URPG Times October 2017

EDITOR'S NOTE: You all may have noticed this article was heavily “delayed”; I realized early on in the month that an end of the month, rather than beginning of the month schedule for release would not only help the “of the Month” columns, but also would better help me coordinate articles and restructure after any Times postings. So here we are! I hope you guys enjoy the spoop, and the fun we had making this issue! See you in November!

Additionally, we have a new addition filling in for Nitro (and hopefully staying!), so please welcome FD to the URPG Times!

Table Of Contents:
I. Pokémon of the Month
II. Pokémon of the Month Lore
III. Toxic vs Poison: When to Use Which
IV. Special Pokemon Stats Exposé
V. Jurk Mons
VI. NUKEM of the Month
VII. Stories of the Month
VIII. Art of the Month
IX. Music Column Round 2: Memes Aren’t Dreams After All
Epilogue. Payments, Awards, and Jobs

Pokemon of the Month
By Mikey57​

Hello Everyone! Mikey57 here with your DUO Pokemon of the Month analysis! That’s right, not one, but TWO Pokemon! Spooooooooooky!!! We’re going to report two very, very spooky Pokemon in the spirit of Halloween… be ready!!!

Banette

The ghost of an abandoned doll that the child no longer wanted. This Ghost type Pokemon is a strange one within URPG. With a high 329 Attack stat, it hits hard physically, but every other stat is fairly mediocre in comparison. Beside a 265 Special Attack stat, the rest of the stats are fairly low, causing Banette to suffer from frail defenses and a slow-tiered speed stat.
Banette has three abilities to use within URPG; Insomnia, Frisk, and Cursed Body. Insomnia prevents sleep, while Frisk reveals the opponent's item. However, Cursed Body is always the way to go; 30% chance to disable any move your opponent uses that hits you is absolutely amazing.
Banette's level up moves are absolutely great. It learns Curse, Knock Off, Phantom Force, Shadow Ball/Sneak, Snatch, Sucker Punch, Trick, Will-O-Wisp, etc. This Pokemon offers plenty of offensive threat and utility as well. It has amazing breed moves, move tutors, etc, learning moves like Gunk Shot, Cotton Guard, Pain Split, and much more utility. It has a wide TM pool that learns many wonderful moves such as Thunder Wave, Psych Up, Toxic, etc. The reason I’m focusing on the utility is because of MEGA BANETTE!

Mega Banette

Say hello to super prankster ghost! That’s right, this bad boy comes with PRANKSTER! Those Cotton Guards, Thunder Waves, Toxic’s, all of those amazing Utility moves get a +1 priority increase, causing Mega Banette to start some hardcore stall wars. Besides Prankster, Mega Banette gets an attack stat buff that increases the base from 329 to 429! That’s a 100 base increase, this thing will hit like a truck! While most of its other stats were increased by 20, with the exception Banette’s special defense increasing by 40, Mega Banette still suffers from weak base stats. Priority cotton guard is absolutely amazing though, if you’re against a physical user, make sure to set up the guard before they get to you first!

If you want a Banette/Mega Banette for yourself, head on over to the PokeMart! Shuppet is only 8,500$ and Banettite 17,500! If you have the spare 26,000, why not get yourself a prankster monster that will cause your opponents to want to rip their hair out during the battle!

Pidgeot

If you’ve ever seen Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds”, you already know this thing is super scary. Our dear friend, Ralin, has caused “The Birds” to take place within URPG. Since the ending of Contest Carnival, the Pidgey population has spiked ten-fold. We now have Pidgeots running around everywhere, and they’re out for blood, but let’s talk about this murder bird.
Pidgeot was the first, the OG, the “Bird-Jesus” of all birds. While suffering from mostly average stats, it has a base speed of 301. That’s pretty good, but the others are 259 attack, 249 defense, and 239 special attack and defense. Poor murder bird suffers from very mediocre stats, but that won’t stop it and its buddies from plucking your face off.
Three abilities on the killer bird. Keen Eye, which prevents accuracy from being lowered, Tangled Feet, which raises evasion by twenty percent while confused, and Big Pecks, which prevents defense from being lowered.
Pidgeot has some pretty good moves behind it. Air Slash, Hurricane, Roost, Whirlwind, etc all make it ready to take advantage of its… low special attack stat. TMs such as Reflect, Hyper Beam, Detect, Steel Wing, Secret Power, and U-Turn all provide some good offense power and slight utility on killer bird. The only real highlights are its MT’s: Heat Wave and Ominous Wind, providing the ultimate spread for…

