it was first, and then I still didn't know why. If you included more details on what the problem was, like gripping her hooves on dead tree roots, then you could remind the viewers who Umako was and paint a clear picture of what you want them to see.

Grammar:
What you're high school english teacher would point out.

You seem to have a large vocabulary, very SATs prepped big. However, understand that the reader might not know what "unrepentantly" or "plaintively" mean. A diverse word choice is appreciated, but not needed. However, you only pulled words like these out a few times, so don't worry.

Another thing I noticed was gender pronouns. You give genders to each demon except the two at the end. However, I catch times where you slip an "it" when describing Ninetales after you already stated that she was a "she." Just watch out.

A more nit-picky problem I had was: "Milord" and "Milady." Spelled this way is apparently British contraction used in the 19th Century in England. Since this Japan's Sengoku, I would believe that "M'lord" and "M'lady" would be closer, as it is the usual contraction seen on paper. Again, this is very nit-picky, but I felt that it needed to be mentioned.

Three more nit-picks:

"that covered with" is one of those mistakes you catch when you're reading the story out loud. It should be "that was covered" as in by or with something. "that covered" suggest that the clay flute was covering something, while "cover with" suggest the clay flute was covered by something, which is why the "was" is necessary to make sense of the sentence.

It felt strange saying this sentence out loud, so I guess you meant: "remain loyal to me."

Lastly:

This made it seem like they had already settled down for the night, which why I was confused when you started to talk about a guard that they were talking to. Since there is 4 paragraphs separating the quote above and the mention of a villiage, it made it seem like they settled for the night, and then they woke up and asked around. If you included something after there discussion like "As we continued down the road looking for a place to settle for the night..." the time confusion would be absent.

Other than these troubles, your vocabulary was good, your paragraphing was spot on and your


Length:
The length of time it felt like to read this story.

Usually this section would sound like: "Min Characters Needed Reached," but I'm going to mention how it felt to read a story this long.

The flow was descent, though the names tripped me up, causing me to look back, which increased the amount of time to read the story. However, I found myself engrossed by the details and some of the mystery. I only had to put the story away twice to rest my brain (which is really good in my case). So Length Approved.

Personal Feelings:
Really? I have these?

To reiterate: great job on a "non-Pokemon" Pokemon story. The different Pokemon weren't too hard to discern, though I'm still not sure if it was a Houndour or a Houndoom. I enjoyed how you played upon the myths behind the inspiration of Ninetales, though, I was upset that they just left the forest on fire, but hey they didn't have any water-demons.

Conclusion:
One Liner Wrap Ups

Plot/Reality: Complex with a hint of ninja redundancy.
Details: Was that a Houndoom sniffing or a Houndour?
Grammar: It was diverse and well constructed that she slapped himself in its face.
Length: I'd take this on a four our flight and finish by the time the kid in the front started crying again.

Verdict:

Spoiler

Ninetales?

Spoiler

Ninetales will take her cubs to live with humans.



Just watch your pronouns and your details in the future. And I hope that you do create a series out of this.

​

 

Sweet!

Series it is. I'll ramp up on the details next time to help identify Pokemon without using their species names. That was a bit of a difficult constraint to work with, yes.