Chronicles of Isshu

Chronicles of Isshu

This is my series about a teens adventure through the land of Isshu.


Notes:
The first chapter was done on a seperate thread, as that was before I decided to make a series.
If you are not a grader, don't post here.

Chapters

1: A Big Misunderstanding! Grade
2: Not Smart Enough To Be a Savior Needs to Be Graded!

Story thus far
This is a short summery of each chapter, so graders who are too lazy to read precious chapters shouldnt fret. THIS IS NO SUBSTITUTE FOR READING THE ACTUAL STORY HOWEVER

Prologue

Spoiler

Senzura Hotske, a teen from lavaridge is indroduced. He is born with ADHD and schizophrenia, so his parents are quite protective. When at trainer school, and spaces out and accidently orders a Magmorter to use fire blast, almost burning down the school. Although the princible is fired for it afterwords, he expels Senzura. After this event, his parents forbid him from Pokemon. However, he receives secret lessons from the Lavaridge gym leader, FLannery. One day, she leads him down to a Torchic nest, where he receives his first pokemon, and best friend Rabadash, a small torchic. Flannery convinces Senzura's parents to let him go on a pokemon journey, and Senzura sets out for Sinnoh.

Chapter 1

Spoiler

While in his last days in Hoenn, Senzura and Rabadash get lost in Rustboro woods. While in the woods, the duo gets abducted by a clan of Bellsprout. They take them to their leader, where Senzura finds they have been confused with a demon who is destined to burn down the clans hidden vine village. Senzura makes a deal with the King Bellsprout however. If he can beat the king in a battle, they will not only let him go, but the King will travel with Senzura. After a long fought battle, Senzura wins and catches the King.

Chapter 2

Spoiler

Senzura arrives in Dewford, ready to catch his boat (the HCS Pokeboat) to Sinnoh. While on the boat, two thugs throw Senzura into the ocean. After treading water for awile, he encounters a bloodthirsty Carvana. At the last moment, a Magikarp appears and slams into the Carvana. The magikarp was completely unaware of its situation, so Senzura had to physically throw Magikarp at the Carvana to defeat. Senzura is then rescued by a boat, who he believes to be the HCS pokeboat. The Magikarp follows Senzura onto the boat, so Senzura tries to throw it back into the ocean. However, while in the air, it forces itself into Senzura's pokeball. After some more sailing, Senzura discovers that he is actually on the HCS Pokebu, en route to the Isshu region

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17158 Characters

Chapter 1: A Big Misunderstanding​

Senzura, he is your typical Hoenn nerd. Glasses? Check. Button-down shirt? Check. Chest pocket? Checkity-check. Yes, everyone labeled him as a nerd, even his mentor, Flannery, back at Lavaridge town called him a nerd. Although, she was the only one who would do anything for him. This was because of the problems that Senzura had that held him back. Senzura was born with severe ADHD and mild schizophrenia. These problems were so severe; he was kicked out of the Rustboro Pokemon School. After that incident, his parents told him that he could no longer pursue anything related to pokemon. The fatal incident stuck in his mind to this day.....

"Okay students today we are going to work on type disadvantages. Each student will be given a pokemon that has a disadvantage to their instructors." instructed the teacher." Senzura you will be using a Magmorter. Your opponent will be Mr. Perry, who will use a Golem." While this was typical procedure for a day at the school, today was different. They were to have a special guest, none other than Roxanne, the Rustboro Gym Leader!

A mistake like the one Senzura was about to make would be normally over looked by a normal instructor, as their code of conduct required, but this instructor was different. Dr. Harlem was as some people say "Wants Ego like Munchlax wants food". If Roxanne liked this performance, she would give Dr. Harlem a grant, allowing him to hire a qualified instructor, giving him room to pursue dreams of working at Mossdeep Space center.

Senzura took the stage. In his ear, he was told that the Golem he was fighting could DEFLECT fire. This would make it dangerous if a fire attack was used, so they should be avoided at all costs. So the battle began. "Golem, start off with a rock slide!" Perry bellowed. The Golem released rocks straight at Magmorter, but Senzura responded, "Magmorter, hang a left and him'em with a brick break!” Magmorter's massive body swung to one side, kicking up a stone tile on the floor. Running toward that stationary Golem the red monster of a pokemon swung a massive arm down and scored a clean hit on the big rock. Despite this being Golem's weakness, *the Golem manage to hang in there. This is where things got bad. Whenever Senzura loses focus, that's when he has his episodes.

