Cklorglovf [PG-13]

Cklorglovf
WARNING: This story contains the word ‘sex’ and variations of it, if you are uncomfortable about ‘sex’ or are uncomfortable in any way about it, I’d suggest you not read this until you grow up or grow a pair. Thank you.​

Fumes exhausted into the air; a green mist covered the swampy forest floor. Trees, tall and old, grew from the murky depths of the water. A large forest chirped, buzzed, and croaked with life. The heat from the sun beating down on the swamp was visible, distorting vision in shimmering waves as it bounced off of the ground. Gnats and swamp flies swarmed throughout the swamp as gators simmered in the warm waters. This was one of the many bayous in Louisiana.

A swift color of red and green buzzed by, dispersing water up in the air as a creature flew by quickly. A large dragonfly-like Pokémon hummed as it flapped its wings in the air. This Yanma was extremely large; it had burling muscles, a long tail, lengthy antennae, and wide wings that flapped at high speeds. This was a perfect mate in the large eyes of a female Yanma. It also was the perfect time to mate; mid July, a hot sun every day and nice spawning areas all around the swamp. This was Cklorglovf.

Cklorglovf was the time of year where an enormous swarm of Yanma would get together and mate. The male Yanma’s would create a pile of mud, sticks, and various plants from the surrounding swamp. He builds his pile at the edge of a small body of water where the mating would take place. Then they would cover themselves in mud, and leaves as to show off their gathering ability. The male Yanma's will then stand on top of their pile and do a ritual dance. This dance is very different from their colonizing dance and is not to be mistaken for. Then they show off their skills by flapping their wings to make supersonic waves, or jabbing the stingers on their tails in the air, or simply showing off their special powers; double team, foresight, air slash, et cetera. The females would fly around and look for a mate they deemed worthy enough to fertilize their egg sacks.They determined what males were perfect for them by how they smelled, their attack power, and how full of male fertilizing goo they were.

The females carry their egg sacks where ever they go by masticating grasses and leaves and spitting onto their belly to make a sticky substance. Then they would place the eggs on their bellies and continue with the chewing and spitting, coating the eggs making a sack to keep the eggs attached. The eggs were a pearl white, but the saliva was pea green; this made a green sack with white bulges on the stomach of the female Yanma.

The female Yanma will fly around for hours picking and choosing the best mate for her egg sack until she finds the perfect one. Unfortunately things don’t always work out that precisely. Some female Yanma take hours among hours searching for the best male Yanma, and when she finally chooses, another female Yanma might have already picked the one she wanted. When the female Yanma finally picks a mate the female strips off the egg sack and lays it in the small body of water the male Yanma had picked out. Then the male Yanma fertilizes the eggs in a quick, unemotional, wave of compulsions until the male is left tired and the female, a little more unsatisfied than she first perceived.

Both male and female Yanma leave after the fertilization then go fly off together in a swarm to an enormous tree in the swamp. They collect there and die together. The process of mating for Yanma kills them; for females when they rip the egg sacks off of their bellies, and the males they die when they leave behind the fertilized eggs. The female dies slowly from starvation and dehydration. She must constantly spit on her egg sack to keep it sticky, and always tend to it night and day. When the male finishes fertilizing, not only does he excrete the needed fertilizing goo, but he also leaves behind a vital organ that he cannot live without. It is a little like when a honey bee stings something it pulls its stinger out along with some very much needed organs and dies in a few hours to a day.

Then after winter passes and the early spring starts, the eggs hatch and the newly born Yanmas build up their strength for the next season of Cklorglovf. It is the Yanmas soul purpose to mate and pass on their genetic codes, otherwise their life is a failure and for a whole year they have to wait until Cklorglovf comes again.

A mediocre sized Yanma hovered along side a Croagunk as they journeyed through the swamp.
“And that’s why I have to go all this way to cover myself in mud and present myself so a decent female will mate with me.” The Yanma finished explaining everything to the Croagunk. The Croagunk looked shocked; wide-eyed and jaw gaping. They continued walking through the brush. The frog-like Pokémon shook his head as he tried to comfort his friend by saying, “Hey man, that’s life. Birth, sex, and death… I think.” The Yanma rubbed his worried head as she retorted,
“I’m not so sure, Grunk. I mean yea I’m a dragonfly species of Pokémon, and I know I’m just as full of mating goo as the next male Yanma, but the thing is I’m not…” he struggled to find a word that described his predicament, “I’m not… well-” just then a giant Yanma shot by. It was fast, but they still saw it; the Yanma was a male, obvious by its bulging muscles and extended tail. Its wings were flat and wide and they buzzed so fast that there was a slight sonic boom as it hummed by. “-well that, I’m not that. I wish I was because then getting a mate would be easy, all I would have to do is build a small pile of mud and twigs next to a tiny puddle, and roll around in it. Then I would be swarmed by tons of females.”
“I wish I was swarmed with females, huh Amnay?” Grunk said, adding in a small joke. It was humorous, but at the same time a little true. Both the lack luster guys sighed. They continued walking as Grunk fallowed Amnay and Amnay searched for a place to build his love pile.

