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Thread: Once upon a Caterpie

  1. #1
    Gym Leader Dennis Jansen's Avatar
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    Once upon a Caterpie

    IMPORTANT INFO:
    Spoiler:
    Characters: 27 048
    Words: 4793
    Pokemon trying to Catch: Caterpie


    Things in Lumiose City were always changing. Cafés opened monthly and the fashion changed weekly. The electronic bulletin board by route 4 showed something new in style every day.

    In a way, you thought it was ironic that you lived in such a fast-paced place. Change never really appealed to you. You liked your little apartment above a small café, and your job as the webpage designer for the city’s newspaper meant you rarely had to leave your humble place of residence. While a little lonely, you were happy with your life and didn’t foresee it changing anytime soon.

    That assumption was the first step that would turn your routine life upside-down.

    You walked around the city with a small smile on your face. It was a rare occasion for you to be out and about, but it was a nice day, and you had grown tired of being indoors. The sounds of the crowds were a refreshing change from your quiet apartment.

    Your good mood was infectious, as everyone else seemed to sport his or her own grins.

    Walking through the shopping area, you observed different kiosks and vendors selling a variety of goods. One that had caught your interest was from the local floral shop. They were having a sale on potted houseplants.

    “Hello, young lady!” said the vendor. You smiled at the older lady. “It’s refreshing to see that people still appreciate plants.” A small chuckle escaped your throat.

    “Or I could just be a boring individual,” you joked. The lady gave a laugh.

    A small pokemon poked its head over the florist’s shoulder. You smiled and waved at the pokemon. It blushed and hid behind its trainer. The lady just smiled and patted her shy little friend on the head. You didn’t know it’s name, but the pokemon was one you’ve seen in the city before. It was a little flower fairy type.

    Being a pokemon trainer was something outside of your financial stability, even as a child. The cost to raise a team of pokemon was expensive, and the tuition for a special trainer school was even more outlandish. While your job paid fairly well, the amount of money it would require gradually dwindled your interest in becoming a trainer.

    “Can I interest you in this plant?” said the vendor, successfully breaking your train of thought. The plant was leafy, but had its leaves tilted away from the sun.

    “It’s native to our Kalos region,” started the woman. “But it prefers a shady place to grow. Perfect for the indoor enthusiast. With some water and patience, it will bloom blue flowers.”

    It’s like this lady knew you.

    You bartered with the florist and got a good deal on the plant. Having had enough of being social, you lugged your plant back to your place. It seems quite happy in the corner of your living room.


    The next day Lumiose Press called you into work. An editor for the variety page was having issues with his page designing software. It didn’t take long to resolve, and after a quick greeting to your editor-in-chief, you were on your way back home.

    You spotted something shiny on the sidewalk outside of the café you lived above. Picking it up, you were mildly surprised to see it was a pokeball. The pokeballs in Lumiose City were fairly expensive, why wouldn’t have someone picked it up?

    Suddenly, the ball popped open in your hand.

    You stared wide-eyed at the small, green pokemon. The large eyes of the bug pokemon intensely studied your face in confusion.

    He was…kind of cute.

    “Uh…” you said. “Hi?”

    The bug pokemon curled up on the ground and whined softly in pain. You shook your head as you gently picked up the pokemon and scurried off to the pokemon center a few blocks down the street.

    “Excuse me!” you said as you entered the Pokemon Center. Nurse Joy looked up in surprise. “I found this little guy. I don’t think he’s well.” Joy walked around her counter and gently took the pokemon into her hands.

    “Oh, poor dear. This Caterpie is completely exhausted,” said Joy as she placed the pokemon on a stretcher. She smiled at you. “Don’t worry, a little rest, and it’ll be good as new.” A Chansey came in and wheeled the bug pokemon to a back room.

    “That’s good.” You sighed in relief. “But who could’ve left him on the ground in such a state?” Nurse Joy’s lips set into a firm frown.

    “Honestly, trainers’ abandoning their pokemon has become more frequent with the discovery of new pokemon,” said Joy, sadly. “Young trainers especially are unsatisfied with their partners, and replace them with a ‘cooler’ pokemon.”