Thinking that the Golem was down, he involuntarily began to look around*at the other students. He saw one with a Charmeleon blowing out a long flamethrower straight at Skarmory. Senzura began to daydream about Charzard under his control, battling a mighty Registeel. He then, without his knowledge, unconsciously screamed

"FIRE BLAST"

The Magmorter reared back, took a large breath, and blew out a gigantic star of fire. Almost on signal the Golem held both of its arms in and protected itself from the blast. The fire blast began to fly all around the school, burning everything in site. Luckily one of the more paranoid teachers standing by the fire extinguisher flew open the glasses, and began to spray the white gas around. The fire was quickly put out, but Harlem was not pleased. Before Roxanne could say a word, Senzura was set back to Lavaridge on the first bus they could provide.


His parents, who told him he couldn't function in a pokemon school from the beginning, were definitely not happy. They forbade him from ever doing anything with pokemon ever again.

However, Roxanne did not mind the event, and was to give Dr. Harlem the grant anyway. Although, when she found that he expelled Senzura for a simple mistake, she was not pleased, and the Doctor was sent packing. This didn't change Senzura's parents' minds, and the ban still held. There was one however who still liked the kid. The Lavaridge gym leader, Flannary.
She took him under her wing, and over the years taught him more than the school ever taught him everything he knew. This was done in secret, however, as his parents would never allow it. They always believed he was helping her clean the gym! One day, when training in the mountain next to the town. Something happened that would set the course of his life.
__________________

"Senzura, you've really improved these past few years yah know kid?" *she said while exploring the mountain.

"Yah I guess" he responded

"Well, I started training with you when you were eleven, four years later, you're likely better than the professors at the pokemon school" She started

"I don't know about that.....and what happened to randomly using the words ERUPTION and HOT and FIRE in your sentences?" Senzura asked curiously. She really did overuse those analogies, usually when she stops, she's getting serious. She stopped and turned toward Senzura "Yah you will always be a nerd, but seriously..."

Senzura became even more curious, turning his head toward the female gym leader.

"There's something I want you to see" she said as she turned back her head and began walking in another direction.

Where they were headed concerned Senzura. The mountain that they trained in ran through many interconnected chambers.


Each chamber in the Volcano had its own light, either supplied by the outside or the natural magma streams that ran through the mountain. However there was wan direction of the rocky zubat-infested set of tunnels that Flannery always told him to stay away from the southern-most chamber. This tunnel ran straight underground and, as Flaney put it, "Is dark as a Gengar's humor". Flannery, now was walking right through this tunnel

As the light diminished, Senzura yelled to Flannery "Where are you going! If you can't see under here, were sure to get lost!"

She stopped "Senzura, I haven't been entirely truthful to you all these years"

"What do you mean?"

She turned to reveal one of the most amazing sights Senzura had ever laid his eyes on. Behind Flannery was a large circular are cut out in the rock, lined walled to wall with sharp, gagged crystal that glimmered like the sun.

"Whoa!" Senzura exclaimed "What is this place? You wanted to keep THIS a secret?"

"Not exactly" she responded "I wanted to keep THOSE a secret"

She pointed toward a small crevice cut out in the wall. While before it was covered by crystals, on closer inspection a small pine next could be seen. Inside the nest were four newborn Torchics.

"It seems that their mother Blaziken left them all alone, so I've been coming down here to feed them regularly. The reason that I came down here with you today is..."

"Is what?" Senzura asked with anxiety

"...is I want you to have one."

Senzura looked surprised. "You know my parents have forbidden me from doing anything related to pokemon! I could never keep one in secret!"

Flannery smiled "I've already talked to your parents. I manage to convince them to let you become a pokemon trainer."

Senzura almost burst with happiness. "REALLY?! I CAN!?"

"Yes really. Now how about you give the Torchic a name?"

Senzura's mind raced. What to name it. Names last forever, and he needed a good one. "Rabadash. Your name is Rabadash."

Rabadash referred to a character from one of Senzura's favorite novels.

"Well good Senzura. I really think you should get packed up for your journey"

They then left the mountain and Senzura rushed toward his house. The next day he stood at the edge of the town with his Torchic and waved goodbye to his parents and friends. Stopping him before he left, Flannery ran up to him.