Mega Pidgeot

That’s right, this bird just got a whole lot more murderous. Let’s just state the fact that Pidgeot is now out for blood, with an increased special attack stat from 239 to 369. Holy abandoned Banette dolls this thing is going to murder someone's family. Also, with an increase in speed from 301 to 341, this bad bird is going to outspeed most Pokemon without boosts. Mega Pidgeot's ability is No Guard, meaning it cannot miss any attacks it uses, but all moves will hit it in return. A very risky move considering Mega Pidgeot's defenses still are very mediocre, but Hurricanes never missing is amazing. If you want a Mega Evolution that can be an effective Special Sweeper, look into getting yourself a Pidgey! Pidgey is only simple rank, so crank out that Story, Art, or National Park run now!

We’ll see you next month for an exciting Thanksgiving edition! Hopefully with no birds involved… Don’t forget to Claim your 1k for owning a Banette or Pidgeot now! Also make sure to tune into the next episode of the Podcast to possibly earn 1k for that Pokemon of the Month!

Pokemon of the Month Lore (Banette)
By Juliorain
Banette Lore​

Banette is one of the ghosts introduced in Hoenn, and has one of the most interesting backgrounds of the ghosts introduced in that generation. It was said that a Banette was a disowned doll tossed out, forgotten, and who forever wants to exact revenge on its previous owner. You’ll be able to find Banette hiding at night in garbage piles, dumpsters, and landfills where it would be searching for its long lost trainer waiting to take its revenge. It is a very angry and will stalk a Pokémon or person if it is disturbed. It can tap into its strong power by sending curses and sticking pins into its body, like a voodoo doll. Despite its vengeful nature, and powerful attacking ability, it is fragile and is said to carry all of its power within its body and if it is ripped, or if Banette’s mouth zipper is opened, its life energy would leave. It and Mimikyu could get along I’d imagine, since both creatures are attracted to cloth. Mimikyu will work furiously into the night to repair its disguise, while Banette’s life rests on whether or not if its zipper is open. The two could work as a pair to mend the tears in Banette body.

When Banette mega evolves, it is said that it rage was amplified and steadily released more of its energy via the unzipping of its gained zippers. It grows stronger, but it is tightly contained with its mouth zipper which holds all of its bursting power together.

Banette evolves from Shuppet who is a smaller, quieter Pokemon who feeds on others’ dark feelings and envy for others. Like Banette, it loves the night, but, unlike its later evolution, prefers to be in swarms and invade homes filled with people giving out negative emotions. It has just as many vengeful feelings as its fully-realized state, and will inhabit a new doll upon its evolution.

Pokemon of the Month Lore (Pidgeot)
By Liam​

Birdwatcher Liam here with another Pokémon Lore! This month is that nostalgic first gen birb, that OG death from the sky, the one and only: Pidgeot! Its name comes from “pigeon” and “jet”; jet precluding to how fast Pidgeot is fabled to fly (up to Mach-2, twice the speed of sound) and pigeon from the type of bird Pidgey is based from. However, PLOT TWIST, Pidgeotto and Pidgeot are more likely designed from the golden eagle, a common raptor in the northern hemisphere found on both the northern American continent and the northern part of the Eurasian continent.

Golden eagles have played a large part in human culture from Europe to Asia in the past centuries. In Europe, most images of the golden eagle were attested to the Romans who used this bird as a symbol for their legions, the largest factions of their armies. Their influence on the European landscape left its mark, where the Germanic and Celtic barbarians (along with leftover populations from the Roman Empire after it fell like the Holy Roman Empire, and other local varying groups) continued to use the golden eagle as a symbol of strength and power. Today, in fact, the golden eagle is the national animal for Austria, Germany, and Albania, as well as Mexico and Kazakhstan (which I’ll get to in a moment). This heavy influence and symbolism even influenced countries like the United States; when the States were developing their own country, they took many points of influence from the Roman Empire and essentially sought to create a better one. In doing so, they even decided to make an eagle their national animal, albeit a more local one (psst, it’s the American bald eagle).
On the Eurasian Steppes, falconry (the sport of using falcons and eagles to aide hunters) was a practice many used. Most who practiced falconry used a trained golden eagle to help find and kill their pray— like their very own real life Pidgeot! This culture is so strong in some of these people, that they have made the golden eagle their national symbol, i.e. Kazakhstan.