    “That’s awful,” you said. Disgust filled you at whoever abandoned the Caterpie. Joy nodded in agreement. “Is there anything we can do?” you asked. The pokemon doctor walked behind her counter and pulled out a form.

    “All we can do is fill out a missing pokemon report,” Joy said with a sigh. She hesitated in filling out the form.

    “But it won’t do much good,” Joy continued. “I know the signs of an abandoned pokemon, and that little Caterpie has them. And I don’t think that anyone one in Lumiose City wants to adopt an abandoned bug pokemon.”

    Nurse Joy had a point. The people in this city care almost exclusively about trends and fashion. Bug pokemon are most definitely not in style, and female trainers tend to stay away from bug types. Though you have heard rumors about a female gym trainer that loves to use bug types, but only certain ones.

    Your hand brushed against the pokeball in the pocket of your pants. A sigh escaped you as you made your mind.

    “I’ll take him,” you told Nurse Joy. She looked up at you surprised.

    “Well, I mean, I’ve never raised a pokemon before,” you said sheepishly. “But I can’t just leave him to rot in some place where he’s unwanted.” You paused as you thought about something.

    “It is a he, right?”

    Nurse Joy laughed lightheartedly. While Chansey was taking care of Caterpie, Joy filled you in on the basics of pokemon caregiving.

    “Also,” said the nurse. “Since it is likely that Caterpie was raised by a trainer, it will probably want to battle other trainers. Here take this.” Nurse Joy handed to you the pamphlet, Guide to Winning Pokemon Battles.

    “It will take experience,” said Joy. “But it’ll give you an idea on what you’re doing.”

    “Thanks,” you said and you glanced through the pamphlet. Chansey happily cried as it wheeled a fully rested Caterpie into the lobby. Caterpie looked around lost until it’s eyes focused on you. You knelt down to the bug pokemon.

    “If you’d like, you can come live with me, Caterpie,” you said awkwardly. Caterpie squealed as it crawled up your arm and took it’s “rightful” place on your shoulder. You giggled as it nuzzled your face.

    “Looks like I’m going to be buying food for two from now on.”

    You sighed as you stared at the state of disarray of your apartment.

    Caterpie revealed it’s playful nature to you in the few weeks you’ve had him. He particularly liked to tackle the couch cushions off the couch and nibble on the leaves of your poor houseplant. It’s favorite prank, however, was to shoot sticky thread in your face when he was restless.

    But you didn’t mind as much as you thought you would.

    Caterpie sat on your shoulder as it watched you work on your laptop. He, at the very least, knew that your work computer was off-limits to any of his mischief. You thought it was amusing how bug-like he acted when it came to your computer. He just HAD to stare at it whenever the monitor was on.

    You yawned as you powered down your laptop. Caterpie chattered restlessly on your shoulder. It was still early in the day and the bug pokemon was tired of being indoors.

    “Wanna go see if we can find any trainers in the city?” you mused to your companion. Caterpie’s large eyes sparkled in delight at the thought of battling. You laughed as you grabbed your computer bag, which now doubled as a makeshift pokemon emergency kit, and stuffed Caterpie’s pokeball inside. The bug pokemon sat proudly on your shoulder as you locked the door to your apartment.

    You had read up on Caterpie and his abilities online. For sure you knew Caterpie learned the moves tackle–your poor couch cushions–and string shot. Typical moves for the pokemon. But you also read that bug types like Caterpie evolve quickly. Since Caterpie showed no signs of evolving, you assumed it was fairly inexperienced.

    Upon entering the nearby plaza, you found a bored waitress on break. Her Skitty batted at the lady’s shoelaces.

    “Hi,” you greeted the lady. “Would you like to battle?” The waitress glanced unimpressed at the pokemon riding on your shoulder.

    “I guess I have a minute to spare,” she drawled as she straightened up. Her Skitty hopped in front of her, ready to battle. “One on one battle?”

    “Sounds good,” you said. It wasn’t like you had any other pokemon to battle with.

    Caterpie jumped off of your shoulder and landed on the ground in front of you. He looked ready to take on anything.

    “Skitty, tackle that insect,” commanded the waitress. Her pokemon charged at Caterpie. You hesitated for a second, but quickly spoke a command.

    “Caterpie, use string shot!”