"Senzura, while you’re out on your journey, remember this: No matter how how far away you and Torchic might be, a bond of fire and a heart of flame will always get you through!"

That's the Flannery Senzura always remembers.

----------------------------------------------------

It’s been a month since he left Lavaridge, and Senzura and Torchic were feeling better than ever!

By better than ever he meant lost in Petalburg Forest.

The thing was, Senzura really wanted to explore Hoenn a bit more before he boarded his ship for Sinnoh. A month of walking and he finally made it to the forest! Unfortunately he had immediately got lost in the rustling woods. With a gentle breeze flowing through the trees, knocking off the occasional Caterpie, he felt quite peaceful here, despite not knowing where the heck he was. Torchic was still as energetic as ever, jumping around next to the teenager. Luckily he had a type advantage against the large amount of bug pokemon that inhabited this forest. Back in Lavaridge, the only pokemon he ever saw were fire type, so this gave him a feeling of accomplishment. However, Senzura was incredibly immature, and brushing his teeth gave him a feeling of accomplishment.

"Tor-chic chic"

"I know were lost Rabadash! Tell me something I don't already know" Responded Senzura loudly.

Ah, yes. Recently in is long travels with the little Torchic, Senzura had gained an odd ability to talk to Rabadash and understand what he says. It’s not all that clear how it works exactly, almost like an unconscious understanding of a language you don't truly understand. Or maybe Senzura is pretending he knows what he's talking about and is really just crazy.

Either one works.

*Rustle Rustle*

Suddenly Senzura saw a nearby bush rustle slightly. This would be normal behavior of a little wurple, but something was off. Judging by the way the bush moved, it would have to be something with arms moving the bush around. But what has an arm that’s shorter than 4 feet?

Senzura and Torchic crept in closer, only to see a little yellow bulb stick up from the top of the bush, and run (or rather waddle) full speed into the canopy.

The little yellow thing seemed extremely interested Senzura, so he immediately grabbed Rabadash, trusted him up onto his shoulders, and ran as fast as his legs could carry him.

Left! Right! Around a tree! Over a bush! The great forest chase seemed to go on forever!

After what seemed an eternity of running, the little thing ran into a hole in the trees, which was covered by vines. The little thing stopped just enough for Senzura to make out what it was.

"A BELLSPROUT!? There aren't any bellsprout in hoenn! What could it be doing here?"

Senzura wanted to go through the vines after it, but he would be cut to ribbons. Before he could make a second thought.....

SMACK!

Senzura was out cold.

As Senzura awoke, he rubbed his neck and begun to wonder what just happened. As he looked around, he saw that he was being carried! Tangled up in vines, there was no mean to escape. He looked down to see who his captors were.

"BEL-SPROUT BEL-SPROUT" the little pokemon chanted as they carried Senzura to an unknown destination. Now this was a sight not many would get to see! It seemed a large clan of Bellsprout had tangled up Senzura and had been marching with him held above their heads!

Where Senzura was now could only be described as a forest within a forest. Below him was the normal forest floor, dirt and grass. But all around was a tunnel of vines! The odd thing was that the vines had been carefully tied together, almost as if the Bellsprout at created a cave system made from nothing but what the forest provided them.

It was then Senzura suddenly noticed Rabadash was nowhere to be seen!

"Rabadash?! Rabadash?! Where are you!?" Senzura yelled at the best of is ability. With every part of his body restrained, it was nearly impossible to get a word out. Also, as soon as he made his cry, one of the Bellsprouts leading the pack turned around and smacked Senzura clean in the face, giving him a nosebleed. They obviously didn't want any talking out of him.

As the Bellsprout made their way through the cave of vines, they came to an opening, a circular area with a large stone towering over everything in the middle. It seemed this wasn't the only tunnel of vines in this colony, as there were many more all around where Bellsprout were pouring in. To the side he say a large stake with something tied to it, wiggling. It was Rabadash.

"Rabadash, they got you too?!" Senzura yelled, following by another smack to the face.

"Trrr-orrrr" Rabadash struggled to say, as the bellsprout cleverly tied his mouth shut, to prevent any fire attacks.


In the middle, one Bellsprout stood out above the rest. Standing next to the stone was a Bellspout with a vine crown and a cape made from leaves.

"Bel-sprout-sprout!" The King-like pokemon said loudly

"Sprout-sprout-sprout" All Belsprout echoed in unison. Before Senzura could wonder what to think, he received a smack to the face yet again. This gesture must have meant Senzura should have responded.