The golden eagle has also played a major role in the Arab world as well, being on the coat of arms in Egypt, Iraq, and Palestine. So, WOW gamefreak. They took a very common birb like a pigeon, a dopey meh beginner bird and had it evolve into a brutish, well flying machine that much of the world can somehow relate to, bravo GF, you stepped up.
Lastly, one might be able to see the eyes of Pidgeot are sort of mystical in form, like they remanence of an ancient time, maybe even… Egyptian?! That’s right! Pidgeot’s eyes are similar to the Eye of Horus, an Egyptian symbol for protection, royal power, and good health. It’s also similar to the all-seeing eye of providence, which could allude to Pidgeot’s ability to see very far which we know from its ability, Keen Eye, and Pokédex entries that say it can see a Magikarp all the way from 3,300 feet away!

So, if you want a Pokémon that can help you hunt, be a symbol representative of many cultures in the northern hemisphere, fly at twice the speed of sound, have an all-seeing eye, and be of the family of the beloved aaabaaajss, or Bird Jesus, then get yourself a Pidgey and train away youngster!!
:whew:

Toxic vs Poison: When to Use Which
By Juliorain
When to Toxic Poison and When to Standard Poison?​

To newer players both forms of indirect damage can seem great since it is damage that happens without having to attack the enemy. Both can seem the same but both are very different forms of indirect damage that can help you KO your enemy faster. However, since both forms of toxic have different mechanics, they will apply to different situations.
Let’s begin with Toxic Poisoning. The toxic formula is a simple sum of the strength, i.e. how much the damage grows every turn, summed over all the turns the poisoned poke
is out. In mathematical language, it is:



Where n is the number of turns and 6.25 is the 6.25% of the total damage dealt by the end of the first turn. So for instance, for the first turn 6.25% of damage has been dealt, but by the fifth turn 93.75% of the poisoned Pokémon’s health would have been dealt. The sum diverges, which is good because that means its grows and grows but starts off weak.
If we pretend for a moment that each turn is continuous, or is infinitely short we can actually turn that sum into a more readily understood formula with some basic calculus. We find that the sum turns into:
TOX ( n ) = (6.25/2)( n )(n+1)

As you can see, it starts off small and then quickly grows very large as the n turns of the poisoned pokemon increase. I’ve plotted this against the curve for normal poison against the curve for toxic poison in the chart below where the horizontal axis is the turn number. The blue line is the toxic curve, while the orange line is the regular poison curve.




You can clearly see that for the first two turns normal poison deals more damage than toxic poisoning, but by the end of the third turn the toxic damage and poison damage will equalize. I’ve plotted how the minimum damage requirements change with the addition of poison in the below chart:



So, by these numbers, toxic and regular poison appear to do similar amounts of damage at least to speed up the killing process. It doesn’t make that much difference for one turn for either normal or toxic poison. The differences really show up after many turns have passed.
So now that I’ve shown what it takes to KO a poisoned pokemon, it seems that Normal Poison might be the way to go. However, that only assumes the opposing Pokemon can’t do anything about its hp. If you’re up against a Pokémon that can restore their health readily, normal poison can be a problem because most standard healing moves will give you +50% HP boost while the poison knocks off a mere 12.5, which gives you a net +37.5. With toxic, you can avoid this by having the toxic damage increase over time which will, in time, nullify the healing and make it harder to stall. By three turns, the damage accumulated by either toxic or regular poison will equalize, so if you are patient, toxic poisoning can yield dividends by rendering pure HP healing useless.
If you know you're going to stay in for more than three turns, or artificially stall out via Protect or Substitute, then toxic is the far superior option to regular poison. You could protect stall turns out to rack up damage, but that also wastes a turn and can possibly open your Pokémon out to exploitation, especially in Public/Open when you don't have a good send order. Stalling Pokemon with a plethora of recovery options such as every Eeveelution, Blissey, Clefable, and any Prankster, are especially good with toxic stalling. Every Pokemon that can learn TMs can learn Toxic, Substitute, and Protect. It is worth noting that Poison types have perfect accuracy while Pokemon of every other type have a 10% chance of missing when using Toxic.
Most Poison types carry the ability to either toxic or normal poison and you’ll find that standard poison chances are common with poison-type moves. Only Poison Fang has a chance to inflict the Toxic status besides the TM, being afflicted with a Toxic Orb, or the opponent making contact with two layers of Toxic Spikes. Setting up Toxic Spikes can be an asset as it will discourage switching or force certain item or Pokemon choices. If the opponent ignores the spikes, the poison damage will accumulate over the course the entire battle and will negate any lost turns that you need to poison the opposing pokemon, thereby making it easier to KO them.
Make sure Pokémon who can heal status ailments, such as fast Heal Bell or Refresh users can't heal or have them re-poisoned as fast as possible. Try to put them in predicaments where if they heal, will be KO’d, taunted, flinched, etc.; and find a way to keep them from switching out to reset the counter. Trapping moves are excellent, or setting entry hazards could scare the Pokemon from switching out also work to keep the other pokemon in. A fast taunt option is always excellent, too. There are alternative forms of indirect damage such as weather or leech seeds that you could stack upon the toxic damage, since it makes healing from toxic less important. Exactly how to go about that is up to the trainer.
I hope this article shed light on the similarities and differences with the two major status conditions that you’ll probably face multiple times during your URPG career. I think toxic is used more widely due to sheer availability and it being such an effective anti-stalling tool. They have their work-arounds and Poison and Steel types are immune* to the status condition, but by-and-large it is both something to both plan to use and use against because of its power to break stallers and sweepers.