 

Later On That Evening​

Amnay scurried around collecting mud, twigs, leaves, old nests from other Pokémon, weeds, and grasses and placed them next to a miniscule puddle. Simultaneously Amnay slathered himself with the mud and weeds and potentially tried to make himself appeasable for the other female Yanma’s. Grunk leaned against a tree and watched his friend hurry. He didn’t understand the life of a Yanma. Awkward silence stung the air and breathing became hard and shallow for Grunk. The weird silence continued.

Grunk swallowed a chunk of saliva as he decided to break the silence. “So, you basically… have sex… then die?” Amnay didn’t bother to stop his pursuit of the perfect love pile, but he did manage to let out a quick, “Yep.” Grunk rubbed his head again as he questioned, “Wow, tough life… so what happens if you don’t fine Mrs. Right?”
“Well I get to live another year until Cklorglovf comes again, but that year will be painstakingly embarrassing. Other younger Yanma’s will laugh and taunt me as I fly day in day out knowing I most likely won’t get a mate for the next Cklorglovf because they’re all looking for younger Yanma.” Amnay responded. He then dove into an area of mud and came out almost completely covered in it. “How do I look?” He asked as he turned toward Grunk. Grunk leaned in to take a close look at Amnay, but then caught a good whiff of him. He gagged as he said, “Woh, Amnay, man, you look like a Slaking shit you out… and you smell like it too. And jeez man, if you smell bad to a poison type Pokémon, you know you smell bad!”

“Perfect!” Amnay rejoiced. Amnay smiled gleefully and flew over to his pile. He molded it up and roosted on top of it. He then started to buzz his wings in an off beat and started kicking his six legs out in a random fashion. He turned as he did this and every once in a while he would wiggle his tail and body. Grunk looked upon his loveless friend as if he was watching a horror movie. He looked around to see if anyone was watching them, but luckily for him no one was. “What are you doing?” Grunk finally asked. Amnay continued with the somewhat-foreign dance as he answered, “The Cklorglovf dance to attract a mate.” Grunk shuttered at the thought of a mate with an egg sack waiting to be fertilized.
“So you can either have a long life without sex, or have sex and die. Wow, I do not like those odds. I’m glad I’m not a Yanma and a Croagunk. There aren’t any specific and… weird rituals I have to do to get some action. I just have to work the ladies you know?” Grunk said smugly. Amnay turned to him and stopped dancing. A couple female Yanma’s flew by not even noticing Amnay.
“You can… ‘Work the ladies’?” Amnay asked completely confused. He had never heard anything like that before or anything close to it. All he’s known for the past few months he’s been alive was that he had to survive the swamp’s natural predators, and now it was time for Cklorglovf and find a mate.

Grunk pushed off of the tree he was leaning on and walked over with swag in is gait. “Yea man. You just walk on up to the girl you want and you make her like you, you know- ease up on her, make feel important even if she’s not, make up some feelings and say you have them.” Amnay scoffed at him and continued his dance. A few more female Yanma’s passed by without a simple glance at Amnay. Amnay sighed from discouragement and stopped his dance. He flew up into the air and started speeding up the flapping of his wings. He created a sonic boom with them and hit a rock that cracked on impact. Amnay tried again, but only cracked it a little more. Now some female Yanma’s were watching him as they whispered to one another, giggling underneath their breath. Amnay tried again with another sonic boom and this time the rock exploded and was demolished. Amnay looked at the female Yanma’s with the biggest, cheesiest grin on his face. The female Yanma’s burst out laughing. They flew away as they talked to each other out loud, mocking Amnay. “Did you see that? It took him three tries to destroy that puny rock over there, hahaha!”
“Yea there’re other Yanma’s over there that can crumble a tree with one sonic boom, let’s go find them!” They flew away leaving behind the shell of a depressed Amnay.