"Um yah Sprout-sprout" he said unenthusiastically

Senzura was then led up toward the "king" in his vine prison and was studied closely. Then the King moved to show Senzura the stone. on the stone seemed to be the history on the Bellsprout’s clan! Great battles against fearow, a great invasion of butterfree, ect. But what the king directed his face to was a very odd carving. In it a human, similar to Senzura only with wings and horns, next to him a small demon, were burning down the forest of bellsprout with fire breath. Quite an unrealistic sight, but it soon sunk in.’
They though him and Rabadash were the demons!

"Whoa, Whoa, guys! I think were at a misunderstanding! I just happen to come to this part of the forest because we were lost, not because we wanted to destroy your....establishment."

The Bellsprout didn't seem to listen, and it didn't look like they were going to get a trial. They Bellsprout picked up Rabadash's stake and brought it over to a fire. They were going to cook Rabadash!

"Trrr-orrrrrr" cried the little Torchic as they began to lead him to the fire and set him up on a spit.

Senzura was exasperating. That Torchic was a gift and a friend! He wasn't going to lose it now! He was so far away though, how would he ever hope to save Rabadash? Suddenly he had a flashback.

"Senzura, while your out on your journey, remember this: No matter how far away you and Torchic might be, a bond of fire and a heart of flame will always get you through!"
Though he might have misunderstood the meaning, he used the advice to save his life

"Rabadash, build up as much fire in your mouth as you can, then quickly exhale!" Senzura yelled at the cost to two more smacks

Rabadash's mouth began to glow brightly, still closed from the vines, then with a gush of breath, flames spewed out from both sides. The vines on its beak burned, and traveled to the ones holding it to the stake. Rabadash quickly broke free and ran over to Senzura, releasing him as well. The Bellsprout ran around rampant, thinking that they were about to be burned to the ground, so they quickly ran over to Senzura to attempt another capture.

Then, however they were signaled to stop by their King.

"Bel-bel-bel-sprout" he said

Turning to Rabadash he requested a translation. Senzura better hope he can actually understand Rabadash!

"Tor-chick-chik-chic....." he went on

From the "Translation" Senzura was receiving, it seemed that, according to their lore, the demon that would destroy the clan was truly naive and weak. Senzura and Rabadash seemed different. But there would be one last test to prove this. A battle between Senzura and the King. If they won, the king would belong to Senzura. But if the King won, they would be subject to whatever the King chose. Senzura, believing this would be a simple "use ember to one-hit-KO the grass type" deal agreed.

The entire Bellsprout clan watched as the two parties took their positions.

"Rabadash, lets finish this quickly with an ember!"

Rabadash ran forward and spewed out flames. It would seem to be a hit, but the King was crafty. The Bellsprout used vine whip to grab the vines above, swing toward Rabadash, flip and give him a violent whip, causing major damage on the Torchic.

"That is one crafty bellsprout, but I’ve got a plan" Senzura said to himself "Rabadash, direct your flames slowly upward, so he can't pull that trick again!"

Rabadash did was ordered, and when the King readied the vine whip again. Senzura thought he had the Bellsprout cornered, but this time he grabbed the side of the vine dome, rather than the roof vines. This time the Bellsprout swung around and gave Rabadash a harsh hit from behind.

"Rabadash can't keep up much more of this!" Senzura said to himself. "What do I do?" Senzura than thought back to a day he dreaded, but this time would help him. He imagined the Magmortor setting fire to the school. That gave him and idea! "Rabadash, use your flamethrower to surround the King!”

"Tor-chic!

Rabadash began to run around the Bellsprout, using flamethrower as he went. A circle of fire appeared around the Bellsprout.

Senzura gave another order "Now hit the vines above with Flamethrower"

Rabadash let out a blast of fire above, setting the vines above ablaze. This gave the Bellsprout no place to escape.

"NOW RABADASH FINISH IT WITH FLAMETHROWER!"

A blast of flame went straight at the defenseless king, knocking the poor guy out.

"Time to keep your promise" stated Senzura. He then threw a pokeball right threw the flames at the Bellsprout. One shake...then another...

The flames disappeared as Senzura walked over to see if this crazy adventure had been worth it.