    The foe Skitty’s paws got tangled in sticky thread. It tripped and landed on its face.

    “Get up, Skitty!” said the waitress.

    “Now use tackle!” you said as Caterpie charged forward. You and the waitress watched in stunned silence as Skitty was thrown back from the force of the blow. Skitty was no longer able to battle. Caterpie appeared to be proud of himself.

    “Wow…” said the waitress. The waitress scurried off to the Pokemon Center to heal her pokemon before her next shift started.

    Caterpie crawled up your side and seated himself at his usual spot on your shoulder. You couldn’t believe how strong his attack was. Or maybe that Skitty was really weak, but still. It was…awesome.

    “Magnifique!”

    You turned around and your jaw fell slack. Surely today had to be a dream, because standing behind you was one of the city’s most famous people…

    “It’s been such a long time since I’ve scene such a one-sided battle. Truly wonderful!”

    Professor Augustine Sycamore had witnessed your battle.

    You sipped your coffee awkwardly as Sycamore thoroughly looked over your Caterpie. Caterpie seemed to be enjoying himself as the pokemon professor rubbed his tummy.

    Things you hadn’t been expecting to happen today included: winning your first pokemon battle with a one hit knockout, and being treated to coffee at a nearby shop by Augustine Sycamore.

    This was more social interaction than you were accustomed to.

    “So you’re the person Nurse Joy told me about,” Sycamore said as he patted Caterpie on the head. Your pokemon wiggled over to you and climbed up on your shoulder.

    “The girl who took in the abandoned Caterpie,” said the professor. “I must say I was quite surprised to hear such a story! A non-trainer woman taking in a stray bug pokemon so easily? Such a heartwarming story, I had to meet you for myself!”

    “A grown man swooning…” you thought to yourself with a sweat drop on the back of your head. This wasn’t exactly how you pictured the famous pokemon professor.

    “Um, thanks professor. I–”

    “No, no! Call me Augustine,” he smiled at you. You’re face warmed in embarrassment. One would think that since you worked at a newspaper, you’d be able to talk such famous Kalos icons. Caterpie rubbed against your face, sensing your uneasiness.

    “Uh, right. Augustine, then,” you said, awkwardly clearing your throat. “I just didn’t think it was right abandon him.” You lightly scratched Caterpie on the head. “And I’m still at a loss as to why someone would leave him. He’s surprisingly tough!”

    Sycamore set his coffee down and crossed his hands in front of his face. This was the most serious you’ve seen him.

    “I have a theory,” he said. “When most trainers catch a bug type, they don’t catch them for their first evolution. They are raised because pokemon like Caterpie evolve into stronger forms quickly. Butterfree is the ultimate goal of those trainers.”

    You caught on to what he was trying to say.

    “But if the pokemon doesn’t want to evolve, then…” you mumbled. Sycamore nodded in agreement.

    “They get abandoned by frustrated trainers,” he finished.

    Caterpie whined sadly as he looked down. Leaving a pokemon behind because they didn’t want to change? How selfish could trainers get? You scoffed as you picked up the pokemon and held him in front of your face.

    “There isn’t anything wrong with you, Caterpie. I like you as the wingless pokemon you are,” you stated. Caterpie squealed happily as he nuzzled you again.

    “The mischief you’d cause if you had wings…” you mumbled to yourself.

    “Such a wonderful display!” Sycamore swooned. “I knew there was something special about you!” Heat returned to your face as you stared intently at your coffee cup.

    “That being said, I have a job opportunity for you,” said the professor. You blinked rapidly. Caterpie tilted his head to the side as he watched Sycamore.

    “Um, that’s alright professor, I’m doing well at the Lumiose Press,” you said, turning down his offer. The pay at the newspaper wasn’t going to make you filthy rich, but it was enough to live on.

    “And I’m sure you’re wonderful at it!” he said with a smile. “But it isn’t hard at all and a little extra cash to help care for your Caterpie wouldn’t hurt, would it?”

    “I-I guess not,” you said, uncertain.

    “Magnifique!” Sycamore cheered. You sweat dropped again. Famous or not, you did not understand this man. The pokemon professor stood up from his chair.

    “Come by my lab tomorrow after you’re finished with your regular work with the press!” he said as he handed money to the barista and left you alone in the coffee shop. You and Caterpie didn’t move for a few moments.

