Gone Fishing

I want to catch a Feebas!
Rank: Demanding
Type: Drawing

(see bottom for artist's notes)

PS: Forgive me for the slant; I had to use a public scanner and it gave me some problems...

The journey begins...




ARTIST NOTES-------

1. I chose to make it black and white in order to reflect on the character's mood. The piece is very much a philosophy rant as much as a Pokemon project.

2. My signature is in both pieces. Signatures should not obstruct art, so I tried to keep it in the background.

3. If you would like a transcript, please reply to this post.

4. My current pokemon is featured in this piece, shooting down the feebas. Still, the pokemon I am after is the feebas, not the magnemite.

 

I do hereby lay claim to these submitted works of arts, and all the curations thereby.

 

Does that mean I got the pokemon?
@Axion;

 

@Dalek; Nope, it means he's judging your art and deciding whether you get it.

 

@Dalek

Warning: These are long.

Feebas: Part 1

Spoiler

Form/Detail
This is a very organized image, the panels helping to create a very set in stone transition from one part of the action to the next. Organization can be good for the eye, it gives a defined set of directions to follow in understanding the image. But it can also limit creativity and freedom. This image gives a sense of anticipation, as there is no direct action but is instead a build up to another image. The fact that you have a set of events, a story to tell with your image is always something I look for - although maybe not always as literal as this.

Since you have everything blocked out, weight balance in the overall sense is fairly even, since there is something relevant happening in every panel. For focus, again, blocks do help that to an extent. My only suggestion there would be to perhaps make the subject of your capture more prominent, maybe zooming in more on it for the last panel, as the pokemon is occupying maybe 10% of the whole image. And don’t limit your story by telling it with words, let your images speak for themselves once in a while. As the saying goes, a picture is worth 1000 words.

Detail - one thing immediately popped out when I started truly looking at the image. Last panel, you have Feebas looking up at the pier. The problem lies in the boards making up the pier being very thin, and laid lengthwise. Most all piers would be made of larger boards, and be laid widthwise. Especially since you don't show any support structure to hold said long thin boards up, it must be a physics defying pier. It is especially odd, since the panel above shows a much more reinforced pier. Consistency between panels in an image like this is key, especially if you are going for something as high ranked as a demanding.

Ill throw this in here too, when I zoomed in to the image I saw a lot of rougher edges, where the lines perhaps weren’t clean in scanning or drawing (whichever it is you do.) Its always a good idea to make sure the image is smooth, especially in very contrasting images like this.

Color and Shading
Here’s one area where you fell rather flat. The lack of color doesn’t hurt the image, but there is next to no shading. Everything is white, which gives no real sense of shape, form, or reality. The only shading I see is in the second panel, at the back of the person’s head and hair. For anything above easiest we usually expect some amount of shading, for something this high level, everything in the scene should receive some attention. There’s all kinds of light playing in this scene, both from the sun shining down to water reflections, caustics for the underwater scene, and other areas of brightness. By that same token, you would have areas of darkness, like Feebas’ belly as well as the pier support poles perhaps getting darker as they go down.

Something that goes in both shading and detail would be the last panel. In it, I feel like something should be showing through the water, even a ghost of a pole or two feet to show that there is something besides an empty pier above the surface. The lack of underwater distortion also seems a bit odd given the location of the image, the pier lines would not be that sharp and straight if you looked up through non-motionless water.

In a pokemon as high ranking as Feebas, there needs to be a lot more in this category.

Texture
Despite a limited amount of shading and color, you did manage to add enough texture to show a little variation between materials. Most notably would be the wood poles, the small indents showing the rough wood to a certain degree. The hair also has a few light lines to show a fibrous material. Theres plenty to improve on here too. Wood, water, clothing and body parts all have different textures, colors, appearances, ways the light will bounce off them to make each an individual in and of itself. Always make sure to add as much texture as you can to separate everything from each other.

Pokemon Anatomy
Feebas is a little chubby from that low angle, he but I guess that plays right into the ugly duckling scenario. Due to lack of color or much shading its hard to tell exactly what shape or size it is in the image. You have most of the main parts right from what I can see, the fins and tail having enough detail to be recognizable immediately and having a decent amount of detail. I like that the tail is more spread out the way you drew it, a combination of perspective as well as the reality of water separating the thick strands into more separate entities. Stuff like that is what I like to see more of the higher the ranking is.

Environment/Perspective
The environment is more or less what you expect from a story about fishing, the tried and true ocean pier scenario. There's obviously nothing wrong with using it, but adding in more to enhance the reader’s understanding is always what you want. How long is the pier, what surrounds it in the distance, things like that to spice up an otherwise flat locale and give the story depth when it comes to the where.