The Grade can be found here​

 

Chapter 1 Grade

Posting Chapter 1 grade here for easy veiwing



Chapter 1 Grade

Chapter 1 Regrade

 

Chapter 2: Not Smart enough to be a savior

Pokemon: Magikarp
Characters: 10573

Chapter 2: Not Smart Enough To Be a Savior

Senzura walked through Dewford city, grasping a small ticket. He had recently gotten a short ride to the city via private boat. The man never said a word, as Senzura had simply pointed to the little white boat parked behind his small wooden house. How this meant “May I mooch a ride to Dewford?” will remain a mystery to Senzura.

He was now at Dewford city, ready to catch his planned boat to Sinnoh. He held in his hand a small rectangular piece of paper with the boat’s arrival time and port number. 3:00, port 3, HCB Pokeboat. According to the information he gathered at the “Trendy House”. A wide wooden clubhouse over near the town’s cave, the “vice grip” HCB Pokeboat stood for “Her Champions Boat Pokeboat”. What astounded Senzura was jot the uncreative boat name, but the fact that the trendy house came up with the most random adjectives.

Around Senzura were large white port houses, each having an opening revealing massive ships being stored in each. These shipyards were all situated at the top a hill, which led down to the ocean were docks were filled with private yachts. Rabadash stood next to him, still somewhat traumatized by last week’s experience Senzura bent down and gave the small red Torchic a pat on the head.

“Don’t worry buddy, as soon as we get to Sinnoh, we can truly begin our pokemon journey” Senzura said in a calming voice.

“Chic-chic!” Rabadash responded as Rabadash jumped up and down, with its feathers fluffed from the salt water breeze.

Senzura’s glasses slipped down from his face, revealing a blurry ocean scene. He pushed them back up using his middle finger. This allowed him to see the large circular clock in front of him attached to a pole. It was 1:27.

“We got here quite early” Senzura said “Well, while were here, we might as well eat.”

Senzura pulled a big bag of sunflower seeds from his pocket and bent down. Out of the small knapsack he had slung around his shoulder, he pulled out some paper plates. He walked over to a nearby bench and sat the plate down and poured out the seeds. Rabadash quickly jumped up onto the bench and began pecking furiously at them. Sunflower seeds were apparently a favorite to Rabadash, and luckily in Dewford they sold them by the bucketful.

“Chick…mmmm..chic!” he said as he happily enjoyed his meal.

“Oh, we almost forgot the newcomer! Come on out Rex!” Senzura said as he pulled a pokeball out of his pocket.

Out of the red beam revealed the King if Bellsprout himself, whom Senzura had nicknamed Rex.

“Sprout” Rex said shortly. Rather than enjoy the seeds with Rabadash, he instead went over to some weeds and started grazing.

“Well, SOMEBODY is a total buzz kill!” Senzura said to as he put his hands on his hips”

A few hours passed and it was finally 3:00. A large horn rang out as smoke piled out of the newly arrived ship. The HCB Pokeboat was a large white ferry, well, large as ferries go. About 2/3 the size of a basketball court, the ferry could hold up to two rows of cars on each side. In the middle, a tall tower rose up to show the captain’s room. On the side, the words “HCS Pokeboat” were painted across in red. Machoke were on board moving cars into place. Senzura quickly returned Rex and ran over to the ticket booth.

“Ticket, please?” the ticket man said in a monotone voice.

Senzura reached into his pocket and pulled and pulled out his ticket. He flashed it to the man, and he nodded.

“Right this way k….” Before he could finish, Senzura and Rabadash had already bolted on board.

As the ship took off, Rabadash began to look somewhat sick.

“Chic-torchic!” he cried as he bent over the side of the ship.

“You sea-sick buddy?” Senzura asked as Torchic nodded almost immediately.

“Okay then, return Rabadash.”

Senzura reached into his bag and pulled out Rabadash’s pokeball, a ball he rarely used. Torchic’s body evaporated into the pokeball as Senzura put it back into his bag. He put his elbows back onto the railing of the side of the ship as he looked out onto the shimmering water. Below the boat, Goldeen were jumping along the wake left by the ship. The ferry seemed to be cutting through the water like a knife. It was such a calming scene for Senzura, a nice change from the constant ash coming down from Lavaridge Volcano,

The calm was soon broken as two large shadows came down in front of Senzura. He quickly turned around to reveal two large men standing before him. The were wearing matching shirts, both ripped at the shoulders with a large geodude symbol at the torso. They were both very built and stood at a menacing 6 feet tall.