Amnay’s saddened frown weighed him down as he glided back to his pile. Grunk walked over to console him as he said, “Hey man, don’t listen to them. Those other Yanma’s are just jerks on steroids.” Amnay’s face went from devastated to self-pitiful as he exclaimed, “Oh, Why didn’t I think of that! Steroids would make me beefier, and female Yanma’s love it when you’re a jerk! Did you see those other male Yanma's, they looked like wings and stingers with bodies attached ooohohoho…” Amnay buried his face in the pile as he cried out.

Just then a female Yanma flying on her own buzzed by and stopped by Amnay. “Amnay, is that really you?” Amnay looked up sharply and jumped into the air when he saw who it was.
“Edna-May, from HAF school?” The female Yanma fluttered over to him as she retorted, “Yes How to Annoy Fisherman school- I can’t believe it! It has been forever since I last saw you, how are your bothers and sisters?”
“Well most of them had been eaten by other predator Pokémon, you know.” Amnay answered. He was proud of himself for out-living his brothers and sisters. “And how about yourself?”
“Oh the usual; flying around trying to survive, spit-sack full of unfertilized eggs,” Edna-May rubbed her eggs on her belly as she continued, “, and trying so desperately hard to find a mate… you?” Amnay raised one of his flimsy arms up to his mouth to look more eloquent than he was as he lied, “I’m a rich and successful doctor, thank you very much for asking.” Grunk smacked his palm against his forehead when he heard the lie.

Edna-May looked unimpressed as he said, “Oh… most Yanma's don’t become a doctor becuase they plan on dying after Cklorglovf... so that’s a surprise; seeing you here looking for a mate, or so it seams?” Amnay realized that his lie took the opposite effect he wanted and tried to keep Edna-May there as he said, “Well yes! I... uh- oh I realized that the life of a ravishing doctor wasn’t good enough for me and I wanted to get rid of his great amount of fertilizing goo in me and thought a female Yanma’s egg sack might make a great place for me to dump it so I came here.” Edna-May nodded her head and looked away pretending to be interested in Amnay. “Well,” she said, “, this was nice, but I think I’m going to look for a mate over…” she looked past and far beyond Amnay, “… over there!” She pointed and smiled at Amnay as she flew away.

Amnay waved annoyingly and obnoxiously as she flew as fast as she could away from him. He sighed as she disappeared from his line of vision and he turned to face Grunk. Grunk shook his head with his hands in his face. Amnay broke down again as he said, “Oh, what have I done?! I let her get away! Edna-May was perfect for me; she was there and had an egg sack just asking to be fertilized.”
“Man you know what you should do?” Grunk said as he raised his head from his hands. “What?” Amnay responded. Grunk looked at him sternly as he said, “You should talk to her.”
“What do you mean, talk to her?” Amnay asked as he sniffled and nudged off a fake tear from his face. “Well, for starters you could complement her on how she looks, maybe buy her something nice, or accidently ‘bump’ into her, make her fall in love with you, ya know?” Grunk said. Amnay looked puzzled as he questioned again, “’Love’, what’s that?”
“You don’t know what ‘love’ is?” Grunk asked. He was as serious as he was ever going to get. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He took his pinky finger and twisted it into on ear hole, then the other ear hole as to clean them out, pretending like they were dirty and he didn’t hear Amnay right. “So let me get this straight. You’re entire life is based off of sex and you don’t even know what love is?”

“The mates get together and the male Yanma fertilizes the female Yanma’s eggs. There is nothing else involved in this act. Just the fertilizing, and then we all swarm into the big tree and die there where the Fearows and the Ekans can feast on out decaying bodies.” Amnay said as if that was completely normal. Grunk looked at him wide-eyed and scoffed. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Well, first off, love is an emotion that girls made up so it's harder for us guys to get in them. But now there's only one thing to do,” Grunk said as he brushed his shoulders, “, we got to make you a ladies man so Edna-May will fall in love with you. I’ll help you any way I can…” Amnay smiled blissfully as Grunk scratched his chin. Grunk looked up as thought to himself out loud, “… and I think I know exactly how to do it too.”