*Only Pokemon with the ability Corrosion can poison steel and poison types.

Pokemon Stats Analysis
By GrayMagicGamma​

Words are hard. I'll write this article with numbers.

IVs, EVs, and Natures; What are they?

Each individual Pokemon has three values that determines what stats they have in-game. Without them, every level 100 Dragonite would have the same stats as every other level 100 Dragonite. Here's a breakdown of how they work in-game:

IVs: All six stats have an IV. This value can be anything from 0-31, and they give a single point to that stat per IV at level 100. There's no limit to IVs, and you can hypothetically max out all IVs in-game.

EVs: All six stats have an EV. At level 100, they add one point for every 4 EVs in that stat. The maximum number of points an EV can have is 255; both 255 and 252 give an additional 63 points, so there's no reason to put more than that in a single stat. Each Pokemon can only have 510 EVs; after putting 252 in two stats, you'd have 6 points leftover, 4 of which could give you a single point in any other stat.

Natures: Unlike IVs and EVs, Natures can only affect five of the stats; Natures cannot affect HP. After IVs and EVs are added on to stats, Natures will add 10% to one stat and subtract 10% from another stat. Like everything else in Pokemon besides recoil, this is rounded down.

How does URPG handle all this?

In case you don't know, here's how URPG handles each of these variables.

IVs: All IVs are maxed out. With only a few exceptions, this rarely makes a difference compared to in-game. This is not only because IVs are usually maxed out in competitive Pokemon, but because IVs can only contribute 31 points before natures.

EVs: All EVs are maxed out. As I'll explain later, this actually makes a pretty big difference, and because EVs are additive (not multiplicative) they don't make the same difference for all Pokemon. It's not quite as simple as "it makes everything tankier" like I've heard some people say.

Natures: Natures aren't used in URPG. This change is sometimes cited as the biggest change to how stats are calculated, but I'm skeptical.

IVs

Let's start with something simple. As I stated before, IVs add up to 31 points to a stat, and in-game they can all be maxed out. There's only three realistic scenarios where you wouldn't want a stat to be as high as possible:

-Trick Room: The lower your speed, the sooner you move in Trick Room.

-Gyro Ball: The lower your speed, the harder this move hits.

-Foul Play: The lower your attack, the weaker your opponent's Foul Play will hurt you for.

EVs

EVs can easily be set to 0 in-game, just like IVs. Because of this, they affect everything IVs do for the same reasons:

-Trick Room

-Gyro Ball

-Foul Play

The key difference is that you can't max out more than two EVs in-game, while URPG maxes out every stat. In-game, sweepers usually have their Speed and one Attack stat maxed out. Tanks usually have a mix between the two Defense stats and HP. Trick Room users usually max out one of their Attack stats and distribute the remaining EVs between the Defense stats and HP. Every Pokemon is influenced by this change to some degree or another. Utility Pokemon have the most diversity when it comes to IV spreads.

- Sweepers: Defense, Special Defense, and HP are increased by 188 points (63+63+62). Secondary attack stat increased by 63 points.

- Trick Room: Defense, Special Defense, and HP are increased by 125 points (63+62). Secondary attack stat increased by 63 points.

- Tanks: Defense, Special Defense, and HP are increased by 62 points. Both attack stats are increased by 63 points each. Speed is increased by 63 points.

- Utility Pokemon: Stats are increased by 251.

Natures

Not only can Natures not be maxed out in every stat in-game, they can only increase one and decrease one. Since they decrease a stat, their removal from URPG affects everything IVs do:

- Trick Room

- Gyro Ball

- Foul Play

In-game, sweeper natures are almost always used to increase the Attack stat you want your Pokemon to use while decreasing the other Attack stat. Tanks are usually given a Nature in their stronger Defense stat so they'll need fewer EVs in that stat to bring it up to par with their other Defense stat. Utility Pokemon are either given Speed or their lower Defensive stat.