    “Jeez! He could have at least told me what I’d be doing!”

    You stared at the camera in your hands with a blank expression. A hoard of different pokemon inside the lab looked warily at you and the Caterpie on your shoulder.

    Phil the photographer was going to kill you.

    “Come now!” said Sycamore as scooped up an Emolga. “I told this would be the perfect job for the webpage designer and part-time photojournalist of the Lumiose Press!”

    “I’m not exactly trained in professional pokemon photography,” you said as a Skiddo pranced up to you and sniffed your leg. Caterpie was prepared to shoot thread at the pokemon if it attacked you. Sycamore sighed as he set down the electric flying-squirrel pokemon.

    “This wonderful city,” started a melancholy Sycamore, “has a pandemic of abandoned pokemon. By default, these pokemon are entrusted to me to find a good home for.” He turned and looked you in the eye. “I believe that together, you and I can find homes for these pokemon.”

    Once again, you found yourself blushing. You cleared your throat as you glanced at the pokemon.

    “It shouldn’t be too bad, raising public awareness,” you said, critically. “I can write an article for both the newspaper and the online edition. If you don’t have a website, I can make one specifically for pokemon adoption in Lumiose. Maybe petition for an ad to be displayed on the electronic bulletin boards throughout the city.”

    “I knew I could count on you!” said a beaming Sycamore. “An adoption webpage is an excellent idea! I’ll leave everything to you!”

    You sighed as the Skiddo lightly head-butted your leg and begged for attention.

    ”This is going to be a long day,” you thought to yourself.

    “Alright, little guy,” you said as you squatted down and scratched the goat pokemon behind the ear. The Skiddo leaned happily into your hand. “Looks like your first.”

    Thirty-two. That was the number of abandoned pokemon you took pictures of in Sycamore’s lab. Part of you wondered how so many pokemon could fit in the building; part of you was disgusted by ever trainer who left his or her pokemon to die.

    Some pokemon were easy to photograph, like the attention-loving Skiddo. Others were camera shy like the Emolga, and got threads sprayed in its face when it tried to electrocute you. Poor thing had nearly wet itself at the sound of the camera shutter.

    The worst was the abused and abandoned pokemon. A fairy pokemon you learned as Flabébé sat in a dark corner of the lab. Several of her petals were shredded from harsh pokemon battles she wasn’t prepared for.

    A Cubone with a badly cracked skull bone, an Eevee with a missing eye, even a Taillow with his wings crudely plucked. You couldn’t believe what some people would do to their pokemon counterparts. It just wasn’t right.

    That was it. You had made up your mind.

    You were going to find them all a home.

    The glare from your monitor was the only light in your apartment as you typed away at your computer. You paused to look at Caterpie. He was curled up around the base of your houseplant. A smile formed on your face as you reviewed the prototype homepage of your new website.

    You found yourself at Sycamore’s lab almost every day after work with Caterpie and your laptop. It was easier for you to get Sycamore’s advice on the website if you worked on it at the lab. Caterpie had made friends with some of the pokemon, and loved to engage the stronger ones in mock battles. You had even begun to give some of the pokemon nicknames.

    “Hey, Captain!” you said as you patted the one-eyed Eevee. His eye patch reminded you of a pirate captain. You smiled at the pokemon. “How’s the crew?” The Eevee yipped as if to say everyone was well.

    “The pokemon here have taken a shine you,” said Sycamore as he leaned against the doorframe. “Such a wonderful sight to behold!”

    “Caterpie seems to have made some friends here,” you said as you looked at your pokemon. The bug pokemon nibbled on a treat while he sat on a Skiddo’s head. Captain walked up to the pair and jumped around, wanting to battle. Caterpie finished it’s treat and began to shoot string at the Eevee. You and Sycamore laughed as Eevee got tangled in sticky threads.

    “Professor Sycamore!”

    You and Sycamore turned around to see a plump woman and a little boy.

    “Ah, yes!” said Sycamore. He turned to you with a pleased face. “You’re article in the newspaper has raised some critical awareness of our situation. This lady is here to get her son a starter pokemon.”