 

The Next Evening​

Amnay and Grunk walked together in the starry evening. The clear sky above them set a romantic mood in a very unromantic time of year. They reached a tree with a circular nest made of branches rested on top of. There was a light coming from the nest as they approached it and halted. Amnay had a small hat made of leaves and small twigs that resembled a 1920 style zoot suit hat. He held a small gathering of swamp flowers; they weren’t even that pretty being swamp flowers. Grunk lowered onto his knees and hid behind an oversized leaf. As he got down he whispered to Amnay, “I’ll just tell you what to do from here. Now get her attention.” Amnay picked up a bullfrog and chucked it at the bristly nest. They frog hit with a splat as it croaked. Edna-May leaned over the edge and peered down. She caught sight of Amnay as she said, “Amnay? Was that you who threw a bullfrog at my nest?”
“Uh…” Amnay stuttered. Grunk wasted no time, he quickly whispered, “Yes!” and Amnay parroted, “Yes, uh... it was me.”

“Well what are you doing here I denied your request to mate, your mating display failed, what are you doing here?” Edna-May said. She was terribly confused, regular Yanma’s give up on a mate after being rejected like this. Amnay blurted out what came to his mind first, “I don’t know!”
“Shhh! Yes you do!” Grunk hissed at him. “You just want to talk; it has nothing to do with mating.” Amnay looked back up at Edna-May as he repeated Grunk. “I just want to talk; it has nothing to do with mating…” Amnay looked back at Grunk as he said with a raised eyebrow, “Grunk that doesn't makes any since.”
“Amnay that doesn't makes any since, but okay.” Edna-May retorted ditzfully. She smiled as Grunk said, “Now say something nice to her; complement her weight.”
“Edna-May, you seam to have fattened up your egg sack with extreme weight, have you been processing your harmonic urges to eat constantly?” Amnay said. He looked worried as he felt alone in a situation like this before. He could only think why would she want to be asked these questions? Edna-May turned side-to-side posing and she replied, “Yes, yes I have, thank you for noticing.”

Grunk realized he was helping a lot and kept going with it. He whispered to Amnay, “Now ask her how her day was.”
“Why would I want to know that?” Amnay questioned. Grunk sighed as he waved his hand to get Amnay going as he said, “You don’t you don’t, ask her anyways.”
“How was your day?” Amnay questioned to Edna-May. He said it in the most facet voice possible, a dead giveaway that he didn’t care. Edna-May didn’t realize this and answered him, “Well first I woke up, then I had a piece of leave for breakfast, then I cleaned my teeth, then I flew over a grassy part of the swamp and collected more saliva for the egg sack, then I…”
“Grunk look what you did, she won’t shut up!” Amnay interrupted. Edna-May didn’t notice and kept going on with her story about her day. Grunk smiled and replied, “This is good, this is really good. Just nod your head and say, ‘uh-huh’.” Amnay shrugged a bit as he faced Edna-May again and did what Grunk told him to do. He nodded his head repeatedly and said, "Uh-huh…. Uh-huh… Uh-huh…”

“… and then you threw a bullfrog at my window.” Edna-May finished as she repositioned herself and said, “You know Amnay… when you talk to me like this your obvious abnormalities as a male Yanma seem a bit more… less obvious.” Grunk made a fist and pumped it in the air down to his side as he said to himself, “Score!” Amnay turned toward Grunk and asked, “Do I ask her to mate now?”
“No!” Grunk said waving his hands, “Third date, third date!”

Edna-May looked further down from her nest after Grunk spoke. She looked around as she said, “Wha- who else is down there, come on out!” Grunk, now exposed, stood from underneath the giant leaf. “Uh… hey Edna-May…” Grunk said, hesitant on what to say, “… so yea, uh Amnay is this really sweet guy, if you would just give him a chance you two could maybe-“
“So it was you who said all those wonderful things?” Edna-May interrupted. “Aw, Grunk, you wooed me into love!” Both Amnay and Grunk were shocked and said simultaneously, “What?” Amnay continued to speak, “But, honey, what about the eggs and the goo?” Gunk intervened and said, “Yea, Amnay has goo coming out of the wah-zoo!” Edna-May shrugged and said, “Well that is where it comes out from, but goo isn’t everything, I want love, emotion, companionship! Oh Grunk, I love you! Take me!” Edna-May flew down from her nest and landed on top of Grunk knocking him over trying to get a grip of his face with her mouth-pinchers. Grunk shoved her off as he stood back up astonished.

Amnay turned toward Grunk with rage as he said, “Grunk! I challenge you to, Cklorblachk!” Grunk stuttered as he said in panic, “What’s that?!”
“A fight to the death!” Amnay said as he raised his front legs and stinger in the air. Edna-May brushed up against Grunk as she said, “And if you survive, we’ll have hot sex!” She also raised her front legs and stinger. Grunk looked out horrified as she screamed into the swamp, echoing as it bounced off tree after tree.