- Sweepers: Attacking stat decreased by 10%

- Trick Room: Attacking stat decreased by 10%

- Tanks: Lower defensive stat decreased by up to 10% depending on EV distribution

- Utility Pokemon: One stat decreased by up to 10% depending on EV distribution

General Changes

Before I get into how all of the strategies and categories of Pokemon I've mentioned are affected by URPG's stat formula, let me go over how these affect Pokemon in general.

- Weaker Pokemon: Pokemon with lower Base Stat totals are affected drastically by these changes. The biggest example is Wishiwashi (Solo), which goes from 231/76/76/163/87/104 to 294/139/139/149/149/179, or from 737 points to 1049 points, a 42% increase. The three Pokemon that are affected the least are Mega Mewtwo X, Mega Mewtwo Y, and Mega Rayquaza. Mega Rayquaza goes from 351/504/237/356/236/329 to 414/459/299/459/299/329, or from 2013 to 2259, a mere 12% increase. This boost for lower BST Pokemon partially explains why Eviolite users are so strong in URPG, like Murkrow and Porygon2.

- Split Attackers: Before you grab your pitchforks thinking I just said Mega Rayquaza isn't overpowered in URPG, let me continue. Other than Pokemon too slow to make proper use of their speed stat, Natures are almost always used to decrease a Pokemon's lower Attack stat. Let's look at Mega Rayquaza again. It has literally identical Attack stats, and it gets great special moves like Surf, Fire Blast, and Draco Meteor that could support it as a Split Attacker. Despite this, the "Split Attacker" set that's usually used can only afford to max out Speed and only give four EVs to Special Attack. The perfect Split Attacker can't even make full use of its attack stats in-game. URPG completely changes this. Mega Rayquaza's Special Attack goes up from 356 to 459 in URPG from its traditional physical sweeper set, letting it make proper use of its special moveset at last. Even when you look at less traditional Split Attackers URPG makes the weaker Attack stat much more favorable than before. With Typhlosion's Attack going up from 183 to 267, it can make use of its physical movepool. Against a defender with equal defenses, it deals more damage in URPG with Thunder Punch than Hidden Power Electric. In-game, even Wild Charge wouldn't deal nearly as much damage as Hidden Power Electric unless the opponent had an absurd amount of special defense. In general, URPG's stat formulas make many Pokemon into potential split attackers.

- Set HP moves: Since Natures can't affect it, HP is the highest possible it can be in URPG. Therefore, moves like Seismic Toss and Psywave that deal damage directly to HP take out a lower ratio of a Pokemon's health.

- HP fraction deduction: Moves like Toxic remove a percentage of a Pokemon's HP rounded down. In-game, you can lower your Pokemon's IV to 30 from 31 so each hit of percent health damage is reduced by a single point. At 416 HP, 3 ticks of Toxic deal 156 damage to Lugia, but if you reduced its health to the odd 415 points in-game, it would only deal 153 points.

Specific Changes

Trick Room: You can't make low-ish speed Pokemon purposely have lower speeds than other Pokemon, invalidating some potential Trick Room users. The TR users that are still slow enough to take advantage of it have their stronger Attack stat lowered by 10%, reducing the chance of being able to KO a Pokemon sent into an active Trick Room before TR expires. While I don't want to get too much into the 4 move limit's removal in this article, Protect can cut Trick Room's duration in half.

Gyro Ball: Ferrothorn goes from 40 Speed to 139 Speed. Aegislash goes from 112 to 219 Speed. Ferrothorn does less than 1/3 of the damage it normally would with Gyro Ball in URPG, and Aegislash does a bit over half the damage it would do in-game. The move is borderline unusable.

Foul Play: Weakness Policy Espeon is the biggest example of a target for this that I know of. After Weakness Policy activates, it has 458 Attack in URPG. If you minimize its Attack in-game, Weakness Policy will only bring it up to 242, cutting the opponent's Foul Play damage into less than half.

Sweepers: Sweepers deal 10% less damage if they're using their higher Attack stat in URPG due to the lack of natures. What makes a significantly larger difference is how tanky they get; due to EVs being additive and affecting HP, sweepers' lower defensive stats are significantly improved. For example, Blaziken goes from 301 Health, 176 Defense, and 176 Special Defense to 364 Health, 239 Defense, and 239 Special Defense. Both of its bulk would go up from 52,976 to 86,996; this lets it take 64% more damage before dying. -10% damage for +64% survivability is pretty huge. If a Blaziken cleanly instantly killed another Blaziken in-game with no leftover damage, it would only deal 54% of the other Blaziken's health in URPG.