    “Wow…” you thought. The paper with your article was published yesterday. You figured it would take a few days before anyone would show up. “And I haven’t even launched the website yet!”

    “My name is Terry, and I want a cool pokemon!” declared the boy. You mentally rolled your eyes.

    Of course he’d want a “cool” pokemon. That’s what all kids in Lumiose want. It’s why you were here helping out with pokemon adoption.

    “And what kind of cool pokemon is Mr. Terry looking for?” asked Professor Sycamore as he crouched, eyelevel with the child. As the child thought and looked around at his options, you checked out Augustine.

    He was pretty good with kids.

    “Wow!” suddenly exclaimed Terry. You blinked as you shook off your blush and glanced at Terry. Terry marched up to Captain.

    “An Eevee with an eye patch! How cool!”

    Captain stared intently at the boy with his good eye. The Eevee yipped happily before he eagerly wagged his tail.

    “I see,” said Sycamore. “You and Eevee seem to bond well. I hope you treat him better than his previous trainer.”

    “Of course,” said Terry. “Eevee and I are going to become Ace Trainers! Right, little guy?”

    Eevee yipped in excitement.

    “Wonderful!” said Terry’s mother. “How much do we owe you?” Sycamore held up his hands.

    “It costs no money for one of our pokemon to go to a good home,” said the professor. “We only ask for two things.”

    “Oh?” inquired the lady. Sycamore walked over to you.

    “Firstly, take good care of the pokemon. They deserve it,” said Sycamore. “Secondly–” You jumped as the professor wrapped his arm around your shoulders. “If you could let this lovely lady take Eevee and Terry’s photo for our future website, that would be fantastic.”

    “Of course!” she said. “That would be no problem at all. Terry! Bring Eevee and get your picture taken.” Terry ran over with Captain in his arms. You embarrassedly shrugged off Augustine’s arm and fumbled with your camera. Caterpie crawled up onto your shoulder to get a better look.

    “Is that your pokemon, lady?” Terry asked. Caterpie puffed himself up at being noticed.

    “Sure is,” you said as you fiddled with your camera. “Ok guys, look this way!”

    A quick flash and a picture of Terry and Captain smiling blipped up on the camera’s review function. The photo would be perfect for the website.

    Goodbyes were said, and Terry, his mother, and Captain all left the lab. You smiled as you downloaded the picture to your computer. Captain was going to be all right.

    “Such a remarkable start!” said Sycamore, beaming in glee. You glanced at the professor. “I can’t wait to see what the future holds!” he said, giving you a wink. You blushed and quickly snapped your head back to your laptop. Sycamore’s laugher made your face grow hotter.

    He SO caught you checking him out...

    Today was not your day.

    A hot splash of water in your face made your skin turn bright red. Vines wrapped around your body tied to you the ceiling of the laboratory. You could almost feel your blood circulation being cut off.

    You stared hopelessly into two pairs of amused eyes. Caterpie desperately attempted to get to you, but failed as he every string shot he spat was effortlessly burned away. The bug pokemon was strong, but his opponent was fast.

    The other pokemon huddled in the corner of the lab, scared. You just couldn’t take this anymore.

    “AUGUSTINE!!!” you screamed.


    Earlier That Day

    You nervously bit your lip. It was too quiet.

    Sycamore was unusually silent as he clicked every link and checked every page of your prototype webpage. Every graphic and font used was observed with a criticizing glance. This was the part of being a webpage designer you hated as doubts drifted around your head.

    Did he not like it? Was the name stupid? Should you have used a different picture for the homepage?

    While you did get his advice on how he wanted the webpage, Augustine had refused to preview it until you had finished. Now that the time had finally arrived, he wasn’t saying a word. You didn’t know how much more suspense you could take.

    “Once Upon A Caterpie Adoption, hm?” quietly mused Sycamore. Caterpie shifted on your shoulder while you swallowed hard, anticipating negative feedback.

    “I…I…I cannot hold in my emotions any longer!” Sycamore shouted as he stood out of his seat with a hand on his chest.

    “Huh?” you said, dumbly.

    “Such a heart filled connection to the site! The expressions of the pokemon on the Adopt Us page!” the professor swooned. “The raw passion that says ‘I am the one you have been searching for!’”