“Uhh….What do you two want…” Senzura stuttered.

“Not much kid…” the first one said. “You’re just blocking our sun!” The second one said in a baritone voice.

“I don’t want any trouble guys….” Senzura stuttered as he back toward the rail of the boat frightened. “Ill just move….”

“Oh, we have a better idea…” the left man said as he and his partner ganged up on Senzura. They both hauled the small kid above their heads and tossed him overboard. Senzura’s button-down shirt flew up as he plummeted toward the ocean.

“AHHHH!!” Senzura screamed as he hit the water with a splash. Luckily Senzura knew how to swim, but the boat was already a distance away. He tried to swim toward the boat, but it was traveling toward its destination at a pace Senzura couldn’t keep up with. He finally decided to give and float on his back. This way, he could conserve energy. Flannary taught him all kind of survival techniques, or better yet, they learned them together in her weekly screw ups.

“Don’t worry Senzura,” he said to himself “Boats always use the same route every time. A different boat should come save me soon”

Senzura was kidding himself. On the inside he was panicking ecstatically. After twenty minutes of treading water, he for some reason decided to look under water.

“What if A Wailmer eats me? What if I drown? Ohhh A storm is gonna’ kill me before then!” Senzura said to himself. His Schizophrenia was beginning to act up. He swam in underwater and looked around. Nothing important that he could see. Just then, a round red and blue figure came jetting toward Senzura. On closer inspection, it appeared to be a Carvanha!.

“Dammit! A Cavanha…what do I do!?” Senzura said as the round fish can barreling toward Senzura, mouth wide open.

“HHHHHHHHHHHEEEEELLLPPP!!!!”

At the last moment, a red figure slammed right into the Carvanha. The figure had whiskers and a face that seemed to lack any sign of thought.

“A Magikarp?”

“Carp-Carp” the Magikarp said absent mindedly as it flopped around in the water. The Carvanha came back and slammed back into Magikarp, making the red fish fly into the air. Senzura quickly swam back to the surface to see what was going on. The Carvanha was starring down that absent minded Magikarp. The red fish was splashing in the water like nothing was bothering it. Then, the Carvanha ripped through the water on a collision course with Magikarp.

“Dodge it Magikarp!” Senzura screamed, forgetting the situation he was in.

The Magikarp simply turned toward Senzura and stared.

“Carp?”

The Carvana slammed straight into Magikarp and sent it flying through the end once more, hitting the water with a splash. The water around Magikarp turned red due to the Carvanha’s rough body piercing its skin. Senzura panicked, as this Magikarp was his only hope of not being killed by the Carvanha. The Magikarp didn’t even know how to use its own attacks! Suddenly an idea popped into his head.

“Magikarp, use Flail!’ Senzura ordered.

As expected, the Magikarp simply flailed around violently in place splashing up salty water into Senzura’s face. Senzura then swam over to the spastic fish, picked it up, and chucked it with all his might at Carvanha. The Magikarp hit the Carvanha with a violent “Thud!” and the Carvanha fell onto its back and sank down to the bottom. This Magikarp may be the stupidest thing Senzura had ever laid its eyes on, but its attacks sure packed a punch!

Senzura was still treading water, and he let out a sigh.

“Well, I guess I should thank you for being my savior….” He thanked.

“Carp?” the Magikarp responded

“Oh what am saying? You’re not smart enough be savior!”

Suddenly, he heard a ship horn ring out, and Senzura turned his head to reveal a ship coming his way! As the large white ferry came closer, he looked closely at the name painted onto the side of the boat. Although his glasses were fogged from all the salt water, he could make out the letters “HCS POKEB---“. It must be the Pokeboat!

Eventually the shipped reached Senzura, and the Sailors onboard let down a rope ladder, allowing Senzura to climb onto the deck. The big burly sailors were all dressed in white and wore traditional sailor caps.

“You were out there quite awhile, you be thankful we found ya’” one of the sailors said in a deep voice as he handed Senzura a towel.

“Well, I had some odd experiences to keep me entertained” Senzura responded shivering.

“Well, if you want, we could wait here and wait for your ship so we can transfer you” the sailor offered.

Senzura smiled. “Well, luckily this is my ship, so I guess I’ll still be going to the right destination.

“Ok, then” The sailor finished as he climbed back to the captains room. “Just take a seat on one of the benches on the bow until we reach land”

Senzura nodded, but he noticed there was something clinging to Senzura’s legs. How he managed to miss it astounded Senzura.