Tanks: Tanks honestly aren't that much tankier in URPG. Using the format HP/Defense/Special Defense (Physical Bulk/Special Bulk), Blissey goes from 714/130/307 (92k/219k) to 714/119/369 (84k/263k) (a drop in Physical Bulk and a 20% increase in Special Bulk), Toxapex goes from 303/342/421 (103k/127k) to 304/403/383 (122k/116k) (18% increase in Physical Bulk, decrease in Special Bulk), and Gliscor goes from 352/289/215 (101k/75k) to 354/349/249 (123k/88k) (21% increase in Physical Bulk, 17% increase in Special Bulk). Keep in mind Blaziken, a sweeper, has nearly 87k of each Bulk in URPG. While tanks have their bulk compared to sweepers reduced from well over double to rarely over an extra half, their attack stats go up an extra 94 points, causing them to deal up to 50% extra damage.

Utility mon: Wildly vary depending on what job you want them to do, but in general get better at everything they tried to do without maxing out one stat. Whimsicott is a little slower in URPG for example, while Arcanine just kind of gets better at everything.

tl;dr

Stuff that gets better: Foul Play, percent damage from stuff like Toxic, Pokemon with low base stats, Pokemon that rely on Status moves (Utility Pokemon), Split Attackers

What gets worse: Set HP moves like Seismic Toss, Trick Room users, Gyro Ball users

What gets some give and take: Sweepers deal 10% (or less) reduced damage, but become insanely bulky; Tanks aren't much tankier than Sweepers but deal an insane amount of direct damage for being "tanks"

Jurk Pokemon
By Weir​

Hey guys! So I’ll be taking over this column from now on; we wish Xali luck on his future endeavors!

The Jurk Pokemon of the Month is a Pokemon not many of you know about, but is for sure one of the biggest jerks in the game, and a personal archenemy of mine. Not only does it have an ability involving Attraction (which, as we know, makes you a bad person), it also has Frisk, effectively meaning this is the bully rummaging through your backpack trying to find your lunch money. Not only that, it also has a final ability almost worse than the others: Competitive, which is ironic because even though this Pokemon got an extensive Gen 1 movepool, it will never be competitive. Yes, I’m talking about Wigglytuff.

Wigglytuff is the embodiment of everything wrong with everything. It has a high health stat, making it a problem to take down, and also a decent Special Attack stat, which can be amplified by Competitive. It also only has 2 weaknesses; don’t try Fighting type moves on this silly balloon and expect to get anywhere. To add insult to injury, it has a low speed stat, as if saying “Ha, I know I’ll move after you but I’m gonna taunt you about it.”

A big reason Wigglytuff is in its DNA; going back we see Igglybuff, which is fine in its own right, but the middle evolution-- I know fans of the anime know what I’m talking about, as well as members of the Super Smash Brothers Melee fanbase. This evo is just pure destruction and unhappiness, and it obviously was passed on to its successor. And who wants that in their stats?

Hands down, if Wigglytuff was the only fairy in the game, and I needed to kill a Dragon mon, I’d rather forfeit. Be careful when around these balls of rage, and watch out for such stupid moves as Wish (ing for death), Perish Song (pretty self explanatory), Pain Split (jesus this is self explanatory), and Snatch (again, the bully stealing things).

Good counters to Wigglytuff include most Steel and Poison Mons, as well as mons that can keep it down like Electric Types, and Fire Types, which make its Fairy STAB useless. Arcanine sticks out with the regular Metagross and Gengar, which makes both its STABs useless. Be careful of its Icy Wind; very fast mons like Jolteon and Raichu can take one of these and still be faster, giving them an edge.

All in all, please use this warning to eradicate these monsters off the face of URPG. Thanks for tuning in!

NUKEM of the Month
By Ralin​

PROJECT NUKEM: G​

The Taste of Style You Were Born With:
Breeding Moves.

Hot Topic. You know it, you may or may not love it. A Scene kid’s T-shirt wonderland. A place where a (scene) kid can be a (scene) kid. This is also the place where Gothitelle roams. Weird cringey Anime memes on shirts, band shirts, and weird gothic clothes that you’re not sure who wears them. These are all traits that sit just beneath the surface of a Gothitelle’s skin. You may not understand it, but it Captivates you.