    ”Ok, that last one I didn’t intend,” you thought with a dark blush. Caterpie chattered happily at the professor’s dramatics.

    “Magnifique!” exclaimed Sycamore as he grabbed your hands. “It is everything I hoped it to be!” You smiled shyly at the praise.

    “Th-thank you,” you said. “Does this mean you want me to make it official?”

    “Ah!” said Sycamore. He released your hands. “I would say to do so at once, but I’m afraid I am going to have to ask you to hold out a bit longer.”

    “Why? Is there something wrong with the site?” you questioned.

    “No, no! Nothing of the sort!” he smiled. You noticed he wasn’t as happy. “I got a message from Nurse Joy saying we were going to have some newly abandoned pokemon coming in today. I would like for you to take their picture and get them on the website before it is launched.”

    “Oh,” you said with a small, understanding grin. “That shouldn’t be a problem.”


    “Why didn’t I think this was going to be a problem?” you whined from your current spot on the ceiling. Water dripped into a puddle below you.

    Professor Sycamore was right; you most certainly got new pokemon at the lab. A Panpour, Pansage, and a Pansear, to be exact.

    The three monkey pokemon were recent releases of a punk trainer. After the professor left, the three pokemon immediately began to cause trouble and pick fights with the other pokemon. You and Caterpie attempted to get them under control, but it ended up with Pansage binding you to the ceiling, while Panpour shot hot water at you. Pansear, meanwhile, was having a great time as he fired embers at Caterpie.

    “That is quite enough from you three!” said Sycamore as he returned. A deep frown formed on his face as he saw you and your charred pokemon. Panpour snorted at Sycamore as it shot a blast of water at the professor. You blinked in surprise as Augustine dodged.

    “It is rude to attack a lovely lady!” said Sycamore as he pulled out a pokeball. Your eyes widened. You didn’t know he also trained pokemon. “On guard, Bulbasaur! Let’s teach these pokemon some manors.”

    Panpour suddenly wasn’t too sure of itself, and looked at his two brothers for support. Pansear and Pansage shared a gaze and nodded to each other. The grass type monkey released you from the ceiling. As grateful as you were to be on solid ground again, you sprinted over to Caterpie.

    “You ok, Caterpie?” you asked. Your bug pokemon chattered happily at you, but he looked tired. A visit to Nurse Joy would be a good idea later.

    “There we go,” said Sycamore as he returned Bulbasaur to a pokeball. You watched as the professor gave the three monkeys a pep talk. His feelings seemed to get across to the pokemon. It made you wonder just what kind of person he was before he was researching pokemon professionally. The way he could command the respect of these abandoned pokemon…

    “Are you well, mademoiselle?” Augustine asked as he gently touched the red areas on your face. You cleared your throat at the awkward moment.

    “I think I’m alright. They don’t hurt,” you said. Sycamore stared into your eyes for a moment.

    “That may be so,” he started, “but I would still feel better if we got you and Caterpie looked at.” You found the wall interesting to look at as Augustine smiled at you. He held out his arm to you.

    “Come, mademoiselle. I shall escort you to the Pokemon Center.”

    Since Augustine made you administrator of the website, you now had a permanent part-time job at the Pokemon Research Laboratory. While you could do all your work from the comfort of your apartment, you found yourself feeling attached to the lab. Caterpie enjoyed the regular trips to see his pokemon buddies, though several of them had found new homes since the official launch of the adoption website.

    Thirty-four was the highest number of pokemon looking for a home you had seen since starting. Now, the number had dropped to the low twenties. Over ten pokemon had been taken in. It was a great start.

    “You really are something special,” Augustine said as he watched you. You simply smiled at him while an Emolga sat on your head. The electric flying squirrel teased the Caterpie on your shoulder.

    “I was wondering,” mused the professor. You looked at Sycamore, showing him he had your attention. “There is a wonderful new restaurant and I would be honored if you would join me on a date tomorrow night.”

    You stared in complete surprise as your face turned fifty shades of red.

    Did he just…he just…!

    “Uh, y-yeah,” you said. A smile lit up your face. “I would like that.” Scyamore beamed as he walked forward to you. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your forehead. Emolga jumped onto the professor’s head to keep from tumbling off.

    “Magnifique, ma belle.”