Since you used more than the traditional 1 image perspective, theres some good that comes from it. The reader gets to see different angles of the subjects present in the image, which can truly enhance the image with correct shading and color to define the elements presented. The perspective I like the best is in the last panel, for obvious reasons. It gives a more interesting view than what you normally see when fishing, a blue-grey expanse of rippling water occasionally touched by some surface imperfection or reflection. So an angle such as this is something good to utilize in images, especially comics.

Creativity/Effort
Creativity - you added some good elements to your image, but its still very much what you would normally expect from an image relating to a water type pokemon. Don’t be afraid to jump outside your comfort zone, make up something completely amazing and maybe even unrelated to water. THe more interesting you make it , the more powerful the image/message. As far as effort goes, I do see the effort, but i know you can be capable of more with this level of talent already showing.

Improvements
I pointed out a lot of things in their relevant sections, but I want to say this: Don’t stop making art, there’s definitely talent here. You draw a whole lot better than I can, and I’m sure with more practice and effort you could catch almost anything on here just by drawing.

Score
15/100
The grade is so harsh purely because of the rank of the pokemon. The higher the level, the more critical we have to be.

Feebas: Part 2

Spoiler

Form/Detail
Good thing you did on panel one - draw the reader into the action of the image. You managed to do that using a few elements, including perspective, action, and the story itself. The angle feels like the reader itself could be drawn in by the pole, and it honestly gripped me a bit (pun partially intended.) The detail you added is also nice, the electric bolts and deck planks in panel two standing out among the rest.

Being similar to the last image in having a four panel progression setup, the comments are similar in structure and limitations of freedom. A suggestion perhaps spice up the images and further drag the viewer in would be to break the panels, make the action happen in the white space as well as the boxes themselves. Dont be constrained by coloring within the lines if the action can happen outside as well. Pokemon prominence also plays a role here, as you’re telling a story but don’t have the main character showing as much as it could be.

Cleanliness appeared to be a larger image in this one than the previous one. When I zoomed in, I saw a lot of light artifacts that would have been eraser smudges or stray pixels from something that was previously there. Tiny specks like that can detract from the overall cleanliness and quality of an image if left in excess, unless they are intentional in certain specific cases.

Color and Shading
Theres just a little more shading than the last image, but its an improvement none the less. I can see the difference in the underside of the pier, as well as the few spots around the hair, face and underside of Feebas. THeres always room for improvement and more shading no matter how perfect you might think it is, so look for opportunities to ad this to more of your future images.

Color, or lack there of again, doesn’t necessarily hurt but it doesn’t help either. Even some greyscale differences could assist in separating the disparate elements of the image and defining the parts more accurately. When everything is white or black, it can be difficult to tell objects apart, or tell what something is. A prime example would be the tear mark in the third panel (Thats what Im assuming it is, see how its hard to tell sometimes?) I could be any number of things, but without color it more often than not just looks odd at first glance, I had to study the image in detail to figure out what that was.

Texture
I can see another light effort into the texture of the image. The clothing has some lines to show where it has bunched up, and the hair has its strands again. Grass tufts are also a good start - now grow from there. Show that everything has its own feel, and that the world isn't made of smooth plastic figurines and glass ornaments, because that world would suck.

Pokemon Anatomy
As we dn’t see all of Feebas in the one main frame we see it in, its hard to tell if its perfectly accurate; the part that we do see is fairly correct in its shape. Something you added to this image over the last one was a bit more expression in the pokemon’s face, its KO’d expression making the reader empathize with the poor defeated fish. THe same is not said as much about Magnemite, as it could be showing fierce concentration or focus instead of passively staring off into the distance. Just ideas for the future.

Environment/Perspective
The environment itself is a continuation of the previous image’s pier location, and offers no further details apart from the large empty expanse surrounding it. There is however some mild variation with the grass field walking onto the sunset panel, which despite its cliche I like because it brings a sense of finality to the very brief action sequence. panels 1 and 3 especially should have some more detail in the background to help fill up that empty space and define where this pier is, unless its floating in the middle of the water. In that case, you have expertly accomplished location definition.

Perspective again is one spot you succeed at, the various poses and such offered allow for good variety in the image panels. The first one is by far the best, the angle and camera position managing to create a tense moment of drama and the viewer is right there to see. Sadly, we don’t get to see it since its a static image, but the effect is there.

Creativity/Effort
Its about the same level as the last one - a good start, but not quite there. Keep arting in URPG because I want to see more of what you can do!

Improvements
Shading and detail, these two areas will always be the two most critically looked at in any image. Without shading you have a flat, featureless world devoid of shape or volume, and detail makes an image interesting and appealing to the eye if not done in excess.

Score
17/100

Few extra points because I saw some stuff that was done better in this one compared to the first one, but still a definite work in progress.

In Summary:

Spoiler

Feebas is not caught. If you decided to skip reading the curations and went straight here, i urge you to read the why, and learn as much as you can from the images. You can only go up from here, and I would be happy to either answer any questions you have, or offer advice/official curations on future artworks you may choose to submit.