You take a step closer to the Gothitelle at the checkout. You want to get to know them, you want to be their friend, but they merely give you a Mean Look. Then, you spot it. With your training to befriend a Gothitelle, you found yourself able to use your very own Miracle Eye to see the purchases she is about to make. You scan the slim-fit T-shirt. It’s a Panic! At the Disco T-shirt. You sigh in disbelief loud enough for her to hear. She glares at you again with that Mean Look. She stares at the shirt then back to you, then to the cashier. She hands them her MasterCard, and pays. She turns to leave, stopping for a moment. Her mouth opens slightly. She wanted to cause an Uproar, but she knew it wouldn’t be a smart idea. She leaves.

An Acquired Taste:
Move Tutor Moves.

No one expected it to happen. Not even you, the one so desperate for this Pokemon. The officers said it was a case of Foul Play. You knew they were capable of such things, but you didn’t believe it was the one you were after that could do such a thing. Or so you thought. The recordings on the news said otherwise. She did it. That one t-shirt with a random cat on it. That was the one she Coveted. The one she desired. Her hand went upwards, a Shock Wave must have pierced through the customers that did notice because no one dared to try and stop her. With ease, she Snatched the shirt and put it inside her Magic Coat. So the news reports weren’t lying, it wasn’t some Trick she pulled. You sighed, your desires growing deeper and deeper.

A Taste of Your Own, The Epilogue:
Special Moves

You slipped off the jacket as you entered the store. You wanted to be obvious. Your hunt had gone on for far too long, but it was soon to come to an end. You scanned the Hot Topic. Perfect, a Blink 182 Shirt. That was pretty 90’s, and man, you had your own interests to divulge into. Interests and divulging, that was why you were here weren’t you? Marching to to back and snatching the T-Shirt was easy. Getting out wouldn’t be. But you didn’t plan to get out did you? You made a run for the exit. Screw paying, this was your key to getting that Pokemon. Shouts bellowed out from the crowd. Stomping of heavy footsteps approached as you fled. It was a blur of noise and fists. Security had you in their grasps now. You too, like the Gothitelle, would be Imprisoned. You had achieved the unthinkable. Making friends with a NUKEM Gothitelle.

Story Recap
By Elysia​

WHEN THE KEYBOARD IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD: CONTEST STORIES RECAP

There's been a ton of great stories published since the last episode of the Times, but this article features the best of the best, coolest of the cool, the titans of our recent contests...!

I had the pleasure of hosting SWC 2017, and it was one of the most exciting contests we've had so far. With a whopping 17 entrants, there were bound to be some incredible stories in the mix, and if you haven't had the chance to poke at them yet, you really, really should breloominati confirmed. The final round alone was one of the most breathtaking photo finishes for a lineup that a gal could ask for!

ZHANG KÖHLER, twenty-eight, pokemon slayer
Poignant, fast-paced, and vibrantly full of questions, this story hits the ground running and never stops. Reality, life, death, and everything in between come into play as we follow Zhang's struggle with dealing with the Real Problems we all face. Framed at first as an application for an RP, Zhang's journey to the afterlife is anything but straightforward. If you haven't already had the pleasure of jumping in, this is your SWC 2017 Champion!

You'll hear more about Spoopy Fest 2017 (haha. geddit? hear? podcast? no? okay) in a bit, but to save you the suspense, this was a contest all about spoops! These stories might be short, but they definitely pack a punch, and they were a ton of fun to read along to. Tune in to the upcoming URPG podcast to get hear the marriage of your fellow writers and voice actors!

lions, tigers and bears
hey look i sense a trend
Kicking off strong with that Oxford comma in the title, this story is all about the details. Chilling from the start, as we learn that someone very close to the narrator has just died, this story starts to dig deeper into the fears beyond the flesh. Equal parts spoopy and heartbreaking, this story probes at the deeper things that trouble us all.

invisible
Calm at first and rapidly transitioning into some Deeply Unsettling Stuff, this story masterfully juggles tension and unease as the plot thickens. The narrator is certainly what sells it, but there are some images here that'll stick with you forever.

The Children
Back to the classics, this story is right there in the dictionary as the coolest example of creepypasta that you could find. Chock-full of unsettling imagery and gore, this story is a great option if you don't feel like sleeping ever again.

Haven't had enough of us yet? Read up on the other stories in these competitions, or even join in this month with our event themed towards long stories in celebration of NaNoWriMo!

Art Recap
By Weir​

Here we are again! There was a small lull in the Art section for September, but it’s back in force this month!