“Carp-Carp-Carp” the Magikarp said.

“You again?” Senzura said as the Magikarp slobbered all over his wet khaki pants. “It’s back to the ocean with you!

Senzura picked up the red fish and chucked it back into the sea. It flailed and flopped as it traveled through the air on course with the ocean. However, halfway on its way down, Senzura felt his bag rumple, and suddenly a red light came flying out toward Magikarp. The fish stopped once the beam made contact, and dematerialized into his bag.

“Wait, what!” Senzura yelled as the Magikarp disappeared into his bag. “I didn’t mean too……oh screw it!”

Senzura weaved his way through the cars as he made his way to the front of the boat to take his seat.

An hour passed and a bell rang out from the captain’s tower. “Were reaching land in 20 minutes, please head to your car or make your way to the center of the boat and prepare for landing!”

Senzura did as instructed and made his way to the center of the boat, but something made him stop in his tracks.

“We repeat, the HCB Pokebu will be arriving at port in the Isshu region in 5 minutes, please prepare for arrival” the captain repeated.

Senzura stared straight at the captain’s tower as his eyes widened.

“ISSHU?!”
​

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Re: Chronicles of Isshu [Chapter 2 Needs Grade]

Introduction, Characters, Backstory: First of all... Even though your story is composed of episodes and your character has already been introduced 'last chapter,' it'd still help if there were a succinct description near the beginning of the story of what Senzura looks like.

Your character's destination is given, but not his origin or his reason for traveling. Again, this is a case of 'have to read the first chapter first,' but it'd be a matter of just a couple sentences to summarize how 'Senzura had left his hometown of Lavaridge more than a month before, setting off on his Pokémon journey..."

What you need is a brief summary at the beginning of a chapter, at least to recap who Senzura is and why he's there.


Plot Content, Plot Flow: The plot's content is quite good, in that it's generally clear what is going on in the story... but the flow was a bit lacking. You tend to jump ahead through large periods of time, which is okay if you at least give the reader some idea of what your character was doing during this time: that's known as a timeskip.

However, to give an example, you attempted a timeskip here:

The problem with this is that the reader has no idea what happened during those 'few hours.' Did the Pokémon and their Trainer just keep eating? For HOURS? Even if those hours were uneventful, a simple phrase like, "A few hours passed, during which Senzura stared into the distance, munching on a sandwich he'd bought from a nearby store. Finally, a beeping alarm from his watch informed him it was 3:00."

So basically, the plot is good, but you need to work on your timeskips.


Grammar, Sentence Flow: Quite good overall, though there are a few paragraphs that confused me a bit.

Here, you go from a description of the "Trendy House," straight to an explanation of what the Pokéboat is, with only a comma in between. You need to separate the sentences so it's clear that you're talking FIRST about the Trendy House, and THEN about the Pokéboat.

First, turning around to 'reveal' something isn't really the right verb: it implies that the goons were actually HIDDEN before he turned around, not that he just couldn't see them. "He quickly turned around to discover," or "He quickly turned around to find," would work here, though.

And, 'They were both very built...' Built how? 'Stocky' or 'bulky' would be two options, but so would 'muscled' or 'beefy.' Just... not 'built.' A house is built. A person is born. And neither of those words is an adjective in that circumstance. xD


Detail, Description: Overall quite good. You described most of the locations with good enough detail that I wasn't left wondering what it all looks like. This is a major improvement over your first chapter, so kudos.

As I mentioned above, a description of your character (Senzura) himself, along with descriptions of his Pokémon, are lacking. Sure, we know what a Torchic and a Bellsprout look like, but a brief description would still be nice.


Battles: There's perhaps excessive reference to the fish 'slamming' into each other, but that's about my only real complaint; this battle is approximately what I'd expect for a Simple story, so it's also enough for an Easiest catch.


Overall: Well, the story had a few hitches plot- and description-wise, but overall those areas were fairly strong. The intro was lacking in my opinion, but that's probably because I expect a reasonably complete introduction of characters despite the presence of an earlier episode/chapter.

The battle could have been much more interesting, but your incorporation of a Pokémon's ability, rather than just its attacks, into the fight lent it at least some uniqueness.

Seriously, though? This is far better than the minimum requirements for catching a Magikarp. So, small problems aside, this was no contest.

Result:
Magikarp: Caught.