The Next Late Afternoon​

Word had spread out about the Cklorblachk and a gathering of male and female Yanma’s huddled in trees and bushes around a circular battle zone. Amnay buzzed into the center as his fellow Yanma’s cheered for him. Grunk was pushed by other, bigger Yanma’s into the ring as Amnay glared at him. The crowd jeered and jostled as an older and very large Yanma spoke out to the crowd, “I, King Nanma, lord of the Yanma’s, declare that a Cklorblachk shall decide who gets to mate with the lovely Edna-May. While I, a lonely male Yanma full of mating goo sits and watches as Cklorglovf ends this evening.” Grunk raised his hand as he spoke, “Uh, what if we don’t want to mate with the lovely Edna-May?”
“Too bad,” King Nanma said, “, tradition is tradition, no matter how old, or young; in this case about ten years young, but tradition nonetheless. We’ll begin after a few words from our woman of choice, Edna-May.” The crowd cheered as Edna-May stepped up and took a deep breath. She looked out as she said, “Well first I woke up, then I had a piece of leave for breakfast, then I cleaned my teeth, then I flew over a grassy part of the swamp and collected more saliva for the egg sack, then I…”
“Shut up!” Grunk angrily said. Edna-May swooned as she said, “Oh, Grunk, I love you!” Amnay yelled out with rage as he said, “I’ll kill you!” A few guards held him back as Grunk started to panic.

King Nanma lifted one of his arms and the guards let go of Amnay as Nanma said, “Let Cklorblachk, begin!” Amnay rushed up to Grunk and started swinging his poison-fanged tail at Grunk. Grunk leaped, and hopped around dodging every move Amnay had to offer. Grunk every once in a while countered Amnay’s attacks by blocking the tail and jabbing at Amnay, as Amnay continued on the offensive side. Then Grunk backed up on a tree as Amnay thrusted his stingers at Grunk. Grunk ducked and ran underneath Amnay as Amnay’s stingers priced the bark of the tree and became stuck. Grunk said, “Hah!” as he threw a punch at Amnay. Amnay fluttered in the air and spun around, dislodging him from the tree. He twisted until he was right in front of Grunk.

Amnay wrapped his tail around Grunk’s throat and pointed his stinger at his neck as Grunk grabbed Amnay’s throat with his hands as they started glowing purple; a sign that he was starting up the poison for a poison jab attack. They both began to tighten their grip, fearful that they themselves will pass out from lack of oxygen before the other. They glared at each other’s eyes, pupil to pupil. The sound of the crowd escaped their thoughts as they fiercely stared the other one down. Edna-May threw her arms in the air as she shrieked, “I can stand to watch!” This broke the silence for Amnay as he loosened his grip and looked up saying, “Edna-May?”

Grunk saw his opportunity and took it. He flung Amnay on the ground and put him in a choke-hold. Edna-May screamed, “NO!” as the crowd gasped. Amnay looked like he had given up hope thinking that he was going to die there. Grunk looked up at the crowd, then at Edna-May, and then at Amnay and let him go. The crowd gasped again and grew silent. Grunk stepped away from Amnay as he approached King Nanma, Edna-May, and the crowd as he said, “My fellow dragonfly Pokémon! Is it silly of me to question your silly weird customs, or its dumb traditions, but is choking your best friend until he lies breathless under the decaying swamp sun really going to solve anything? Amnay’s my friend, and albeit a woman has come between us, we’ll remain as friends, and do you know why?” The sad crowd lowered their disgraceful heads as Grunk raised his hand with one finger standing, “one reason.” Just then Amnay came from behind him and bit off Grunk’s skinny arm. Grunk looked down at his lifeless arm and back at Amnay. Grunk picked up his arm with his other arm as he said, “You bastard, I’ll kill you! You bastard!” He started beating Amnay with his amputated arm. Amnay yelped every time Grunk hit him until he said, “Wait, where is everybody?” Grunk and Amnay looked around as the entire place was packed a few seconds ago. Now the place was completely empty, not a single bug, nor Pokémon, or some kind of mixture of the two occupied the place.

Amnay looked for the sun and found it as it was setting. “Oh no!” he said, “Cklorglovf has begun!” He spotted the swarm of Yanma’s flying away toward the big tree in the swamp. He managed to even spot out Edna-May holding hands with King Nanma as they flew off together. “Wow,” Grunk said, “, you got screwed over, and not the way we intended.” He patted Amnay’s back with his cut-off arm. “There’s always next year right?” Grunk asked. Amnay sighed and said, “Yea… I guess I’ll live for another year… again!” He shrugged as he flapped his wings depressively and glided off with Grunk.