First of all, make sure to check out the Spooky Art Fest! It’s open until November 10th! And be sure to see the Monthly Art Theme coming for November!

The Art of the Month for October is Deep Sea Diving by GhostlyGlaceon. This was a Complex piece aiming for a Lapras, and let me tell you, it’s a gorgeous treat. Ghost’s distinctive drawing style combined with a bright, vivid ocean floor where Lapras is seen, curious and obviously enjoying its locale. The detail that went into the coral floor paints a beautiful sea floor, and the light effects are absolutely stunning off of Lapras. I especially appreciated the little details on Lapras; the shell, the small marks on its neck, and the sharp quality of its eye captured me immediately, and I can’t wait to see what Ghost comes up with next! We at the Times wish her the best of luck in curation!

Music Column Round 2: Memes Aren’t Dreams After All
By Fierce Deity​

Editor’s Note: Nitro was pretty overwhelmed with classes and life this month, and I couldn’t imagine replacing this article, until the one person who could succeed Nitro stepped forward. Hope you enjoy!

ay
Rollin - Calvin Harris ft. Khalid and Future
- Idk why but this screams “i’m bored on a Thursday night at my house editing my stats with pointless adjustments”

Turn On The Lights - Future
- tbh I envision members of the Ultra Role Playing Game turning on the lights in their bedrooms to turn on their computers to hop on Discord and use URPG even though that isn’t the meaning of the song

Cake By The Ocean - DNCE
- this reminds me of the countless times i have spent unnecessary funds at bars/clubs and wasted money on beer, liquor, transportation, and single mothers. so i relate this to URPG in the same manner of going to the Mart and buying items/EMs that we will probably never use outside of FFAs once every 7 weeks

Questions - Chris Brown
- i could imagine this being something someone listens to when Weir asks them to list 5 of their favorite songs and give him their take on what people in URPG would be doing while listening to those songs. Wait…

No Complaints - Metro Boomin, Offset, Drake
- WHEWWWW THIS SLAPS :rejoice: I picture myself listening to something like this when I’m battling something as important as E4 or even better, Basics


Payments, Awards and Jobs

Writers

Mikey: 10k for Pokemon of the Month (Pidgeot and Banette)
Liam: 5k for Pokemon of the Month Lore (Pidgeot)
Elysia: 5k for Story Recap
Fierce Deity: 5k for Music Column
Ralin: 5k for NUKEM of the Month
Weir: 10k for Art recap and Jurk Mons
(Note here: consulting an external source for Editor in Chief wages)

Among all the fantastic articles here, there were 2 that in my opinion went above and beyond the call of duty this month, and so I wanted to properly compensate them.

Juliorain: 5k for Pokemon of the Month Lore (Banette), 10k for Toxic vs Poison
GrayMagicΓ: 10k for Stats Analysis

Uncle Weir wants YOU to write for the Times next month! ^WE PAY CASH LOOK^


Cool People

Anyone who owns a Banette can claim 1k
Anyone who owns a Pidgeot can claim 1k
Anyone who owns a Wigglytuff can delete it from their stats claim 1k
Smiles can claim 1k for winning SWC! Congratulations!
GhostlyGlaceon can claim 1k for drawing well
Spoopy Fest Writers can claim 1k (all of em, not just finalists! Thanks so much to you guys for helping us out!)

On analysis from Trainer’s Court during the general Meeting, I feel the pay for interviews and whatnot was a little low (I kept basically the same pay structure since I started, though I tried to innovate where I could). To maybe incentivize some future articles, as well as properly compensate the people who come out and give their time to making the Times great, I am going to bump any interviewee/other article input contributors to 3k, and we’ll see where to go from there. Thank you so much to everyone who helps make the Times a success, it’s an absolute joy putting this together!

ANY CLAIMS FOR EPISODE 4 OF THE PODCAST SHOULD BE ON SEPTEMBER’S ISSUE, NOT THIS ONE. PLEASE FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTIONS.

Don’t forget: any feedback, especially in Weirlind120’s inbox on Discord, is always appreciated! We’re always looking to improve, and the past feedback has helped immensely!

 

EDIT: Claiming mine thanks morru

 

Great issue. I think including an image of POTW/jurkmon would be great so things don't become visually tiring.

Claiming 1k for owning Banette, 1k for owning Pidgeot, and 1k for owning jurkmon Wigglytuff.

 

Claiming my 5k! Thanks guys; cool issue!!

 

A review of FD's music review:

 

claiming 1k for dat pidgeot