    THE END

  2. #2
    A story posted on PXR? What a treat! =D

    Claiming for grading!

  3. #3
    Story:

    Firstly, I loved the second-person perspective you used to narrate the story! I had never seen anything like it in all my two years of URPG story-telling. Typically, most writers tend to write in either the first or third-person perspective as this limits challenges with self-description and is overall more straightforward. I thought your narrative was clear and natural! There was a tiny problem with describing the main character, so if you choose to write from this perspective for future stories just make sure we're getting enough physical description for the character that is "you." Otherwise, great job! You inspired me to write a story for the URPG Times in the second-person! thank you for that!

    This is a heart-warming tale of an ordinary woman who adopts an abandoned Caterpie and consequently sets off a chain-reaction for other abandoned Pokemon. The plot was simple, and I was delighted by the way you tied the plot together from introduction to conclusion (routine life becomes somewhat extraordinary!) Additionally, I did like how you used a real-world perspective when explaining how becoming a trainer was far too expensive for the ordinary person or why Pokemon loved battling. Nice job with the subtle comedy as well! These were natural characteristics of your storytelling that I hope return in later works!

    My only piece of advice would be to keep on writing! You clearly have a grasp on how to write a story and devise a plot. Now just continue to write, aim for higher Pokemon, and naturally your plots will become more intense and involving. You provided a lot more effort than you needed to here for just a little Caterpie, and that's wonderful! I can't wait to see what stories you'll write in the future.

    Description:

    You did an excellent job at creating atmosphere. Within the first four indentations of your story, we have the vibe of both the city and the main character. These are tough aspects to capture sometimes, so I want to compliment you on that! Now, just work on providing a fuller description of both Pokemon and people. We know what color Caterpie is, and what his eyes look like. Experiment with delving a little further into your description, going beyond colors and eye characteristics. As a rule of thumb, the main character definitely needs to be described, and anybody else who appears (Pokemon or person) should also receive at least a small description (anything from a few words to a few sentences). Usually, we want to keep the appearance of a person in the story and their description close together. So, right after Professor Sycamore shows up to watch the main character's battle would be a nifty time to add in a sentence or two of what he looks like.

    Description doesn't need to bog the story down; try to keep the description level throughout as you did in this story, but just a notch or two above what description we have here. ^^

    Grammar:

    Traditionally, the names of 'things' that pertain to the Pokemon world are capitalized. So, Pokemon, routes names (Route 4), Trainer, Pokemon Center, the names of Pokemon attacks (use Tackle!), the names of types (Bug-Type, hyphen included), the names of Pokemon items (used a Potion!) Pokemon Professor, etc. are all capitalized. I believe that a hundred billion years ago when the URPG Story section began, there was some disagreement about what to capitalize in the Pokemon world, so the solution lied in parallelism and capitalizing all of these items. However, if you choose not to capitalize these, it's also not a huge deal - we might harass you a little bit for it but it's not an intense grammatical error.

    Caterpie looked around lost until it’s eyes focused on you.
    Caterpie squealed as it crawled up your arm and took it’s “rightful” place on your shoulder.
    Caterpie revealed it’s playful natureto you in the few weeks you’ve had him.
    It's is a contraction for "it is," as in, "I like Caterpie! It's a Bug-Type Pokemon!" while its is a possessive pronoun used to show belonging. So, in all the quotations listed above, it's should be its because eyes, rightful place, and playful nature are all nouns that belong to Caterpie. A quick way I use to distinguish the two is the apostrophe in it's - that apostrophe brings two words together like jelly in a PB&J sammich, so that's like a quick checking point to see if I mean one word or the two!

    You’re face warmed in embarrassment.
    You’re articlein the newspaper [...]
    Additionally, you're is a contraction that brings together the words "you are." Your is a possessive adjective used to show belonging. So in these cases, we would have your face and your article.

    Length:

    We count length by characters with spaces, never with words. You went above and beyond the call for a little Caterpie, so excellent job here! Internally, the story progressed at a fair pace throughout. Nice job!

    Outcome:

    Caterpie Captured! Good job with this first story! I hope you write a lot more. You have wonderful potential for more stories! Continue writing, reading other stories, and enjoy! I hope to see you in the Summer Writing Competition!

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