Ready For Grading
Pokémon: Yanma, Yanma
Characters: 24,799
Also, this story is loosely based on a Futurama Episode called "Why Must I be a Crustacean in Love?"

 

BAGH, distractions, distractions, distractions. D: I'll get the grade up tonight.

- Kat

 

Plot: It started off somewhat like a National Geographic documentary. It then switched to some comedy, and it then ended with a somewhat random battle. The comedy bit and the battle were the only parts I felt were disjointed or not put together well. In one moment, Amnay is having his best friend help him, and in the next, he declares a battle to the death with him? There was no warning that he cared for Edna-May that much. In reality, Amnay seemed that he could care less about Edna-May as a person. I assume that the reason he got so mad was because he saw the possibility of living a mate-less year. I can only assume, though. You didn’t tell us anything about why Amnay got mad.

Edna-May seemed off in the second post. She seems shallow, and there was no hint that she wanted something more than just mating. All of a sudden, she declared to Grunk she wanted love and companionship. Why did she want these things? What made her think differently than all the other female Yamna? When she flew off with the King, it basically contradicted what she had told Grunk. It seemed she just picked the nearest male to mate with.

There was one other thing that was iffy: you kept referencing human things such as steroid and doctors. Do Yamna have some stat-boosting herbs or food? Do they have professions such as doctors? I can see that it’s meant to be funny, but at the same time, it adds a touch of unrealism to the whole story.

Introduction: This is the part that made me think of a documentary, and not in the good sense. Practically the whole first post was one explanation to another. I know it’s important that your reader should know this, but at the same time, this information could have been incorporated into the rest of the story. Think of it as telling a friend about how to play a video game (SSBM, for example.) If you tell the friend how to block, attack, special attack, taunt, and so on in one go, chances are, they are not going to remember it all. However, if you tell them bit by bit as a battle is going on, they’ll be more likely to remember everything. It also won’t feel like it’s long and complicated.

Grammar/Spelling: You had a good number of typos such as adding an extra comma sometimes before dialogue and mistaking “sense” and “since.”

Why did you clump your dialogue into paragraphs? Even with colored text, it was a bit annoying to read. Rule of thumb is to start a new paragraph when someone new speaks. It not only helps the story look less clumped together, but it’s easier to read.

Misuse of semicolon. Since “wide-eyed and jaw gaping” is not a complete sentence, you need to put a comma instead.

Also, “Yamna’s” as a plural is incorrect. Apostrophe ‘s’ signifies possession. Either put “Yamna” (I.e. one Yamna, two Yamna) or put “Yamnas.” Both methods have been used before. Just make sure that you stick with one and not switch from one to the other.

The period after “bodies” needs to be a comma because “Amnay said…” is a dialogue tag. I’m not sure if this is a typo or a reoccurring mistake.

In the first post, you had instances such as these where you switched to present-tense.

Length: More than enough.

Description/Detail: In the first post, we got an eyeful of the swamp. However, in the rest of the story, as Amnay and Grunk went from one place to another, or Amnay was building his love spot and showing off his skills, we didn’t get the same description. Does every corner of the swamp look as the one you described? Giving the reader their first view of a setting is important, but every setting, in both fiction and real life, changes as characters move and interact. Describing what’s around the characters whenever they move from one place to another gives the setting a realistic, 3D view.

Other than the bare necessities, the Pokémon were description-less. The average Pokémon fan knows what a Croakgunk looks like, but a reminder would be great for someone like me, who never uses or draws a Croakgunk. As for Yamna, since there are so many and not just a Pokémon that appeared once throughout the whole story, a good picture of what one looks like would be great.

Battle: It’s pretty short for a battle to the death, but I can see it’s more for comedy purposes than anything else, what with the abruptness and the ending. Except for the mentioned Poison Jab, there were no Pokémon attacks. There is no rule that a battle has to have Pokémon attacks, but the marvel of Pokémon is that they are animals that can fight in a much more epic way than normal animals because of their powers and attacks. To see a battle with no Pokémon attacks is a bit of a letdown.

Outcome: For now, I’ll say, One Yamna captured! Insert more description so that the setting doesn’t seem 2D. Like I said before, a setting changes as characters move, even if they are still in a swamp. PM me for a re-grade when you’re ready! ^^

- Kat